Jim Wilson's Blog, page 44

Principles of War: Offensive, part 1

 

They want war too methodical, too measured; I would make it brisk, bold, impetuous, perhaps sometimes even audacious.

—Antoine-Henri Jomini, Summary of the Art of War

This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations beginning at Jerusalem.

—The Lord Jesus Christ, Luke 24:46–47

In warfare, the offensive is the means by which one takes the objective. It is an aggressive advance against an enemy to wrest the objective from his possession. An army on the offensive has a moral and physical advantage over the enemy at the point of contact. The offensive is an attitude as well as an action. The attacking general has the advantage of making his decisions first, and then carrying them out. The defender must first wait to see what his opponent does before he makes his decision. The decision he makes is usually forced upon him by the attacker. The aggressor has the advantage of the initiative. He can choose whether to attack and when and where to attack. The defender must wait for him. The aggressor is in the superior position.

There are two general ways in which the offensive can be directed.

• It may be directed against the whole front to take it simultaneously. This is not ordinarily feasible in that it requires much more logistic support (weapons, food, and ammunition), much more fighting, and will sustain many more casualties.

• The offensive may be directed against one segment of the enemy army, the defeat of which

will mean a decisive victory. Decisive means that this defeat of the enemy may cause the rest of the army to capitulate, or it may mean a breakthrough has been made so that the rest of the army remains in a very weak position.

One of the major problems with a direct attack against an enemy is that he wants to shoot back. An attacking force can sustain many more casualties than a defending force (e.g., the Somme in World War I).

This is also true in evangelism; the enemy does not like to be preached to, so he shoots back. Christians do not like to be shot at, so they have opted not to preach. That is one solution, but not the right one.

In the Gulf War over Kuwait, there were six weeks of air bombardment and one hundred hours of ground attack. The coalition forces suffered very few casualties. I would like to compare the six weeks of air bombardment to concentrated prayer. I can touch the enemy, but he cannot touch me. This concentrated prayer softens up the objective so that when I go in to preach I do not get shot at.

(To be continued on Monday...)

*Excerpted from Principles of War. To purchase, visit ccmbooks.org/bookstore.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Principles of War: Objective, part 2

 

The first objective is sowing the seed. The second is reaping the harvest when the seed falls on good ground. If we sow the seed in every heart, but do not reap where the seed prepares a harvest, then we have not reached our objective. We have in effect added to the condemnation of men with the gospel. We have been a savor of death unto death rather than life unto life (2 Cor. 2:16).

If, on the other hand, we reap where we have sown, but we do not sow in every heart in our assigned mission fields, then we still have not reached our objective. This is serious. This objective is not a mere psychological goal that makes us feel good when we get there. This is a mission assigned by our commander in chief. Not to get there is failure to carry out the assigned mission: it is defeat. Even if people do not or will not respond to the message of good news, this has no bearing on the objective to communicate the message to them. God assigns the objective; the people do not choose their own.

Sun Tzu said, “In war then, let your great object be victory, not lengthy campaigns.” This truth was violated partially in Korea, completely in Vietnam, and not at all in the Gulf War in Kuwait. In the Korean and Vietnam wars, we rotated men and units in and out of the theater of operations. That meant everyone got ribbons and medals. It also meant lengthy campaigns, more casualties, and no victory. In Vietnam, our objective deteriorated to counting the bodies of the enemy killed.

As I write this, many Christian missions have set certain measurable objectives to be accomplished within the next ten years. However, there are three problems with this kind of thinking:

• The objectives are too small.

• They are too far away.

• They should not be measurable. (In the spiritual war, God keeps the records.)

In other words, we are planning for lengthy campaigns, not victoriouscampaigns. Ten years from now is too far away.

In World War II, the Allies defeated the two most powerful, industrialized, militaristic nations of the world, which already had a head start when the United States entered the war. They were already off and running, while we had to start from nothing with our Pacific Fleet sunk. We defeated them in three and a half years. They were at the extreme end of our supply lines. Men who had fought for two years in Africa and Europe boarded ships in France and headed directly for the invasion of Japan. In other words, we had an objective of victory, not a lengthy campaign.

The Church has been counting on the victory prophesied in the second coming, rather than seeking the victory commanded and mandated in Matthew 28:18–20 before the end of the age. This is a cop-out from present responsibility.

Unless we know where we are going, it is of little importance how we go about getting there. The objective is primary.

