Sally Clarkson's Blog, page 67

Living With Integrity

Pondering my walk with God, searching my heart for attitudes that are not worthy of His love for me, seeking direction from His word, is a regular, foundational search of my heart.

We live in a world that, from the beginning, focuses on what other people think of our lives, behaviors, and possessions. Seeking to keep up with the "Joneses" is age old. But scripture is so very clear that God wants our focus, our love, our heart to be on Him first.

Surrounded by a world that gives us permission to be self-centered, we glance at ourselves and all of our pictures on Facebook, listening for that little bing that says someone has thought of us---Hey, everybody, want to look at me and notice what I am doing and comment on my blog and give me higher numbers if I give things away? And, and, and …

We become our own idols and strive for recognition and affirmation. It is not wrong to desire to be loved and to belong. But Jesus meant for us to find our meaning in our family, our community of believers, our neighbors—those we serve in our own day to day lives. We were meant to tie our lives to flesh and blood people whom we spend our lives to help, so that we can better understand Him, who spent all for our sakes.

In the story of the Good Samaritan, Jesus tells of the lives of those who could pontificate and argue the law and wear the fancy robes that indicated righteousness, and yet He exposes the worthlessness of their teaching by pointing out their hearts which neglected those who really needed redemption.

Who has time to give to such a person as the man robbed on the side of the road? After all, we have our appointments, our priorities, our to-do-lists, and schedules to keep. "Just a minute,” we object, “can't you see I am doing something important?!”

“‘Let no wise man boast of his wisdom, nor let the mighty man boast of his might, nor a rich man boast of his riches; but let the one who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD who exercises mercy, justice, and righteousness on the earth; for I delight in these things,’ declares the LORD.”

~Jeremiah 9:23-24

As I read God’s words over and over again, I understand anew, it matters little what others think of me, if God is not at the center of my desire to live for His glory.

And so I am searching again to find out how to reorder my life to please Him, to discern what is the specific work He has given me to do right now, how I may invest in real people with real needs who are nearby, so that His loving touch will reach those in my immediate culture.

“What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul?”

~Mark 8:36

When I live in true integrity of following hard after Him, my children will see Jesus living in my home--not philosophy or curriculum or denomination or rules, but the real Christ who lays down His life, shepherds the sheep of His fold, and cares about real people.

True personal integrity comes from following hard after Him and obeying what He has called me to do.

What does integrity look like to you?

Advocate Or Adversary? How to Train our Children & Podcast

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“The One who knew said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.” Happy, that is are those people who know that their spiritual power is small, that their creeds are imperfect, that their instruction concerning God and man is incomplete. Happy are those who know that they do not know all of the truth,. For only those who admit their spiritual poverty are willing to learn. Agnes Sanford, 1897-1982

The older I get, the more I see my own propensity to be petty, selfish, small minded in the way I view life. Of course, because I love God, I have sought His wisdom, learned to obey His ways, sought to overcome my shortcomings. Yet, I see that He has been patient with me and is ever ready, because of His unchanging love, to receive me, to extend grace, to give me a place of peace and acceptance when I come to Him every day.

But, my shepherd, leads me beside still waters, He restores my soul. He is the one who takes responsibility for my training, my growth, my well being.

Seems that when I write on child discipline, I always get the most interest and controversy at the same time. I would never want to offend anyone, but it is a huge issue and debate amongst believers.  My desire is to offer, perhaps, some perspective and to encourage parents in this role. I never want to offend or hurt anyone's feelings, and yet, I have learned the a gentle answer turns away wrath. Our sweet children need our gentleness and patience even as we need God's.

But the questions keep coming: How do we do it? What is the method? What are the rules for every single situation, age, and how to match the discipline to the action? What to do? What to do?

And yet, I have realized over the years that the most important element to a Christian parent, in regards to discipline, is not the method, but the heart attitude towards God as a Father of us.

Let me define two words, though, that helps to define the way we look at God, and the way we might see our children.

