Priscilla Shirer's Blog, page 71

The Sizzling, Sassy Grand Prize Give-A-Way is Here!

 

Well. . .the day has arrived and the time has come for me to part with my sweet little Anthropologie Gift Card!

I cannot even begin to tell you how much I wish I could give one to all of you . . . then I'd plan a party at Anthro so that we could all meet up there and enjoy ourselves. . TOGETHER!

In any case, I'm thrilled to give this gift card away to a sister who I hope will enjoy it thoroughly!

CONGRATULATIONS AMBER! (AKA "azjones"). Email us at: info@goingbeyond.com. We cannot wait to get this card to you. . and thanks for your thoughtful and encouraging comment yesterday!

Amber's Post:
"I'm sad the summer series is ending. I had a great time reading the blog posts, especially in this season of my life where I've been running back to the Father after falling into this pig's slop. This blog has been a great encouragement on my life that there are other women that are going through the same struggles I am dealing with self-worth, singleness, purpose, and the like.

With that being said, Freedom Fridays were my go-to day where I probably posted the most (under azjones or Amber). It was super encouraging & definitely better to engage in than Single Ladies. :P. It taught me a lot about how valuable this season of my life is and also what I should be doing to prepare for the next season and where my heart should be. Loving The Single Life encouraged me SO MUCH and challenged me to find beautiful things about my life that will probably be replaced with marriage. It makes me so much more grateful for the opportunity to give Jesus my entire heart, something I never intentionally did in like 4.5 years of being a Christian until a month ago.

I kinda already spilled my heart out on last Tuesday's post Scottie & The Sisterhood so I won't do it again lol.

But yeah, once again, to Priscilla & the GB team, thanks SO MUCH for this series. You don't know how much it touched my heart."

- Amber Jones

The Day Before - The Sizzling, Sassy, Grand Prize Give-a-way!

I'm astounded that it is July 23rd. Granted, it might be the three digit temperatures that are making my head spin but I am simply stunned at how quickly the days are moving.

Aren't you? 

There are several reasons why I'm shocked by the fast flying summer!

1.  My cuddly little 2nd born son, who was just a toddler "yesterday", turns 8 years old today.

2.  My husband has put up with me for 13 years. Our anniversary is tomorrow.

And...drum roll please...

3.  The Sizzling, Sassy, Grand Prize winner will be chosen this evening and posted tomorrow!

Today is your final opportunity to take the necessary steps to be included in the drawing for a $200 gift card to one of my favorite stores - Anthropologie! Hopefully you were a part of our summer series and already know all about it. If not, CLICK HERE to catch up.

There were three things you had to enter the drawing and you still have time to do each one. The cut off time for entry is 5pm tonight. The winner will be posted at midnight!

Here are the three things you need to do:

Read and comment on at least one of our series blog posts. If you haven't already done this just take some time to go back and read a "Motherhood Monday”, “Wife Wednesday”, “Theology Thursday” or “Freedom Friday” blog post and leave a comment.
Tweet or Facebook about today's post and let your friends in on the chance to win the Anthropologie gift card. (Our sneaky way of encouraging you to be selfless and giving. Lol) 
Leave a comment on today's post. Simply tell your name and what your favorite moment of the summer has been so far. Also, tell us at least one of the posts, from the summer series, that you have commented on in the past 6 weeks.

Comment away, my friend! Looking forward to giving away this gift card! It sure has been burning a hole in my pocket!

You are loved!

Priscilla

Guard Your Heart

Hey there friend! So glad you’re visiting us on this “Freedom Friday”! If you’re brand new to our blog community – WELCOME! We are thrilled to have you in our virtual living room and hope you’ll stick around!

For the past 6 weeks we’ve been talking about a bunch of stuff that matters to single women, encouraging you on your journey and hopefully answering some of the questions that are on your mind.

