Sally Clarkson's Blog, page 87
April 30, 2020
Being Grace-Filled Means Intentionality, Not Passivity
I adore beautiful gardens, and especially roses. To see an prolific antique rose bush in its glory is amazing. In Vienna, near the Hoffburg Palace and also the summer palace where Marie Antoinette was raised, there are rows and rows of abundantly full rose bushes which speak of His divine touch and craftsmanship.
However, the grace and beauty of such a garden are not instantaneous; each comes through much cultivation, planning and sacrifice of time. The bushes must be fed with the best of fertilizer, the ground must be weeded, and they must be watered constantly to maintain proper growth.
Roses are especially vulnerable to mold and aphids and so the outside forces that would destroy them must be monitored and dealt with constantly. An eye of protection must look for any evidence of such pests. The more quickly the threats are dealt with, the less damage the bushes incur.
In winter, the branches are cut back so far as to make the bushes appear dead, at times seeming to have destroyed the very life inside. Yet, the cutting back and training of the branches allows the roots to grow deep and provides for a healthier long term plant.
The blooms are the fruit and glory of the cultivation of the plant. Yet, even the beautiful blooms are temporary and must be trimmed so that others may grow in their place.
The care of such a garden and particularly of the rose bushes is given because of the love the gardener has for cultivating such beauty. All the acts of cultivating and grooming the garden occurs in order that it may grow.
So it is with the discipline of children. Grace-based parenting is not just passively letting children go and overlooking their missteps. Leniency and ill attention is also unacceptable. To raise and cultivate a lovely legacy of children requires so much time, attention, intentional discipline, and training.
I have received interesting letters and been in the presence of women whose children are a nightmare to be with, because the mamas thought grace-based parenting meant not ever getting in the way of their children's will or saying no to them or making them wait. Once, a woman told me her 3-year-old spit on her husband and kicked him when he walked in the room! Then she said, "He just doesn't understand grace based parenting, and he is getting upset with my way of applying these principles." No wonder!
I would never, never allow such behavior in a child for one second unless I knew the child had a disorder of some kind that prevented more mature behavior. All children must be trained and taught and shaped in order to reach their full potential. But anger and harshness need not be the prevailing attitude. Strength can be exhibited by firmness with gentleness, consistency, and guidance, with love and self-control as the base attitude of the parent.
Because I knew my children were going to be in a tough world, where their needs and whims would not be swiftly met, I knew that they had to grow strong inside and learn to develop an inner sense of strength and self-control.
So, it starts with the great soil of love, warm and tender affection, words of life and affirmation and acceptance--even if a baby is challenging and difficult.
Then, we feed our children daily on the truth of God's word, modeling and training their little natures to have character. Saying prayers of gratefulness while shaping their little hands in a form of prayer to God every meal, snatching their little hands if they ever hit or grab a toy, saying, "No, you may never hit a child, you may never grab a toy." Separating them when they misbehave, teaching them to have self-control by waiting the tiniest bit for mommy, not interrupting, not demanding. Encouraging them to share, to give, to help siblings, to serve others by giving them real live things to do.
True grace-based parenting means training children by giving them consequences that tug at their heart, causing them to choose to obey the next time. Telling our children ahead of time what is expected of them. "We need to stop playing and clean up the den. I am telling you five minutes ahead of time so that you can finish what you are doing and then we will all work together. Do you understand? Tell me what I said. "
Shaping their little appetites for life with beauty, peace, and self-giving serving of others. We are to be God's instrument in their lives of turning them away from their own self-wills. We cut out the offending pests that would deplete the emotional, moral or spiritual health of our children--it means we must confront sinful attitudes, create consequences, train truth, and memorize scripture and train from that scripture! We must also create and allow difficulties to have their course in our children's lives so that they may become strong and deepen their roots. If we guard them overly, keeping them away from all that is bad or unfair, then they will never be able to stand on their own in a world at war with God's principles.
It is a life of nurturing, cultivating, protecting, allowing to bloom, cutting back and shaping. It is an active life of constant attention and work. But the product is one of beauty, grace, and indeed has the divine touch of God's handprint on it.
The work of the gardener of souls is never finished, goes through many seasons, and wards off many pests. But the end result--a godly heritage— is more beautiful and sweeter to behold than I ever knew. The fruit of the planting and gardening produces more fruit and satisfaction that I would have understood.
