Lea Wait's Blog, page 324

Weekend Update: April 12-13, 2014

Next week is Library Week at Maine Crime Writers. Look for posts by guest librarians on Monday (Marie Stickney from the Camden Public Library), Wednesday, and Thursday, together with our regular monthly post from Jayne Hitchcock on Tuesday and a library story from Barbara Ross on Friday.  

In the news department, here’s what’s happening with some of us who blog regularly at Maine Crime Writers:

Next Saturday, April 19, is the Maine Crime Wave in Portland. It’s not too late to register and there is a great line-up of crime-writing talent: Gerry Boyle, Paul Doiron, Kaitlyn Dunnett/Kathy Lynn Emerson, Kate Flora, Tess Gerritsen, Chris Holm, and Julia Spencer-Fleming. There is a session on the business of publishing with industry professionals, and if you want to be sure you get investigative details right, another set of panelists will tell you, from firsthand experience, how the Portland Police Department and Maine’s Game Wardens solve crimes. For more information, click here:

http://mainewriters.org/2014-maine-crime-wave/

On Thursday, April 17 at 7:00 pm, Barbara Ross and Vicki Doudera to discuss “Using What You Know (Or What You’d Like to Know) to Write a Mystery” at the Carver Memorial Library,12 Union Street, Searsport, ME 04974. Love to see you there!

We’re trying something experimental for Simply the Best, the Malice Domestic panel for the Agatha Best Contemporary nominees. (Friday at 3:00 in Waterford/Lalique. Mark your calendars, if you’re attending.) We’re crowd-sourcing the questions!

So, is there anything you’ve always wanted to ask G. M. Malliet (Pagan Spring), Hank Phillippi Ryan (The Wrong Girl). Julia Spencer-Fleming (Through the Evil Days) or moi (Clammed Up)? Louise Penny (How the Light Gets In) is sadly unable to attend this year–but maybe we can catch her in writing somewhere. Shawn Reillly Simmons is moderating, so you know she’ll be able to handle your toughest questions.

Let a comment here, or send us a tweet #GoAskMalice.

For those who remember the post on Maine firemen at that huge fire just over the border in Canada, here’s a link to a follow-up story:

http://www.dailybulldog.com/db/features/rangeleys-fire-chief-describes-lac-megantic-disaster-recommends-planning-and-training/

Lea Wait: Looking forward to seeing most of you guys (and you guys?) at the Maine Crime Wave conference next Saturday … I’ll be taking it easy as a conferee. Saturday, April 12, from 10-2 I’ll be at the Cape Author Fest, a children’s author festival at Cape Elizabeth High School. Busy times! I look forward to getting back to writing ….

An invitation to readers of this blog: Do you have news relating to Maine, Crime, or Writing? We’d love to hear from you. Just comment below to share.

And a reminder: If your library, school, or organization is looking for a speaker, we are often available to talk about the writing process, research, where we get our ideas, and other mysteries of the business. Contact Kate Flora: kateflora@gmail.com

 

“Poor old Michael Finnegan – begin again!”

Lea Wait, here, wondering how many of you remember this old nursery rhyme?

“There was an old man named Michael Finnegan.

He grew whiskers on his chin-negan.

The wind came up and blew them in again.

Poor old Michael Finnegan – begin again!”

Well, that’s the song I can’t get out of my head today. Because that’s what I’m doing. One book

Notes for Next Book

approved by editor: now, begin again. Write another.

The book my editor approved was Twisted Threads, the first in my Mainely Needlepoint series, which will be published by Kensington next January. The book I’m about to begin  – Threads of Evidence — will be the second in the series. It’s due to that editor September 1. My goal is to finish a decent (but still rough) first draft by the end of June to allow time for both rewriting and for a few days enjoying  any summer visitors or activities. Plus, of course, near the end of the summer I’ll be letting people know about the publication of Shadows on a Maine Christmas, to be published early in September.

So — three months to write a book. Three months that also include a number of speaking and signing days for the book that was just published last week. (Uncertain Glory.) So, although not impossible, it will be a lot of work.

Lea’s chair … waiting.

But I think I’m ready. I’ve written brief biographies and descriptions of all the major characters – both those in the earlier book in the series who are still around, and a new group of characters who will revolve around the murder. (Of course. Has to be a murder. Or two.) I know who dies. I know all the suspects  and their motivations. I even know how the truth will be revealed. I’m thinking about adding in a couple of romantic possibilities for my protagonist, Angie Curtis. I’ll have to update readers about the business she runs. Bring back more memories of her (murdered) mother, whose story was in Twisted Threads. I know the time of the year (early June,) and the weather (60s, with possible rain and perhaps one or two very warm days. Typical Maine June.) Part of the book will involve a cold case from 1970 … so I’ve done research on that summer, to make sure I’m being true to the way things were then — politically and  economically as well as what people ate, drank, wore, listened to and watched that summer.

