Maximus Freeman's Blog, page 2
December 5, 2015
Quiet Matters
Free time is a blessing and a curse, and a strange gift from the Universe. I now understand why some monks retreat to caves for years of quiet contemplation and meditation. It is in this quietude that we see exactly how far we have evolved on our journey. In the absence of distraction, we are forced to fully be with ourselves, and in these moments, we find out precisely how content we really are. Needless to say, free time is a humbling experience.
For most of my adult life, I was a workaholic, and when I discovered that spiritual maturity was possible, I redirected all of my time and energy into voraciously seeking and striving for enlightenment. Regardless of my obsession, I have always filled my every waking moment with activities. It wasn't until fairly recently that I understood why I kept myself so busy.
My job as an arborist on a Massachusetts resort island is very seasonal. The three months of summer are extremely busy, spring and fall are moderately busy and winter is painfully slow. And it was in this dead of winter that I first discovered the wonder and the horror of free time. At first, free time felt liberating -- time to finally breathe and relax and time for reflection and quiet contemplation. However, after a short period of this wondrous reprieve, the horror of "What the hell do I do now?" barreled in like a tsunami!
It was in this vulnerable moment that my true spiritual journey began, as this quietude opened the door for my Inner-Teacher to guide me through deep and honest introspection and allow me to notice and acknowledge all of the vices that were obscuring my true worth and all of the virtues that bring me joy. Free time gave me the opportunity to forgive myself, which led to self-compassion, self-acceptance and eventually self-love. Free time also allowed me to recognize my negative emotions as they arose and surrender them through The Letting Go Mechanism. And finally, free time enabled me to embark on the transformation process and the eventual embodiment of the virtues of peace.
For most of my adult life, I was a workaholic, and when I discovered that spiritual maturity was possible, I redirected all of my time and energy into voraciously seeking and striving for enlightenment. Regardless of my obsession, I have always filled my every waking moment with activities. It wasn't until fairly recently that I understood why I kept myself so busy.
My job as an arborist on a Massachusetts resort island is very seasonal. The three months of summer are extremely busy, spring and fall are moderately busy and winter is painfully slow. And it was in this dead of winter that I first discovered the wonder and the horror of free time. At first, free time felt liberating -- time to finally breathe and relax and time for reflection and quiet contemplation. However, after a short period of this wondrous reprieve, the horror of "What the hell do I do now?" barreled in like a tsunami!
It was in this vulnerable moment that my true spiritual journey began, as this quietude opened the door for my Inner-Teacher to guide me through deep and honest introspection and allow me to notice and acknowledge all of the vices that were obscuring my true worth and all of the virtues that bring me joy. Free time gave me the opportunity to forgive myself, which led to self-compassion, self-acceptance and eventually self-love. Free time also allowed me to recognize my negative emotions as they arose and surrender them through The Letting Go Mechanism. And finally, free time enabled me to embark on the transformation process and the eventual embodiment of the virtues of peace.
Life
"We all carry around with us a huge reservoir of accumulated negative feelings, attitude and beliefs. The accumulated pressure makes us miserable and is the basis of many of our illnesses and problems. We are resigned to it and explain it away as the ‘human condition.’ We seek to escape it in myriad ways. The average human life is spent trying to avoid and run from the inner turmoil of fear and the threat of misery. Everyone’s self-esteem is constantly threatened both from within and without. If we take a look at human life, we see that it is essentially one long elaborate struggle to escape our inner fears"....Dr. David R. Hawkins
The truth is that life can be very challenging! Fortunately, we now have a choice: instead of trying to avoid and run from our inner turmoil of fear and threat of misery, we can now let it go!
"Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up, staying with it, and letting it run its course without wanting to make it different or doing anything about it. When letting go, ignore all thoughts. Focus on the feeling itself, not the thoughts. Have the feeling without resisting it, venting it, labeling it, fearing it, condemning it or moralizing about it. A feeling that is not resisted will disappear as the energy behind it dissipates"...Dr. David R. Hawkins
Instead of resisting and denying that life can be extremely challenging, may we have the intention to allow (non-judgmental, non-resistance to what is) all disappointment and uncomfortable aspects of our personalities and human-life experiences.
