Peter David's Blog, page 36

Captain America: Civil War

The most obvious statement to make is this: CIVIL WAR almost makes you feel sorry for BATMAN v. SUPERMAN. This is, quite simply, how you do a conflict between superheroes right. As opposed to having two individuals so similar in dark disposition that you cannot discern a difference between them, in CIVIL WAR the two main protagonists–Steve Rogers and Tony Stark–come at a situation looking at from two profoundly different directions, dictated by their opposing personalities and experiences. You can see both sides and find yourself sympathetic to both.

For comic book fans, aside from the basic underpinning of the government/United Nations wanting to take control of superhero endeavors, CIVIL WAR bears no resemblance to the comic book series. Instead it stems directly from the previous films as the Avengers are apparently being held responsible for the damage that has resulted from their activities. On the surface of it you find yourself wondering how the hell they can be condemned for their actions during an alien invasion or their attempts to stop Hydra from killing millions of people; then again, you witness Hillary Clinton being grilled for eleven hours over terrorist attacks and suddenly it seems pretty much reflective of the world we’re living in.

Matters come to a head when the Winter Soldier is targeted and Captain America, already not on board for the UN accords, ends up defending his friend, and we wind up with the head-to-head that we’ve all seen in the trailers (although there is a FANTASTIC turn of events with one of the heroes during the face to face battle that no advertising has hinted at, and I’m not about to spoil it.) I know that it seemed when THE AVENGERS came out that it seemed as if all the previous Marvel films were building to it, but now it seems as if all the Marvel films were actually building to this: two sets of heroes going at it.

And oh my God, was Spider-Man great. Todd Holland evokes Tobey Maguire at his most vulnerable, and screw what the traditionalists say, I thought Marisa Tomei was fine as Aunt May. Hell, it never really made any sense that the original May was as ancient as she was in the first place; Peter was a teenager. How many teens have senior citizens for aunts and uncles anyway?

The film was two and a half hours long and it felt as if it flew by. I was astounded when I discovered the running time at the end.

Go see it.

PAD

Losing Weight

Some years ago, I got sick of being heavy. So I changed the way I ate, cut out all the crap, and over a period of months lost 100 pounds. I felt great.

Then I got pneumonia. I was in bad shape. But with time and medication, I recovered.

And then the weight started coming back.

I had no idea why. I hadn’t changed the way I ate. I still went to the gym three to four times a week. But either I maintained my weight or, if I ate anything I shouldn’t have, and I mean ANYthing–a slice of pizza, a couple of cookies, a brownie–I would put on a pound that never came off no matter what I did. Eventually, over time, every damned pound I’d lost and then some came back. It got so bad that when I was in the recovery center for my stroke, they had me on a 1500 calorie a day diet for five weeks. I gained five pounds. They were convinced I was cheating; that someone was sneaking me in chocolate bars or something. After that I went to a nutritionist and she put me on a high protein, low carb diet. Gained four pounds and got gout, so that worked.

In modern days I was eating 2000 calories a day and still exercising, but losing no weight. I’d topped out at 320 pounds. It was killing me that I’d go to conventions and people would say, “You look so good!” and by that they naturally meant that I was not walking and talking like a stroke victim. But I knew I looked awful. Not only that but my blood sugar was through the roof. As a diabetic, I should be below 150; instead I was anywhere from 185 to 230. And that was with taking insulin shots.

So I mentioned this to my podiatrist a few weeks back and he said, “There’s a doctor right next door who specializes in healthy living. You should go to him.” And I did.

Basically what he told me was that the steroids I had taken when I had pneumonia had screwed up my body. That anything I ate, my body wasn’t burning up; instead it was holding onto everything. It apparently had set itself into permanent starvation mode. My metabolism had slowed down to nil. Exercise made no difference because it clung onto calories.

He introduced me to a new way of eating. Not a diet per se, but the removal of various foods from what I ate. No carbs of any kind: no bread (except gluten free), no pasta, no Cheeri-Os, God knows no cookies or cake. No sugar: no chocolate of any sort. Limits on fruits: apples are fine, but no bananas, no oranges. No dairy products: no cheese, no milk. He also put me on a regimen of vitamins to help restore my body to its factory settings.

And it’s working. It’s freaking working.