My editor has approved the plot outline he required. (I don’t always write one as detailed as I did this time, but what your editor wants, your editor gets.) While I’m writing I’ll probably make changes and add details, but, basically, I know what’s going to happen.

So … what’s left to do? The hardest part of all. Sitting in my chair in front of my computer and writing.

On my mark. Get set! Begin again …..

 

Shooting guns in Holliston, Massachusetts? A BLAST!

A few weeks ago, I attended a meeting of the Mystery Writers of America’s New England Chapter in Holliston, Massachusetts, for the express purpose of learning about guns.

I’m a member of MWA NE, but hardly ever get to go to meetings, and those of you who live in Maine know why.  One way, it’s a four hour drive from where I live in Camden, and without a place to stay at night, it makes for a L O N G day.  But sometimes I “bite the bullet” (am I really saying that in this post??) and get in the car.

And that Saturday, I was glad that I did, because it was a fascinating experience.

Steve Ulfelder, President of MWA NE, arranged for a group of us to meet at Mass Firearms School for a course and time on the firing range. Our teacher – James Wise –  gave us a fairly detailed safety class, and then we shot laser guns to practice our grips and stance. 

We split into groups (I was with Barbara Ross’ husband Bill Carito) and headed into the range, first donning safety glasses and ear protection. 

We shot revolvers, rifles, and semi automatics – 22 caliber first, and then 45 caliber later.  We had one-on-one training with a Mass Firearms instructor at the range.

Here are a few things I learned, thanks to James:

* Focus on the front site

* Allow the trigger shot to be a surprise

* the Glock is the most common government-issued firearm

* 15 yards is the maximum distance you could really shoot someone in self-defense.

I shot the high caliber guns, but I can’t say I really liked it. (I’m not giving up my ukulele to start shooting guns.)  The feeling, however, was amazing! The sheer power emanating from the semi automatic – what a rush!  It really did blow me away.  (sorry….)

I didn’t try the rifle – too much kickback for small frames, but I got back in my car a happy writer. I learned a lot, I enjoyed the camaraderie of the group and I brought back some cool targets.

In short — a blast!

The Book of the Heart

Kathy Lynn Emerson (aka Kaitlyn Dunnett) here. What, you may be asking, is the book of the heart? For me, right now, it’s my historical mystery, Murder in the Queen’s Wardrobe, the first in a new series set in sixteenth-century England.

The term, as used by most professional writers I know, means a book that the writer has to write, even knowing going in that it will be difficult to sell when it’s finished. If writing is the way you make your living, it is no easy task to find the time to write a book of the heart. For one thing, instead of writing a proposal and finishing the rest of the novel only after a contract has been signed and an advance against future royalties has been paid, most books that don’t have a readily apparent market usually have to be written on spec. In other words, the writer has to finish the novel before trying to sell it. That’s both good and bad. Good because what goes out to an editor is a polished, as-near-to-perfect-as-possible piece of writing. This is often more persuasive than a synopsis, especially if writing a synopsis isn’t that writer’s strong point. The bad? To produce that polished, as-near-to-perfect-as-possible piece of writing takes time. In my case, it meant finding six months when I wasn’t committed to doing anything except working on Murder in the Queen’s Wardrobe.

 

The new sleuth?

I’d been wanting to get back to the world I created for my Face Down series ever since the tenth entry, Face Down O’er the Border, was published back in 2007. Unfortunately, I needed to be writing books that would pay the bills and historical mysteries set in the sixteenth century were not going to do that for me. Instead, I became Kaitlyn Dunnett to write contemporary cozies. I returned to the sixteenth century, although in earlier decades, to write non-mystery historical novels as Kate Emerson. I was writing mysteries and I was writing historicals, but I was not writing historical mysteries. Although I enjoyed what I was doing, and still do enjoy writing the Liss MacCrimmon series, I had to tamp down my desire to once again write books that combined those two elements. Even finding time to write the occasional Lady Appleton short story was a challenge.  