Disappointment reminds us that we could be viewing life through a dualistic lens of right vs wrong or good vs bad. Dualism is very disruptive! If we feel disrupted, then we are probably resisting something. The sensation of disappointment reminds us that we are not practicing allowance. Therefore, disappointment could be viewed as a catalyst to transformation.
The Divine flow of life can be disruptive. May we have the intention to allow this disruption to be viewed as guideposts along the path!
The truth is that life can be very challenging! Fortunately, we now have a choice: instead of trying to avoid and run from our inner turmoil of fear and threat of misery, we can now let it go!
"Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up, staying with it, and letting it run its course without wanting to make it different or doing anything about it. When letting go, ignore all thoughts. Focus on the feeling itself, not the thoughts. Have the feeling without resisting it, venting it, labeling it, fearing it, condemning it or moralizing about it. A feeling that is not resisted will disappear as the energy behind it dissipates"...Dr. David R. Hawkins
Instead of resisting and denying that life can be extremely challenging, may we have the intention to allow (non-judgmental, non-resistance to what is) all disappointment and uncomfortable aspects of our personalities and human-life experiences.
Disappointment reminds us that we could be viewing life through a dualistic lens of right vs wrong or good vs bad. Dualism is very disruptive! If we feel disrupted, then we are probably resisting something. The sensation of disappointment reminds us that we are not practicing allowance. Therefore, disappointment could be viewed as a catalyst to transformation.
The Divine flow of life can be disruptive. May we have the intention to allow this disruption to be viewed as guideposts along the path!
November 10, 2015
November 3, 2015
Whirls
Life sometimes feels like a whirlwind, and other times feels like a whirlpool; is it any wonder that we oftentimes feel like a whirligig?
Snapshot
Here it is! This is it. This is our life; ever changing, never changing, good, bad and ugly; all of the above and none of the above...Attempting to grasp reality is like trying to take a picture of a fart!
June 15, 2015
The Mechanism of Transformation
Every person has a very unique personality that displays a variety of different attributes and each Soul resides at a specific level of consciousness or maturity. This maturity is calibrated on the Soul's proximity to the light or the dark. How can the Soul intentionally move toward the light? By practicing The Mechanism of Transformation.
The Mechanism of Transformation is a six-step spiritual maturation process:
Recognition: Noticing or being aware of emotions and intuitions, as they arise; mindfulness.
Acknowledgment: Understanding and accepting that positive reactions to these emotions and intuitions trigger trust (light) and negative reactions trigger doubt (dark); affirmation.
Intention: Purposely moving toward the light whenever possible; impulsion.
Attention: The concentration of the mind on the furtherance of the intention; awareness.
Implementation: The action step of following through with the intention of moving toward the light; execution.
Manifestation: The evolution of consciousness and spiritual maturity; materialization.
Every time a feeling or emotion arises within our conscious awareness, we recognize its presence, acknowledge the sensation and then ask the Universe to guide our intention. Once our intention is created, we shall diligently focus our attention on its furtherance through implementation, which ultimately leads to its manifestation.
We may not always be able to control our reactions to situations, but we certainly can always have the intention to react from a place of love. Going forward, it shall be our intention to shift from being unconsciously controlled by fearful emotions to consciously choosing to act on love-centered intuitions.
Our intentions create our experiences. The more attention that we direct toward fulfilling our intention, the more likely it will be implemented and henceforth, manifested into our lives.
The Mechanism of Transformation is a six-step spiritual maturation process:
Recognition: Noticing or being aware of emotions and intuitions, as they arise; mindfulness.
Acknowledgment: Understanding and accepting that positive reactions to these emotions and intuitions trigger trust (light) and negative reactions trigger doubt (dark); affirmation.
Intention: Purposely moving toward the light whenever possible; impulsion.
Attention: The concentration of the mind on the furtherance of the intention; awareness.
Implementation: The action step of following through with the intention of moving toward the light; execution.
Manifestation: The evolution of consciousness and spiritual maturity; materialization.
