David Hadbawnik's Blog, page 6

Like

We like

what we like.

There is no way to know

what we like till

we see it. So

surprise us. Could be April

and not sweet rain but snow

blowing down wet soot

through the bare

branches. Make us

laugh. Inspire us

to such feelings as seem

appropriate to the matter.

We don’t care whether it’s cut

into lines or comes in

blocks of prose.

Make us cry.

Face

The face you wear before

waking up, woken by

the twinge of a nipple,

the baby’s cry an awareness

of loss. You are missing

something. Not

something, you are

what’s missing. The face

you wear before anyone

sees you. Before

you are anyone, seeing.

Talisman

I thought I had escaped death

that one time and that

other time, but it hung

about me a talisman

in the shape of a toad.

It is important to note

I had two arms, two legs

the full use of them.

Sunlight funneled down

a long corridor, I had

the ability like anyone

to move towards it

Body

I stand perfectly still and wait

for my body, all day

if I have to, listening

to those who whisper

my name, Jesus

Allah and the others

who have it all wrong,

we are all of us sinners

and none of us are

any different whether we

cover ourselves in silver

or gold or make it

all up as we go

Double

My double is not out there

but right here, feeding

quarters into a meter

be careful I want to

tell her don’t drop any

this is fabliaux

wherein

you dip the length

of a horn solo

to save the falling

woman only she’s not

a woman she’s James

Franco posing as

Cindy Sherman posing

as me

Delay

April 10

Delay

the only thing standing

between us delay

what you said out of

muscle memory how

my body moves when

I think to curl

around another

in love is only

delay the illusion

of standing still or

hoping to stop what

is always moving

Question

April 9

Question

got down from the hood of the car

she was due in Australia

gold dust smearing her skin

Question

they said

the light is shit

let’s try this one more time

the glassy hour that

flashes high on a woman’s back

Question

her voice

a thick scar a daguerreotype

it can’t get any better

than it is, was

ever

Path

April 8

I see myself walking on

a path but there is

another path deep

in the trees I want

to be on but cannot

see the way through, then

see myself walking on

both paths at once not quite

in a parallel way but

as if I had lost something

or time had become too much

not a shadow, both

shadow and not

Love

April 7

I kneel, crawl, worship

Love

for I am Love or

I hear Love

or at least I remember it, what

it felt like alone

in a room waiting

to be found before

words came and gave everything

body, I remember

how to put Love

together one limb

at a time, how to

give it that name

From the Small Press Book Fair

Part of my haul from the book fair. I’ve been looking for that Lew Welch book for at least 15 years.

Aaron Lowinger reading at Sweetness 7 after the fair

Jen Tynes, Shanna Compton, Amanda Montei after the reading

Had a great time at the fair — spent more money on books than I brought in, as always (and could have easily spent more). Then hosted a wonderful reading at Sweetness 7 afterwards. Not just saying this because I emceed: I was blown away by all seven of the readers, for different reasons. It was pretty great.

*

April 6

Thank you for wanting me

across the table, across

centuries, so many nights

go by between likenesses

but then it hits in the small

of the back, the back

of the knee, that rhythm

all ice and awkwardness

and look how clear

the sky is, it shouldn’t be

this easy