Susanna, Lady Appleton, is an Elizabethan gentlewoman who also happens to be an expert on poisonous herbs. As the sleuth in ten mystery novels and numerous short stories (some collected in the anthology Murders and Other Confusions) she accumulated a large number of friends and relatives, many of whom appear as continuing characters in the series. Each book takes place about two years after the events in the previous one. Face Down in the Marrow-Bone Pie is set in 1559 when Susanna is in her mid-twenties. When the series went on hiatus, it was 1577 and, for a woman of that era, Susanna was getting on in years. I had ideas for more books, but gradually, between 2007 and 2013, most of those ended up as short stories. Susanna got older and less active.

I have nothing against older detectives, and I’m no spring chicken myself, but at some point in those six years it began to dawn on me that the way to revive the Face Down world, and make it more appealing to a publisher, would be to focus on a younger sleuth. Such a character already existed in the person of the illegitimate daughter of Susanna’s late, unlamented husband, Sir Robert Appleton. Rosamond Appleton first appears in Face Down Beneath the Eleanor Cross and crops up again and again in the series, featuring heavily in Face Down Beside St. Anne’s Well. She starred, with Rob Jaffrey, in the short story “Any Means Short of Murder,” in which the two of them defy convention and elope at the age of sixteen. Rob, you see, is the son of Susanna’s steward, Mark, and his wife, Susanna’s housekeeper and longtime sidekick, Jennet. Most people in the sixteenth century would consider this marriage a misalliance, especially since Rosamond, although illegitimate, is heir to a considerable fortune.

I’ve written books of the heart before. Deadlier than the Pen was one. So was Winter Tapestry, my first attempt at historical mystery. It ended up being published as historical romance, a story for another post. So, for that matter, was Face Down in the Marrow-Bone Pie. As with those books, ideas for Murder in the Queen’s Wardrobe wouldn’t leave me alone. The plot revolves around the very real negotiations in 1582 and 1583 to marry an English “princess” (Queen Elizabeth’s distant cousin, Mary Hastings, sister of the earl of Huntingdon) to Ivan the Terrible of Russia in order to secure trade concession for the Muscovy Company. I kept asking myself one question: what if someone wanted to sabotage those negotiations? Then all I needed was a way to get Rosamond involved, and I didn’t have far to look for that. Nick Baldwin, Susanna’s lover in the later books in the series, traveled to Muscovy and Persia as a young man. He provided the link between the Muscovy Company and Rosamond . . . especially after I sent Rob Jaffrey off to Moscow and, once I got him there, put him in jeopardy.

One door closes and another one opens. I’ve always found that to be true. After writing six books as Kate Emerson, the demand for historical novels set at the court of Henry the Eighth was petering out. To tell you the truth, I didn’t have any brilliant ideas for another one anyway. And the urge to throw in a murder or two had been getting stronger with each one I wrote. Last spring, just about a year ago, I finished revising the Liss MacCrimmon novel that will be published as Ho-Ho-Homicide this coming October and put it aside to “rest” for a minimum of two months. It wasn’t finished, but I was fairly confident that it wouldn’t need too much more tweaking before it had to be turned in that September. I did not sign up for any conferences for the remainder of 2013, no matter how tempting their offerings. I did not agree to any signings. I discouraged visitors. And for the next six months, I concentrated on writing Murder in the Queen’s Wardrobe. 

No one saw the manuscript until it was finished and I was satisfied with it. Only then did it go to my first reader, my husband, and to a writer friend, Kelly McClymer, for feedback. After some revisions, I took a deep breath and sent an efile off to my agents, Meg Ruley and Christina Hogrebe. The good news was that they liked it. The “oh-my-God-what-do-I-do-now?” news was that they wanted to start submitting it at the beginning of the new year, less than a month away. Why the panic? Because I’d reread the manuscript myself in the interim and come up with several things I wanted to improve upon. And I knew it needed at least one more pass to find all those sneaky typos and misspellings. I had about three weeks to fix everything and this was Christmas tree season, too, when I’m supposed to be helping out in the shop.

You already know how this story comes out. I finished the revisions on time. The manuscript was offered to publishers. After several rejections, the book of my heart found a home with an editor who loves it and sees it as a series. Severn House will bring out a hardcover edition in the UK this November and the hardcover and ebook will be available in the US in the spring. The second book in the series is due January 15, 2015. I guess it’s a good thing I’ll finish major revisions on the next Liss MacCrimmon mystery later this week, because it looks like I’ll to be busy for the rest of the year writing the sequel to my book of the heart.

What Was I Thinking?

Hey all. Gerry Boyle here. And I want to tell you about my new assignment. In 20 years of writing mystery novels, it’s a first.

