Tony Noland's Blog, page 8
April 11, 2015
J is for Julep
You might have thought that juleps came in only one flavor i.e., mint. In fact, a julep is any sort of fruit- or herb-infused cocktail, usually sweetened.
If you've never had one, you'll be surprised at how refreshing a mint julep can be. Crush the fresh mint leaves in the bottom of your glass, splash in the bourbon, as much simple syrup as you like and fill with crushed ice. Stir for a while before the first sip. You could strain it all off into a highball glass, or (as I do) sip straight from the muddling glass. It's a bit like sweet mint tea, with a nice, high-noted kick.
Here's this, though: you don't have to use mint.
Try crushing lemon balm leaves and using light rum. (Lemon balm is almost as easy to grow as mint.) Try crushing a rosemary sprig and using plum brandy. Or crushing some peaches and cinnamon sticks and using dark rum. Or go truly crazy and crush a few fresh basil leaves and use gin.
Instead of the simple syrup, use a bit of molasses. Or honey.
If you ever wanted a reason for an herb garden, the julep is a good one.
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Landless by Tony Noland. If you like the blog, try one of the books.
If you've never had one, you'll be surprised at how refreshing a mint julep can be. Crush the fresh mint leaves in the bottom of your glass, splash in the bourbon, as much simple syrup as you like and fill with crushed ice. Stir for a while before the first sip. You could strain it all off into a highball glass, or (as I do) sip straight from the muddling glass. It's a bit like sweet mint tea, with a nice, high-noted kick.
Here's this, though: you don't have to use mint.
Try crushing lemon balm leaves and using light rum. (Lemon balm is almost as easy to grow as mint.) Try crushing a rosemary sprig and using plum brandy. Or crushing some peaches and cinnamon sticks and using dark rum. Or go truly crazy and crush a few fresh basil leaves and use gin.
Instead of the simple syrup, use a bit of molasses. Or honey.
If you ever wanted a reason for an herb garden, the julep is a good one.
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Help keep the words flowing.
Landless by Tony Noland. If you like the blog, try one of the books.
April 10, 2015
I is for Irish Coffee
Could there be a more welcome marriage than that of alcohol, coffee, and sugar? Creamy and sweet, awash with the richness of heavy cream that belies the double bite of Jameson's and Jamaica Blue Mountain, Irish Coffee is the fulfillment of every dream of what a situationally perfect drink could be.
Think back, my friends: how many of your pub crawls have threatened to bog down in the wee hours, purely because fatigue, intoxication, and low blood sugar cause the revelers to stay on their stools instead of dancing with the crowd? Too much convivial beer, too much obvious tequila, not enough of the finer things in life?
I'm sure you know the cure for the 2 A.M. slows as well as I do: a big platter of fried mushrooms and a round of Irish Coffees. It feeds the soul even as it fuels the body, giving wings to desire and renewing the promise of every great pub crawl: "Sunrise is in three hours - let's go!"
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Landless by Tony Noland. If you like the blog, try one of the books.
Think back, my friends: how many of your pub crawls have threatened to bog down in the wee hours, purely because fatigue, intoxication, and low blood sugar cause the revelers to stay on their stools instead of dancing with the crowd? Too much convivial beer, too much obvious tequila, not enough of the finer things in life?
I'm sure you know the cure for the 2 A.M. slows as well as I do: a big platter of fried mushrooms and a round of Irish Coffees. It feeds the soul even as it fuels the body, giving wings to desire and renewing the promise of every great pub crawl: "Sunrise is in three hours - let's go!"
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Help keep the words flowing.
Landless by Tony Noland. If you like the blog, try one of the books.
April 9, 2015
#AtoZChallenge 2015: Cocktails
This page will serve as a handy index to all of my cocktail posts as part of the 2015 A to Z Blogging Challenge. Enjoy!
A is for Absinthe B is for Bloody Mary C is for Caipirhin a D is for Daiquiri E is for Eggnog F is for Fuzzy Navel G is for Gimlet H is for Harvey Wallbanger I is for J is for K is for L is for M is for N is for O is for P is for Q is for R is for S is for T is for U is for V is for W is for X is for Y is for
Z is for
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A is for Absinthe B is for Bloody Mary C is for Caipirhin a D is for Daiquiri E is for Eggnog F is for Fuzzy Navel G is for Gimlet H is for Harvey Wallbanger I is for J is for K is for L is for M is for N is for O is for P is for Q is for R is for S is for T is for U is for V is for W is for X is for Y is for
Z is for
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H is for Harvey Wallbanger
This one is a throwback to the late 1970s. Thanks to excessive pop culture references on "The Love Boat", "Three's Company", "Barney Miller", and "Welcome Back Kotter", the Harvey Wallbanger became a running joke. If Cutty Sark on the rocks was for a tough guy like Mannix, then the Harvey Wallbanger was for a schlub like Michael Stivic.
