Evil Editor's Blog, page 366

Erick the Strange Angelic Man 3

I was working the late shift again, hoping that if I put in enough overtime and got a few results, I'd finally get bigger wings. Easy. I mean, what could happen at 3 in the morning?

The fat guy, that's what happened. One moment there was silence, the next moment there was slurred singing about Hemingway and bottles of wine on the wall, and the next moment some fat drunk had fallen through the doorway.

"Shthistherighthouse?" he slurred.

"It all depends which house you're looking for," I replied. ...

Erick the Strange Angelic Man 2

Evil stilled his shopping trolley next to the cinnamon buns.

"One for the office, one for home, and a snazzy one for when I — what the fuck?"

Beside him in aisle 13 stood a strange angelic man, who seemed to have appeared from nowhere.
"Excuse me, can I get by?"

Evil nodded and stepped back — but the strange angelic man moved forward, and their trolleys collided with a chink.

The strange angelic man gestured. But was it you go right and I'll go left or you go left and I'll go right?

Evil guessed th...

Erick the Strange Angelic Man 1

Erick walked into Evil Editor's office with a song in his heart. The last time, the woman with purple hair had stopped him at the doorway; today, though, she was lying face down in a litter of empty Southern Comfort bottles, so there was no one to stop him going straight in.

EE was incinerating a manuscript when Erick entered. He looked up, and -

"AIIIEEEEE!"

"Whoops. Sorry. Should've turned off the laser vision there. It'll be OK. Anyway, chicks dig horrifying facial scars. Who are you, anyway?...

Saturday Film Series

Feedback Request

A new version of the query featured in Face-Lift 721 is in the comments there, awaiting your reaction.

Face-Lift 722

Guess the Plot

Little Emergencies

1. When you simply have to have chocolate. When you spill lemonade on the front of your pants right before the debate with the other nominee. When you wake up in your sleeping bag and discover a boa constrictor wrapped around you.

2. When the condom breaks. When you find yourself pregnant with triplets. When your no-good louse of a husband leaves you in your eighth month. When you can't get a sitter on the day of your big presentation so you bring the kids to wo...

Cartoon 562

Caption: Steve Wright

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

New Beginning 722

I'm twelve. I'm a boy. My life is simple. I'm not in puberty yet, although the girls I go to school with are growing tits. I don't care about that. I'd rather build models and fly my radio controlled airplanes. Do you know you can build a model of Billy Bishop's Sopwith Camel and drive it into the Red Baron's biplane for $15.98? Big money. My paper route pays for the models I love to crash.

My Dad had to deliver groceries when he was a kid. Dad says he was always tired as a teenager. He was ri...

Cartoon 561

Caption: Anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.
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Writing Exercise

Write a scene involving Evil Editor and Erick, the strange angelic man.

300 words max.

Deadline: Sunday, 10 AM eastern.