My new publisher, Islandport Press, has asked me to write introductions to my early books, which Islandport will begin reissuing this fall. This is a great thing, as anyone who has been in this business for a while will tell you. After a couple of decades the early books get scarce. And if you’re writing a continuing series, in this case my Jack McMorrow novels, that’s a problem. A new series book is a tougher sell if the early books are out of print.

So thank you, Islandport Press. Those introductions are on the way.

But I’ve never written retrospectively about  any of my books. This assignment called for me to get them out and reread them, including time spent staring at the jacket photo of me with brown hair and a cherubic look. Okay, maybe just the brown hair.

The assignment also calls for me to try to recall writing these books more than 20 years ago, and to ask myself: what was I thinking?

I don’t know about you but I’m sort of a forward-looking writer. The next chapter. The next book. The next series, even. I don’t presume that readers have prior knowledge so I tend not to refer to earlier books in later ones. Just a matter of taste.

So not only had I not written about these early titles. I hadn’t dwelled on them of late, either.

This is a little embarrassing to admit. Sometimes I do a book talk and I look out and I see someone with a copy of the first or second book and I get a little nervous. Will they ask me about some small plot detail? Will they bring up a minor character by name? Will I be left standing there like the flummoxed kid in the spelling bee? (Could you please repeat that character’s name in a sentence?)

They say hindsight is 20-20 but only after it’s in focus. And that’s what I’ve been doing, in between writing a new book: refocusing on work I did early in my career.

I won’t keep you too long here, but a few observations:

* I don’t recall a moment where a muse visited, and the plot was revealed. I do remember deciding to start to write a novel and then refusing to give up until it was done.

* I don’t recall where the characters’ names came from, not specifically. McMorrow? I didn’t know any McMorrows when I came up with that one. I vaguely remember deciding to go with a Celtic surname. But McMorrow’s partner, Roxanne—where did that come from? Hard to say. Maybe I should have kept a journal, but hey, I was busy writing a book.

* I do recall the places that inspired the settings, wonderful towns like Rumford, Maine, a fascinating steam-belching paper mill town that provided much of my early education.

* I do recall the inspiration I got from mysteries I was reading then: John D. MacDonald’s Travis McGee novels. Very early Dick Francis. The first Spenser novel, The Godwulf Manuscript. I decided I had to try this myself, on the chance that some of the magic in those books would rub off.

* And— this is important for writers in the early stages of this effort— I remember that when it came to writing a book, I just plunged in. No hesitation or calculation. No consideration of markets or the hot theme of the time. Just the seed of an idea that turned into a story. We’re storytellers, after all. Nothing more.

*Lastly, I remember the thrill of getting the news that somebody wanted to publish my first book. I wasn’t crazy after all. It was a long slog but it actually worked. Many books followed but none of them replicated that moment. What a rush. Think of that, you first-time writers. That moment makes all of it worthwhile.

So back to work on my intros for DEADLINE and BLOODLINE. Writer of 2014, meet the writer of 1990. We’re not the same people or even the same writers but we’re glad to get reacquainted.

A Journey to India: The Anita Ray Mysteries

Susan Oleksiw: When Kate Flora invited me to introduce the Anita Ray series to readers of the Maine Crime Writers blog, I was delighted. Anita Ray is one of my favorite characters, and she’s the logical end of many years of loving India. Why India? First, the series.

Anita Ray is an Indian American photographer living in South India in her aunt’s tourist hotel. Kovalam is a resort area, once a quiet village, on the Southwest coast of India, almost at the tip of the subcontinent. The climate is subtropical, and at its coldest the temperature never drops below seventy degrees at night.

Anita’s mother is Indian, her father Irish-American. She has spent most of her life in India and plans to stay there. Deprived of her own daughter, who lives in the States and plans to stay there, Auntie Meena does her best to mother Anita, which means finding her a husband. The idea does not appeal to Anita, and she has so far avoided all comers.

Between the machinations of her large extended family and the ineptitudes of foreign guests, Anita is assured of dead bodies to investigate. The third in the series, For the Love of Parvati, will be available in May. In this outing Anita travels into the hills of Central Kerala to visit Aunt Lalita and her family. The northeast monsoon is raging, the police are searching every vehicle at roadblocks, and Lalita’s family is in disarray. The two adult children, Valli and Prakash, each have life-changing secrets, and Lalita has hired a new maidservant who has a secret that endangers everyone in the household.