Passivity is not allowed for us as parents, but the grace of life-giving, always. It is the glory of the gardener to see the fruit of labor well-done, beautiful and in full bloom.
April 29, 2020
Tiny Breaks All Day that Bring a Little Bit of Joy: What We Do to Keep Happy & Podcast!
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Every night, after we have had dinner and washed the dishes, I look forward to a secret, delectable treat, all for me—4 large salted dark chocolate almonds. Trying not to gain weight but it is my secret reward at the end of the day. As a matter of fact, I have fun little habits I sprinkle through my whole week.
The last day before everyone had to sequester in their homes, I returned from a wonderful long weekend in Asheville with my team of leaders. We have zoom chats all the time. We giggled and had lots of fun talking about the escapes each of us have taken—books on tape, chocolate, and so much more.
I thought at this point, it would be fun to talk a bit about something light— what we like to do, when we need to blow off steam! And so our team gathered to record this for you over Zoom this weekend to share some ideas.
Our podcast is about what we’d do as women who need tiny breaks to have fun for ourselves, but here are some ideas for what to do when your kids need to have fun, too! It is what I counted on when I needed a break.
Here are some of my fun Ideas that I used in our family.
Bubbles, of course, always made fun when we had not used them for a while.
Sidewalk chalk and give each child 5 pieces and have a mural contest.
Buy the little whirly sticks that blow in the wind. This kept Joy busy for hours when she was little.
Rousing game of capture the flag—or playing Roxaboxin!
Sticker books
Water in many different forms—bath tub and bubbles, floating little boats or army men or tea cups in a big pot of water outside—sprinklers, squirt guns, water water water.
I have a basket of wooden Easter eggs and I would use them all year round inside our home to hide for the kids when they needed something fun to do. Painting wooden eggs is also fun, and they never break. Toddlers love to roll them on the floor, and my children loved hiding them in the house for many years! Our wooden eggs came from from my missionary years in Poland, where I bought them for 10 cents apiece. They have lasted us all these years!
Tents under dining tables or card tables. Once we pulled a bunch of tables into our hallway and had a whole network through 2 rooms of our house! Each child had his own table, and they visited each other all day long, and of course ate snacks and lunch under the tables!
Camping out on your own porch. It is a lot easier than camping out for real and especially when there was a meteor shower.
Having a picnic dinner anytime outside, by the fireplace, in a bedroom, wherever we could pretend an adventure. And of course, we didn't have to make a real meal--just finger sandwiches, and fruit was enough to have fun. (they always tasted better when they were in shapes of hearts or logs or stars--I used big cookie cutters)
Going for a ride in the middle of the day with a rousing book on tape or Odyssey and ending up at the frozen yoghurt shop.
These are just a few things I would do when I needed a break. Maybe some of my ideas can help you.
What about you? What would you do?
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April 28, 2020
The Value of Work, Listening to Truth & Stuff & Podcast
Marriage, the place where the masks come off!
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Clay and I have gone grocery shopping together for the first time in our marriage. One of the most important truths I have learned about marriage is that it is at its best when you learn the value of being on the same team, partners for all that life holds.
We have been through so many paths of life and we have learned the value of running together side by side through all of the crisis moments and sharing the burdens together.
But your faithfulness through all the seasons, learning to run, learning to work, learning to live by truth, not by the internet is such important work. Today, I had issues on my heart, fallacies and problems I see in culture and messages on the internet. I share them with you on the podcast.
But, in a memory from my home might encourage you to know that your work matters, it is not in vain. It does not have to be perfect to make an impact. Sharing a story from 2 different stories that I hope will encourage you. Maybe your hands are weary today as you pat heads, fold clothes, stir soup, and scrub dishes. But the work your hands are doing is priceless work, work your children will remember. Sharing from The Mission of Motherhood today. I hope it's an encouragement to you!
As I look back to the memories of my childhood, a strong image that comes to my mind is that of my mother's loving hands. I thought they were the most beautiful in the world.
In many ways, I still feel that way. Because I had been a premature baby, I was often sick with a variety of respiratory illnesses, including chronic asthma and occasional bouts with pneumonia. My memories of these illnesses, however, are mostly pleasant, because my mother would gently stroke my brow as she talked softly or told me stories and gave me her full attention. I remember feeling very loved from such focused attention.
