Beverly Scott's Blog, page 4

The Spacious Life is Good for Me

A couple of months ago, I wrote about my decision to transition from active book promotion to a more spacious life. So, I have actively moved to take advantage of unscheduled and uncommitted time. This lets me enjoy the luxury of combining travel and visiting friends and family. I have added swimming to my exercise routine, breathing in the fresh air and marveling at the beautiful lavender sky of the morning sunrise as I walk to the pool. And, I have dallied in the branches of my ancestral tree and actually found some exciting results. Let me tell you a little more detail about my travels and what I found in my genealogical search. 

My Travels

Earlier this year, the allure of Italy tempted me with high expectations. I even tried to learn a little Italian, sinceI planned to go to Venice, Florence and the Amalfi Coast in the spring. I found the history fascinating, the art drew me in, the coastal beauty was breath-taking and the culture was warm and welcoming. Need I say that my expectations were met…all but the weather which gave us some chilly and rainy days. But I refused to let that dampen my enthusiasm. I loved sharing the trip with my spouse and two friends. 

Travel to Italy, Amalfi Coast

Closer to home, road trips to Southern California, the
Pacific Northwest and a flight to British Columbia provided the opportunity to
enjoy the beautiful scenery of the Pacific Coast and to spend time with several
friends and family members I haven’t seen for some time.   

Another exciting opportunity beckons in December. My daughter and teenage grandsons are volunteering with other families to go to Senegal during their holiday break to build a school. Their flights go through Paris and they asked my spouse and I to join them for Christmas in Paris. An unplanned and spontaneous adventure to combine travel and time with my family.   

Exactly what I hoped a spacious life would offer!

Treasures in the Basement

I began my genealogy journey to uncover the secrets of my grandfather’s life that ultimately led to writing my historical novel, Sarah’s Secret.  In letting go of active book promotion to create more spacious days, I hoped to dally more in other branches of my ancestral tree. I signed up for a conference emphasizing midwestern roots since I had two branches from Indiana. The conference inspired me to explore and visit some actual counties in Indiana. I still wanted to find out more about my grandfather’s family and had not been able to find documentation on-line. I’ve learned there is treasure in the musty old record books in the basements of County Courthouses. And, I was excited to find the documentation in estate records which connected my lineage back two more generations! 

Old courthouses hold treasures for genealogy buffs.

Still enthusiastic and motivated from what I learned at the conference, I have been able to find the paperwork to connect me to a Revolutionary War ancestor for another branch of my lineage. This makes me potentially eligible for a lineage society, something I never thought I wanted to do before.

Exploring genealogy is like putting together a jigsaw puzzle. It is problem solving. It makes history come alive in my own family as I learn about ancestors and what historical events influenced their lives. 

Finding My “Being” Edge

As I wrote in the blog about my fifth retirement, I wanted more “being” time. I have found opportunities to include activities I previously neglected because career, professional and desired outcomes pushed them aside. I am thrilled with “doing” outcomes. But as I recently wrote, I am looking for the whispers and the calmness that comes from days without commitments and agendas, from times when I can spontaneously go for a walk, read a book or just sit and be.  The spacious life is good.

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Book Review: “The Hate U Give” by Angie Thomas

Reviewed by Bev Scott

Although The Hate U Give is a young adult book, the story was riveting for me as a senior adult. Author Angie Thomas tells the story of a white policeman who kills a young unarmed black man with subtlety, humor, and multiple perspectives. Yes, it has some typical or stereotypical scenes. However, the book covers the controversial topic from the perspective of the black community. Further, it enables the reader to “walk in the shoes” of the young black woman protagonist named Star. This perspective could have turned into a rant about white racism. Instead, the author deftly describes how decisions made by white individuals and institutions perpetuate the racist impact in black communities.