Last week, Sean Lowe – the 3rd runner up in this season of The Bachelorette – got in the hot seat with me and gave me the inside scoop on his relationship with Emily, his commitment to Christianity and his desires for the future. If you missed the interview, don’t worry! Just CLICK HERE.

(This is Sean.)

After our meeting, I drove away (with my 3-year-old son in tow) and almost stomped on the brake in the middle of mid-morning traffic when I realized that there was an extremely important question that I forgot to ask him during our meeting. So, I emailed him later and he graciously agreed to respond to my inquiry.

I thought it only fitting to end our “Freedom Friday” blog series with his thoughts and encouragements for single men and women on this extremely important topic.

Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart for from it flow the wellsprings of life". This is precisely what came to my mind when I was watching his final date with Emily on the show. Sean mentioned being intentional about moving slowly with women because they sometimes fall hard and fast for the men they are dating. He thought it honorable for men to be careful and gentle with women’s hearts and make intentional attempts to protect them during the dating process.

I applauded.

And so, I asked Sean if he would challenge us - his sisters and brothers in Christ about the very serious matter of guarding our hearts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Sean, why is it important to guard a woman's heart?

I believe men have a responsibility to protect women not only physically but emotionally as well. Women have been created with such caring and giving hearts and it's so easy for men to take advantage of that wonderful quality. A true man will make his intentions known and will not allow a woman to give her heart over if it cannot be reciprocated by the man. This is something I learned the hard way. I've made the mistake of allowing a girl to give her heart to me when I wasn't ready to receive it and I would do anything to take that back if I could.

2. Practical ways a man can guard a woman's heart...

I think we should all date to marry. In other words, don't continue asking a woman out if you don't see marriage as a possibility. In my early twenties, I knew I wasn't ready for marriage but I would date girls who weren't aware of that fact. As each date passed, the girls would become more and more emotionally invested while I thought we were just having fun spending time together. I think it's a man’s responsibility to make his intentions known from the beginning. There's nothing wrong with just wanting to build a friendship and enjoy the woman's company.  But I think the man needs to tell her that he is only interested in a friendship. I would also recommend hanging out with the woman in a group setting as opposed to 1 on 1 just to make sure there is no confusion.

3. Why women need to be more protective and careful with their hearts...

As I mentioned earlier, women have been created with caring and giving hearts. This beautiful quality is so special and it needs to be treated as such. So often, women will give their hearts over to just about any man simply because they long for the companionship and bond that it has the potential to bring. I liken the heart to sex. Both are gifts from God and both can easily be abused. The "special gifts" God gives us tend to lose their luster if given to multiple people. Not only that but it can so often result in emotional damage as well when they are given to the wrong person. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I thought it might be neat to end our “Freedom Friday” blog series by asking SINGLE MEN to comment today. How do you feel about Sean’s comments? What are some practical ways that women can guard their own hearts and that the men in their lives can help?

While our summer series end’s today, our blogs do not! We’ll continue to be right here every single day! And remember, our GRAND PRIZE GIVE-A-WAY winner will be announced on Tuesday! So, you’ll want to stop by on Monday to make sure that you find out the final instructions for being included in the drawing!

Bless you today!

Priscilla

The “Dew” and the “Do” of Heaven

Welcome to “Theology Thursday”. Let me forewarn you, I’m talking about Gideon...again.

Maybe you are aware that I’ve been studying Gideon for a while now. I didn’t think I’d have so much in common with the guy when I started but it’s become more and more clear that we could actually be blood relatives. I mean, his actions are so shockingly similar to mine. God speaks, giving clear directions, but Gideon wants proof before moving forward. Then, not only does Gideon ask for one sign but begs for another just to be sure.

Certainly does sound like me.

You too?

Read Judges 6:33-40 for all the juicy details but here's the bottom line of it all: Gideon placed a swatch of fleece on the ground of a threshing floor and asked the Lord to cause the fleece to be wet with dew and the ground around it to be completely dry in the morning. If God obliged, it would be a sure sign that He was granting divine approval for Gideon to go into battle.