At other times, when I fidgeted in church services, I remember my mother's hands massaging my own, pulling and squeezing each of my fingers as she quietly played finger games with me. As a young child, sitting next to her in a big overstuffed chair, I would watch her hands as she read to me from an oversized children's book. Her fingers would point to the enticing, heart-delighting pictures and turn the pages of the large volumes as we leisurely sat together and talked and read.
And during the period when I was having a recurring nightmare—one I still remember!—I especially remember the comfort of my mother's hands when she came to my bedside. She would take my hand in hers as she knelt to pray with me, soothing away my fears and comforting me as she entreated God to take all of my bad thoughts away.
Now, many, many years removed from my mother and a thousand miles away, these memories of my mother's hands are still strong in my heart. Those hands are now old and wrinkled and aching with arthritis, yet still, as an adult, I often wish she were with me to stroke my brow in the midst of illness and exhaustion, to massage away the frustration and boredom of tedious days, to open windows to the world while reading to me in a big old chair, and to take my hand in prayer and cast away all the fears of my life. The touch of a mother's hand and the power of a mother's love indeed has carried me through many moments of my life.
As I look to the needs of children of today, I am convinced they need the same things from their mothers that I needed—and received—from mine. They need not only the gentle touch of a mother's hands, but her focus and her attention on a daily basis. They need a champion and a cheerleader, someone who has the time and energy to give encouragement along life's way and comfort in dark times. They need a directive voice to show them how to live.
These needs are not frivolous demands. They're part of the way God designed children. And meeting those needs is not an option or a sideline for mothers, but part of his design as well.
Now, my mama has passed away. When I wrote this 12 years ago, I was in the midst of remembering the difference her touch and soothing affection made in my life. How I wish for just an hour when I would have her eyes looking at me with love, her hands squeezing and massaging my own, and her voice of approval and affection. Just one more time with my mama.
But the memories still carry me now, knowing that she had to make choices to give me these memories--choices to "see" me when she could have been distracted or busy with her demanding life. Today, I am going to reach out to all of my own adult children because I want them to have one more moment and touch of my mama love.
Printable:
Biblical Conviction PDF
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April 27, 2020
Very Important: Take a Little Time for You & Podcast
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And He said to them, "Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while." (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.) ~ Mark 6:31
Saturday morning, about 11:00, my husband text me and said, “Warning, you will find me and another guy at the from door in 5 minutes moving some furniture home from the office. (They kind of social distanced as they were in two vehicles, but the move had to be done.)
“You might want to hide someplace.”
Boy did he get that right, but not because of my pajamas—I just wanted the whole world to leave me alone and let me catch up with myself and have nothing and no one who needed me.
For the first time, almost that I can remember, I was still in my pajamas, had hardly moved from the couch, except for a cup of strong tea, then a cappuccino with half and half whip cream, and then something sweet with another cup of strong tea. I just could not make myself do one more responsible thing.
It is possible that you might not have changed out of your pajamas for a few days, you might be tired. No one else has made you a meal because you have not been to a restaurant for weeks. Probably there is a part of you, or many parts of you, that feels worn out, you might feel worn out and unlovely. You probably need a civilized moment, all to yourself. It is not frivolous, it is necessary. This morning, I am sipping very strong coffee (french press variety) and still in my gown at 11:00 a.m. and taking a few minutes to breathe. I just never had time to get dressed. And I knew I needed a 15 minute, one woman coffee time before moving on to the rest of the day's demands.
In today's whirlwind culture, it's become common to feel pressed to "power through" every possible situation in life. Whether we are ill, exhausted, or dealing with a personal crisis, (or planning weddings in Oxford from thousands of miles away :)), we seem hesitant to take time to refresh ourselves. Putting on a brave face, taking a deep breath, and drinking yet another cup of coffee may help for awhile, but it isn't the best answer long-term when we realize we're truly exhausted in body, soul, and/or spirit.
Even though I love ministering to and inspiring others to Biblical ideals, I get physically and emotionally drained. Much of my life at this point is work, as God has opened doors of opportunity for me to speak and write and I do love women and want to come along side them. All of my energy has to be focused outwardly, which is not natural to my personality. It's no wonder that often, I feel a deep need to get away and be by myself. I am not natural at being in the center of attention, so I have to have time to get back to my personal emotional center. I need reflective time alone to refill my spiritual well.