Every time a feeling or emotion arises within our conscious awareness, we recognize its presence, acknowledge the sensation and then ask the Universe to guide our intention. Once our intention is created, we shall diligently focus our attention on its furtherance through implementation, which ultimately leads to its manifestation.
We may not always be able to control our reactions to situations, but we certainly can always have the intention to react from a place of love. Going forward, it shall be our intention to shift from being unconsciously controlled by fearful emotions to consciously choosing to act on love-centered intuitions.
Our intentions create our experiences. The more attention that we direct toward fulfilling our intention, the more likely it will be implemented and henceforth, manifested into our lives.
Vulnerability
We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. -Brené Brown
As far back as I can remember I was a relatively happy child. In grade school I was very popular, and most years, I was the fastest, strongest and most athletic kid in my class. I was almost always the captain, and if I wasn’t, I was always chosen first for teams. I genuinely felt worthy!
All of this dramatically changed when I entered middle school. During the summer break, it seemed as though most of the other kids grew six inches in height, had voice changes and almost all became faster, stronger and more athletic than I. Now, for the first time, I was on the other side of the fence. I was a twerp! Girls towered over me and made fun of my diminished height and often referred to me as Shrimp or Midget. And to make matters worse, this was the year that boys had to take showers together after gym class. Oh my God!
My puberty was about 18 months behind most of the other kids, and of the 20 boys in the class, there were only about three of us that didn’t have “hair down there.” This quickly became common knowledge, and eventually the girls even found out. Subsequently, they added Baldy to the list of demeaning names they used to describe me. For two miserable years I was bullied, harassed, demeaned and treated with complete and utter disdain!
This is the where, when, how and why behind my low self-worth and shame; sharing this with the world is vulnerability!
To me, vulnerability is being an open book and wearing my heart on my sleeve, sharing my deepest insecurities with others in an effort to help myself and others realize that we are not alone in our suffering. In a relationship, vulnerability lays the groundwork for intimacy. When one partner shares his or her insecurities, it often creates a safe space for the other partner to do the same.
In this book I am your partner, and I am sharing with you the most intimate details of my life in an effort to create a safe space for you to do the same. I hope you follow my lead.
As far back as I can remember I was a relatively happy child. In grade school I was very popular, and most years, I was the fastest, strongest and most athletic kid in my class. I was almost always the captain, and if I wasn’t, I was always chosen first for teams. I genuinely felt worthy!
All of this dramatically changed when I entered middle school. During the summer break, it seemed as though most of the other kids grew six inches in height, had voice changes and almost all became faster, stronger and more athletic than I. Now, for the first time, I was on the other side of the fence. I was a twerp! Girls towered over me and made fun of my diminished height and often referred to me as Shrimp or Midget. And to make matters worse, this was the year that boys had to take showers together after gym class. Oh my God!
My puberty was about 18 months behind most of the other kids, and of the 20 boys in the class, there were only about three of us that didn’t have “hair down there.” This quickly became common knowledge, and eventually the girls even found out. Subsequently, they added Baldy to the list of demeaning names they used to describe me. For two miserable years I was bullied, harassed, demeaned and treated with complete and utter disdain!
This is the where, when, how and why behind my low self-worth and shame; sharing this with the world is vulnerability!
To me, vulnerability is being an open book and wearing my heart on my sleeve, sharing my deepest insecurities with others in an effort to help myself and others realize that we are not alone in our suffering. In a relationship, vulnerability lays the groundwork for intimacy. When one partner shares his or her insecurities, it often creates a safe space for the other partner to do the same.
In this book I am your partner, and I am sharing with you the most intimate details of my life in an effort to create a safe space for you to do the same. I hope you follow my lead.