One aspect of the story that proves important in the murder investigation is the various practices relating to certain pilgrimages. The story opens during the Sabarimala season, when men travel to the shrine to Ayappa, located in the hills. Men make arrangements to go in groups from their office, village, extended family, but always they go in groups. Young girls and older women past menopause can also make the pilgrimage and participate in the religious rites, but no women who are still of childbearing age can attend. I often saw a group of nine or ten men traveling together with perhaps one or two daughters. All the pilgrims dress in black, so they are easily identifiable in the cities and villages they pass through. When Anita learns that a pilgrim she is following is not part of the group soon leaving for Sabarimala and another man is not among those who are going, she fears another murder.

The first novel-length story featuring Anita Ray was Under the Eye of Kali (2010), about the murder of a guest staying at Auntie Meena’s Hotel Delite. I had a lot of fun with this one because it gave me a chance to touch on the numerous reactions foreigners have to India and the things that can and do happen there. The story is set in Kovalam, an area I know well and have watched grow from an isolated beach to a world-renowned tourist attraction. In the midst of all this commercialism is a small temple dedicated to Balabhadrakali, Kali as a young girl. And every year, the temple holds a festival to honor Kali, taking her down to the beach for a sea bath.

The first book was followed by The Wrath of Shiva (2012), about the decline of an old family and the loss of holy images. The story is set on an estate whose buildings are designed on very traditional lines, and it explores the close connections between lifelong servants and the family. One maidservant has visions that are disturbing, and problems in the lives of old family employees are corrupting family life. The loss of sacred materials from Indian temples and estates is a serious problem, and involves a network of smugglers. But as Anita discovers, the least likely people can be involved, and the smuggling happens right under our noses. In this story the tradition of the Kavu, or sacred grove, plays a pivotal role. Large family estates always contained jungle land that could not be entered or violated in any way. This land belonged to the gods, and in this case to Bhairava, the wrathful form of the Great God Shiva. But not everyone respects the old traditions, and Anita is faced with the challenge of catching a murderer and preserving an ancient and sacred tradition.

Anita appeared first in a series of short stories published in Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine and Level Best Books anthologies. The first story, “A Murder Made in India,” set the pattern. Anita investigates a suspicious death whose solution involves an aspect of traditional Indian marriage. The Anita stories are especially fun to write for the predicaments the characters get themselves into but also for the opportunity they give me to showcase aspects of traditional culture.

So, why India? Why not continue to write the Mellingham series, which is set in New England? Or how about a series set in Philadelphia, where I lived for many years? Or Tucson, where I also lived briefly? Or rural New England, where I also lived?

My love affair with India began with a children’s collection of stories set in Asia, and continued throughout my education, in prep school where I studied Indian history, in college where I studied Indian art, and in graduate school where I fell in love with Sanskrit, the classical language of India. As a graduate student and later as a research scholar I went to India to study Sanskrit drama, and that meant Kerala, where the only traditional form of Sanskrit drama survives. The fact that Kerala included beautiful palm-tree-lined beaches and cities and villages where older customs and practices thrived was certainly a bonus. I confess to falling in love with Kerala, even more passionately than with Sanskrit, and I try to visit the state every year. I call this research.

This progression through the ages, so to speak, seemed the logical reason for my undying interest in India, but I may be wrong. It may run deeper than that.

When I cleaned out my mother’s house after her death in 2002, I unpacked a trunk that had been closed up for perhaps sixty years, maybe longer. In it I found costumes from my mother’s college years (1930s), quilts made from old men’s suits (1920s), a few books, lots and lots of photographs, some dating to before 1900, and an embroidered Indian shawl, which seems to be an antique Aksi shawl. The term aksi means reflection. In this type, considered the finest among several Northern forms, the design is produced on one side by splitting the warp threads into half, leaving the other side plain or embroidered with another pattern. The trunk included other antique pieces from India but the shawl was the finest. I was dumbfounded when I unwrapped the tissue paper and there it was.

So perhaps my interest in India isn’t the result of years of liberal education but just karma and DNA, or something like that. Either way, the Anita Ray series is loads of fun, especially when you’d rather be someplace warm and breezy than in the cold New England winter.

If you have read this far, I am offering an ARC of For the Love of Parvati to one reader who leaves a comment, to be selected at random.

Susan Oleksiw writes the Anita Ray series featuring an Indian American photographer living at her aunt’s tourist hotel in South India (Under the Eye of Kali, 2010, The Wrath of Shiva, 2012, and For the Love of Parvati, 2014). She also writes the Mellingham series featuring Chief of Police Joe Silva (introduced in Murder in Mellingham, 1993). Susan is well known for her articles on crime fiction; her first publication in this area was A Reader’s Guide to the Classic British Mystery. Her short stories have appeared in Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine and numerous anthologies. Susan lives and writes outside Boston, MA.