Memorable quotes

There are some great quotes which stand out. Star wrestles with the risks she is asked to take and her loving supportive mother says being brave doesn’t mean you aren’t scared. “It means you go on even though you’re scared.” During a riot which is the community’s emotional response to the justice system, Star becomes an activist and uses her voice saying,

What’s the point of having a voice if you’re gonna be silent in those moments you shouldn’t be?

The author’s approach helps the reader understand the expressed hostility and anger. One of the comments in response to the issues of social media and the justice system is a great example:

People like us become hashtags but they rarely get justice.

Star recognizes how riots do so much damage to her community including her father’s store. Yet, she also acknowledges the serious problems that community members have long tolerated. There are voices in the community that condemn all cops, but she sees that there are good police, too.

Summary

The author has woven in multiple perspectives from diverse lives and from a poor black community. That can help people from privileged white communities to open our eyes, increase our understanding and perhaps avoid narrow-minded stereotypes. I recommend The Hate U Give and encourage not only young adult readers but also older white readers. Explore it with an open mind.

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I am Ready to Retire, for the 5th Time

I am ready to retire for the fifth time. What? Yes, I’ve already “retired” four times. The first was taking early retirement at age fifty-five from my demanding corporate position and transitioning to my own business as an organization consultant and leadership coach.

Transitions are challenging. Still I had major projects to pursue. I didn’t think of myself as retired, since I had client work and special projects. Also, I became a faculty member at JFK University in the Master’s program for Organization Psychology.

Over time, I had learned too well that I needed to organize/structure my life if I was going to be productive and manage multiple projects. I was successful at doing that…perhaps too successful. Throughout my life, I have also been committed to making a contribution and giving back to others, to my community and to the world.

Genealogy Journey

Before I left from JFK University, I created and launched The 3rd Act with a mission to help others transition to retirement. I began to slow down my consulting practice. But a long-desired project was calling…uncovering the secret story of my grandfather. Thus began my genealogy journey. 

I discovered that I needed more time, so, I “retired” from JFK University.  Then, I journeyed to the locations my grandparents had lived in search of information about their lives. Soon the genealogy project became a writing project. I “retired” the third time from my consulting practice and soon after, turned over The 3rd Act to my business partner and “retired” for the fourth time. 

A Goal Reached: Writing My Book

I wrote about launching this historical fiction writing project when I was 70. Between the research and the writing, the project was 5 years in the making. But writing and publishing wasn’t the end of the project. I had to do substantial promotion and marketing to get my precious book, Sarah’s Secret into the world. Well, promotion and marketing are not my strongest skills and after two years, I grew weary. Now I’m ready to let the baby go on its own. Since I have met my goals in writing this book. I am ready to retire for the fifth time.

More Spacious Days

I want more unscheduled and uncommitted time.  No longer am I interested in structuring and managing my time as I always have. I want more spaciousness in my days.  What would I like to do?

Dally more in the genealogical tree of my ancestors; Exercise and take care of my body; Spend more time with my friends (illness and death are reminders that we won’t all be around forever); Enjoy my grandsons before they head off to college and begin their own careers; Travel to other countries and to places I haven’t seen in the US; Catch up on reading the magazines and books that have stacked up; Take walks and hikes to refresh and re-energize in nature. 



My Purpose Changed

But what is the purpose in those wants? Where is the meaning? Am I making a contribution? I’ve discovered that my purpose in the past has been about accomplishing and producing a result. It was about doing something that made a contribution to others and to the world. I no longer care so much about accomplishment, productivity and getting things done.  Now my purpose is about being… being a friend, a partner, a companion, a tutor, a presence, a supporter, a volunteer, a contributor, a role model, an inspiration…being healthy, informed, active, thought provoking, vital and …Alive!

How have you experienced this stage called “retirement?” What tips can you offer about the transition? Are you still “doing” or have you settled into “being?” And, how do you feel about it?