By the time I first ordered one at a bar (well after the 1907s were blessedly in the rear view mirror), the Harvey Wallbanger was like a mother-in-law joke told by a borscht belt comic making his twelfth appearance on the Johnny Carson show. I had an urge to satisfy a lingering curiosity about the drink. I did, but it was disappointing. To be honest, I couldn't taste the difference between a Harvey Wallbanger and a regular screwdriver. The galliano added no particular flavor that I could discern.
Upon reflection, maybe that was the whole point. Adding a jolt of a sweet, 80 proof liqueur would up the impact of the drink without upping the bite of the vodka or changing the flavor of the orange juice much.
The drink with the funny name that gets you drunk quick. Behold the Harvey Wallbanger - may it rest in peace.
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Landless by Tony Noland. If you like the blog, try one of the books.
By the time I first ordered one at a bar (well after the 1907s were blessedly in the rear view mirror), the Harvey Wallbanger was like a mother-in-law joke told by a borscht belt comic making his twelfth appearance on the Johnny Carson show. I had an urge to satisfy a lingering curiosity about the drink. I did, but it was disappointing. To be honest, I couldn't taste the difference between a Harvey Wallbanger and a regular screwdriver. The galliano added no particular flavor that I could discern.
Upon reflection, maybe that was the whole point. Adding a jolt of a sweet, 80 proof liqueur would up the impact of the drink without upping the bite of the vodka or changing the flavor of the orange juice much.
The drink with the funny name that gets you drunk quick. Behold the Harvey Wallbanger - may it rest in peace.
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Landless by Tony Noland. If you like the blog, try one of the books.
April 8, 2015
G is for Gimlet
Like most cocktails, your mixlogist can adjust your gimlet to suit your taste. A clean, light gin like Gordon's will give you a light finish on the palate. A more aggressive gin like Bluecoat will give a bit more bite with each sip.
You can use straight lime juice to go with the simple syrup, but I prefer sweetened lime juice, using less of the simple syrup and only to balance out the mouth-feel.
I also stir my gimlets, rather than shaking them. Shaking makes for a better looking drink, but one that doesn't taste as good. Aside from overly twee concerns about bruising the gin, the stirring causes less aeration than shaking does. Less aeration means fewer bubbles, and fewer bubbles means less of the gin's essential flavor components lost to the air instead of warmed and released on your tongue.
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You can use straight lime juice to go with the simple syrup, but I prefer sweetened lime juice, using less of the simple syrup and only to balance out the mouth-feel.
I also stir my gimlets, rather than shaking them. Shaking makes for a better looking drink, but one that doesn't taste as good. Aside from overly twee concerns about bruising the gin, the stirring causes less aeration than shaking does. Less aeration means fewer bubbles, and fewer bubbles means less of the gin's essential flavor components lost to the air instead of warmed and released on your tongue.
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Landless by Tony Noland. If you like the blog, try one of the books.
April 7, 2015
F is for Fuzzy Navel
Thanks to several formative experiences in the 1980s arising from a dangerous mixture of youthful overexuberance, youthful naivete, and youthful overindulgence, I can no longer even smell peach schnapps without wanting to throw up. So I don't drink Fuzzy Navels anymore.
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Help keep the words flowing.
Landless by Tony Noland. If you like the blog, try one of the books.
||| Comments are welcome |||
Help keep the words flowing.
Landless by Tony Noland. If you like the blog, try one of the books.
April 6, 2015
E is for Eggnog
Eggnog has since time beyond recall been an alcoholic beverage. Perhaps it stretches a point to call it a cocktail, since you're unlikely to get an eggnog at your local tavern. However, since I couldn't think of any other cocktails that start with "E" (and believe me, I tried), eggnog it is.
Funny story about eggnog: as I was growing up, my family drank eggnog as a whiskey-based mix. Other people used rum or brandy, but we used whiskey. Every year, as we set up the Christmas tree, the adults would have a few largish glasses of eggnog, while we kids were allowed very small glasses, just to taste.
