Dan Piraro's Blog, page 10

WISH I'D THOUGHT OF THIS

Just when I thought ventriloquism was corny and old hat...

Kryptonite Bulb Seuss

Bizarro is brought to you today by TONIGHT!

Wow, what a super bonus fun pack I have for you today! Our first illustration is an old header panel that I found in the archives. These things appear on the left side of my Sunday comic in some papers, so most people never get to see them. I also used this character (Psychic Salmon) on my website for a goofy fortune-telling page. Check it out here.

Now let's talk about this groovy Superman cartoon. I love it. The self-congratulatory nerd who has overcome Superman with his 99 cent phone app makes me laugh. And laughing is good. At the comedy gig I did last night I met an actress who is starring in the strange, controversial horror film, The Human Centipede, and has therefore been called upon to go to fantasy and comic conventions to publicize it. Some of her fans are even creepier than the movie.

This Edison cartoon garnered an email from a reader who said that Edison did not invent the light bulb, Tesla did. I know that Tesla was a genius on Edison's level, perhaps beyond, worked for Edison for a time and invented some things that Edison not only took credit for but never paid for, then went on to an illustrious career of his own. But I'm not sure the light bulb was one of those things. The electric motor that we still use all over the world today was Tesla's, that's all I can say for sure. If I had the stamina and motivation to look it up on Wikipedia, I could probably find the answer but it is Saturday morning and I'm feeling lazy. Either way, it's a cartoon not a history lesson, so Edison works for my purposes.

Lastly, is this odd Sunday cartoon from 2000, wherein I parody Seuss. I've been a huge fan of Dr. Seuss since I was learning to read and had a blast concocting this poem and drawing the characters. I thought you might enjoy having a look. If I was wrong, please don't say anything. It might hurt my feelings.

Have a weekend of grandeur, my friends.

OUR SUNDAY DATE

Boys, girls, men, women, undecided,

If you're like me, you're thinking, 'what can I do this Sunday that would be fun, rewarding and delicious?' The answer is only three words away: Come to Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary's annual Thanksliving event!

Here's what you get:
1. To wander around the farm on a beautiful fall day and see/touch the funny/cute animals. Including big, weird turkeys walking around among the guests.
2. To hear some people talk and play music in a big, comfy, heated tent, including some comedy stylings and cartoons by yours, truly.
3. To eat a many-course feast of world-class food while you're sitting comfortably in a chair and not cooking or cleaning up afterward.
4. To meet nice people, like me and CHNW, and hear us say how great it is that you came.
5. A silent auction and raffle with a lot of amazing products donated by amazing people and companies.
6. The warm heart-cockle feeling of knowing that you donated to help rescue and care for some jolly critters who really appreciate it.

Read more, buy tickets, come see us here.

What Came Before

I wanted to share this interesting video by a brilliant animator, Nina Paley. This is part of a series of work she is doing to help reframe the debate about copyright issues. This short film has a lot to say about religion and other forms of human creativity.

Foot Baseball Guano

Bizarro is brought to you today by Lifesaving Fashion.

The gig at Caroline's last night went well, thanks to those of you who came out on a chilly Wednesday night. A few of us headed over to a bar off Times Square afterward for a few drinks; a good time was had by all. Here's a pic from the gig. Not very interesting, I know, but stand-up comedy isn't a particularly visual art form. Maybe this one of me and my mom is better.

Today I get to stay home, which I'm thrilled about. I had to run errands yesterday then get to that show, so I didn't get as much done as I should have. Tomorrow night I'm performing at Bowery Poetry Club (I'll be reading Homer's Iliad and Odyssey in their entirety, which will take in excess of 27 hours not counting bathroom breaks, if my calculations are correct.) Then I have to go out of town this weekend and next weekend, too, so my deadlines are threatening and I'm worried I am in for some late nights.

So let's make it a short post: Shoot yourself in the foot/aim higher. I like the gag, the art is kind of dull, but whatever.
The baseball joke is timely, the pros are in the playoffs right now. I often wonder what those guys are talking about on the mound... "You're sucking, man, if you don't stop throwing puffballs, I'm going to take you out of the game." "Oh, my mistake. You want me to throw it so they don't hit it so much? But that makes the game boring for the fans and it's already a pretty boring sport."

Lastly, here's a cartoon that ran on this day in 1996. I'm not great at math, but that's over ten years ago!

WILL FRANKEN SATURDAY IN L.A.