Advocate: One who supports the life, cause, actions of another. To be supportive, for the best outcome of the one they are defending, serving, helping

Adversary: One who is at odds with, actively against, opposes or resists another’s personality, behavior or beliefs.

Advesarial Parenting

If one believes that God is works oriented, possibly harsh in correcting our sin, looking for what we do wrong,, relentless in pursuing our keeping of the law, then one will be more likely to be harsh in discipline, and feel it is an obligation of parents to correct and point out every flaw of character and immaturity of a child. It is a belief-- that  correct behavior is the goal. Consequently, at the heart of this method is control of the one who makes mistakes.  Many parents I know honestly believe in harsh discipline methods, with a good heart, thinking they are saving their child's soul. This is the parent who embraces adversarial parenting.

Advocate Parenting

However, I believe that the more a person truly understands the character of God and His mercy and love and patience and servant's heart as a parent toward his children, then one must adopt the role of an advocate towards their children as God is our advocate. Even as the Holy Spirit is our advocate and as Jesus lives daily to intervene and to pray for us, His children, so God is there to help us, to love us, to draw us, through His love and mercy, to His holiness.

Indeed, God is our advocate and models to us a parent's love that eventually ended for him in sacrificing His whole life for the sake of His children.

What about training? Obviously, because God wants our best, His spirit is constantly instructing us, convicting us, reminding us, blessing us as we seek to obey His wisdom. But maturity is a lifetime process, a journey from babyhood to adulthood and wisdom—even the way children were born reflects this.

We believed in cultivating a parenting style that focussed on our children’s hearts, their growth, their desire to please us and God with respectful obedience.

High love and high training was the way we sought to reach and train our children’s hearts. We saw the God given potential in each of them, the abundant design in their lives to become strong, holy, exhibiting the very character and virtue of God. That is why we wrote the 24 Family Ways—to give them leadership, instruction about the ways to live a godly life.

When a person knows what is expected, understands the concept and can grow in the direction of truth, the muscles of behavior become stronger. And so we sought to teach our children truth and the knowledge of basic righteousness. And we used this instruction to give them a way forward and to correct them when they chose to drift from the truth we presented to them as the ways of God.

In other words, it is:

Instructing: Teaching the ways and truth of God

Giving stories, metaphors to help understand this truth as Jesus did

Clearly helping our children to understand that they have a will, the ability to choose to obey or to rebel.

We helped them understand there were consequences to their choices: blessing if they chose to follow God’s ways, correction or despair and darkness for choosing to turn away. (life has its own consequences built in)

We corrected them based on what they understood and also according to their age and ability to understand.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, And even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 is known by so many of us. Training is a lifelong process. It is an instruction, correction, consequences over and over again sort of teaching—and understanding of it grows over time.

The reason God admonished parents to teach their children morning, noon, and night and in between was because he wanted them to understand it was a way of life sort of responsibility—

“And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These words I am commanding you today are to be upon your hearts. And you shall teach them diligently to your children and speak of them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.…” Deut. 6:5-7

First, His truth and ways are to be on our hearts because we are storing them up every day, through the years. Then, we are to gently give instruction, modeling, showing the ways of righteousness in all the organic ways we live in relationship to our world and to others.

Teaching isn’t just in a devotional reading for 5 minutes a day, it happens as a way of seeing life all day, every day, through all the years.

Even as Romans tells us that God is for us, (If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31) so our children long to know we are “for” them and that they can come to us at all times in all situations because they have learned to trust that we are their advocates.

And we remember that even as we are drawn to God because of HIs mercy and love, so will our children be.

“Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?” Romans 2:4

And so we become our children’s advocates, always for them, defending them, protecting them and helping them grow as we extend the mercy, kindness and teachings of God.

We see that King David was a man who often sinned, who made mistakes, who asked God for forgiveness, but who sought God with all of his heart. And David saw God as the great sheered who cared for him, led him, restored his soul. Psalm 23 is a beautiful picture of our God as a shepherd caring for us, His sheep. And so we seek to understand this relationship that we might shepherd our own children.