Imagine my surprise when I spent my first Christmas with my wife's family. They were shocked when I did a double-take (almost a spit-take) when I tasted my glass of eggnog. When I stopped coughing, I was indignant on their behalf, almost outraged at the crime that had been perpetuated on them.
"You've been robbed!" I said. "Whoever you got this eggnog from didn't put any booze in it at all!"
At their blank, shocked looks, I suddenly realized that, maybe I had completely misinterpreted the situation. Maybe they hadn't been rooked. Maybe they used mild brandy? Or maybe they used akvavit or vodka? Something whose taste was completely buried under the cream, cinnamon and nutmeg? Or maybe they were just exceedingly parsimonious with their alcohol of choice, so much so that I completely missed the taste of it?
While they stared at me and I blushed crimson, I quickly took another sip. No, there was nothing. Could it be that they weren't just careful with the whiskey in the eggnog? Could they in truth be so tight-fisted as to skip it entirely? But at Christmas? To be ungenerous at Christmas?
Suffice to say, an awkward conversation ensued.
Eventually, I came to understand that I'd married into a family who had never even heard of putting alcohol in eggnog. To them, eggnog was not, and was never intended to be, an alcoholic beverage. I went on to learn that there are entire cultures just like them, who hold similar strange beliefs regarding eggnog.
The world is an amazing place, isn't it?
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Help keep the words flowing.
Landless by Tony Noland. If you like the blog, try one of the books.
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Funny story about eggnog: as I was growing up, my family drank eggnog as a whiskey-based mix. Other people used rum or brandy, but we used whiskey. Every year, as we set up the Christmas tree, the adults would have a few largish glasses of eggnog, while we kids were allowed very small glasses, just to taste.
Imagine my surprise when I spent my first Christmas with my wife's family. They were shocked when I did a double-take (almost a spit-take) when I tasted my glass of eggnog. When I stopped coughing, I was indignant on their behalf, almost outraged at the crime that had been perpetuated on them.
"You've been robbed!" I said. "Whoever you got this eggnog from didn't put any booze in it at all!"
At their blank, shocked looks, I suddenly realized that, maybe I had completely misinterpreted the situation. Maybe they hadn't been rooked. Maybe they used mild brandy? Or maybe they used akvavit or vodka? Something whose taste was completely buried under the cream, cinnamon and nutmeg? Or maybe they were just exceedingly parsimonious with their alcohol of choice, so much so that I completely missed the taste of it?
While they stared at me and I blushed crimson, I quickly took another sip. No, there was nothing. Could it be that they weren't just careful with the whiskey in the eggnog? Could they in truth be so tight-fisted as to skip it entirely? But at Christmas? To be ungenerous at Christmas?
Suffice to say, an awkward conversation ensued.
Eventually, I came to understand that I'd married into a family who had never even heard of putting alcohol in eggnog. To them, eggnog was not, and was never intended to be, an alcoholic beverage. I went on to learn that there are entire cultures just like them, who hold similar strange beliefs regarding eggnog.
The world is an amazing place, isn't it?
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Help keep the words flowing.
Landless by Tony Noland. If you like the blog, try one of the books.
[image error]
April 4, 2015
D is for Daiquiri
Ah, the daiquiri. Is there anyone not already familiar with it? This ubiquitous, low-rent, tramp stamp of a drink is the fallen woman in the adult beverage world.
When made properly, with good quality white rum and clear, sweetened lime juice, a daiquiri can hold its head high as a clean, bracing, respectable experience. Alas, no one makes them properly.
Larded with heavy fruit pulp of bananas, strawberries, peaches, mangoes, or the blended remains of whatever else was about to go bad at the fruit stall, the daiquiri becomes anything but clean and clear. So much sweetness will easily mask the low-grade, third squeezing, rind-bitter lime juice of the sort sold in 55-gallon drums.
Of course, as wretched as these fruit-derived slurries are derived, with the way most daiquiris are sold, the closest they get to real colors and flavors (however wretched) is if the guy at the chemical plant was drinking a smoothie while he mixed up his tanker cars of high fructose corn syrup, synthetic limonenes, carotenoids, and Red Dye No. 4.