 

 

Weekend Update: April 5-6, 2014

Next week at Maine Crime Writers we’ll be featuring posts Gerry Boyle (Tuesday), Kaitlyn Dunnett, blogging as Kathy Lynn Emerson (Wednesday), Vicki Doudera (Thursday), and Lea Wait (Friday), with a special guest post from Susan Oleksiw on Monday. 

In the news department, here’s what’s happening with some of us who blog regularly at Maine Crime Writers:

Vicki Doudera:  Book Launch Party for Deal Killer is finally (almost) here!  This Thursday, April 10th, at Cappy’s Chowder House, 1 Main Street in Camden, from 5 to 7 pm. Come say hi, get your newest Darby Farr Mystery, and enjoy refreshments. Now on to our other news…

Kathy Lynn Emerson: Big news from me this week. As Kaitlyn Dunnett, I’ll still be writing the Liss MacCrimmon Scottish-American Heritage series, but (drum roll, please) under my own name, I am now officially writing the Mistress Jaffrey Mysteries for Severn House, starting with Murder in the Queen’s Wardrobe, set in 1582/3 in England and Russia, which was then called Muscovy. Look for more details in my post on Wednesday.

Lea Wait:  Hurrah, Kathy! Can hardly wait to read the new series! Meanwhile, my week is busy .. today (Saturday the 5th) I’ll be signing at the Children’s Book Cellar on Main Street in Waterville, Maine, from 10 until 12. Sunday, April 6, the publisher of my Uncertain Glory is hosting a launch party for the book at Le Garage Restaurant, on Water Street in Wiscasset, from 4-5:30 … refreshments and cash bar. I’ll speak a little on Wiscasset and the Civil War. Then Thursday, April 9, I’ll be on a panel at Reading Roundup, a conference for Maine children’s librarians in Augusta. And on Saturday, April 12, I’ll be one of many children’s authors and illustrators signing books at the Cape Author Festival at Cape Elizabeth High School from 10 a.m. until 2 p.m. Hope I see many of you along the way!

Barb Ross: Two book launches this week! We are busy crew. My news is “Give Me a Dollar,” Ray Daniel’s entry in Best New England Crime Stories 2014: Stone Cold won the Derringer Award for Best Long Story from the Short Mystery Fiction Society. It’s a great story featuring Ray’s character, uber-hacker Tucker who will appear in a series of mystery novels starting with Terminated in August.

Now that she’s finished the book she’s been working on, Sarah Graves will be rejoining us as a regular blogger next month. Welcome back, Sarah!.

 

An invitation to readers of this blog: Do you have news relating to Maine, Crime, or Writing? We’d love to hear from you. Just comment below to share.

And a reminder: If your library, school, or organization is looking for a speaker, we are often available to talk about the writing process, research, where we get our ideas, and other mysteries of the business. Contact Kate Flora: kateflora@gmail.com

 

Sugar Bears

In which Dorothy Cannell discovers that they are not something you should eat . . .

SUGAR BEARS

There are instances (admittedly few and far between) when I think I deserve elevation to sainthood.  Last evening was one of those times.  I’ve been spending the past couple of weeks in the Midwest on a visit with children and grandchildren, dividing my time between the ones in Illinois and those in St. Louis, where I currently am.  My base here is at my daughter and her partner’s home with their three children Trevor, Jordan and Hope.  My oldest grandson Julian and his sister Mariah live a few miles away with their father.  They’ve spent lots of overnights here during my visit and it’s all been heaps of ordinary, everyday, fun.

Julian is twenty.  He’s been great about doing some of chauffeuring when we’ve gone out to eat, primarily at Steak & Shake or Panera’s.  I pine for them in Maine; and the kids are happy wherever we go.  A few days ago Julian went with fifteen-year-old Jordan to one of the malls.  On their return there was talk about Sugar Bears.  Julian asked me if I knew about them.  Assuming they were candies, I said I’d never tried them but as I love gummy bears I’d probably find them very tasty.  It was then explained to me by a number of eager voices that Sugar Bears are small-sized Real Live animals.  What had stirred Julian’s interest was having seen and held a couple of them at the mall where a company had representatives demonstrating their charms.   Chief of which is they can go everywhere with you in a shirt or pant pocket without fear of attempted escape due to the extraordinary bond between pet and owner.  I was shown a phone photo and my mind screamed ‘Rodent.’  You only have to say the word ‘Mouse’ to have me leaping for the chandelier.  Wrong concept.  Sugar Bears are marsupials from the Australian rain forests; as such they can be safely integrated with dogs or cats.  I pictured our cat Vicki’s cynical smirk as I explained that though a Sugar Bear might look like fast food it wouldn’t taste like it.