I have been eating this way for two weeks and four days.

I’ve lost twenty pounds. In eighteen days.

The weight is just flying off me. I’m now down to 300 even. My goal, as insane as it sounds, is to lose another 75 pounds before the San Diego Comicon. Furthermore, my blood sugar has dropped to anywhere from 89 to 104, well below where my GP wanted me to be.

Anyone who would be interested in contact information for my doctor and lives in Suffolk County should email me at padguy@aol.com and I will be happy to provide contact info. In the meantime I will provide updates every time I lose another ten pounds.

PAD

Today is A.J. Day

As the grandpad of Anthony Jack (A.J.), son of Ariel and Anthony, I hereby declare May 1 to be A.J. day. Yes, granted, his birthday was April 28, but I just thought of it today.

Mother and son are back home and doing fine. Ariel’s mom drove up and is staying with them for a week so Ariel can rest and have an extra pair of hands.

I’ve been off this website for too long because we were having technical issues. But those have apparently been solved so I will be posting more regularly. Have some important things to discuss so come on back soon. And now, pictures of my grandson:

Batman vs. Superman review (with major spoilers)

Seriously. I’m going to be discussing, among other things, the end of the movie. Which I don’t ordinarily do, but it relates squarely to the film’s major weakness. You’re warned.

The people applauded at the end.

I should mention that first. At the packed Thursday screening I attended, the audience applauded. They didn’t applaud any Marvel films. They didn’t applaud “X-Men: Days of Future Past.” But they applauded BvS because…well, I guess because they had never seen anything quite like it. They believed that they had seen a true rarity in superhero films: a genuine epic.

This was a story of gods and men.

Which is its strength and its problem.

Let’s face it: Superman has always been something of a god. Going all the way back to the first film, as Marlon Brando intoned, “And so I have given them you. My only son.” He was a Christ substitute and the concept of him being a god on Earth could easily have been raised by the citizens of Metropolis. But they didn’t, because Chris Reeve was so human, so affable, so perfectly Smallville cornbread, that not only would it have seemed preposterous to raise him to that level, but his Clark would doubtless have considered it sacrilegious.

But in BvS, that’s entirely what the film is about, with all the pluses and minuses that having a godlike being walking around amongst us would undoubtedly entail. And that is ultimately the problem with the film.

No, the acting isn’t the issue. Ben Affleck, defying the haters, is brilliant as Bruce Wayne and formidable as Batman. His personal enmity toward Superman is understandable as he witnesses first hand the destruction that Supes inflicts on Metropolis in general and his own employees in specific. And Gal Godot…my God, what a great Wonder Woman. Whether she is quietly informing Bruce that he’s never met a woman like her, or actually SMILING as she faces off against Doomsday–SMILING–Godot is a terrific 21st Century inheritor of the role from Lynda Carter.

As for Henry Cavill…well, there’s the problem.

It’s not that he’s a bad actor. He’s not. He even actually has a scene where he gets to act like a human being and climb into a bathtub with Amy Adams’s Lois Lane. He seems to enjoy that. Who wouldn’t? I’m happily married with four children, but I’d climb into a bathtub with a naked Amy Adams if given the opportunity. So would you, so don’t judge.

The problem is that since Superman is a god, he can’t be human. And as a movie goer, there’s a simple truism which is that your personal involvement with a character is determined by his humanity. Ninety percent of the time that Cavill is on screen, he’s in Superman mode, even when he’s Clark. As Superman he never cracks a smile, never cracks a joke, never cracks his facade. Even when a building explodes around him, killing everyone but him, he is just left standing there looking bummed out. He doesn’t try to find out if anyone survived, he doesn’t do anything. He just stands there, like God observing just how idiotic mortals can be.

The plot doesn’t serve him, or anyone, especially well. He is blamed for the deaths of people in a desert city for no reason. When Lex Luthor kidnaps his mother, Martha, he can’t find her for no reason (even though he can find Lois Lane anywhere at the drop of a hat.) Lex Luthor wants to kill Superman for no reason other than that he’s nuts. He’s like a demented Twitter-head on acid. For no reason. Maybe he hates Superman because Superman is God and being a scientist, he doesn’t believe in God and so must drag Superman down to mortal levels.