April 5, 2015
Inner-Genius
Recognized geniuses may be rare, but genius resides within all of us. A primary reason that so many people fail to recognize, and therefore empower their own genius is because in the popular mind, genius is confused with a high IQ. This is a gross misunderstanding, which has arisen from the fact that many celebrated geniuses in the fields of mathematics and physics indeed have high IQs; however, in those fields, the IQ necessary to comprehend the work is a prerequisite. It would be more helpful to see genius as simply an extraordinary high degree of insight in a given area of human activity. –David R. Hawkins
I did not become aware of my Inner-Genius until I was 18 years old. Up until that time, the thought of me being a genius seemed absurd. In elementary and middle school I was an average student, and I despised reading books, as I arrogantly thought that was something that only sissies did. I was much more interested in football, baseball and any other type of rough-and-tumble activity.
In high school, my life took a dramatic turn away from all forms of genius. In 10th grade I was introduced to marijuana, and as soon as I experienced my first high, I knew that I had found my new best friend. Smoking pot immediately took away all of my fears and insecurities and made me feel invincible. Over time, the high of marijuana wasn’t enough, and this led to my experimentation with LSD, cocaine, amphetamines and any other drug that someone’s parents had in their medicine cabinets. By 11th grade, this new lifestyle put a serious crimp in my ability to study and my grades dropped off the face of the earth. By the time I graduated, my GPA was 1.2 and I was 420 out of 430 in class rank. The only reason I graduated was because my mom pleaded with my English teacher to give me a D, so that I could finish school and go to drug rehab. Fortunately, she agreed, and three days later, I entered rehab.
Rehab was a life saver! For the first time in three years, I wasn’t doing something illegal or detrimental to my body, and it was here that I was introduced to a power greater than myself. It all started one night at bed time when a counselor was turning out our lights, and I asked him how I was supposed to turn my life and my will over to a power greater than myself. He said, “Each night, before you go to sleep, get down on your knees and place your shoes under your bed, and while there, recite the following prayer: “Thank you for this day. Please help me to turn my life and my will over to you.” He went on to say, “Each morning when you get up, and get down on your knees to retrieve your shoes, repeat the prayer that you recited the evening before.” Discovering this power greater than myself was the first major turning point of my life, and this Higher Power could be viewed as my Inner-Genius!
Since that day more than 30 years ago, I have not once neglected to recite that prayer every night and every morning, and I have also not used drugs. My recovery continued with my thorough follow through with the remainder of the 12 steps, and six weeks later, I was released back into the loving care of my parents. I did my 90 meetings in 90 days, and this commitment to the program helped me to once again be a clean and productive member of society. However, after working minimum wage jobs for about nine months, I sensed that I might be destined for something different. Then I remembered the psychologist from high school that evaluated me and told my parents that I had low to moderate IQ and that the possibility of college was unrealistic. Fortunately, my parents had faith in my potential and offered to pay for me to attend the local community college for a semester. This was very scary, and challenging, as I really struggled for the first few months. Luckily, my mom was a reading and study skills specialist, and she taught me the crucial skills needed to get by. Eventually, I found my groove, and with the additional help of tutors, I was able to get A’s and B’s in most of my classes. This academic success enabled me to transfer to a four-year college, and after three more years, I walked away with a Bachelor of Science degree in Ornamental Horticulture.
With my degree in hand and my new sense of confidence, I was able to land a commissioned sales rep job in the tree care industry. It was here that I found my passion; I was a born salesman!
The second major turning point of my life occurred during a 13-week Dale Carnegie Course that I participated in back in 1995. It turns out that this was exactly what my dormant Inner-Genius was yearning for, as this course helped me to realize for the first time that conscious evolution was possible. The curriculum also ignited my interest in reading, as the course mandated that we read Carnegie’s book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. This was my introduction to self-improvement. Not only did it teach me that I was a worry-wart, but it also showed me how to transcend these fears with simple, practical mechanisms. The second required Carnegie book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, expanded on these simple life lessons. After several months of practicing these mechanisms, it became very clear that self-improvement and increased self-awareness was indeed possible. By opening my mind and heart to new ideas, my horizons were greatly expanding. My Inner-Genius was always there; it was just waiting for the right time to present itself.
It wasn’t until many years later that I realized a correlation between the evolution of my consciousness and the increased presence of my Inner-Genius. The closer I moved toward the light of the virtues, the more available my Inner-Genius became, and this eventually led to the epiphany of: Unconditional lovingness, coupled with belieflessness, opens the door to unlimited creative genius.
