Paula Wall's Blog - Posts Tagged "self-improvement"
A letter to M.E. on her 18th birthday.
Dear M.E.,
My second year in college, I couldn’t afford to go home for Christmas. It was bleak. Poverty is only good in retrospect. My dorm closed for winter break. I hid in my room, no lights, no music, no TV. The thermostat was just above freezing. I slept in mittens, cap and coat and could see my breath. Worse, school wasn’t going well. I’d changed majors two or three times and still didn’t have a clue. I knew I wanted to write but I also wanted to eat. College was just a meal ticket, but I still wanted a job I liked, where time spent actually made a difference.
I was in the lounge digging in the couch cushions for change on Christmas Eve when I saw a flashlight and panicked. Turns out, there was a small band of girls sneaking around just like me. We pooled our pennies, raided the vending machines and sat around the blinking Christmas tree talking about life. One of the girls gave me a battery for my flashlight as a Christmas gift. I’d never met any of these girls before but by the end of the night, I knew them, they knew me, and more importantly, I knew myself.
I felt my way back to my room, sat down in front of a candle, and wrote a road map for my life, a list of everything I wanted to do, be and have. Some things were a cliché. I wanted to jump out of plane, climb a mountain, drive from coast to coast. I wanted to own a small self-sufficient cabin by a creek on 100 acres of woods. I wanted to have enough money that I never had to think about money. Some things defined my life. I wanted to be a citizen of the world. I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to make a difference. Some things were personal.
So far, of the twenty-two things on my original list, I’ve done twenty. Bill says my only mistake was that I didn’t dream big enough. I say, life isn’t over.
M.E., I have complete faith that if you want something badly enough, you’ll find a way to make it happen. However, since my assignment was to offer you wisdom, I offer this:
If you don’t know where you’re going, you’re never going to get there.
Life is a canvas. Every decision leaves a mark. You can always add more paint, but you can never take it back. You can cover up the black smears, but they will always be there, bleeding through, dulling the brilliance. So, before you dip your brush onto the palette, decide the portrait you want your life to become. Decide what you want in your life and, equally important, what you don’t want.
The biggest mistake most people make is the person they choose as their mate. Before you give your love to someone, ask yourself, will this person help me get where I’m going? Make them ask the same. If you keep someone from their greatest good, it isn’t love.
Happy 18th Birthday, sweetheart! I have no doubt your life is going to be a masterpiece.
My second year in college, I couldn’t afford to go home for Christmas. It was bleak. Poverty is only good in retrospect. My dorm closed for winter break. I hid in my room, no lights, no music, no TV. The thermostat was just above freezing. I slept in mittens, cap and coat and could see my breath. Worse, school wasn’t going well. I’d changed majors two or three times and still didn’t have a clue. I knew I wanted to write but I also wanted to eat. College was just a meal ticket, but I still wanted a job I liked, where time spent actually made a difference.
I was in the lounge digging in the couch cushions for change on Christmas Eve when I saw a flashlight and panicked. Turns out, there was a small band of girls sneaking around just like me. We pooled our pennies, raided the vending machines and sat around the blinking Christmas tree talking about life. One of the girls gave me a battery for my flashlight as a Christmas gift. I’d never met any of these girls before but by the end of the night, I knew them, they knew me, and more importantly, I knew myself.
I felt my way back to my room, sat down in front of a candle, and wrote a road map for my life, a list of everything I wanted to do, be and have. Some things were a cliché. I wanted to jump out of plane, climb a mountain, drive from coast to coast. I wanted to own a small self-sufficient cabin by a creek on 100 acres of woods. I wanted to have enough money that I never had to think about money. Some things defined my life. I wanted to be a citizen of the world. I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to make a difference. Some things were personal.
So far, of the twenty-two things on my original list, I’ve done twenty. Bill says my only mistake was that I didn’t dream big enough. I say, life isn’t over.
M.E., I have complete faith that if you want something badly enough, you’ll find a way to make it happen. However, since my assignment was to offer you wisdom, I offer this:
If you don’t know where you’re going, you’re never going to get there.
Life is a canvas. Every decision leaves a mark. You can always add more paint, but you can never take it back. You can cover up the black smears, but they will always be there, bleeding through, dulling the brilliance. So, before you dip your brush onto the palette, decide the portrait you want your life to become. Decide what you want in your life and, equally important, what you don’t want.
The biggest mistake most people make is the person they choose as their mate. Before you give your love to someone, ask yourself, will this person help me get where I’m going? Make them ask the same. If you keep someone from their greatest good, it isn’t love.
Happy 18th Birthday, sweetheart! I have no doubt your life is going to be a masterpiece.