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Book Review: “The Road to Bittersweet,” by Donna Everhart

Book review by Bev Scott

In 1940, the Tuckasegee River in the Appalachian Mountains overflows its banks and forces Wallis Ann Stamper and her family to flee in the middle of the night. Wallis Ann becomes separated from her parents, younger brother and older sister, Laci, a mute and musically gifted savant. She is ultimately reunited with her family. But her challenges trying to return to their flood damaged home demonstrate her strength, ingenuity and courage. In addition, they also open her eyes to the wider world beyond their land on Stamper’s Creek.

With what is left of their possessions, the family piles into the truck beginning a perilous journey to look for food, work and shelter. A friendship that blossoms between Wallis Ann and Clayton, a high diving performer for a traveling show, provides an opportunity for this singing family to perform with the show, stave off their starvation and earn some money. But Clayton’s attention to Laci brings jealousy and anger separating the two sisters and creating a family crisis.

Summary

This is a story of an innocent young teenage girl with grit, courage, persistence and competence. She finds wisdom and self-understanding through the challenges of poverty, tragedy, and family trauma. Wallis Ann is a strong character possessing qualities that endear her to me…self-reliance, willingness to work hard and a strong love and devotion to her family. At times I felt the descriptions of the trials and travails of this family were too drawn out and I wanted to move on. But, overall, the story is engaging and pulled me in the first pages.

I recommend The Road to Bittersweet.

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Sharing the Roots of “Sarah’s Secret”

My grandfather’s hidden life intrigued me. I began a search to uncover the roots of our family secrets. When I couldn’t find answers to all the questions about my grandfather in my genealogy research, the idea of writing the story as fiction began to take hold.  Sarah’s Secret is the result. I also wrote a free e-book, Searching for Family Secrets describing this search.

New Opportunities: Speaking

I have now made several presentations about my genealogy journey. I enjoy presenting my genealogy journey and addressing the questions from the audience. It is satisfying to offer my creative hypotheses and the historical context I uncovered in my research.

As I have introduced and read from Sarah’s Secret, I discovered audiences resonated with my genealogy search for family secrets. Looking for unknown ancestors, family enigmas and mysterious family connections is now a very popular pursuit. Many audiences are more interested in my genealogy journey than in the creative story I wove to imagine my grandfather’s life.

Audience Questions

The questions these audiences ask are often the very questions I sought to answer.

Why did my grandfather leave his family?
How did he disappear for over 12 years?
Where did he go?
Why did he only change his first two names?

A New Identity

I can only share my hunches, some developed based on my historical research of the time of he disappeared, 1878-1890. It was the time of the cattle drives, when thousands of longhorn cattle were driven from Texas to Dodge City, Kansas as well as further North. My hypothesis has been that he joined a cattle drive and followed it north to Wyoming where he re-surfaced in the 1890 Veterans Census and filed a land claim.

After all, there was no Google and not even Social Security numbers, and in the atmosphere of the Wild West it was easy to disappear. In addition, it was common practice for cowboys at that time to change their first names to provide a cover for their identity when they were running from the law. I believe he changed his first two names because he was at least on the run for abandoning his family. Perhaps, as I imagine in the book, he was also on the run for another serious offense such as murder.

Why Did He Leave?

I have no idea why he left his children and his wife pregnant with their sixth child. Perhaps he was unhappily married and he chose a common man’s divorce by running away. Or, as I envisioned in the book, he didn’t originally intend to desert his family but got caught in a situation that required him to either skip out or be arrested. Without knowing why he abandoned them, we are left with an image of a scoundrel or a cheat who was irresponsible and negligent.

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Grandma’s Situation

Audiences also ask questions about my grandmother, too.

How did she find out?
Why didn’t your father or his siblings know about their father?
How did your grandmother manage to raise five children at that time as a widow?

These questions I can answer based on more factual information. The depositions I uncovered in the National Archives reveal a sensitive and compassionate report submitted by the government agent who came to tell my grandmother she would not receive the widow’s benefits she had applied for. The agent describes that

“until I informed her (Grandma) of the fact, claimant declares she had no knowledge of the existence of a former wife. Her grief and tears were convincing of the truth. She begged me not to tell anyone in her home neighborhood.”