It also helps me understand why I need regular time away from my children. As a young mama who chose to home educate my children, I had committed to a life that was not an introverted lifestyle. Four little people, eventually some big people, wanted my attention every moment of the day, and there were always bigs and littles waiting for my time, standing in line. Then when I had a tiny moment to breathe, it seemed Clay was there when my children were through with me!
“Hi, honey, Want to be together for a little while. Seemed everyone wanted a piece of me every moment of the day. Since it is impossible to find a place or the time to be alone in a house full of people, I have had to learn to be creative.
When I was 44, and writing my first book, there was a wonderful French bakery about ten minutes from my home that became my private getaway. Just the atmosphere ministers to my soul—French-roasted coffee, brick-oven-baked European breads, a fresh-cut flower on each wooden table, baroque music in the background. It is so reminiscent of the Viennese coffeehouses that Clay and I frequented during our years of ministry in Austria. If I could go there even for just an hour in the early morning, by myself, and enjoy my quiche and coffee without anyone begging for a taste, I come home a totally different person.
I would be newly invigorated and ready for the active life of running after the four always-on- the-go, chattering little squirrels I call my children. One year, I would go for breakfast by myself at least once a week at 6:30 in the mornings. (my children were 13, 10, 8 and 2) Clay would get up with the kids, feed them breakfast and I would be home by 8:00 so that he could go to the office. It was a miracle small retreat for me that changed the days for me.
On rare occasions of personal crisis, I have needed an extended time alone. Several years ago I suffered a serious miscarriage, during which I lost a large amount of blood, leaving me extremely anemic. While I was recovering, my father became ill and died. I was already drained from starting a new mom's group with classes for 120 children and a Bible study for the mothers, and from a broken relationship with another couple at church. I was exhausted physically, emotionally, and spiritually. To give me time to recuperate, Clay offered to take the kids home to Texas to visit their grandmother for two weeks. I definitely needed their time away.
I had in mind that while they were gone I would clean and organize the house, get my files in shape, read a book or two about interests that applied to my parenting and educational goals for my children and to refresh and motivate me. Of course I planned to spend some extended time with the Lord. Instead, I slept a lot, ate my favorite foods, went out to restaurants with my mother who flew in to visit, met a couple of friends for lunch, watched some old movies, and spent some casual time reading my Bible. I accomplished very little while the family was gone, but when they returned I was refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to get back to real life. I'd just needed some physical, emotional, and spiritual rest--and fun away from all the goals and work of parenting, marriage and motherhood.
Whatever your personality, be sure you allow yourself the time to be refreshed in a way that is right for you. There is no single, one-size-fits--all formula for how and where that happens, but you need enough time with yourself to determine how and where it will happen for you. But when you take care of your personal needs and make time to invest in your own well-being through this marathon of life, you will live a more sustainable life.
Sometimes, the most spiritual thing you can do is take some time alone, eat something delicious and look at something beautiful--and accomplish absolutely nothing visible at all!
Remember: Jesus knew his own disciples needed such time.
And He said to them, "Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while." (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.) ~ Mark 6:31
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April 26, 2020
When Storms Come, Walk in The Steps Of One Who Has Gone Before & Podcast
Blowing Through the Streets of Oxford
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Peter reminded us: I Peter 2: 21 For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps,
He who walks with the wise is wise,
A companion of fools suffers harm.
Proverbs 15:20
Do you ever feel blown about by the storms of life? At this point in the virus, many of us including me, are feeling restless and wondering what is ahead. Yet, storms and winds of life that were unexpected and throw me off my expectations are familiar to me after walking the path for almost 67 years. We read the the disciples were thrown off by storms. So if we feel frustrated, restless, fearful of what is ahead, we share with many throughout the storms of life over many years. It is normal to have feelings, it is supernatural, a product of walking in the Spirit, to walk forward with faith, resolve and peace.
Our children will learn just how to walk through the winds that come their way by walking with us as we move through our own storms. Our walking, with them beside us, leaves them a pattern of how to trust when they become adults. And Jesus did is for us as well, we are told that He left us an example that we should walk in His footsteps.
"By walking in integrity at home, my children received from my life, training for battles that were ahead of them. By walking through the obstacles and curves of our lives, trusting God, living by faith, choosing to endure, our children became familiar with what it looked like to walk with God in the midst of their own challenges." -Sally Clarkson, The Mom Walk
When your children walk with you, are they walking with a wise person? Can they look at your seasoned responses, your insightful understanding of people, your fortitude in difficult times as they walk the moments of your daily life? Children watch us, listen to us when we are talking to others, hear us behind closed doors as we talk to our husband, see us in public. Our lives are the walk that our children will imitate.