*Excerpted from Principles of War. To purchase, visit ccmbooks.org/bookstore.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Principles of War: Objective, part 1

 

In war then, let your great object be victory, not lengthy campaigns.

—Sun Tzu, The Art of War, 500 B.C.

But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

—The Apostle Paul, 1 Cor. 15:57

When war is declared by Congress, their objective is victory. They pass this assignment over to the commander in chief. The commander in chief, with the joint chiefs of staff, makes an estimate of the situation, comes to a decision, and develops a plan. To oversimplify it, the decision might be to invade and occupy specific nations in Europe and Asia. The plan would be to assign Asia to commander in chief, Pacific, and Europe to commander in chief, Atlantic. These subordinate commanders must then make an estimate of the situation, come to a decision, and develop a plan. They in turn assign objectives to subordinate commanders.

Commander in chief, Pacific, orders the commander of the Seventh Fleet to land certain armies and marine divisions in the assigned country in Asia. This process of estimating the situation, making a decision, and assigning objectives to subordinate commanders continues right down to the company, platoon, and squad levels. Every man in the chain of command has his objective assigned to him by a higher authority.

Now, suppose an individual infantryman has as his objective the top of a sand dune on a beach in Asia. He is pinned down by enemy fire, and he cannot make a move. While he is in this position, he suddenly sees a paper floating across the beach.

So far, this is a very realistic situation; but suppose we make it unreal, even ludicrous. The paper happens to be a page from the Joint Chiefs of Staff Operation Order. As the page lands in front of him, he reads the assigned objective to the commander in chief, Pacific: Invade and occupy on the continent of Asia. This is too much for him. He cannot even get off the beach, and they are telling him to occupy the whole nation. To him it is unrealistic. Since he cannot understand how the whole country can be taken, he might even lose the will to get to the top of the sand dune.

Enough of the illustration. Jesus Christ is our commander in chief, and He has assigned the overall objective and put it in the grasp of every one of His followers in the directive of the Great Commission: “All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Go ye, therefore, and teach all nations” (Matt. 28:18–19). To any individual Christian who thinks he is fighting the war all by himself, this objective seems not only unrealistic, but also impossible. Like the soldier on the beach, it is easy to adopt a “What’s the use?” attitude.

The problem is the same in both cases. The man at the bottom of the chain gets a view of the objective of the person at the top. He is looking up the chain of command without the benefit of intermediate objectives. He sees only the objective of the top and the resources of the bottom.

So it is for the Christian. He may see with his commander in chief the complete objective assigned to the whole church. He may also see the smaller parts of the church, groups of believers raised up to reach a special segment of the world’s population. God has raised up specialists with limited objectives in His church.

Rather than lament the multiplicity of Christian organizations, we should rejoice that an intensive effort to meet our objective is being made. Of course, there is a danger that such groups will be filled with too great a sense of importance. If, however, they seek to occupy their own limited objective with all faithfulness, then the warfare of the church is advanced. These many organizations may be in existence, not because of doctrinal differences, but because God has given them different objectives under the Great Commission.

(To be continued on Tuesday...)

*Excerpted from Principles of War. To purchase, visit ccmbooks.org/bookstore.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Principles of War

 

In the decades since my book Principles of War was first published, many changes have taken place in the sophistication of weaponry for physical war. We now have “smart” bombs and guided missiles that are very accurate. If a cruise missile were fired from Boston, it could be guided through the goal posts at JFK Stadium in Washington, D.C.

The principles of war have not changed. Superior weapons have always had an effect on the outcome of a battle or war. However, superior weapons have not guaranteed the outcome. The morale of combatants, the reason for fighting, and most of all, the implementation of the principles of war, are the main guarantees of victory.

The United States lost the war in Vietnam because of the practical disregard of these principles. We had no clear political or military objective. We had clear superiority in weapons, training, and men. But morale was low, and the men did not know why they were fighting. If they did know, the people at home did not know. The Viet Cong, in contrast, knew where they were going and observed the principles of war. I will mention other examples of violated principles in the appropriate chapters.

In the war to liberate Kuwait from Iraq, we had clear superiority in weapons, training, and morale. In addition, we observed the principles. Ultimate and limited objectives were clearly stated. Even with multinational forces, and with different services in the same theater of war, there was clear unity of command and clear cooperation between units. The blockade of Iraq, the interdiction of the lines of communication, and the encirclement of Iraq’s Republican Guard showed clear understanding of the principle of lines of communication.