And the rum. Good god, don't get me started on the rum! In a daiquiri of the common sort, it might as well be petroleum distillate. When you belly up to the bar on Bourbon Street and make a selection from the ranks of thirty frozen slushy dispensers, ranging from Frozen Banana Daiquiri to Frozen Mudslide to Frozen Sex On The Beach, do you really think they WANT you to taste the rum?
But daiquiri, know this: though your name has become synonymous with spring break and overly loud girls' nights out, I know there is still the potential for goodness in you.
I know how to love you.
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Follow me and find me around the web:
At TonyNoland.com // On Twitter // On Facebook // At Amazon.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My books (click the cover for more info):
Landless by Tony Noland. If you like the blog, try one of the books.
When made properly, with good quality white rum and clear, sweetened lime juice, a daiquiri can hold its head high as a clean, bracing, respectable experience. Alas, no one makes them properly.
Larded with heavy fruit pulp of bananas, strawberries, peaches, mangoes, or the blended remains of whatever else was about to go bad at the fruit stall, the daiquiri becomes anything but clean and clear. So much sweetness will easily mask the low-grade, third squeezing, rind-bitter lime juice of the sort sold in 55-gallon drums.
Of course, as wretched as these fruit-derived slurries are derived, with the way most daiquiris are sold, the closest they get to real colors and flavors (however wretched) is if the guy at the chemical plant was drinking a smoothie while he mixed up his tanker cars of high fructose corn syrup, synthetic limonenes, carotenoids, and Red Dye No. 4.
And the rum. Good god, don't get me started on the rum! In a daiquiri of the common sort, it might as well be petroleum distillate. When you belly up to the bar on Bourbon Street and make a selection from the ranks of thirty frozen slushy dispensers, ranging from Frozen Banana Daiquiri to Frozen Mudslide to Frozen Sex On The Beach, do you really think they WANT you to taste the rum?
But daiquiri, know this: though your name has become synonymous with spring break and overly loud girls' nights out, I know there is still the potential for goodness in you.
I know how to love you.
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Follow me and find me around the web:
At TonyNoland.com // On Twitter // On Facebook // At Amazon.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My books (click the cover for more info):
Landless by Tony Noland. If you like the blog, try one of the books.
April 3, 2015
C is for Caipirinha
The caipirinha is one of the most recognizable drinks in Brazil. Made with cachaça, a clean distillate similar to rum, the caipirinha is lime-tangy, semi-sweet, and certain to make your evening on the copacabana a memorable one.
Interestingly, a variant sold on the brag in Rio is called a caipirivodka is made with vodka instead of cachaça. Apparently young Brazilians don't want to appear unsophisticated by drinking the same booze as their forefathers.
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Follow me and find me around the web:
At TonyNoland.com // On Twitter // On Facebook // At Amazon.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My books (click the cover for more info):
Landless by Tony Noland. If you like the blog, try one of the books.
Interestingly, a variant sold on the brag in Rio is called a caipirivodka is made with vodka instead of cachaça. Apparently young Brazilians don't want to appear unsophisticated by drinking the same booze as their forefathers.
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Follow me and find me around the web:
At TonyNoland.com // On Twitter // On Facebook // At Amazon.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My books (click the cover for more info):
Landless by Tony Noland. If you like the blog, try one of the books.
April 2, 2015
B is for Bloody Mary
Some people like them made with gin instead of vodka.
Some people (me included) start with V8 instead of tomato juice.
Some people who don't know any better will skip the celery salt.
Some people get their shorts in a bunch about using Frank's Red Hot sauce or some other favorite brand instead of Tabasco.
All I know is that a Bloody Mary is the best cure for jet lag I've come across, even that eye-tearing, what-day-is-it, just-crossed-12-time-zones jet lag.
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Follow me and find me around the web:
At TonyNoland.com // On Twitter // On Facebook // At Amazon.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My books (click the cover for more info):
Landless by Tony Noland. If you like the blog, try one of the books.
Some people (me included) start with V8 instead of tomato juice.
Some people who don't know any better will skip the celery salt.
Some people get their shorts in a bunch about using Frank's Red Hot sauce or some other favorite brand instead of Tabasco.
All I know is that a Bloody Mary is the best cure for jet lag I've come across, even that eye-tearing, what-day-is-it, just-crossed-12-time-zones jet lag.
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Follow me and find me around the web:
At TonyNoland.com // On Twitter // On Facebook // At Amazon.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My books (click the cover for more info):
Landless by Tony Noland. If you like the blog, try one of the books.