We are in a generation and culture that has turned our children's training grounds into a battlefield. With relative morality, confusing voices, compromise of ideals, secular media values and opposing opinions, where will our children find clarity and strong, secure values to embrace?
As mothers, we must be ready and equipped with steady feet and strong souls to lead the way for our kids with integrity. We will give them confidence as we walk, staying close to them, holding their hand, and showing them sure footsteps to follow.
"O Lord, who may abide in Your tent? Who may dwell on Your holy hill? He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness, and speaks the truth in his heart." -Psalm 15:1-2
No matter how old your children become, you are the example for them. They will always be looking at you to see integrity, ideals, and how you interact with God. And the longer you provide your children with wisdom based on truth, the more they will quickly consider your advice as they walk their own adult journey.Still, on a daily basis, I am walking with my adult children. They learned to trust their "path guide" on the trail of life we walked together, day by day.
We must lead the way and set a solid foundation for the paths our children will follow. Teaching our children to walk truly never ends.
Are you walking in wisdom today? Is your life one you want your children to follow? Is your pathway in your life with God getting brighter and brighter? May God lead us on His path with integrity in each step.
What are some of the ways you make each day a focussed moment of a loving relationship as you walk the days with your children?
But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, That shines brighter and brighter until the full day
Proverbs 4: 18
Peter reminded us: I Peter 2: 21 For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps,
Printable:
1 Peter 2:21 PDF
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April 23, 2020
Parenting By Grace from Toddlers to Teens With Misty & a Podcast
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Oh, I can’t believe it! I am turning into a real predictable grandmother. I just think Lily is the cutest in the world with her little pink hat and coat adorned with the darling bow. It is so much easier for me to relax at this stage. I have been through the babyhood, childhood, teenage years, college years and young adult and now I can breathe. Yet, the journey was one filled with mystery and questions. Because so many have asked me to speak to toddlerhood and teenagers, I decided to do a short podcast on both today. And the foundational secret for both categories is giving a foundation of unconditional love.
Which of us has ever been loved too much? Same for your precious ones. We are all fraught with vulnerability, the possibility of failing in a million ways, with fear, exuberance, personality and so many things that make us unique. And so, in the context of life, we all long for love and acceptance and grace—and in my experience, grace wins the day! (And the hearts of our children, husband, friends, neighbors, bosses, all of our encounters!)
Today, I have on my heart to share a bit about how to treat our children from toddlers to teens with the grace with which Christ treats me. (And there is more on teenagers in the podcast than here as I ran out of time.)
My goal throughout my time a parenting has been to have my children learn to obey me and to honor me quickly, from a heart that had been trained and nurtured to respond. I hoped they would want to please me as a parent as well as wanting to please God. because of our relationship. Sometimes, this meant exerting my authority immediately to help them learn that they must listen to mama. Often when they were toddlers, it meant picking them up to quickly stop the wrong behavior and to whisper quietly so they would listen, speaking to them about my expectation that they would obey. Grace-based parenting is not equal to permissiveness and lack of training or responsibility for children.
I read constantly when my children were little, to learn about how they developed. One article said the average two-year-old took between 30 seconds and a minute to have some messages sink in if they were engaged with something else (which they always seem to be!). Yet so often, I see moms being very strict with their children and being harsh when the child has not even understood yet just what he is doing wrong.
Harshness does not win over a child. Neither does wanting a two-year-old to be more mature than he can be, and punishing him for being two! We must use wisdom and discretion to understand the situation, the heart of the child, and how to best train him.. It is the kindness and mercy of God that leads to repentance. Child discipline should always be based on a relationship between a mature, benevolent, loving parent who is seeking to lead his child to maturity, and to train his child to think in the direction of righteousness and to train his behavior little by little.
The mature parent should consider the state of the child, his emotional needs and physical needs before meting out discipline.
Ignorance produces harshness
The unfortunate thing is that many parents, in the name of faithful discipline, do not understand or consider the differences between babies or toddlers or young children or even teens with all of their hormones. They exhibit anger and harshness toward their children, acting in a demeaning way, while neglecting the cues of the child at each stage. These parents have no perspective for the children themselves--they use a rule and formula no matter what the circumstance is--and often wonder why their children to not respond to them.
