Dan Piraro's Blog, page 13

September 2, 2010

Cheeses Saves

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Holy Family.

Today's theme is religion as all but the too-dense-to-be-reading-this-blog can easily see. As a vegan, I hate to promote any good news about cheese, but this pun was too much fun to pass up so I made an exception. If this were the shape of the folks who pester you at home you could answer the door with a giant cracker and scare the hell out of them.

Speaking of Hell, here's a ditty from the archives, from December of '96. This cartoon was requ...
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Published on September 02, 2010 07:15

September 1, 2010

Self-Loathing Baboon Photo

Bizarro is brought to you today by Vacation Surprises.

Here are three jokes I really like; two new ones and one from 1998.

The basic idea for the baboon joke was sent to me by a reader. I really wish I'd thought of it. So perfect. My wife, CHNW, had heart surgery when she was 20 because one of her valves had been eaten away by a random infection. She needed to have the valve replaced and was offered either a mechanical one or a pig's valve. As regular readers know, she's an avid animal rights a...
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Published on September 01, 2010 09:59

August 31, 2010

Hair, Dating, Death

Bizarro is brought to you today by the 11th Commandment.

I'm back from my vacation and gosh darn it's good to see you. If I discover any cool pics from my trip, I'll be sure to post them. Just went to Florida to hang out with CHNW's dad, though, so it was pretty chill. It's really rare that I can sit around for a few days and do nothing.

I have a business trip out west next week, so I'm really slammed with deadlines. In addition to my regular unrelenting 7-cartoons-a-week schedule, I've got to ...
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Published on August 31, 2010 09:08

August 24, 2010

Men, Women, Honey, Apes

Bizarro is brought to you today by Extra Protection.

I'm taking some time off from the real world so I'll not be posting again until next Tuesday. I'll miss you and will think of you daily.

In the meantime, here's a passel to remember me by. I like the distinguished older gentlemen chatting up the young chippy on the subway. Not drawn from life, but I'm sure this has happened. Just about anything anyone can dream up happens daily somewhere in NYC.

"My eyes are up here" seems to be a popular phra...
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Published on August 24, 2010 10:01

August 23, 2010

God & Family

Bizarro is brought to you today by Important Information.

One day I was tweeting something and I thought it might be fun to open up a new Twitter account under the name "God" and tweet stuff like this. The name had already been taken, of course, probably about 18 seconds after Twitter was invented. I don't follow God on Twitter so I can't say what he/she is using it for. Other examples of what I might have tweeted as God:

Just cured a guy of leprosy, gave about 7 million other people cancer.

I c...
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Published on August 23, 2010 10:55

Music, Animals, Lawn

This past Saturday evening was our Sean Lennon concert at Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary. It was "far out," as the kids say.

Sean's band is called The Ghost of a Saber Tooth Tiger and consists of him and his lady friend, Charlotte Kemp Muhl. Sean plays guitar and sings, Charlotte plays just about everything else in the world and sings, too. The surprising thing is that in spite of being a gorgeous model, she's actually really good. Guitar, bass, accordion, dingy dongy bell thing, and banjo, s...
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Published on August 23, 2010 10:06

August 21, 2010

Shoes,Cake,Shoes

Bizarro is brought to you today by Midnight Snacks.

If you've noticed my face beaming this morning it is because I'm really proud of this ant joke. Ants aren't particularly afraid of guns but threaten them with a shoe and they'll do almost anything you ask. The only fictional part of this cartoon is that ants don't have money. I wish they did, because with all the shoes I have I could get rich.

I've written a couple of ant jokes lately, the next one appears in few weeks, and I feel as though t...
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Published on August 21, 2010 06:25

August 19, 2010

Asses, Death, Tornadoes

Bizarro is brought to you today by Fun Summer Activities for Kids.
When I was a kid, after living in Oklahoma for a few years, we moved to Spokane, Washington. My family and I were all shocked by how many people thought that Oklahoma was still just cowboys and Indians. (It's not)

The two angry letters I received last week told me that this cartoon struck a couple of Argentinians the same way. They assumed that I was implying that everyone in Argentina dresses like the Frito Bandito and drags a ...
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Published on August 19, 2010 10:32

August 17, 2010

Birds and Grief

Bizarro is brought to you today by Forgotten Fashion.

Today's offerings are a couple of cartoon ideas from friends. The first, the fat pigeon in the parking lot of some random fast food place, was from Rey, my good friend and life coach. Any time I have a question about something important in my life, I ask Rey what he thinks I should do. Then I do the opposite. Works every time, couldn't ask for a better life coach.

The second is from the infamous Richard Cabeza, who has the funniest name in t...
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Published on August 17, 2010 15:48

August 15, 2010

SUNDAY PUNNIES












(To see this picture get big, click on Vincent's Nose)

I usually post cartoons on this blog a week after they've appeared in the paper, but today's cartoon is LIVE. Yes, unbelievable as it may be, the cartoon you see here is the exact one that appears in papers all over the world right this second! Thank you, Thomas Edison!

This Sunday Punny is #8 in the series (click here to see earlier ones!) If YOU have a pun that is original and interesting, leave it in the comments section of this blog and...
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Published on August 15, 2010 08:49

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