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The next months, I will be repeating the 24 Family Ways as a foundation for passing on truth and wisdom to our children and also as an objective way we may train, correct, lead them forward in the ways of God.

I will also be doing a special podcast series on biblical concepts, based on the life example and words of Christ, that I hope will lead all who listen to biblical concepts that give us direction and leadership in our ways.

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Does My Sacrifice & Hard Work of Ideals Really Matter?

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Does it really matter? All the days of messes, children bickering, seeking to form beauty out of chaos? Living through one more sleepless night only to find more demanding hours awaiting living through the same things all over again?

Or the endless, relentless days of cooking, cleaning, serving, correcting, and then repeating it all over again?

Or, the journey, even now, of working through relationships with beloved adult children, issues bubbling up, difficulties abounding, the risk of being misunderstood or even, possibly, the lifelong work unnoticed or misunderstood?

Now, after almost 40 years of marriage and 37 years of motherhering, I know that every kiss, every tender, gentle moment of talking and being patient, every late night feeding, every midnight discussion with my bewildered teens and adult children, that it all matters profoundly. What would a world hope for if there were not great women committed to serving, civilizing, bring beauty from chaos & believing courageously in the truths of God, even during dark times? Brave women are building a legacy of faith, love & goodness. Now, as a grandmother, I hope I can help bring about one more generation with a legacy of the knowledge & practice of seeing the goodness of God.

I know that it matters, because serving my children and giving my imperfect best gave them an opportunity to ponder God and to grow beyond my meager offerings into their own potential for living truly in their generation. There is a sacredness of marriage, of family, of faith, of the life of human beings born into the world as tiny, dependent babies. And we give worth to these truths by days upon end of being faithful in small places. I was young and now I am old and I see that it matters most.

Your faithfulness matters. Your choice to trust God is ringing out cheers in the heavenliness because it is so rare. There is no formula and no guarantee of exact results and we do not control our adult children’s choices. But they are more likely to follow truth if it has been lived out in myriad moments of serving, loving, feeding, listening, praying, teaching faithfully over years. The moments of lifegiving relationships, truth discussed, virtue modeled, happens over thousands of days, many years, lots of laying down of life. Today, you are writing your own story of faith and faithfulness.

Join me today and be encouraged in your own life to live faithfully. I am praying for you.

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Let's Understand God as Out of the Box

 I keep coming back to this concept: I meet so few people who, when I am with them, influence me to want to love God more, be more idealistic, and live more by wild faith and life-sacrificing love.

And yet I find myself amidst so many who are overloaded with the mundane tasks, feeling bored, and dead of soul...

When the life of Jesus is in our midst, there is a palpable crackle in the air, a sparkle to the lights and shadows of His dance amongst us.

Imagine--the creator of the universe--the one who played games with galaxies and atoms, designed romantic love and many-colored roses and sunsets--He in our midst.

And yet, most people I know (including me so much of the time) live as though their feet are tied to the ground by heavy loads of duty, works, "shoulds", guilt and worry and sighing, comparing, inadequacy, and boredom.

He did not create us to live in such a way. He came to give life--and life abundantly.   The joy of the Lord is to be our strength--and yet--what have the voices of this world done to our joy?

How have we been affected by … The "how- to's" instead of lessons in humility and redeeming the lost? The “great accomplishments” instead of the faith exhibited?

Who in your life points you passionately, irresistibly, into the arms of a loving God, a gentle shepherd, a compassionate Father, an interesting artist, the God who longs for us to live, celebrate life, exist above the present mundane, and to perceive the invisible life of the Kingdom He is shaping through us for eternity?

Is it any wonder when college students lose their faith because Christianity has been for them a list of moral rules that do not captivate imagination or stir hearts that long to find purpose and to be a part of a great cause?