But, this kind of one-rule-for-every-situation discipline neglects the child's basic well being. If children are exhausted or overstimulated by television or other children, they are naturally more hostile or out of control. A wise parent will tend to his child's need for rest, quiet, rhythm, and balanced blood sugars, and understand hormones or emotions and personality. Often I see children disciplined for things the parent has neglected--their physical and emotional needs---when the child's behavior is often a direct signal to the parent to meet those needs.
I believe that Biblical discipline will take a long time to secure the heart--many years of constant loving training and instruction. We had very high standards for our children, but our discipline was always viewed through a lens of relationship as the strong basis of our discipleship. Without a close relationship, discipline is quite unproductive.
I was walking down the hallway of a hotel many years ago and a sweet, young, exhausted mom was exasperated pleading with her 4 month old baby, saying, "Go to sleep, go to sleep!" At which point the exhausted baby cried louder and louder.
I offered to hold the baby for a few minutes and to give the mom a break. She quickly gave the baby to me. I held the baby tightly in my arms and held it against my cheek and gently rubbed his head while singing softly into his little ear, and swaying gently back and forth. Immediately the little one relaxed its stiff body and listened to my voice and within 5 minutes was sound asleep. All mamas get exhausted and find babies who are inconsolable. She had given her all.
Different children require different responses. I observed that my very introverted, creative child took longer, even as a baby, to focus on me. I learned to work with his personality and to get on his eye level, gently get his attention, and then clearly state what my expectations were. He was happy to comply, but he did not always hear me or notice me the first time.
My third child, I eventually learned, was ADHD, OCD, and a few other letters. But being harsh never, never made him more mature or able to change his behavior. I learned that the more I poured into his life--affection, time, listening, talking—the more able he was to obey. I learned that if I was patient and gentle and helped him--holding his hand, using words of encouragement and gentleness, I could lead him in obedience.
When babies are touched and loved and sung to and talked to and have regular routines and regular, healthy diets, they are much more happy all the time and responsive to instruction. However, when a child has not received these basic needs, the only means of a child letting his parents know he is not happy or comfortable with his life is to whine or cry. When I am around generally healthy children whose needs have been met, it is obvious because they seem more content with life. All children are immature and will misbehave, and pages and pages could be written about the subject, but these are just a few of my thoughts.
My last thoughts on this today and then I must run to my day. Jesus' life is my example. There was a lost world because His children rebelled against Him. But His love and compassion was so much a part of His character and being, He was compelled to come to save us. He fellowshiped with His disciples, loved them, listened to them, confronted them, corrected them, fed them, taught them, and laid down His life for them. Because of their relationship with Him, and their love for them, they were willing to lay down their life for Him and His kingdom.
His love compelled them--it was a long-term process, this one of securing their obedience and hearts, but their hearts wanted to please Him and obey Him because of what He had meant to them. And so I did write Ministry of Motherhood, reflections on Jesus' method to secure the hearts of His twelve. It has been a study over many years. And today, from my quiet time, I am again humbled and blessed by His active, redeeming, sacrificial love that redeemed me.
His model to me as a parent, "Greater love has no one than this, that He lay down His life for his friend."
I hope you’ll enjoy today’s podcast as Misty Krasawski joins me to discuss parenting our children from toddlerhood through the teenage years!
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Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.
Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!
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April 22, 2020
Cultivating a Heart to Serve & Podcast
Happy Day! It just happens that today when I was writing about a servant heart, my sweet friend popped some flowers by for me as a surprise that made my day.
Sometimes we wrongly think that being good, doing the right things, feeding and clothing our children, are the spiritual things we “do” with our lives. Yet, it is our heart work that really matters. Do we have a heart to encourage, to support, to listen, to play, to help, to understand. These are the qualities we observe in Jesus. He came to serve, not to be served.
It is in pondering his life that I have found a model for motherhood to follow. But it is also the life of Christ I helped my children to imagine so that they would learn the motivation to serve others as Jesus did.
I ponder His story: Bending his knee on the hard, dusty floor, Jesus face creased in deep thought as he grabbed a rough towel. Longing to reach the hearts of his beloved friends, He knelt to touch them, to serve them, to feed them, showing the depths of His love for them through his gentle, intentional gestures.