When Gideon awoke to find that God had answered precisely as he had outlined, he flipped the script and ask God to do it again - just in reverse this time - the fleece dry and the ground wet.

God did precisely that.

While my kiddos were off playing with their cousins today, I did some digging into Gideon’s second request - for the fleece to be dry while the ground was wet. I just wondered if there was any theological significance that might be a treasure chest of wisdom for you and I today.

Turns out, there is.

Fleece is naturally more absorbent than dirt. So, it is possible that Gideon suspected this to be the reason that the fleece had been wet and the ground dry the day before. Maybe the ground had just dried quicker. So, he now chooses a more miraculous test to reassure him of God’s answer.  If the ground was wet and the fleece dry - now that would be truly unbelieveable.

Before we move forward I want to remind you of something and then explain something else. First, remember that by the time we get to this whole fleece encounter, Gideon is known as “Jerubbaal” which means “The Baal Fighter”. His primary mission, aside from disarming the Midianites, is to dismantle the nation’s misplaced loyalty to the idol.

So, let’s take a closer look at what He was aiming to dismantle.

Baalism was based on a belief system that miracles were impossible. As a boy, Gideon was probably taught that God may have created everything but that it was kept functioning by the simple, impersonal processes of nature. The universe, a baalist would subscribe, was self-sustained and there was not an eternal being who was actively involved in supporting and maintaining it. While the Baalist believed that it was possible to stimulate or manipulate nature/baal to respond in a certain way, they firmly believed that the world and its happenings were independent of God’s involvement. The personal and intimate relationship that Yahweh offered was contrary to what Baalism suggested as a possibility. To them, god was a neutral, anonymous being that was not involved in the daily activities of their lives. There was no need to pray for certain things because the processes that nature put in place were set and could not be altered. To a baalist, it was possible to retain dew in a naturally more absorbent fabric like fleece. This made sense because it was nature’s way. It would, however, refute the logical process of the natural order for the water resistant ground to retain moisture while the fleece did not. This would be a miracle...and miracles didn’t happen.

The very fact that Gideon asked for the dew to fall on the ground but not the fleece was a sign that a transformation was happening in his own heart. His mind was changing about who God was and what He was capable of doing. He was no longer convinced that Baal’s way was the best way to view the world. Maybe just maybe, the “dew” from heaven would reveal that Yahweh was involved in the affairs of people and would “do” something to assure victory in the impending battle.  

Baalism sounds like such an ancient and distant religion that we tend to think our modern society has no more inklings of. But consider the things that you and I don’t take to God in prayer because we have become used to the usual processes that we experience daily. Our prayerlessness, about the ins and outs of daily living, points to the crafty spirit of baalism that runs rampant in our culture. We have been subtly duped into believing that God will not do anything on our behalf. We often live by the motto: “this is the way things have always been and will always be” and then choose not to voice them to our loving, heavenly father.

But Yahweh was not and has never been baal. He could and would intervene in a very personal and intimate way. Miracles were possible because there was a Miracle Worker. “The Baal Fighter’s” response from Yahweh would be proof of that.

And sure enough, the next morning the fleece was as parched and dry as a scorched dessert in the daylight while the glistening sparkles of fresh dew shone on the ground of the threshing floor.

I wonder what astounding miracles lay in wait of your prayers, my friend. You are a baal-fighter. Your life and mine is to be proof that Yahweh exists and is not only able but willing to intervene in our lives in personal and miraculous ways. Fight the spirit of baal by “letting your request be made known to God” (Phil 4:6). Let the “dew” of heaven reinvigorate you and inspire you to stand against this deceiving spirit in your family, church and community. Then like Gideon, prepare to be astounded at all that He will “do” for you.

So, today, tell me about some of the normal processes of your life that may have been untouched by your prayer recently? What are some of the "day-in and day-out" nuances of your existence that you've disconnected from the care or concern of God. We'll be privileged to join you in lifting those things up to God this week.