Do we focus on laying on guilt? Living by works? When it is He--Jesus--the Life--that we were to be living incarnationally, realistically in our home by relentlessly pursuing His love in our actions?

Knowing Him should create in us a powerful sense of life, excellence, and expectancy from a heart filled with faith, love, and anticipation.

So, I ask you today--are you finding deep fulfillment and a bubbling up of love from deep within? A feeling of heaven meeting earth in your home right where you are today? Are you sensing the pleasure of God as you see the color of spring and all the beauty surrounding the moments of your life?

It is only in pursuing Him, the Life that comes into the world, enlightening every man--not rules or laws or formula or morality---but the Person--who has so very much more to offer those of us who would leave all behind, and sell all that we have to grasp and hold fast to the pearl of great price.

To find Him and to live vibrantly in the reality of His ways and His presence requires living out of the box.

So, how about you? In the box or out?

I Just Love a Great Story! Perhaps Ours Will Someday Be Told

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

St. Andrews is one of my favorite places in the world. Surrounded by ruins of ancient buildings, located on the wild sea of Scotland, it is bubbling over with stories of courage, faith, heroism and it is wild and glorious to hear these tales. Walking along the beach and then warming over coffee, Joy told me of amazing stories of a legacy of women who gave their lives in early church history to raise and train those who became church leaders who transformed the world that we now inhabit. They were women who lived bravely and chose to be strong against all odds, who have gone before us to tell us that our lives on earth can shape destinies.

I just love a good story. All of my life, I have been able to lose myself in captivating stories. And when I would read a heart moving tale, I would dream of living a story worth telling.

Scripture is full of dramatic stories of bravery (David and Goliath), romance, (Ruth and Boaz), courage (Moses stepping into the Red Sea with a couple of million children, animals, adults chasing screaming behind him being chased by the strongest army ever known), and more.

Each of us is living a story. Each of us can make decisions that will place us into the Lord's hands to accomplish His own stories through us in our lifetime. Maybe your story doesn't feel exciting at this moment or strategic in light of history. But most of the people who were recorded as heroes of the faith, were normal people amidst normal life circumstances, who trusted God even when the others surrounding them were naysayers and could not see Him.

The story that will be told about you in the future depends on the story you are living today.

In other words, the truth is, the story you are choosing to live today--whether it requires excellence morally, courage to endure, faith to believe, or love to overcome, will become your integrity or lack of integrity tomorrow. You cannot have a story of faithfulness in your future or with your children or grandchildren--tales of faithfulness and courage and moral character and discipline and sacrifice that made a difference in your own family history--unless you are living that story with faith, moral excellence, self-discipline, sacrificial love today.

To live a story worth telling, you must reject the voices of the world that shout so loudly in your head, and you must choose to live in holiness to please an audience of one.

All of  us love to hear great stories.

Your children long to see you as their heroes—those who inspire, live with courage, bring truth to bear in your generation. Each of us has a part. You will love the tales we talk about today and perhaps someone will be telling your faithful tale to others who need courage to live as women of valiance and light. Enjoy and be inspired.

. They will love to tell your story to their own children someday. So choose today to live the story that you want to be told about you in the future.

Meanwhile, I am off to live my story.

Following God's Parenting Philosophy: Learning From Jesus

Click here to listen to today’s new podcast episode.

While sitting on a park bench with one of my adult children, as usual, we were philosophizing about life. But the words I heard, touched a deep conviction I have held my whole life.

“Mama, the thing that most opened my heart to God was watching the way and Daddy lived. You adventured by our side and pondered issues with us, saw beauty, chose to love, asked for forgiveness, learned and discussed theology while honoring our thoughts, celebrated sunrises, sunsets, served people, feasted—it was a whole life approach to a believing life.”

The way we live, the relationships we have, the values we hold, the character lived out in our lives, the way we honor all human beings, reflects what we really believe to be true about God. You cannot separate your life from your faith. Yet, it seems that many are supposed “Christians,” but what distinguishes those who claim this from those who know God and live out His reality, those who are disciples of Christ and His ways.