Now before the Feast of the Passover, Jesus knowing that His hour had come that He would depart out of this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end ...Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come forth from God and was going back to God, got up from supper, and laid aside His garments; and taking a towel, He girded Himself. Then He poured water into the basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. ~ John 13:1, 3-5
Jesus' call to His disciples was compelling; a call to lay down their lives, to serve, to experience rejection and even persecution. He was asking them to believe something that would eventually cost each one of their lives--that He, a carpenter from Nazareth, was actually the Messiah.
The darkness of the evening must have matched his heavy heart? And so what did He do ... before breaking bread and pouring wine, before letting Himself be broken?
He washed 120 toes.
What an example for us as we live life with our children!
"Jesus was going to transfer to His disciples the responsibility of taking God's message of redemptive love to the world. But instead of just telling them what to do, harshly commanding their allegiance with orders and threats or guilt and manipulative statements, He chose to tie the cords of His heart to theirs with the strong and unbreakable bond of a loving, serving relationship.
Jesus spent His last night on earth with His disciples in service to them. How powerful their memories of that night must have been--the King of the whole universe touching and rubbing their dusty feet and gently drying them with a towel. Their Lord and Master breaking the loaf of bread and serving each of them for the celebrated feast of Passover.
Jesus' example of servant leadership set Him apart from so many historical religious leaders. He was not a God who lorded it over His followers and demanded they follow Him or coerced their obedience through authoritarianism and fear. Instead, He called them to the excellence of holiness and yet lovingly served them in order to win their hearts and show them the means of reaching others' hearts as well.
Contemplating the hearts of my own children and seeking to teach them about the grace of God, I realize my love and service to them must come before any of my great words, my teaching and training. My time, my attention, my "soft-tickling"--even when I am tired or have other "important" things n my mind--is what builds our relationship and prepares them to listen to what I have to say. Only then, once the wells of their need are filled with the grace of being loved, will my words to them about God's grace finally make sense."
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April 21, 2020
The Green Ember Inspires Again! S.D. Smith & Podcast
Please note McDougal’s in the back. So much fun.
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Sometimes when you are just going about your own business and living a normal day, you find that God has hidden sweet surprises to delight you along the way. Sam and Josiah Smith were such sweet gifts from God. We were gathering at this tiny little fried chicken joint, (Did you know that I just love friend chicken and consider it a delicacy par none when done well?) and I was trying to decide tenders or pieces and how many, a dozen or so? :)
God ordained this friendship and we mark the time we met every year when we all attend Hutch Moot, hosted by Andrew Peterson, and finish our time together at the end of the weekend, eating too much, talking as fast as we can and enjoying the sweet fellowship of families that love one another without expectation or reserve.
Sam and I talked about so many things in the podcast today and I hope it encourages you as it did me.
Sam authored the Green Ember Series that has noble and adventuresome stories about rabbits with swords. Our son, Joel, as you will hear, became the audio reader for all of the books. He has thoroughly enjoyed interpreting them to the world. Joel also wrote a cd of music to accompany the series that I love to listen to, called Melodies For the Mended Wood. It is fun to imagine the rabbits going on their adventures through the lilting melodies.
This series inspires and creates pathways of the best virtues we all hope to embody: wisdom, love, courage, perseverance, and so much more. Your children, and you will love the books. The last book was just released, The Ember’s End. (You can buy the book or get it on audible and hear my son, Joel, read it.)
Find out more about Sam and his #RabbitsWithSwords adventures, The Green Ember Series, by visiting his website SDSmith.net.
Find Sam on social media: Facebook: @SDSmithAuthor Instagram: @SDSmithereens
You can purchase Sam’s books on Amazon or at his web store: sdsmith.net/store. Listen to Joel’s incredible performances of The Green Ember, Ember Falls, Ember Rising, and Ember’s End for FREE if your library uses Hoopla or Overdrive (may need to recommend).
Get free downloads here on Hoopla link: https://sdsmith.net/hoopla/
Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.
Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.
Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.
Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.
Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!
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April 20, 2020
How Are You Coping? & Some Silliness With Joy & Me & Podcast
How are you coping? How are you making it through this sequestering away for Corona Virus?
Today, Joy and I had fun talking and just comparing notes. We shared our restless thoughts, our comforts, our complaints and the funny things happening in our lives. I promised to try to keep podcasts going during this time and we had lots of fun recording this one for you.