Blessings,

Priscilla

Meet Tammy Franklin! (... and last week's "Wife Wednesday" give-a-way winner announced!)

Welcome to the final installment of "Wife Wednesday"! I hope you've had as much fun as I have. We've been encouraged and challenged as wives to be exactly who God has called us to be in our role. I'm grateful that the Lord has put several women in my life who are a great example of what a godly wife looks like. I thought that there was no better way to culminate our "Wife Wednesday" blog series than by introducing one of them to you and allowing her to share some insight into her marriage.

So, meet Tammy Franklin!

She is the wife of Gospel music superstar Kirk Franklin.

       

Together, she and her husband Kirk, have reared 4 children and managed to keep their romance alive and flourishing. I've long admired their zest for life and for each other. Despite the many demands placed on them because of Kirk's thriving career, it's very clear that they prioritize each other and are intent on keeping their romance burning. Neither of them will say that their marriage has been perfect (they even took to Oprah's couch a couple of years ago and shared that) but as the years roll by, Tammy, now in her early forties, is looking better than ever and is more in love with Kirk then she has ever been. So sit back, relax and enjoy getting acquainted with this sweet, woman of God who loves her man.

How long have you been married Tammy?

16 1/2 years

What has surprised you the most about what it really means to be a wife? In other words, are there any aspects of marriage that took you by surprise?

Husbands want the wife they married, but they also want the girlfriend in you that they dated prior to marriage. The fear that we will become the nagging, roller wearing, flannel pajama wearing wife on tv is a real fear for them. My Husband needs me to compliment him sometimes (they actual have insecurities about their looks too:)) and be that same girl that use to surprise him with cute little notes and a pretty dress instead of my Mama uniform of sweats and a baseball cap.

Just the other day, I surprised him and told him to get dressed because I was taking him to dinner and a movie (a guy movie that he would like) and he got the biggest grin on his face!

What lesson has taken you the longest to learn about being a wife?

What it truly means to help my husband! We were created by the Lord to be a "help mate"! I read a particular translation that said I am to be adaptable. I didn't realize that I could also hinder him by not doing this properly! By nature most women are very Motherly, but our Husbands don't need us to be their Mothers; they need us to be a wife adaptable to them, their personalities, their needs. Quite often, we have more of a "takeover" spirit and we put the label of "helping" on it. In fact, we take over a situation and handle it the way we want it to be handled, or the way we think he should do it. I've learned for me that truly being a wife is listening to my Husband's needs, dreams, even at times, his need to vent and for me to simply listen and not try to fix it. And above all say a lil prayer.

Your husband has a larger than life career and persona. What have you done in marriage to maintain a healthy independence and self image?

I really have to credit my Mom for teaching me before I got married that it was important to have an identity outside of my marriage. I don't think she realized then that I'd be marrying Kirk because I was just a teenager when she would say things like "when you get married someday you will have to take care of you family, but you need to have you own goals and desires too." Now 16 1/2 years later it helped to have that foundation. I work out regularly for myself now more than anyone else to look good for me :) I take time to volunteer or have occasional lunch dates with my girlfriends. I've even learned to take quiet moments to read and just think by myself and be refreshed when I need it. I'm the oldest of 7 children, and my Mom took a nightly bubble bath! That amazes me! Maybe one day Ill get there!

What have you had to personally surrender for the benefit of your "oneness" with Kirk?

Not always giving my opinion on a matter!!!!!! Sometimes my Husband just needs me to listen, even when I think the idea doesn't make sense.

What do you think all single women should know BEFORE they get married?

DO NOT settle just because you want to get married! What you see is typically what you're going to get! Pre-marrital counseling is a must BEFORE you get engaged if you can, and discuss everything from finances, rearing of children to sex. The wedding takes about 45 min to an hour and then the life together begins! Put just as much priority in preparing for that life together as you do the wedding!

How do you keep friendship, passion and intimacy stirred in your relationship?