Much of what I was taught to believe as a young Christian has changed dramatically. I realize that much of what I was taught was prescriptive, (in a theological box) but not necessarily what I found to be true in the Bible.

Yet, when we ponder Christ, we learn so much about parenting and truth, and what it looks like to follow hard after His ays. God is the greatest Giver of love. He is a provider—look at nature; the garden of Eden with all its animals and colors and food crafted for our pleasure. He gave us ideals, as we see through scripture. He saw that we were lost and falling and ultimately, He came amongst us, giving up all the comforts and honors He held in heaven to serve, wash feet, feed, laugh with, and encourage His own precious disciples.

Our life with God is not measured in the rules or goals or laws that He gives. But, as the Author of these ideals, and bound up in His love and care for us, God uses truth to work on our hearts. He demonstrates Himself through Christ in a relationship with us as a servant, a husband for the bride of Christ, a friend of the common people with whom He broke bread.

He comes as the servant king, the one who lays down His life, the one who is humble and meek.  As a good parent, God gives us wisdom and guidance so that our lives will be healthy, strong, protected.

So God becomes our pattern for parenting. He served and loved and sacrificed and gave of Himself, so that we would long to be holy out of our gratitude and reverence and love for He who provided us with everything. He called His disciples to serve, to love, to give, and to be holy. He did instruct them and train them, but it is no wonder they wanted to follow them to their deaths. He gave them true life, beauty, and love that filled their deepest needs and longings to live a purposeful life. He never asked his disciples to do what He had not first done himself. His life modeled His instruction and admonitions. He served and gave and then asked them to do the same.

And so after three years of intense friendship, when he said, "Greater love has no one than this, that a man lays down his life for his friend," they had heard it, seen if modeled, felt the benefit of it, seen the integrity of it in their teacher, and so they willingly embraced this high ideal.

Consequently, it is not in getting the rules right or in defining all of the rules and theology that will make our children want to serve God. It is in laying down our life for them, serving them, listening to them, loving who God made them within the context of a call to holiness, that will secure in them a desire to love God with all of their hearts. By seeing our love, they will more easily understand and receive God's love, as it will already be familiar to their hearts and brains.

How might you show your children the love of Christ anew, this weekend?

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Family Culture Takes Time to Build

Home is the living environment that ties our heart strings to one another and to the place that we belong. To develop such a culture over a lifetime draws our children not only to the memories, but to the messages and values that we embrace together in this loving community. Family culture is comprised of the rhythms of life kept throughout the seasons. For us, it was a daily tea time; devotions in the morning; hot candlelit dinner together each night; piles of book baskets everywhere; loud, daily discussions on every topic; back scratches; homemade treats always awaiting them and their friends in our home; Saturday night pizza and movie every week; spoiling the children on birthdays with the morning cinnamon rolls; shepherd's meal on Christmas... in other words, it was a lot!

The world is calling out to our children in a million ways every day—with media, values, philosophy that is in contrast to a basic biblical value system. The reason we work so hard to build traditions and to create fun and heartfelt rhythms is because we want them to be tied not just to our home but to the messages home helps them remember. ⠀

I have seen that when my children need companionship or advice or just a close friend as adults, it is the practices that we shared over many years that have drawn them back to us, to me, to our love, and to our mutually held faith. And in the space I am still able to speak into their lives over and over again. Each child is different and no one will conform to the family culture without a foundation of love. Yet, if we are to hold hearts faithful, we must aim intentionally and work diligently and wisely to be used by the Holy Spirit to keep their hearts strong, protected, and sure. Cultivating life every day in large ways snd small ways creates the heartstrings that will draw them to your values. Not one day is wasted.

.⠀

Accepting Your Own Reality in Marriage

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“Above all, be fervent in your love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sin.”

 About Marriage:

One of the subjects people have asked me to speak about most often is marriage. Perhaps I have avoided it because it is such a vast subject and there is so much to say and I would need a lifetime of free time to write all the thoughts I have.