We as Christians may not have learned as much in the last twenty years as the military has learned. Even so, there are some positive signs in the prosecution of the war in world evangelism. The most positive sign is the aggressive translation, retranslation, publication, and distribution of the Scriptures in modern languages. The next most positive sign is prayer meetings for revival. Both of these are using the principle of the offensive. Other good signs are changes in mission organizations so that the doctrine of operation is not fixed. More versatility and flexibility is allowed.

However, there are a few things that we are still doing wrong. We are still using the challenge/volunteer mode of recruiting instead of teaching obedience. We are still teaching loyalty to organizations and methods that hinder obedience to God and cooperation with other units.

Many individual Christians and married couples in Christian work are emotionally and/or morally fouled up. If these people are in leadership, this affects the morale of everyone and results in a consequent nonaggressiveness in evangelism.

Our hospitals for casualties are staffed by casualties and by sympathetic but misguided people who accept the casualties as permanent casualties. People are not being healed so they can get back into battle; they either become permanent invalids, or the cure is planned to take the rest of their natural lives.

In upcoming posts, I will discuss the principles of war and how they apply to Christians as we fight the spiritual war today. If you would like to read it all at once, you can find it in my book Principles of War.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Not Our Weapons

 

Scripture teaches us the weapons we are to use in evangelism. But there is another important category for us to learn—what kind of weapons are off limits to us.

“For the appeal we make does not spring from error or impure motives, nor are we trying to trick you. On the contrary, we speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts. You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed—God is our witness. We were not looking for praise from men, not from you or anyone else” (1 Thess. 2:3–6).

Notice the things that the apostles refused to use in reaching people:

errorimpure motivestrickerypleasing menflatterymasks to cover up greed

Unfortunately, all of these are used by some Christians who claim to be doing evangelism. Avoid them! From saying that you “see that hand” when you don’t (trickery) to telling someone that they would make a fine Christian (flattery), we have not obeyed the Scripture carefully at this point.

Here are two more things to be avoided in evangelism:

Human wisdom: “For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel—not with words of human wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power” (1 Cor. 1:17).Foolish and stupid arguments and quarrels: “Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels” (2 Tim. 2:23).

*Excerpted from Weapons & Tactics. To purchase, visit ccmbooks.org/bookstore.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Everyday Holiness: Life & Doctrine

"For this reason I am sending to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord. He will remind you of my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church" (1 Corinthians 4:17).

"I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon, that I also may be cheered when I receive news about you. I have no one else like him, who takes a genuine interest in your welfare. For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 2:19-21).

 

Timothy was known for his godliness. Paul later wrote these instructions to him:

"Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely.Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save yourself and your hearers" (1 Timothy 4:16).

Your holy life and your clear teaching of the gospel is the effective salvation message. What is the life.

"Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity" (1 Timothy 4:12).

What is the teaching.

"Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching" (1 Timothy 4:13).

Life and doctrine include what you are and what you teach, what you do and what you say. There really isn’t anything else. If your doctrine does not make you more like Jesus, then it is either not sound doctrine or it is doctrine that is only in your head, not in your heart.

Paul’s instructions are simple and complete: watch these two areas closely. The result is salvation for yourself and those you teach.

Recently I was talking with a young woman who had gone to a Christian high school and graduated from a well-known Christian college. Her parents were in Christian work. When I asked her when was the last time she had read through the New Testament, she replied that she had never read the whole thing. And of course she had read the Old Testament even less. This is now a standard question I ask, and it is almost a standard answer. Christians are not watching their life and doctrine closely. So I pass the same instruction on to you¾“Watch your life and doctrine closely.”

 

*Excerpted from Being Christian. To purchase, visit ccmbooks.org/bookstore. 

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Knowing the Will of God

 

The important thing in any major decision is to seek to know the will of God. Here are a few principles from the Bible which you can use as a start to help you determine God’s will:

1.     Want to know the will of God. "If anyone chooses to do God’s will, he will find out whether my teaching comes from God or whether I speak on my own" (John 7:17). If I want to be in the will of God, and God wants me to be in His will, there is no way I will miss it.

 

2.     The desires of your heart. "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). Your desires are not necessarily wrong. If you delight in the Lord, He will give you your desires.

3.     The witness and leading of the Spirit. "Because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God" (Romans 8:14). "But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law" (Galatians 5:18). "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it'” (Isaiah 30:21).

4.     The Word of God, both in general principles and specifics. Here is Jesus’ specific statement to the rich young ruler: "Jesus looked at him and loved him. 'One thing you lack,' he said. 'Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me'” (Mark 10:21). This is not general. If it were, everyone would have to do it.