By unlearning all preconceived notions and conditioned thoughts, I was left with a blank slate, and this open mind was the perfect environment for the intuitive guidance of the Inner-Genius to enter my conscious awareness with no resistance. And by authentically displaying unconditional love to all life in all of its expressions, I was brought back to my natural state of true worth: a condition of perfection and completeness. This state of joy and contentment welcomed the loving guidance of my Inner-Genius with an open heart.
Wow! Imagine the magnitude that this revelation could have on all of humanity. By just being kinder and more humble, we become more aware. This profound realization has dramatically impacted my life. By practicing unconditional lovingness and belieflessness, I have uncovered boundless opportunities for spiritual evolution, as intuition now floods into my conscious awareness, in the form of creativity, efficiency, inventiveness and artistry.
I did not become aware of my Inner-Genius until I was 18 years old. Up until that time, the thought of me being a genius seemed absurd. In elementary and middle school I was an average student, and I despised reading books, as I arrogantly thought that was something that only sissies did. I was much more interested in football, baseball and any other type of rough-and-tumble activity.
In high school, my life took a dramatic turn away from all forms of genius. In 10th grade I was introduced to marijuana, and as soon as I experienced my first high, I knew that I had found my new best friend. Smoking pot immediately took away all of my fears and insecurities and made me feel invincible. Over time, the high of marijuana wasn’t enough, and this led to my experimentation with LSD, cocaine, amphetamines and any other drug that someone’s parents had in their medicine cabinets. By 11th grade, this new lifestyle put a serious crimp in my ability to study and my grades dropped off the face of the earth. By the time I graduated, my GPA was 1.2 and I was 420 out of 430 in class rank. The only reason I graduated was because my mom pleaded with my English teacher to give me a D, so that I could finish school and go to drug rehab. Fortunately, she agreed, and three days later, I entered rehab.
Rehab was a life saver! For the first time in three years, I wasn’t doing something illegal or detrimental to my body, and it was here that I was introduced to a power greater than myself. It all started one night at bed time when a counselor was turning out our lights, and I asked him how I was supposed to turn my life and my will over to a power greater than myself. He said, “Each night, before you go to sleep, get down on your knees and place your shoes under your bed, and while there, recite the following prayer: “Thank you for this day. Please help me to turn my life and my will over to you.” He went on to say, “Each morning when you get up, and get down on your knees to retrieve your shoes, repeat the prayer that you recited the evening before.” Discovering this power greater than myself was the first major turning point of my life, and this Higher Power could be viewed as my Inner-Genius!
Since that day more than 30 years ago, I have not once neglected to recite that prayer every night and every morning, and I have also not used drugs. My recovery continued with my thorough follow through with the remainder of the 12 steps, and six weeks later, I was released back into the loving care of my parents. I did my 90 meetings in 90 days, and this commitment to the program helped me to once again be a clean and productive member of society. However, after working minimum wage jobs for about nine months, I sensed that I might be destined for something different. Then I remembered the psychologist from high school that evaluated me and told my parents that I had low to moderate IQ and that the possibility of college was unrealistic. Fortunately, my parents had faith in my potential and offered to pay for me to attend the local community college for a semester. This was very scary, and challenging, as I really struggled for the first few months. Luckily, my mom was a reading and study skills specialist, and she taught me the crucial skills needed to get by. Eventually, I found my groove, and with the additional help of tutors, I was able to get A’s and B’s in most of my classes. This academic success enabled me to transfer to a four-year college, and after three more years, I walked away with a Bachelor of Science degree in Ornamental Horticulture.
With my degree in hand and my new sense of confidence, I was able to land a commissioned sales rep job in the tree care industry. It was here that I found my passion; I was a born salesman!