I think when I get out the first thing I want to do is go to my favorite little cafe, have a strong cup of coffee and enjoy. Joel said a restaurant with friends. Nathan and Keelia, anywhere that is out and about, a cafe, some place to go, something to enjoy.
The Clarkson clan wishes you a happy Tuesday and hope you enjoy our ponderings.
Remember, the giveaway is on for a week. Enter for your man. Share this post, share the book, buy the book—whatever you want. And leave comments on Nathan’s fb page and or here. Good luck.
Buy a copy HERE
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April 19, 2020
Capturing Kid's Hearts For God: Nathan's Birthday Giveaway & Podcast
Nathan and I always have fun together. A great memory at Christmas!
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"The only thing necessary thing for the triumph of evil is for good women (men) to do nothing."
Edmund Burke
“But the people who know their God will display strength and take action.” Daniel 11:32b
We have all probably heard the quotes above many times, but still, so true. Godly people take action because the Holy Spirit prompts them to become warriors of light, fighting against darkness. But how do we shape the souls of our children in such a way that we capture their imagination with the part in God’s story?
Passivity is a form of rebellion, and hiding our children from darkness is passive reaction of fear to what is happening in culture. We are passive as a choice we make when we say, “I won’t follow my ideals. I will not help. I can’t give. I won’t serve. I refuse to get my hands dirty or to live sacrificially. I don’t know what to do and I am afraid a secular culture is going to ruin my children.”
Either we are engaged in the battle or we are refugees from cultural pressures, afraid of entering in the fray. . There are times for rest, for regrouping, for restoring or renewing a vision. But to choose to be passive about serving God or standing up for what is right is to reject being responsible. Yet, how do we prepare our boys and children to be prepared to stand firm, to bring light, to stand strong.
Obviously I cannot speak to every situation in one small blog. But we observe in our culture that there are very few “Stand Out” heroes for our boys to follow. Yet, I think deep in the heart of most every little boy is a hero waiting to be let out.
I am so excited today to share about Nathan’s new book, Good Man, to have you hear our discussion on the podcast where we talk about how to nurture a strong faith and a willing heart in your children. I hope you will be inspired and encouraged.
We have the ability to call our own little boys (and girls) to their best selves. We need only look inside their hearts to see the courage, nobility, kindness, generosity that wants to be expressed through their lives.
Today, Nathan and I talk about what it looks like to be a good man and how to shape your boys’ hearts so that they will grow in their self-image to wanting to be a good man in their generation—a good man who is willing to be a part of bringing God’s goodness and light and morality back into a culture that longs to be led and taught.
Nathan:
One look at our cultural moment and it's easy to tell that men and their identities are in crisis. Though lost and fractured, men face the pressure to be perfect. Our reactionary society is quick to condemn and slow to forgive, leaving men more confused than ever about how to live and who to be. Yet in Scripture, we continually find God choosing to work in and through flawed, imperfect, and broken individuals. Men who had massive character flaws and significant moral failings, but who also shared one important characteristic: the desire to follow the call of their Creator.
With engaging personal stories and insight into biblical truths, Nathan Clarkson declares to today's man that he is more than what the culture is telling him he is--angry, selfish, predatory, violent, and bored. Instead, still on the journey himself, Nathan calls today's man to find his identity in the One who created him on purpose, for a purpose, and encourages him to live an honest, authentic life marked by a winsome combination of confidence and humility.
Today, we share about his new book: Good Man. Order your copy from your favorite book store now and grab a copy for your friend.
Nathan and I will be doing a facebook live on my Facebook fan page: The real Sally Clarkson
He is also doing an amazing giveaway—it would be fantastic as a gift pack to give to a man in your or husbands for Father’s Day. You can enter by following both of us on facebook and leaving a comment, tagging your friend on my page or Nathan’s page and you can follow us both and leave comments in both places. The giveaway will last for a week, winners announced on Friday. You will love these beautiful items—a fountain pen, a beautiful leather journal and a pocket knife and a walking bag to carry it all. .
Please share this with your friends to give Nathan a great birthday present and to help him spread the word of his new book during Corona Virus. Thanks so much.
Books Referenced in this Podcast:
More Resources:
Nathan Clarkson on Facebook
Sally Clarkson on Facebook
FOR MORE
Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.
Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.
Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.
Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.
Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!
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