An example of the Word of God in general is, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: 'I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people'” (2 Corinthians 6:14-16). This text applies to all believers all of the time. We do not need to seek guidance about marrying an unbeliever. We already have the direction in the Word.

Here is another general statement that applies to all Christians: "Then Jesus came to them and said, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age'” (Matthew 28:18-20).

5.     Circumstances over which you have no control. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whohave been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).

6.     The counsel and opinions of your father

7.     The counsel and opinions of mature Christians. Do not seek the counsel of close friends. They are too likely to agree with you.

8.     Get underway in a certain direction and watch God open or close doors.

Next, make a list of the pros and cons for each of your options. This will help you think in a straight line.

Lastly, here are a few questions to consider:

·       Have you been effective in evangelism?

·       Would you rather build up believers or evangelize the lost?

·       Do you want to be holy?

·       What is your present profession?

·       Do you care what the world thinks?

·       Do you care what the saints think?

·       What are your spiritual gifts?

·       What are your natural gifts and training?

*Excerpted from Being Christian. To purchase, visit ccmbooks.org/bookstore.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Apologia, Apologetics & Reasoning (Part 3)

 

REASONING

There is a reasoning which is effective in evangelism. It is not apologetic in character. It is not defensive. In fact, it is an aggressive offense. It is the kind of biblical reasoning used in Peter’s preaching in Acts 2, Stephen’s preaching in Acts 7, and Paul’s preaching in Acts 17, and the preaching of the apostles in Corinth (1 Cor. 1–2).

These two books are examples of this kind of reasoning today:

• Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. This book is extrabiblical and starts with the subject of sin.

• Basic Christianity by J.R.W. Stott. This book reasons within a biblical framework, starting with the deity of Jesus Christ.

*Excerpted from Weapons & Tactics. To purchase, visit ccmbooks.org/bookstore.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Apologia, Apologetics & Reasoning (Part 2)

  

APOLOGETICS

Apologetics (singular): The branch of theology that deals with the defense of a religious faith on the basis of reason (The World Book Encyclopedia Dictionary, ed. Clarence L. Barnhart [Chicago: Thorndike-Barnhart, 1963]).

Apologetics has crept into the church as a weapon for evangelism. Today there are many books available on Christian apologetics. At best, apologetics can be useful pre-evangelism. Several things make it difficult to use as a tool in evangelism:

1. It is defensive.

2. It is based on reason.

3. It does not create faith.

4. The gospel is not normally included in it.

5. The average person does not understand the presuppositions or the reasoning used.

6. Jesus and the apostles did not use it the way it is used today.

7. When used in discussion, it tends to turn the conversation into a debate/argument, and Christians are not to argue like that.

8. It is not declarative. It does not proclaim or preach.

9. It does not deal with sin.

10. It defends the use of the Word of God as an authority rather than using the Word of God with authority.

I have no objection to books on apologetics when used as eye-openers for the unbeliever. However, there are much better eye-openers. Apologetic books are much more helpful to Christians who feel vulnerable under attack when they are accused of being irrational (although, even there, apologetics does not necessarily increase faith in the believer).

The following is an example of not using apologetics. In the fall of 1954, I was on the staff of Commander Naval Forces, Far East in Yokosuka, Japan. While there, I got to know a young naval officer whose favorite word for others was “stupid.” One day he heard me say something positive about my boss whom he had already tagged as stupid. Of course, that made me stupid, too.

Sometime later, the two of us were having a professional conversation in the Bachelor Officers’ Quarters. Over the course of the conversation, he came to realize that I knew more than he did about the subject, both from my years of experience and from graduate school. I realized that I had gotten out of his “stupid” book. At the end of the conversation, as I was going to my room, I turned around and said, “Vic, the next time I talk to you, I will talk to you about God.”

Two days later, I took my Bible and went up to his room. He was looking in the mirror and tying his tie. I said, “I came to talk to you about God. Unless you have other plans, I will stay.”

He replied, “I had other plans, but I just changed them. Sit down.”

I sat down. Vic went to his closet and pulled out a book. He sat on the bunk and opened to a page about two-thirds of the way through the book. I could see a paragraph underlined in red on the page. Vic Jensen was an atheist with a degree in philosophy from a Jesuit university. He said, “Shoot. Prove to me there is a God.”

“Vic,” I told him, “I did not come to prove God. I came to declare Him.”