I don't sweat the small stuff any more. Silly bickering robs you of precious time. Weekly date nights, kiss passionately often, and put on something cute for bed once in a while. Also remember intimacy starts long before the bedroom, keeping the lines of communication open through out the day with cute little text gets foreplay going long before bed time. Surprise him and don't always limit intimacy to bed time or the bedroom :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Don't sweat the small stuff."

Shoot! I could have sworn she was talking directly to me! Special thanks to Tammy for giving us some insight into her life and thank YOU for stopping by today. I hope that your marriage from this point forward is better than it's ever been!

See you tomorrow,

Priscilla

PS. . . .Grateful to all of you who participated to win last week's "smell good" give-a-way! Congratulations to the winner L. Thompson. We can't wait to send you the gift! Please email us at info@goingbeyond.com so that we can connect with you!

PSS. . . You still have a chance to enter our Sizzling Sassy Summer Grand Prize Give-A-Way”; DO NOT MISS IT!

Scottie and The Sisterhood

 

Ok.  You see this little guy?  His name is Scottie.  

 

Just imagine his excited bark turning into a yelp.  Then imagine him sprinting across our path, swiftly followed by a none-to-happy Momma deer.  I thought he was a goner.

I had gone to San Antone to see my family.  Per our normal habit, Dad, me and the sisters took our 2 dogs (who happen to be brothers) out for a hike.  When we go hiking on our favorite ranch, we'll let them run loose. Now, you need to know, these dogs are approximately 6 lbs...soaking wet.  They THINK they're HUGE!  Case in point:  Scottie thinks he is big enough to chase deer.  However, since he has his rattlesnake shots and is lightning quick, we're generally not worried.  However...

On Saturday, we heard Scottie barking his normal "There's a deer!  Run deer, run!" bark.  It all of a sudden turned into a "Help!  A deer is chasing me!" yelp and sure enough, across our path sprang Scottie, quickly followed by a momma deer.  We started to get worried and considered how we might intervene but there was no need.  Mischka, Scottie's brother, bounded into sight and the momma deer was scared to a complete halt.  It seems that the deer was game for one annoying yappy dog, but not two.  As soon as Mischka joined the hunt, the deer was O-U-T.  

Sometimes a little backup is exactly what you need.

We are a lot like Scottie I think.  We try to run this life alone.  We go up against these huge obstacles that we have NO BUSINESS approaching by ourselves.  Maybe we've gotten hurt by girlfriends or we are in a season where there aren't a bunch of women around or maybe we are just busy.  Whatever the reason, we're isolated, alone and unprotected.  

But we need each other.  We need to have each others backs  Out of lover, we need to jump to each others defense just like Mischka did for Scottie.  There is strength in numbers.  

For the last 6 weeks, a bunch of you have joined our ranks here on the GB blog.  I can't tell you how many of you have made us cry, pray or laugh ourselves into a tummy ache!  Your comments have been the BEST and we feel blessed to be apart of your lives...We've become our very own sisterhood!  Friendships have been forged and relationships have been established.  You've encouraged each other, comforted each other and prayerfully lifted up each others needs.  

Bravo!  This is what this virtual community is all about!

Let's stick around and watch each other's backs as we grow into all that God has created us to be.  While our "Sassy, Summer Blog Series" is ending this week, our blog will contine every single day.  We'll still have a chance to encourage each other around a myriad of topics that matter most in all of our lives.  But I can't help but ask, what have been some of your favorite blog posts or thoughts from the last 6 weeks?  Comment below so we can ALL remember what The Lord has taught us...or maybe so we can laugh along with you!

I'm in for the ride.  You?

Love you fiercely!

Annetta

 P.s.  Have you gotten a chance to enter our  “Sizzling Sassy Summer Grand Prize Give-A-Way”?  You still have a chance to enter!  DO NOT MISS IT!