And Batman wants to get rid of Superman because he likewise perceives him as a God who has the potential to destroy humanity. Because, well, that’s what God does. Why do you think they call earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, etc., acts of God? Let’s face it, if God Himself descended from on high, Batman would probably want a piece of him. It’s only when he discovers he actually has common ground with Superman that he stops trying to kill him. But that’s okay because, as anyone who watched the trailers know–which is everyone reading this–Lex has Doomsday lined up to pick up where Batman left off.

Man, I am so sick of trailers ruining films. In this instance, every major story beat is in the trailers. They literally tell us everything except the last ten minutes, and anyone who was reading comic books twenty years ago KNOWS what the ending is. Superman vs. Doomsday. You know how it ends.

Yes, that’s right. Doomsday kills Superman.

And that’s the culmination of the problem:

I didn’t care.

If Chris Reeves’ Superman had died in “Superman II,” I’d have been devastated (although then we’d have been spared the sequels, so that would’ve been a benefit.) Hell, if Brandon Routh’s Superman had been killed in “Superman Returns,” I’d have been upset.

But when Cavill’s Superman died, I felt absolutely nothing. Indifferent. I wondered if they’d bring him back in future films as they did in the comics and realized that if they didn’t, I’d be fine with that. It would make the JLA films better because let’s face it, if Superman is on your side, you don’t really need anybody else (that’s why he was often off on some space mission in the old days, because otherwise he could’ve solved the JLA’s problem by page six.)

I didn’t care that Superman died because he was so utterly devoid of humanity that his fate was of no consequence to me. Because in the real world, we don’t care about gods. In the Marvel cinema universe, Thor is not a god. We know this because Odin says, “We are not gods,” so that’s pretty much that. So we care about Thor. We care about Jesus because he was human. We care about Hercules because he’s half human. But Cavill’s Superman is treated like a god and acts like a god, helping where and when he sees fit, but largely outside of humanity, as if life is some great party to which he is not invited. He doesn’t get us, he doesn’t understand us, he doesn’t see where his place in humanity is supposed to be. How am I supposed to care about someone who is so detached from the race among which he was raised?

Ultimately what it comes down to is that Marvel has set the tone and style for superhero films. The characters are consistently human (even when they’re raccoons.) The films are replete with humor. (There are exactly two jokes in BvS and they’re both in the trailers.) There is a sense of absurdity that you’re dealing with people in costumes, but the stakes are real enough that you gloss over that, as opposed to BvS where Gotham manages to clear out an entire section because the heroes are going to have a grudge match.

Is BvS worth seeing in a movie theater? Not sure there is any point in telling you that because chances are you’ve already seen it. If you ARE going to see it, then yes, see it in a theater. It’s big, it’s splashy, it’s insanely overblown, and your TV set is simply not large enough to contain it. But be prepared to see that the script does not serve one of its titular characters well, because as much as Luthor may declare that we’re going to see a battle of light vs. dark, day vs. night, we don’t really. At their core, Batman and Superman behave in identical fashion. They are both grim and gritty, both creatures of darkness. The only difference is that one of them cares too much and the other doesn’t seem to care enough.

PAD

Obama should definitely make the next SCOTUS judge a recess appointment

Forty-one minutes ago, Mitch McConnell reiterated that he has no intention of doing his job, something for which ordinary people would be summarily fired. Citing the non-existent “Biden Rule,” he claims that a broad assertion in a hypothetical situation made by Joe Biden in the previous century is somehow a law that Congress must follow.

Screw them. Screw them all. If the Congress refuses to abide by the Constitution, Obama should totally make his latest choice, a man no reasonable individual would have a problem with, a recess appointment. Done deal.

PAD

The next Apropos of Nothing novel is finished

I have just completed “Pyramid Schemes,” in which our ragtag anti-knight returns. This time Apropos winds up in an Egyptian-esque realm where he winds up being tasked to free the slaves and winds up coping with a mummy’s curse.

It will be published during the summer by Crazy 8 Press. If you are a legitimate reviewer, please drop me a line at padguy@aol.com and we’ll see about getting you a review copy.

By the way, I must highly recommend the brand new audio-dramatizations of the first two Apropos novels. Check out Graphic Audio here for more details.

PAD

What the hell is wrong with people?