Yet, I have written down just a few admonitions I have been thinking about the past few days because it became a discussion with a beloved friend of mine here in the UK as we were pondering what were the most basic ideals of marriage.

Most marriages start out with at least some idealism and romantic expectation. Mine was no different. Clay won me with bouquets of yellow roses (I was his yellow rose of Texas), romantic cards and lots of dinners out. He put a lot of effort into the winning of me. And of course, I think we put a lot of imagination into how amazing our married life will be and how almost perfect our spouses will be.........

 And then there was life---17 moves, 6 internationally; 4 children and 3 miscarriages, (I had morning sickness all 9 months of pregnancy), almostdied from blood loss from one miscarriage and had to be in bed for 2 months. We have had deaths of family members, car wrecks, financial challenges, illness, a fire in our home and even 3 floods in our house, church splits, relative problems, ministry problems, and lots and lots of stress.

 Nothing quite prepared me, as a very immature, untrained young woman, to know how to bear all of the stresses we would face just by being a family.

 It was several years before I realized, "This is it? It is not going to change--these are the defining issues of our marriage, our children, our family and they are not going to change?"

And yet, I had been taught to seek God’s word, to pray and to obey and live in wisdom.

Here are 5 short admonitions I have jotted down that I think can help a marriage that is going through a hard season. So much more to be said but just some simple thoughts that my friend and I discussed after having been in marriages and ministry for many decades!

1. Just like salvation, You should work out your marriage with fear and trembling.

Take it slow, take it seriously—it is one of the most profound legacies and stories you will ever live in reflecting faith, love and beauty in your lifetime.

2. No one is perfect but everyone wants and needs to be loved.

That means you, your spouse, your children, your friend. Be humble, love generously, forgive often, learn to practice grace as a way of life.

3. Maturity grows slowly over a lifetime not in the heat of an argument.

It takes a lifetime to really learn the depths of love—give yourself time to grow. Don’t react to every situation.

4. Don’t store up resentment for a rainy day. A violent storm destroys life.

Don’t stuff things and keep a score card—it will end up in devastation. Write in a journal, learn to communicate in a way that you can solve your differences peacefully and at the time of discord. And don’t over react.

5. Your children are watching you to learn how they should relate to others, especially when they are older. Patterns can last a lifetime. Enough said—and it is true.

6. Never make a life-changing decision in the midst of drama, depression or difficulty. Wait until life settles down and remember that marriage is a long-life legacy—not just a spur of the moment reflection of passionate moments. Always give something time, time to change, time to simmer down, time to forgive. Don’t make decisions prematurely.

Early, I learned that my marriage was a place of worship where I could either seek to bring God’s love, healing and grace every day because of my love for Him, or I could just live as a hypocrite and say that I was committed to God and would serve Him---except in marriage because that was just asking too much!

 I think there is a point when godly women must understand and embrace, “This is the reality of the puzzle I had been given in my life and in my marriage and this is the story I must stay in and live to the fullest and with grace."

I can either live and bring light, life, beauty and redemption into the situation and to this husband—with all of his flaws and all of my warts and decide to show God’s reality in the midst, or I can live in disappointment and destroy hope, happiness and joy—because the reality is, that in a fallen world there will always be stress and sin-but I do not have to let this define my happiness or contentment.

All children long to see their moms and dads love each other and be partners in life.

The reality is that all marriages are filled with potential challenges and difficulty. Yet, how a woman responds to her marriage will determine if it is a place where the light and beauty of God’s love will be shown. I believe one of the glories of women is the opportunity to spread the gracious spirit of love and peace as a fragrance and evidence of life in her home. It is a beautiful grace of godly women to behold--the fragrance of unconditional love and the art of spreading light, even in the dark places.

It is all dependent on the way a woman sees her lot in life--as an opportunity to worship and bring light or a place of complaining and discontent. And a critical spirit wreaks havoc in the children when they live in such a spirit on a constant basis. The will of a woman to choose grace is possible only if she is looking to God.