Since my last recommendation that you folks go to see Will Franken worked out so well for so many of you in the SF Bay Area, here's another recommendation for those of you in Los Angeles:

WILL FRANKEN
FULL-ON THEATRICAL ONE-MAN SHOW!!!! LIGHTS, SOUNDS, EVERY-MFING-THING
THEATRE ASYLUM
6320 SANTA MONICA BOULEVARD, LOS ANGELES
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 9th (JOHN LENNON'S BIRTHDAY)
8pm IN THE EVENING TIME!
$15 ($5 off with password "FRIEND")

Buy the tickets online:

http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/130151

Just as before, you're going to want to see this guy before you die, preferably this Saturday. I guarantee he's like no other performer you've seen. Here's a clip with a warning:

THIS CLIP CONTAINS CONTROVERSIAL SUBJECT MATTER AND WORDS YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T LIKE YOU TO USE. VIEWER DISCRETION AND VOLUME CONTROL ADVISED.

Crime and Sniffing

Bizarro is brought to you today by Other Cool Guys With Hats.

Good lord, this is a busy week at Bizarro International Headquarters. I'm doing a comedy set at Caroline's on Broadway tomorrow night, then Thursday is my birthday (hit "Donate" button at right, send money), then Friday night I'm one of the judges at Literary Death Match (a really unusual show full of improv, you'll likey), then Saturday morning I have to bounce (the young people use this word to mean "go") up to Woodstock Sanctuary to MC our annual Thanksliving dinner on Sunday.

Maybe this don't sound so busy to youse guys, but I normally work 8 or 10 hours each day, seven days a week to get all the crap done that is necessary to keep Bizarro Headquarters afloat. As they say in Alabama, I'm as busy as a racist at a hip-hop festival.

I usually celebrate my birthday each year by dressing like a hobo and hanging around the grounds of the governor's mansion, but this year I'm going to ignore it entirely and stay home. CHNW will likely make my favorite dinner (salt soup!) and we'll watch reruns of Hogan's Heroes. Ja wohl!

To come see me at Caroline's, click here for info.
To come see me at Literary Death Match, click here for info.
To see me at Woodstock Sanctuary, click here but it's sold out so sorry.

The bummer is that this weekend is also the New York Comic Con, which I'd like to drop into but probably won't have time.

Lastly, the old cartoon from my archives today is one that appeared when most people only saw my cartoons in actual newspapers. It doesn't work so well on the Interwebs, but feel free to lick your finger and try it. My favorite part is the last headline on the bottom of the front page. Click the image to read it more big.

COMEDY SHOW

Have you waited all your life to see me do stand-up at Caroline's on Broadway? If so, tomorrow night, Wednesday, October 6, 2010, 9:30pm is your big fat chance. Details below, see you there.

SHOW INFO

Insider tip: ** Make advanced reservations - 212-757-4100 - with code "CHEAT" for super duper cheap tickets **

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SUNDAY PUNNY

(click on the image above to make it like a big thing)

GOT AN IDEA FOR A SUNDAY PUNNY? LEAVE IT IN THE COMMENTS SECTION OF THIS POST!

I'm looking for puns I haven't heard before, things that are unusual, odd, and most of all, funny. I can't use all the ones people send in, but I appreciate every entry, so give it a shot. Please keep in mind that you will not receive any compensation for the joke and that I'll own the copyright to it once it is used. If you want to have a little credit line at the bottom, tell me what to use. Nothing too long, please!

Thanks!

Colorwheel of Fortune

(Kids! Be the first in your local gang to click on the image above and see it BIG!)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Birth of a Nation.

If you wake up enough to crawl over to a window and take a peek out the window, you may notice it's the weekend. That can mean only one thing on this blog – a Sunday comic post. But wait, today I've posted TWO Sunday comics! One from now and one from the past. Yes, this blog has time-travel capabilities.

The first difference you may notice in these cartoon is the pictures and captions are completely different. That's because I try (with varying success) not to copy myself. But look closer and you'll see deeper differences. Like color. In the cartoon above, the colors are nice. In the cartoon below, they are bad, ugly, hideous, flat, brash, rotten, crappy, garish, heinous, horrific, vomitous, nauseating, (consult Thesaurus to continue.)

That's because this older cartoon was drawn in 1999, just before I learned to color my cartoons on computer, instead of the old-fashioned method used by everyone from the turn of the nineteenth century until the computer age, designating each area with a number that represents the percentage of each of the available colors: red, yellow, blue, black. It was primitive and lord only knows how we managed in those days. We may as well have been coloring them with sticks dipped in plant dies in a log cabin by candlelight next to Abe Lincoln.

I do, however, like the line work in the older cartoon. Check out the hair of the victim's wife at far right, the one in the calamitous chartreuse outfit. I dig those curls.

A bit of fun backstory: I got an email from the offices of Wheel of Fortune (WoF, as we hardcore fans call it) and they liked this cartoon so much they would like an autographed copy to frame for their offices. What an honor. I wrote a book in the mid-90s about a book tour I took which was funded by readers and during which I stayed in their homes. In this book, "Bizarro Among the Savages," my driving force was spiritual advice given me by Pat Sajak. It was a true story. To my great dismay, no one from Sajak's office, or those of WoF ever contacted me about it. But then, the greatest spiritual leaders always prefer to remain in the background.