Two Things

This is our 6th installment of “Motherhood Monday”. Can you believe it? We’ve already spent 5 weeks talking about some of the ins and outs of being a mom. Hopefully, you’ve gleaned that I’m about as far from perfect as one can be. Raising my 3 sons takes all of the maturity that every mistake I make brings. And whether you’re house is filled with Barbie dolls and hair bows or swords and superhero capes, I’m sure you feel the same way. We’re all on a journey through the joyful, chaotic maze of motherhood. I thought I’d end our “Motherhood Monday” series by offering you two bits of very distinct yet equally important insight that I hope you’ll take to heart.

1.  Give Other Mothers A Break.  

I've often noticed the hurtful cycle of one mother looking down upon another because she chooses to parent her child in a way that is different or unique. One mom chooses to homeschool while the other is fine with a public education. One mom births her babies at home without medication (Lord bless her) while the other has signed up for an epidural when she just 6 weeks along. One mom decides that organic foods are the way to go, while another picks up whatever her coupons will cut down to the half price. One chooses to discipline a certain way and the other chooses a way that is distinctly different. One chooses to nurse for full year while another is appalled at the notion of another part of her body being confiscated . . . again. We should give each other a break – not trying to change each other’s methods or convince each other that our way is better. Our goal should be to applaud those around us at the playground or in our child’s kindergarten class. Even if we don’t agree with their choices, our desire should be to give them the same encouragement that is so refreshing when it is offered to us. They are doing the best they can. . . just like you are. I’m not saying we should share our methods when appropriate, I’m just saying we should judge them if, in the end, they don’t agree or choose an alternate method.

Don’t judge them.  

Bless them. 
 

2.  Be Deliberate about raising your children.                                                                          Most successful businesses have a mission statement – a declaration of their purpose and vision for the future. They don’t fly by the seat of their pants in obtaining their goals instead they set a strategic course of action in place and methodically head in that direction.  

The most important task parents will ever take on is rearing their young ones into adults that are lovers of God, considerate of others and responsible in society. Yet, so many leave this critical, lifetime task to chance and just hope for the best outcome. Why wouldn’t we take this job as seriously as a president would his thriving business? After all, the very soul of our children is at stake. Create a short mission statement for your children and keep it at the forefront of your mind when making daily parenting decisions. If you are raising boys, your statement might include a focus not only on responsibility and consideration of others, but also on learning how to show respect for women, preparing them to fill well their future role as leaders in their homes. If girls, your statement might address such themes as excellence, initiative, and responsiveness to others’ needs, as well as fostering in them an appreciation for modesty. Based on these statements, you can carefully, methodically spend these years doing what is required for these practices to become a regular routine in your children’s lives.

One couple we know, who is raising five children, included in their mission statement a deep desire to teach their kids to honor others by encouraging them to go beyond their normal responsibilities to inconspicuously do kind things for someone else. In order to accomplish this, they frequently ask each child how they can strategically honor one of their siblings—perhaps by making their bed for them, or cleaning their plate from the table instead of just taking away their own.

They also included a sentence about responsibility in their statement. So they resist the naturally parental urge to repeatedly rescue or resolve every little problem their children are facing. When someone forgets to take his lunch with him, Mom doesn’t automatically race to the school with sack in hand. When someone lets a homework deadline slip up on her, Mom and Dad clearly remind but sometimes allow the child to suffer the consequences of waiting till the last minute. If the kids break a window after being clearly told not to play with that ball in the house, they can expect to pay for at least a portion of the repair with their own money. These parents want their children to know that many of the things they enjoy simply as a result of being their children are not rights but privileges. And in order to maintain them, they must learn not to take them for granted. If they do, they lose the privilege.

The statement that this mother and father crafted is only 5 sentences but it hangs on the wall near their kitchen table and is a continual reminder of what matters most for their children’s future. They make strategic decisions to align with the crafted mission for their kids.

My hope is that you’ve enjoyed these 6 times we’ve met on “Motherhood Monday” and that you’ve gleaned something to encourage you in your mothering. Now, take it a step further by writing down a mission for your kids. It won’t take you long but will guide the next decades of your life and theirs.