The conversation changed and that was that, until Julian, Mariah, Jordan, Hope and I were about to leave Panera’s.  Julian asked if I’d like to go the mall, and I was only too pleased to accept because I’d been wanting to buy a long-sleeved white t-shirt.  But I can’t claim misrepresentation.  When we were walking to the car Julian told me that the Sugar Bears would only be for sale there until nine o’clock that night.  I was in no doubt where this was teetering – he was almost ready to buy one, but wanted encouragement to do so.

I later learned that Sugar Bears are not inexpensive pets – let’s think the cost of a pretty decent sofa , and Julian has always been thrifty.  It didn’t surprise me he had enough on his debit card to buy two; in fact, he considered that option before deciding on one for the time being.  “Very reasonable,” I said, blocking the vision of my husband’s appalled face at my being such dreadful influence.

Through the mall we went until reaching a group of people gathered around a man with two little creatures running up and down his arm. Think skinny looking chipmunks.  I can deal with this, I thought, until one dived inside his shirt and wriggled downward.  Still I managed to lock in my smile.  Where the sainthood came in was when Julian asked I’d like to stroke the one that was still visible.  Greater love hath no grandmother, I thought on extending a finger.  The selection was made from a number of eight-week-olds and borne away by Julian in a pouch around his neck.  Included in the cost was a cage and other necessities.

So, our new family member is a boy, as yet unnamed.  On our return, my daughter Shana said to Julian, “I’m not saying a Sugar Bear isn’t welcome here, I’m cool!  But he’ll have to stay in his cage.  I just can’t deal with him flying around the room.”

It was her turn to be educated.  Mariah explained that Sugar Bears don’t fly – “they glide,” to which Shana replied, “If you shot a paper plane in the air, it makes no difference whether you called if gliding or flying.”

I couldn’t have agreed more, but kept my saintly smile and said nothing.

 

 

 

John’s New Job

New mom, new baby

One of the things I remember best about library school was the management class taught by Dr. Charles Curran, AKA Dr. Chuckie. His dry sense of humor and booming voice disconcerted more than one Mainer taking the class over satellite TV. He taught us two things that still echo through my head on a regular basis. #1: “Librarians buy stuff.” He couldn’t emphasize strongly enough that a big part of earning our paycheck involved purchasing stuff (generally with a limited budget) that patrons would want to get their hands on, so we better know what the hell they wanted.

Russ and Sara at the beginning of the journey

The second thing was far more interesting. Chuck said that no college experience could prepare you for everything that would happen in the workplace, so he was going to have us go into the real world and interview a librarian who had gotten his/her MLIS within the previous three years. We were to ask them about the biggest situation they’d faced that library school left them completely unprepared for. The exercise was called the ‘Roof Leaks’ experience. When we met as a group several weeks later, the shared experiences were all over the place and absolutely reinforced what Chuck had been telling us about the unpredictability of our future job experiences. I wish, in hindsight, that more people had been that frank about new jobs like the one I’ve just begun.

Holy crap, there’s a world here, Mom.

Fast forward to last Labor Day weekend. Beth and I were celebrating our 36th wedding anniversary. Older daughter Sara and her husband Russ had come to make us lunch. We had told them not to bring presents, but while we were waiting for food to hit the table, sara pulled out a small box and set it in front of us. Inside were two simple picture frames that had no photos in them. One was labeled Grandma, the other, grandpa.

That was our heads-up that we were soon to become grandparents. Beth was in 7th heaven. I was pleased, but the fact was more an abstract reality than something that had me stirred up. Remember, I’m the guy who once told the world he would be dead before turning 26, so momentous events don’t tend to get me too wound up at 66. My grandparents were never much more than hazy memories. Both of my grandfathers died when I was fairly young and while my maternal grandmother, Della Look Clark, lived in Union for several years when she got old, she also died when I was a freshman in college. Even my grandmother, Martha Ingersol Carman, while she lived until I was in my 30s, was distant, both physically and emotionally. In sum, experiences with my own grandparents hadn’t been anything exciting.