The second major turning point of my life occurred during a 13-week Dale Carnegie Course that I participated in back in 1995. It turns out that this was exactly what my dormant Inner-Genius was yearning for, as this course helped me to realize for the first time that conscious evolution was possible. The curriculum also ignited my interest in reading, as the course mandated that we read Carnegie’s book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. This was my introduction to self-improvement. Not only did it teach me that I was a worry-wart, but it also showed me how to transcend these fears with simple, practical mechanisms. The second required Carnegie book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, expanded on these simple life lessons. After several months of practicing these mechanisms, it became very clear that self-improvement and increased self-awareness was indeed possible. By opening my mind and heart to new ideas, my horizons were greatly expanding. My Inner-Genius was always there; it was just waiting for the right time to present itself.
It wasn’t until many years later that I realized a correlation between the evolution of my consciousness and the increased presence of my Inner-Genius. The closer I moved toward the light of the virtues, the more available my Inner-Genius became, and this eventually led to the epiphany of: Unconditional lovingness, coupled with belieflessness, opens the door to unlimited creative genius.
By unlearning all preconceived notions and conditioned thoughts, I was left with a blank slate, and this open mind was the perfect environment for the intuitive guidance of the Inner-Genius to enter my conscious awareness with no resistance. And by authentically displaying unconditional love to all life in all of its expressions, I was brought back to my natural state of true worth: a condition of perfection and completeness. This state of joy and contentment welcomed the loving guidance of my Inner-Genius with an open heart.
Wow! Imagine the magnitude that this revelation could have on all of humanity. By just being kinder and more humble, we become more aware. This profound realization has dramatically impacted my life. By practicing unconditional lovingness and belieflessness, I have uncovered boundless opportunities for spiritual evolution, as intuition now floods into my conscious awareness, in the form of creativity, efficiency, inventiveness and artistry.
The Perfect Judge
Perfectionism: Striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others' evaluations.
Judgmentalism: Making judgments about the conduct or attributes of ourselves and others; a judgment of the rightness or wrongness of something or someone.
Perfectionism and judgmentalism seem to go hand-in-hand. I’ve noticed that whenever I judge myself as being unworthy, perfectionism is usually the trigger. The behavior pattern begins every time I experience feelings of inadequacy, and in an effort to prove my worthiness, I overcompensate by trying to be perfect. When I fail to reach that unrealistic and unattainable standard, I once again feel unworthy. What a vicious cycle!
Judgmentalism: Making judgments about the conduct or attributes of ourselves and others; a judgment of the rightness or wrongness of something or someone.
Perfectionism and judgmentalism seem to go hand-in-hand. I’ve noticed that whenever I judge myself as being unworthy, perfectionism is usually the trigger. The behavior pattern begins every time I experience feelings of inadequacy, and in an effort to prove my worthiness, I overcompensate by trying to be perfect. When I fail to reach that unrealistic and unattainable standard, I once again feel unworthy. What a vicious cycle!
March 29, 2015
Self-healing through forgiveness
I forgive myself for all of the times that I have criticized and condemned myself.
Through forgiveness, I am reminded to honor and respect myself.
I forgive myself for thinking that I am bad.
Through forgiveness, I am reminded of my goodness.
I forgive myself for thinking that I am unworthy.
Through forgiveness, I am reminded of my worthiness.
I forgive myself for being judgmental.
I forgive myself for being scared.
I forgive myself for making mistakes.
Through forgiveness, I am reminded that I am human; and like all humans, I have inherent limitations and shall occasionally make inappropriate choices.
Through forgiveness, I am now able to be compassionate with myself.
Through forgiveness, I am now able to accept myself.
Through forgiveness, I am finally able to love myself.
Through forgiveness, I am reminded to honor and respect myself.
I forgive myself for thinking that I am bad.
Through forgiveness, I am reminded of my goodness.
I forgive myself for thinking that I am unworthy.
Through forgiveness, I am reminded of my worthiness.
I forgive myself for being judgmental.
I forgive myself for being scared.
I forgive myself for making mistakes.
Through forgiveness, I am reminded that I am human; and like all humans, I have inherent limitations and shall occasionally make inappropriate choices.
Through forgiveness, I am now able to be compassionate with myself.
Through forgiveness, I am now able to accept myself.
Through forgiveness, I am finally able to love myself.