 Love covers a multitude of sin. Love is a perfect bond of unity. They will know you are my disciples by your love for one another. All of these verses apply to marriage as well as to all relationships of life.

Bringing Out the Song in Your Child's Heart - With Joel Clarkson (and Podcast)

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Walking on the wild beaches of St. Andrews, Scotland, relishing the distant city lights, talking as friends has delighted me this week as I have visited Joel, my beloved son. We have been close friends and adventured together for many years as familiar companions.

When you first hold a baby in your arms, you can not even imagine the talents, personality, strengths, faith, antics this child will have as an adult. Yet the miraculous and mysterious process of loving, training, cultivating skills, inspiring your children over many years results in a full-fledged adult that you could not have perceived in their earliest moments.

I remember driving to the beach in California with Clay searching out a parking place and I giving a speech about how we all needed to stay together and hold hands when we got to the parking area. At that moment, Joel, 18 months, started singing “Twinkle, twinkle little star,…” in perfect pitch all the way through. I wondered in that moment, “I wonder if he will be musical? Maybe I should cultivate that in him.”

Fast forward through many moves, many divergent seasons and I never did as much as I could to totally cultivate his obvious musical talent—time just kept passing, and busyness ensued. We did invest in music organically in our home and Joel shares that today on our podcast. But it is a miraculous process to see your children’s talents and drives progress beyond what you could imagine, beyond what you could have imagined. I think it is a miracle—we give God our limitations, our “fish and loaves,” so to speak and He makes it more than we ever could have on our own.

You will love the song he shared at the beginning of the podcast that he wrote and he and Joy performed. We talked on today’s podcast about this new album that he composted and recorded with Joy over the time of Covid when they were locked inside their flat. The music is stunning but also a picture of something wonderful that can come out of a very difficult time when a plan is made and creativity and a desire to encourage come together. I know you will be encouraged, as I was.

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Lighten Up, Mama!

My children are naturally given to enjoying life and giggling and doing loud or outlandish things and of course making messes along the way. As a mom who is busy and has an agenda, I am usually in a purposeful, intentional "get my list done," sort of mode.  Two of them are great clowns and make us laugh all the time--if I am in the mood to laugh!

I remember once when I came into the living room where my children were all lounging and talking and munching on snacks and giggling together, after we had just returned home from a trip. It was really a lovely moment--and now in my mind, going back to that memory when we were all small enough to gather on one couch and laugh together, I would give a zillion just to have them here doing such a thing again. My boys always liked it when I admired their silly jokes or really looked at the books, songs, pictures, youtubes that made them laugh. It was a willingness to  entering in to their worlds and a validation of their moments.

But, the house was all awry and as I walked into the house, I was taking on General Mom and putting aside "easy going" mom and  my sense of humor or willingness to celebrate life.

I ignored their contented togetherness and took on my best authoritative voice. I meted out all that would need to be accomplished--bags unpacked, clothes washed, house straightened, mail sorted, rooms cleaned, groceries bought, and I was just starting.

My oldest son looked up at me and said, "Mom, don't worry, we will get it all done and then it will just get messy again and then we will get it all done again, but please just lighten up a little and enjoy a few minutes of down time. We love having you join in our revelry. We just got home and we are just having fun for a few minutes--just a few minutes."

"When you are happy, we are all happy and when you get upset, we all start feeling generally guilty. So lighten up, enjoy us, and we promise we will help you get it all done."

I took  his advice. Guilt never motivates or makes my children work more effectively.

Looking at them at each stage--really looking at their quirky smiles, their unique personalities, their bizarre jokes, making time to enjoy life and finding eyes to see the small fleeting moments of each stage of life deprives me of contentment, joy and the blessing of having and enjoying these who have indeed become my best friends.

Oh how I wish I had fretted less and laughed more. I am off to look for reasons to smile and laugh and join in, amidst all of the endless work.