 
There’s much more to come this week for “Wife Wednesday”, “Theology Thursday” and “Freedom Friday” and of course we’ll be giving away our “Sizzling Sassy Summer Grand Prize Give-A-Way” that you still have a chance to enter for!

So, “keep coming back, ya hear”?

 

Love you dearly,

Priscilla

America's Favorite Bachelor Talks Life, Love and Reality TV!

Welcome to the day on our blog specifically devoted to encouraging single Christian women! So glad that you are here.

If this is your first time on the Going Beyond Ministries site, an extra special hello to you! Make yourself at home. You are welcome to poke around as much as you’d like!

Today, Sean Lowe gives us the inside scoop about his run on “The Bachlorette” and his own personal life (like the fact that he became a Christian in the 6th grade and his favorite verse is James 4:14). It was a pleasure to meet him and, believe it or not, he was even more endearing in person than on the show. He adores his family, is committed to his faith and believes that the combination of the two is critical to the success of any marriage. I’m sure you’ll enjoy his engaging answers about being a Christian single man and his encouragements to Christian single women.

Click play and enjoy!

(Or CLICK HERE!)

 

Next Friday you’ll want to make sure you stop by “Freedom Friday”. Sean will be answering this most important question:

Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart for from it flow the wellsprings of life". On the show, you mentioned that girls sometimes fall hard and fast for the guys they date so you thought it was important for men to be careful with women's feelings. Would you share 1.) why this is important, 2.) some practical ways on how men can do this and 3.) why women need to be more protective and careful with their hearts.

I’ll see you then,

 

Priscilla

PS...Have you heard about our “Sizzling, Sassy, Summer Grand Prize Give-A-Way”. If not, CLICK HERE and join in for a chance to win!

Delete

A couple of years ago I was with a group of college-age women at a conference hosted by The Impact Movement, a ministry designed to reach out to African-American students on university campuses. When I opened up the floor for questions a shy young woman, her head hung down in personal disgust, courageously stood from her seat and asked a question as simple as it was powerful: “How do you forgive yourself?”

Every other girl in the room turned their gaze from her to me, leaning in and listening intently, totally relating to where her question was coming from, and dying for someone to give them an answer.

Are you dying for somebody to give you one?

Maybe you chose an abortion years ago. Maybe you caused an accident. Maybe you stirred up some unintentional chaos. Maybe you missed an opportunity that has cost you more money, heartache, and regret than you even want to think about. Maybe you’ve done any of a number of things that have made living harmoniously with certain others a nearly impossible task. You’re reminded of it all the time. And you can’t seem to forgive yourself, just as this girl couldn’t. Her past mistakes were almost visibly swathed around her shoulders, bearing down with the force of dead weight only a past mistake can pack. Oh, how well I knew this feeling. I have been more familiar with it than any person should be.

So, I answered her. Not because I’d studied the topic of forgiveness in seminary or read commentaries on the Biblical references about it but because I’d had to deal with it myself and tear down the crippling shame of my past brick by agonizing brick. Today, I’ll tell you the same thing I shared with her that day: the capacity to forgive yourself is personally impossible. You can’t do it. I can’t do it.

Nobody can.

But there’s no need to be dismayed or defeated over this, because absolutely no place in Scripture are we told that this is something we’re supposed to do.

Hear that again: the Bible doesn’t tell us to forgive ourselves...

...but it does tell you something else...something that can change the life of anyone who has ever made a decision they wished they hadn’t.

Everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. (Romans 3:23–24 NLT)

Bottom line: forgiveness of your sins is something that Christ suffered a terrifying death to give you and His work was so complete, He is thereby able to promise and declare to you and me, “I will forgive their wrongdoing and never again remember their sin” (Jeremiah 31:34).

And He Himself—your ultimate ruler and judge—chooses never to recall your misdeeds to mind again.

So why should you?