So Nancy Reagan passed away and naturally Conservatives took the opportunity to bash Michelle Obama, of all people. See?

But then I found that liberals are likewise being dicks, saying all manner of vicious things about Nancy Reagan and, of course, her husband.

I’m sorry: what the hell has happened to this country?

When I was growing up there was an old saying: “You don’t speak ill of the dead.” I always assumed there were two reasons for that. First, the dead can’t defend themselves, so it isn’t sporting. And second, you’re going to hurt the feelings of the family at a time when they’re in mourning.

Whatever happened to that attitude? Whatever happened to simple, goddamned consideration? Why in God’s name have we turned into a country of ignorant shites who don’t care about anyone or anything except themselves? Who will take any opportunity to spout off at length about things they know nothing about, and consider the idea of hurting each other to be some manner of recreational pastime?

Is there any chance that this country is going to reclaim its conscience?

PAD

Live Blogging the Oscars 2016 Edition

8:06–Okay, watching the “opening ceremonies.” Guys? Saying hi to people as they arrive on a red carpet is NOT an opening ceremony. It’s not ANY kind of a ceremony. It’s just people getting there and talking to you. Stop calling it an opening ceremony because it sounds stupid.

8:31–BB8 unveils an Oscar. Yeah, that’s about as close to an Oscar “Star Wars” is gonna get.

8:34–And Chris Rock’s first jokes are about the great debate. Smart.

8:35–The Kevin Hart joke is a keeper.

8:38–Only dead black people in the In Memoriam. Well, if they leave out Leonard Nimoy, at least there’s a good reason.

8:43–Clooney should totally wear that outfit. Ultimately, I think Rock handled that brilliantly.

8:45–“We think you’re all hot. A writer wrote that.” Cute. God, please let “Compton” win. What a great opening statement that would be.

8:47–Oh well. On the other hand, it also would have been cool if “Inside Out” won just because it was so wonderful and original.

8:49–Whenever we see “Best Adapted Screenplay” I can only think of what Orson Scott Card said: If you do a fantastic novelization of a screenplay, it’s called talented hack work. If you do a fantastic screenplay of a novel, they give you an Oscar.

8:51–Rooting for “The Martian.”

8:52–Oh well. Two for two.

8:59–Well, now I’ll never see “The Danish Girl.”

9:06–That was interesting: that was the entire song. In previous Oscars sometimes they’ve forced them to do aborted versions.

9:12–Didn’t see any of those films so didn’t care.

9:14–They played her off with “The Ride of the Valkyries” and then segued into “You’re the One That I want?” Who the hell is doing the music selections? Bugs Bunny?

9:20–How come Marvel Comics movies never get costume nominations? YOU try designing seven different Captain America ensembles.

9:21–Seriously, guys? The moment she says, “I have something important to say,” THAT’S when you kick in to play her off? Couldn’t give her ten seconds more?

9:23–Good call. “Furiosa, Guest Starring Mad Max,” had a hell of a production design.

9:25–I CAN’T READ the stupid little comments on the screen. They’re too freaking small.

9:26–So I’ve been doing this for an hour and no one’s commented. Is anyone reading?

9:36–If “Mad Max” is nominated for this, just announce it won.

9:37–Christ! The one time I said “Mad Max” would win and it DIDN’T. I’m sucking at this this year.

9:39–Interesting. They’re doing this in the order that movies are made. I never noticed that there’s no Oscar for “Best Producer.” Heh.

9:40–Well, thank God “Mad Max” won because at least my initial “Star Wars” joke remains intact.

9:49–Good lord, is it possible that “Mad Max” could win all these Oscars for production and not get the Best Picture? Because I’m betting yeah.

9:51–Okay, I bet Mad Max wins again.

9:52–Yay. Finally got one right.

9:54–How about that! They won’t nominate Andy Serkis, but at least he’s there as a presenter. Or something.

9:55–Whoa! “Ex Machina?” Seriously? I mean, I haven’t seen it so I can’t comment, but it was more impressive than Mad Max? Or Star Wars, for God’s sake?

10:01–That was VERY smart directing, to cut to the kid reacting to the arrival of the ‘Bots. Adults are just smiling but the kid is like, “It’s the droids! It’s BB8!”