Piper practicing for her first Patriot’s game

When Beth and I became parents, we pretty much flew solo when the girls were little. Neither set of parents was really involved once the babies were born, nor did they offer to take them for a few days so we could have some ‘us’ time when the girls got older. I will say that my mother was really good about spending time with Sara and Lisa when they got old enough to explore Sennebec Hill Farm. She would head out on nature expeditions and have just as much fun as they did

All those experiences didn’t help me develop a mindset that enabled me to have the slightest idea how I’d turn out when my time came to assume the Granddad role. Sara was due around March 17th, but because of breech issues, she had a C-section on March 3rd. That decision continued a family tradition that makes birthdays a snap to remember. Sara was born the day after Beth’s birthday, while our new granddaughter, Piper Alexis Lozefski, was born the day after mine. Super convenient.

Dr. Clark will be babysitting very soon

I’ll admit that my first inclination was to stay home when I knew Sara was ready to have Piper, but I changed my mind pretty fast and was in the recovery room when she was brought there for new dad, Russ to hold her. We all took tons of photos and got a chance to hold her. I can’t describe the felling that filled me, save to say it was unexpected and amazing.

Beth and I returned the next day and were there to help out a week later when Sara came home from the hospital. Somewhere during that time, I discovered that sitting quietly and just holding my new granddaughter was an unbelievably satisfying feeling. Some of that comes from being an observer of my fellow humans. Between my time in mental health and in the various libraries I’ve worked in, I’ve had plenty of time to watch people feel and interact. Much of what I’ve seen hasn’t looked particularly happy. I understand unhappy and it sucks. Happy is way preferable. Beth and I have talked about the differences between the beginnings when we were little, when were were new parents and this time around. I think we’ve both used some of the insight we’ve gained, so we’re looking to do the next right thing for Sara, Russ and Piper.

I spent last Monday afternoon holding my granddaughter while listening to new mom, Sara vent and talk about how completely unprepared she was despite doing everything right. I know the feeling, so it was good to be there for her as a supportive sounding board. I hope that type of usefulness continues. While Piped napped, I semi-dozed myself, imagining how much fun she’ll be in a year or two when she’s fully engaged with the world. Yes, it’s early in the game, but I have a feeling I’m gonna love this grandfather job…A lot.

Missouri Compromise Void, Maine Re-annexed by Massachusetts

In a surprise move yesterday, the State of Missouri announced that it is “consciously uncoupling” from the United States. “With a congressional approval rating of 12.5% and a presidential approval rating of 41%, we thought it was time to reassess our relationship,” said Missouri Governor Jay Nixon’s spokesperson, Scott Holste. When questioned about the difficulty of establishing a currency, central bank and military defense, Holste said, “Whoa, whoa. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s just say ‘we’re on a break’ and leave it at that.” Holste added that Missouri might be “open to counseling.”

For however long the break lasts, the move had far-ranging consequences across the country in New England. In a little known provision, the Missouri Compromise, the law that brought both Missouri and Maine into being, requires that if Missouri ceases to exist, Maine must be rejoined with its former colonial master, Massachusetts.

The shocking development brought consternation in Augusta and Boston, where Liberal Democrat Duval Patrick will be forced to co-govern with Tea Party darling Paul LePage.

“I’m sure we’ll do fine,” LePage said. “Patrick, he’s an Irish guy, right?”

“I plan to spend most of my time in Iowa and New Hampshire, anyway,” said lame duck Patrick. “LePage, that’s Haitian, right?”

In an early compromise, Patrick announced that Maine residents could sign up for health insurance via the Mass Connector website. While widely seen as a defeat for LePage, LePage responded, “My understanding is the Mass website functions so poorly this move will have little practical effect.”

For his part, LePage demanded that if he was going to work at the State House in Boston, the plaque honoring slain Labor Leader Edward Cohen would have to be removed. LePage gave no reason except that the plaque gave him the “Heebie McJeebies.”

“I’m sure we’ll have it all sorted out by Patriots’ Day,” Patrick said.

“Patriot’s Day,” LePage corrected.

“That’s what I said. Patriots’ Day,” Patrick agreed. “It is going to be a long couple of weeks, though.”

In Maine, man on the street Hubie Newell was preparing for the reunification. “I’ve traded my Outback in for a Saab and I’ve been practicing racing down Route One blindfolded with a brick duct-taped to my right foot,” Newell said. “That way I’ll be ready for’em when they come.”

Asked in Copley Square how he expected the reunification to effect his life, Bay Stater Bard Finster said, “Wait, what is happening?”

In an unrelated development, the State of New Hampshire raised the passenger car rate at the Hampton toll to $50.