Actually, when you think about it, to say “I can’t forgive myself” means you don’t fully believe that what He did was quite enough, that in some strange way His forgiveness of you is inadequate. This is the arrogant, hubristic tendency of fallen humanity, refusing to accept that His gift was and still is enough.

But, yes, it is.

And, yes, it must be. For there is no human forgiveness strong enough—not even your own—that will ever free you from the torturous reminder of your offense and the cloak of guilt it lays upon your shoulders. Even if you were somehow able to find it and apply it, it wouldn’t be enough. Only through a gracious acceptance of the gift extended to you through Christ Jesus will you ever really be free—free from the bondage, free from its hold, free to see that your Savior Himself pressed the delete button for your sins when He...

Walked the road to Calvary.

Felt the crown of thorns pressed onto His head.

Took the beating.

Allowed the sword’s piercing.

Flinched against the nails puncturing His hands and feet. Hung on Golgotha’s tree.

That’s when you received all the forgiveness you’ll ever need. When He cried, “It is finished!” (John 19:30), it was done. Once and for all. He pressed the delete button on all your transgressions. Every one of them.

Even that one.

All that’s left for you now is to accept this for the glorious fact that it legitimately and eternally is. In doing this, you have forgiven yourself.

A Heart that Follows Wisdom (...and winner announced for "Boy Mom" Give-a-way!)

 

What a fun day! We get to give-a-way a gift just for wives and announce the winner of Motherhood Monday's "boy mom" give-a-way!

Lots to do. So, let's get started!

Yesterday, I can across a post by Mark Merrill, the president of Family First. It was a smart, Biblical response to the commonly used phrase "follow your heart". He suggested that what most folks mean when they use that phrase is that they intend to follow their feelings. I can personally attest to the fact that feelings are not often the smartest guides to follow. In my experience, they can be fickle and even deceptive. I appreciated Mr. Merrill's godly advice that instead of following such an untrustworthy leader, we should choose instead of lead our hearts with actions based on Biblical wisdom. This means we should decide what to do based on what we know is right even when we don't feel like it. Our feelings and hearts will most likely catch up in due time.

For five weeks now, we've been encouraging each other in many different areas of marriage; from sexual intimacy to committed prayer for our spouses. At times your feelings may have recoiled at some of the suggestions made as you've considered them for you and your spouse. Your responses have been heartbreaking and other times they've been comical as we've shared our personal experiences and encouraged each other to do what is best for our relationships.

During the week that we took the physical intimacy challenge, which involved surprising our husband with an evening he would never forget, I got a hilarious tweet from one sister who decided to join us for that 7 day adventure. While I cannot remember her exact words, I clearly recall laughing out loud while reading her comments . . . which went something like this:

"Still working on my plan but I shaved my legs this morning. . . . and that's a start!"

Yes! It is a start and sometimes . . . YOU HAVE TO JUST START! You have to make a decision to move in the direction you need to go even if you don't feel like it! So, in honor of this sister's decision to get moving in the direction that wisdom pointed her, I wanted to give away a little gift today - a gift to remind you that no action is too small, if it is pointed in the direction of obedience to God.

If there is something that you need to do for your marriage today. DO IT, even if you don't feel like. Choose to ACT wisely. . and then allow your feelings to catch up later.

I cant' wait to give this fun little shaving kit and bundle of "smell goods" away:

Entering to win is easy! Leave a comment telling me 1 step you plan to take to enhance your marriage this week even if you're going to have to go against your feelings to do it. It doesn't matter what aspect of your marriage it has to do with, just share with me the way you honestly feel but what you are making a decision to do despite your feelings.

Can't wait to hear from you . . . and "BRAVO TO YOU" for making your heart follow wisdom!

Priscilla

PS. . . Congratulations to "A. Zee"! You are the winner of Monday's "Boy Mom" Give-a-way! I'm so thrilled to send you this gift. Please email us at info@goingbeyond.com to claim your prize! Praying for you and your FIVE BOYS! (You are Super Woman!)