This report confirmed the basis for the secret held by my grandmother and never revealed to her children. When I was growing up and asked about my grandfather, my father knew nothing and Grandma would change the subject.

Women in Teaching

In the early decades of the twentieth century, women were not welcome in the work force. My grandmother taught school before her marriage. Since she needed to find a way to support her family after the death of her husband, it was a logical move to want to return to teaching. However, women were not accepted as teachers after they married. In fact, in many places it was against the law. Yet, I found documentation that Grandma took over a class from one of her nephews who joined the army around the time of World War I. I believe that gave her an opening in a welcoming community. She continued teaching and ultimately became the school superintendent. Although teaching is not a lucrative career, it did give her a means of supporting her children.

I look forward to future opportunities to speak to audiences and share the roots of Sarah’s Secret.

 

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Book Review: “Born a Crime, Stories from a South African Childhood” by Trevor Noah

 

Reviewed by Bev Scott

[image error]I laughed out loud, cried with sadness and felt the rush of anger as I read the stories Noah Trevor shares of his childhood and youth in South Africa. His very existence was evidence of a criminal act as the child of a white Swiss father and a black Xhosa mother. His mother kept him hidden until the end of apartheid. With humor, Noah tells of his struggles to find himself in a society in which he did not legally exist even after apartheid fell. He was not any of the legal racial categories, white, black or colored. His stories tell with painful honesty, wit and insight how he tried to fit in, cope and adapt to rejection from one group of kids to another.

His mother, an early partner in his adventures, taught him how to cope in a hostile environment. She is the star of his stories. Deeply religious, rebellious and fearless, she was determined to save her son from the poverty, violence and abuse that ultimately overtook her. Noah was mischievous and naughty, but never hateful or vicious, and frequently punished by her for his misadventures.

This book tells us about the vicious racial history in South Africa and offers a window into its cruel impact through Noah’s touching and relatable stories told with honesty, humor and insight. I highly recommend this book.

Book Review: “On the Brink of Everything. Grace, Gravity and Getting Old” by Parker J. Palmer

 

Reviewed by Bev Scott

[image error]According to the calendar, I am “old” and most people hearing my age would agree. But I have been unwilling to consider myself “old.” As Palmer says, “Old is just another word for nothing left to lose, a time of life to take bigger risks on behalf of the common good.” I am grateful to stand where I am, with the perspective, learning and experience my life has given me. Parker J. Palmer reveals his sense of humor as he points out that he is “not given to waxing romantic about aging and dying…simply know(ing) that the first is a privilege and the second is not up for negotiation.” I value the privilege.

Yet, On the Brink… is not age-bound. The insights call to anyone who is open to self-exploration, curious about the world and hungry to learn. Palmer also offers a way to find the benefits and joys in aging rather than suffering the bitterness of loss and failure. I find so much confirmation in this small book which offers us a manifesto for engaging life with awe, gratitude, curiosity and openness. Palmer invites us in to his own courageous exploration of both his brokenness and his achievement. With that invitation he calls us to confront our selves and to learn who we are in the present.

Reading On the Brink of Everything was for me like having an intimate conversation with a wise and humble friend willing to share his insights. I highly recommend this book.

Mayor Wilmot Collins

 

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Mayor Wilmot Collins. (Photo: Christian Science Monitor, Melanie Stetson Freeman/Staff)

This story inspired me and touched my heart especially since it describes the amazing accomplishments of the man who serves as mayor of the capital of Montana, my home state, and a state that holds the distinction of never before having a black mayor since it became a state. Read all about Mayor Collins here: https://bit.ly/2Bu0cjN

Wilmot Collins’s back story includes escaping the civil war in Liberia, only to end up homeless in Ghana without permission to join his new wife in the U.S. After a miracle connection, he began the arduous process of completing the bureaucratic hurdles to come to the United States.

