Durgesh Satpathy's Blog - Posts Tagged "solitary"
130 minutes conversation with Tina
When I was listening to Jenifer’s s
tory, I was crying from inside. As I know the psychology of people with solitude, grief and insanity, I didn’t stop her at any point. But during those precious time I spent with her, I accumulated the positive aspects of her life.
I can’t explain in words; the highest depth of inspiration I get from her story; some extraordinary rays of hope one can never imagine. She proved that “grief can be the biggest asset of your life.” If she can do it, anybody can.
I never feel privileged to be the author of “Equating the Equations of Insanity: A Journey from Grief to Victory.” But I always find it as a gift (emotions of Jenifer).
People say happiness and sorrows can’t be counted, but I am counting my happiness by accumulating the positive responses. I am receiving emails and responses from other social media platforms. Therefore I am sharing here an abstract of one of my conversation with Tina.
130 minutes conversation had with Tina
“Blue, well groomed hair slightly reveals a furrowed, friendly face. Dead amber eyes, set low within their frames, watch energetically over the wildlife they've sought solace for so long. Smooth skin beautifully compliments his nose and leaves a satisfying memory of his luck in life battles.
This is the face of Clinton, a true winner; the real hero of my life.
There's something wonderful about him, perhaps it's a feeling of winning or to lose his life journey. But nonetheless, people tend to try to get him in their friend circle, while making up bigger stories about him.”
Tina further said “I know it’s only an abstract of my dream and I will not get him back again.”
It was the last day of my M.Tech final exam, I step out from the examination hall playing with my day dreams; feeling like I won a big battle of my life. I got a call from my brother at around 4pm and he said “be ready quickly, John uncle is waiting for you at hotel Tulip International nearby your campus.” I was shocked for a moment, even though he was aware of my plans after the exam, why he had sent John uncle so suddenly to receive me? It felt like I was getting some hidden clues from his voice that forced me to stop arguing and I came back home.
At home I found my husband dead…
I had seen him for the last time at Christmas Eve 1994. It’s the tenth deadly year, ever since that horrible day.
I got married at an age of 21, against the will of my parents. On insistence of Clinton I joined M.Tech program 3years after my marriage. Ginjal, my daughter was of 10 month old by that time. And I have experienced the cruel act of grief with a solitary heart.
Ginjal, my daughter is in standard 7th now, she celebrates her birthday every year; missing her Dad in the photo frame.
I am not a good wife;I have hurt Clinton several times; that’s why he left me alone in my path. I am living with my father in law, mother in law, my daughter but no one can understand my grief.
Still I do cry for hours even though I spent 10 years without him. Nothing can heal my pain “the pain of solitary.” Many times I didn’t get answer to my inner voice, “why I am alive?”
It’s Ginjal for whom I am alive and I don’t know till when I will be able to save my life.
What I suggested:
While writing the book “Equating the Equations of Insanity: A Journey from Grief to Victory”, I met many people like you who have already proved that “time is not the healer but it’s a pilot of grief, but an action in time can help you.”
I have learnt, and continue to learn, many lessons during this journey. I really appreciate your love for your husband and it’s obvious that you miss your husband even though he is not physically with you. We usually feel guilty that “by moving on we may dishonor the memory of our beloved”, but things usually go normal if we wished to move on.
Ten years is a long term and you are the victim of time not grief. Practice the lateral equations of insanity in your living; it will help you to build new wings that will help you to lead your life journey. Don’t waste your time by wishing for something that you no longer have, by this you only miss out things in front of you.
tory, I was crying from inside. As I know the psychology of people with solitude, grief and insanity, I didn’t stop her at any point. But during those precious time I spent with her, I accumulated the positive aspects of her life.I can’t explain in words; the highest depth of inspiration I get from her story; some extraordinary rays of hope one can never imagine. She proved that “grief can be the biggest asset of your life.” If she can do it, anybody can.
I never feel privileged to be the author of “Equating the Equations of Insanity: A Journey from Grief to Victory.” But I always find it as a gift (emotions of Jenifer).
People say happiness and sorrows can’t be counted, but I am counting my happiness by accumulating the positive responses. I am receiving emails and responses from other social media platforms. Therefore I am sharing here an abstract of one of my conversation with Tina.
130 minutes conversation had with Tina
“Blue, well groomed hair slightly reveals a furrowed, friendly face. Dead amber eyes, set low within their frames, watch energetically over the wildlife they've sought solace for so long. Smooth skin beautifully compliments his nose and leaves a satisfying memory of his luck in life battles.
This is the face of Clinton, a true winner; the real hero of my life.
There's something wonderful about him, perhaps it's a feeling of winning or to lose his life journey. But nonetheless, people tend to try to get him in their friend circle, while making up bigger stories about him.”
Tina further said “I know it’s only an abstract of my dream and I will not get him back again.”
It was the last day of my M.Tech final exam, I step out from the examination hall playing with my day dreams; feeling like I won a big battle of my life. I got a call from my brother at around 4pm and he said “be ready quickly, John uncle is waiting for you at hotel Tulip International nearby your campus.” I was shocked for a moment, even though he was aware of my plans after the exam, why he had sent John uncle so suddenly to receive me? It felt like I was getting some hidden clues from his voice that forced me to stop arguing and I came back home.
At home I found my husband dead…
I had seen him for the last time at Christmas Eve 1994. It’s the tenth deadly year, ever since that horrible day.
I got married at an age of 21, against the will of my parents. On insistence of Clinton I joined M.Tech program 3years after my marriage. Ginjal, my daughter was of 10 month old by that time. And I have experienced the cruel act of grief with a solitary heart.
Ginjal, my daughter is in standard 7th now, she celebrates her birthday every year; missing her Dad in the photo frame.
I am not a good wife;I have hurt Clinton several times; that’s why he left me alone in my path. I am living with my father in law, mother in law, my daughter but no one can understand my grief.
Still I do cry for hours even though I spent 10 years without him. Nothing can heal my pain “the pain of solitary.” Many times I didn’t get answer to my inner voice, “why I am alive?”
It’s Ginjal for whom I am alive and I don’t know till when I will be able to save my life.
What I suggested:
While writing the book “Equating the Equations of Insanity: A Journey from Grief to Victory”, I met many people like you who have already proved that “time is not the healer but it’s a pilot of grief, but an action in time can help you.”
I have learnt, and continue to learn, many lessons during this journey. I really appreciate your love for your husband and it’s obvious that you miss your husband even though he is not physically with you. We usually feel guilty that “by moving on we may dishonor the memory of our beloved”, but things usually go normal if we wished to move on.
Ten years is a long term and you are the victim of time not grief. Practice the lateral equations of insanity in your living; it will help you to build new wings that will help you to lead your life journey. Don’t waste your time by wishing for something that you no longer have, by this you only miss out things in front of you.