10:06–Just for the record, you can still buy Caroline’s girl scout cookies. I’ll put up the link at the next commercial break.

10:08–Damn. Rooting for Sanjay.

10:11–Yay! Disney won something.

10:15–The song is from “Fifty Shades of Grey?” Seriously? Ooookay….

10:17–Well, that was unmemorable.

10:18–Okay! Commercial break! Go order cookies from Caroline! COOKIES!!

10:22–Ordered cookies yet?

10:23–I don’t like this showing trailers for the films. I far prefer when they actually show a scene.

10:24–You know, I’m wondering: if blacks had been nominated for acting roles and “Compton” or the director of “Creed” had been nominated, what in the world would Chris Rock have talked about this evening?

10:28–Come on, Sly.

10:31–Crap. I’d have loved to hear Sly’s speech.

10:39–That was the best presentation speech of the program. Possibly the best of the century.

10:45–Boy, the Price Waterhouse reps are getting younger and younger.

10:50–Okay! So let’s beat that Girl Scout total for Caroline!

10:52–Wait, the PRESIDENT of the Academy is a black woman!? Oh, she must have just loved the controversy this year.

10:59–They kept Leonard for the end. Wait to keep me holding my breath, guys.

11:08–I know I should care about this stuff, but I just don’t.

11:09–I think we’ve only heard two songs. How many were nominated?

11:10–I love how it took them twenty seconds to get to their feet. It’s the VP, for God’s sake.

11:12–Well, that answered my song question.

11:15–Wow. Helluva song. Too bad I never heard of the movie it’s from.

11:16–There is no freaking way this gets done by 11:30.

11:17–WHAT THE HELL IS KOHL’S DOING?! I mean, I get it, they’re taking Oscar acceptance speeches and putting them into completely irrelevant scenarios. I understand that. But WHY are they doing it? What am I not getting?!

11:21–Is Mad Max up for this?

11:22–Well, my Star Wars prediction has held up.

11:25–Hell! Why didn’t they perform all the songs?

11:27–With all deference to Lady Gaga, “Writing on the Wall” is the one that stays with you.

11:38–Aw, come ON. George Miller’s team wins practically every award and he doesn’t get best director? That’s messed up.

11:40–Uhm, orchestra? He’s not paying attention to you. And they noticed! They actually shut up in the face of his speech! Excellent.

11:44–This thing’s gonna wrap just in time to switch to “The Venture Brothers.”

11:48–Really? I thought the actress of “Brooklyn” had it locked up. Hunh.

11:49–That was nice. No one ever thanks the movie goers.

11:56–Good. That makes up for ignoring him for “Titanic.”

11:57–Notice the orchestra isn’t even trying this time.

11:59–WTF?!?

12:01–Seriously? I mean, I’m sure it’s a good film and all, but holy cow. That just came out of nowhere.

Yes, I will be live blogging the Oscars tonight

Join me at 8:30.

PAD

So here’s the deal with Iron Fist

The fact that Iron Fist is Danny Rand, a white guy, is integral to the character. As I recall, he even gets push back from Asians because it’s felt that a white man has no business acquiring the fist in the first place. To cast an Asian as Danny Rand 100% changes the character. He’s no longer Iron Fist, at least how he was created.

Basically, let’s look at it this way: We have had in more recent years another story about someone who seems incredibly unlikely to become a kung fu master who winds up mastering the traits and becomes a mighty warrior. It’s called “Kung Fu Panda.” To declare that an Asian should portray Danny Rand is like saying, “We should have a tiger portray Po.” Any reasonable individual would say, “But wait…if you cast a tiger, it’s no longer Kung Fu Panda. It’s Kung Fu Tiger.”

Exactly.

Now you can chalk up his origins to white imperialism or privilege or whatever you want. But ultimately he’s been around for nearly forty years; he is what he is. To take modern day sensibilities and layer it onto a character created in the 1970s in order to completely change the character is ridiculous. Especially when those sensibilities are so narrowly curtailed along racial cliches that the thought is, “He knows kung fu; therefore he must be Asian!” Why did no one protest when Ant-Man or Peter Quill or Doctor Strange was not cast with an Asian actor? And for the record, my sifu is Greek.

Personally, I’m hoping Iron Fist runs into Shang Chi. How cool would THAT be?

PAD