Now almost 25 years later he is not only the mayor of Helena, Montana, his part-time job, but he also serves as a child protection specialist in his “day job”. In addition, he holds leadership positions in the community– coaching soccer, singing in his Methodist church choir, serving on the board of the United Way, joining the National Guard.

Wilmot Collins stands in stark contrast to the voices of hatred who shout their resistance to allowing immigrants into our country as we have for generations. I have written about diversity as a hope for the future and love as a public ethic. Collins’s visibility and accomplishments demonstrate hope in the potential of immigrants who give back to their communities in gratitude by “channeling their fortitude forged by tribulation into education, community work and public service.” As we hear the heated conversation, hateful slurs and unrealistic fears of immigration critics, we can remind ourselves of the love and enthusiasm of Wilmot Collins, “who has overcome a tumultuous past and is trying to make the most of his future in an adopted land.” I appreciate the residents in Montana who volunteer and offer a loving hand to welcome immigrants from African and Middle Eastern countries who have resettled there. Their actions out-shine their critics.

Hope for the Future

This story inspired me and touched my heart. It tells about the amazing accomplishments of the man who serves as mayor of the capital of Montana. Not only is Montana my home state, but it also holds the distinction of never before having a black mayor since it became a state. Read more here: “How a refugee turned mayor seeks to transcend politics of divisiveness” (Christian Science Monitor). Photo credit: CSM Melanie Stetson Freeman-Staff

About Wilmot Collins

Wilmot Collins’ back story includes escaping the civil war in Liberia, only to end up homeless in Ghana. Further, he lacked permission to join his new wife in the U.S. After a miracle connection, he began the arduous process of completing the bureaucratic hurdles to come to the United States.   

Now almost 25 years later he is the mayor of Helena, Montana (his part-time job). But he also serves as a child protection specialist in his “day job.”  In addition, he holds leadership positions in the community– coaching soccer, singing in his Methodist church choir, serving on the board of the United Way, joining the National Guard. 

Hope in Diversity

Wilmot Collins stands in stark contrast to the voices of hatred who shout their resistance to allowing immigrants into our country as we have for generations. I have written about diversity as a hope for the future and love as a public ethic. Collins’s visibility and accomplishments demonstrate hope in the potential of immigrants.

These people give back to their communities in gratitude. They “channel their fortitude forged by tribulation into education, community work and public service.” 

Regardless of heated conversations, hateful slurs and unrealistic fears of immigration, we need not worry. Instead, think about Wilmot Collins’s love and enthusiasm for his new country. He “has overcome a tumultuous past and is trying to make the most of his future in an adopted land.” I also appreciate the Montana residents who volunteer with loving hands to welcome immigrants from African and Middle Eastern countries. Their actions out-shine their critics. 

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Book Review: “Sold on a Monday” by Kristina McMorris

 

Book reviewed by Bev Scott

[image error]Sold on a Monday is Inspired by a photograph of children with the sign “2 Children for Sale” from 1948 which the author Kristina McMorris stumbled upon. The story challenges journalistic integrity, tugs at your heartstrings and offers a sweet love story. Ellis, an aspiring newspaper reporter in the early 1930’s, desperate to advance his career takes a chance on a staged photo. Casually assisted by Lily, another employee of the newspaper, who is guarding her own secret, he gets his big chance.  But guilt pursues him, and he takes more chances with his career to assuage his worry about his contribution to what happened to the children. Lily with her own burden of shame, and a need to balance motherhood and a career, also pursues a dubious path in search of information about the children. Their individual and joint efforts both separate them and bring them together.

McMorris writes a touching yet gripping story. I turned the pages anxious to learn the compelling mystery of the children. The characters are realistically developed and the plot drew me in immediately. My only criticism of the book, is what seems to me to be unrealistic illegal risks taken by Ellis and Lily. Although the country was less suspicious and legalistic than it is today, I wonder if the actions they take to recover the children would have been realistically possible in the 1930’s? On the other hand, it is fiction and a good read.

I recommend this book which I purchased at a reading by the author.