Maximus Freeman's Blog - Posts Tagged "alcoholism"
The Pros and Cons of Booze
I drank two or three gin and tonics almost every night for the past five years. Booze was my medication; it took off the edge each night, and relieved the stresses of life, and helped me to relax and unwind. During this drinking stage of my life, I often asked myself questions about it's appropriateness: is this wrong, unhealthy, and could this pattern be developing into a terrible habit; am I slowly becoming an alcoholic, or is this just my addictive personality acting up again? I'd then tell myself that it's normal, that millions of people drank every night to unwind, and they aren't necessarily alcoholics, right? Regardless of my interpretations of these stories that I told myself, I continued my drinking habit, and once a month, I even got totally annihilated!
Occasionally, when I became extra concerned about this pattern, I'd take a several day or week long break. And then every time, I would re-justify that drinking was ok and resume my medicating pattern again.
Was this drinking pattern right or wrong? The truth is that it was neither right nor wrong; it was simply what I needed to experience until I didn't need to experience it any more.
On New Year's Day of this year, I woke up with a nasty hang-over and several regrets regarding my prior night's behavior. I also woke up with a strong sense, or "ah ha" moment, that I have experienced this particular drinking pattern long enough; it was finally time to try an alternative pattern.
Now, I'm experiencing a 63 day pattern of non-drinking, and it feels very healthy, but it's still not right or wrong; it's just what I need to be experiencing right now.
To be continued...
Occasionally, when I became extra concerned about this pattern, I'd take a several day or week long break. And then every time, I would re-justify that drinking was ok and resume my medicating pattern again.
Was this drinking pattern right or wrong? The truth is that it was neither right nor wrong; it was simply what I needed to experience until I didn't need to experience it any more.
On New Year's Day of this year, I woke up with a nasty hang-over and several regrets regarding my prior night's behavior. I also woke up with a strong sense, or "ah ha" moment, that I have experienced this particular drinking pattern long enough; it was finally time to try an alternative pattern.
Now, I'm experiencing a 63 day pattern of non-drinking, and it feels very healthy, but it's still not right or wrong; it's just what I need to be experiencing right now.
To be continued...