“If you do not prove God, there is no basis for conversation.”

“Suppose there is a God,” I said. “He made billions of stars, billions of raindrops, billions of buttercups, and billions of people. You stand up to Him and say, ‘Show me, and I will believe.’ He doesn’t have to show you—you are one billionth! I am His representative. I do not have to show you, and I will not show you.”

He closed his book. “What is the subject, then?”

“I thought I would start with sin.”

“Sin? There is no such thing as sin! Whose sin?”

“Since you asked, it is the sin in Vic Jensen.”

“There is no sin in me!”

“Do you mean to say that you have no conscience?”

He changed the subject. “What are you going to use for an authority?”

“I brought my Bible. I thought I would use that for an authority.”

“You can’t use that,” he said.

“Why?”

“For two reasons. First, the Bible is not allowed in intercollegiate debate, and second, I do not accept it as an authority.”

“First, this is not intercollegiate debate. It is war, and the rules are different. Second, I do not care that you do not accept it as an authority. Suppose I have a two-edged sword in my hand, and I say to you, ‘Jensen, I’m going to chop off your head.’ You laugh and say, ‘You can’t chop off my head because I don’t believe that’s a sword.’ Then it’s my turn to laugh. ‘I will have your head.’ If I sheath the sword because you don’t believe it is a sword, that does not prove it isn’t a sword; it only proves that I don’t believe it’s a sword. ‘The Word of God is quick and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword, dividing asunder between the soul and spirit, joints and marrow, discerning the thoughts and intents of the heart.’ I’m going to have your head.”

I continued, “What do you think the Bible is? Fiction?”

“Yeah, fiction.”

“You mean like Pogo or Terry and the Piratesin the funny papers?”

“About in that category.”

“Do you read Pogo?”

“Oh, yeah, I love Pogo.”

“Terry and the Pirates?”

“Yeah, I read fiction all the time.”

I said, “Then you won’t mind if I read you a few chapters of fiction.”

Why do people not want you to read the Word of God to them? Because they do not believe in it? No: because they are afraid it might be true. I said, “If it’s fiction, you won’t mind at all,” and I read him the first eight chapters of Romans. He sat and listened—no quarrels, no arguments. A few days later he came down to my room and said, “Let’s have some more of the book.” I read him the first five chapters of Acts. That time I gave him a Bible so he could follow along as I read out loud. Later I read him the next thirteen chapters of Acts, the resurrection account in the four gospels, and 1 Corinthians 15.

*Excerpted from Weapons & Tactics. To purchase, visit ccmbooks.org/bookstore.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Apologia, Apologetics & Reasoning (Part 1)

 

APOLOGIA

Apologia: a defense, especially of one’s opinions, position, or actions (Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary [Merriam-Webster, 1991]).

Apologia: to give an account (legal plea) of oneself (Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible [Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1984]).

The Greek word apologia appears ten times in the New Testament. In the KJV, it is always translated “answer” or “answered.” In the NIV, it is translated “defend” nine times and “answer” once. Here are eight of the ten occurrences:

“When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say” (Lk. 12:11–12).

“But before all this, they will seize you and persecute you. They will hand you over to synagogues and put you in prison, and you will be brought before kings and governors, and all on account of my name. And so you will bear testimony to me. But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves. For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict” (Lk. 21:12–15).

“When the governor motioned for him to speak, Paul replied: ‘I know that for a number of years you have been a judge over this nation; so I gladly make my defense’” (Acts 24:10).

“Then Paul made his defense: ‘I have done nothing wrong against the Jewish law or against the temple or against Caesar’” (Acts 25:8).

“Then Agrippa said to Paul, ‘You have permission to speak for yourself.’ So Paul motioned with his hand and began his defense” (Acts 26:1–2).

“This is my defense to those who sit in judgment on me” (1 Cor. 9:3).

“At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth” (2 Tim. 4:16–17).

“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander” (1 Pet. 3:15–16).

In the first two quotations, Jesus tells us not to plan beforehand when we are brought before judges. The next three are the witnessing and preaching opportunities Paul took before Felix, Agrippa, and Caesar. His defense to the Christians (1 Corinthians 9) is mostly about preaching the gospel. The last passage tells us how to answer questions with the gospel.

The way apologia is used in the Scriptures has very little resemblance to apologetics today. Paul’s defense was an aggressiveoffense with the gospel to his listeners.

*Excerpted from Weapons & Tactics. To purchase, visit ccmbooks.org/bookstore.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships