Sally Clarkson's Blog, page 66

Kindness: The Act of Choosing to Be Benevolent to Another, For Christ's Sake

Have kindly affection one for another with brotherly love, in honor preferring one another; Romans 12:10

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Every once in a while, God shows His very personal kindness , personal provision, in ways in my life that I would not even known to ask for, but that are considerate of me in very generous ways. Sometimes you just need something you didn’t know to ask for. My friend, Jacqui, is such a gift of kindness to me. We originally met a few years ago when I was visiting in town and offered to meet women at C. S. Lewis’s house to speak for an hour and to host a time of encouragement. About 50 women showed up, including Jacqui. We have been friends now for several years.

I am naturally independent by nature. I am used to taking care of many details and working hard. Recently, I have found myself experiencing great pain through an incidence with my lower back, a ruptured disc and a sciatic nerve issue. It hurts when I walk, even when I sit or move. I hate to be vulnerable and a burden on others. Yet, here I am. I must wait until someone brings me a cup of tea instead of going down my steep steps one more time. I have to order taxis instead of walking places with my family. And I need help shopping for groceries, as usually I do it on foot, as we are without a car.

In comes my friend, Jacqui. She has shown up at my house bringing me treats, groceries, taking me to places in her car, carrying bags for me. She comes early to my Bible studies to help set up chairs, treats, and to make tea and coffee. She even scours charity shops to find extra mugs so I can have real china to serve everyone present with a beautiful cuppa.

I was thinking the other day how much her unexpected and unasked for kindness has meant to me. Not only do we have fun together each week as she drives an hour from London to be with me, but her kindness to me in a very challenging time has touched a deep place in my heart. Giving to me out of the benevolence of he own life without me having to ask is a picture of Christ to me.

So, we went out to celebrate by splitting breakfast goodies and coffee at a favorite restaurant together. We even found a bush filled with these beautiful flowers as we were walking toward the cafe.

The word of the week is Kindness which is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate, thoughtful to meet needs without being asked. Kindness exhibits a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person: a kind and loving person. having, showing, or proceeding from benevolence: kind words. indulgent, considerate, or helpful; humane (often followed by to): mild; gentle. Most of all, though, it is an actual representation of what Christ is like lived out in the real moments of life. He expressed His overwhelming kindness to us out of his “kin-ship”, special love for us, his beloved children.

One of my favorite verses speaks of kindness as one of the ways God draws people, (our children and friends) to Himself: Romans 2:4

 Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and [ a ]restraint and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?

There it is—kindness leads us to repentance, bowing our knee, believing in God’s mercy because of HIs kindness towards us.

Kind from “kin”—related to, relatives—benevolence to those close to you—God is Kind toward us because He sees us as His own—And so, when we ingest His kindness, we pour out God’s kindness to others because of His loving kindness to us. 

Here are some of my favorite “kind” verses. Memorize one or two and write down ways you will show the kindness of God this week.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.

Ephesians 4:32

Luke 6:35 But love your enemies and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil people.

Ephesians 4:32

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Colossians 3:12

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,

Proverbs 31: 26

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

As I end this week, Joy & Clay have also shown exceeding kindness. She has served me tirelessly, made meals, endless cups of tea, Clay has washed dishes, shopped for groceries, organized our lives. I am seeing how much kindness means to me—to be served so sweetly, without any malice or resentment. it is the kindness of God I have experienced, and now I am more than ever moved to learn to become more kind, considerate in active ways to others who need my attention.

Who needs your thoughtfulness, kindness this week? How can you display it to your children? Your friend? Your husband? God bless you, my friends.

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5 Tips for Building Friendships With Your Children!

“Mama, do you still love me?” is the question my children have asked me if they have failed or had doubts or stumbled on life’s path—and all of mine have at times and all of our children will.

Love, unconditional, present, active, steadfast is what will keep them coming back. If my heart and life is a safe haven, they will come back because they have learned that I am their forever friend through it all, no matter what. But there are practical ways in which we practice giving love. Here is some of what I have learned.

Time and Availability Whatever the age, children develop better when they know I will make our time together a priority. People grow close not through monitoring one another’s behavior but by working together, playing together, talking together, celebrating together, weeping together. Relationships develop when people are there for each other—and that’s as true for parents and children as it is for anyone else.

Acceptance and Unconditional Love In building meaningful relationships with my children, I must learn to accept unconditionally the person God made each of them to be—even with personality traits that differ from mine or that make me uncomfortable. I need to accept the “warts” and irritating characteristics that may never change. I have to love my children with a mature commitment that reaches past my feelings for them, which can change from circumstance to circumstance.

Affirmation and Encouragement I believe most children are acutely aware of their limitations and their failures. While they often need correction for their mistakes and even confrontation for their sinful selfishness, they also need recognition for their real efforts and accomplishments and positive reminders of who they can be with God’s help.

Grace Our children need us to give them the grace to grow. If we make them think that we expect perfection, then eventually they may give up trying to please us, because they know they will always fail, or they may spend their whole lives feeling guilty for their failures.

Relationship Training We need to consciously train our children in the skills and attitudes that will enable them to sustain positive relationships. A person can only experience true intimacy when his heart has been deepened and exercised in real love and commitment.

The Chosen With Dallas Jenkins

Click here to listen to today’s new podcast episode with Dallas Jenkins, creator of The Chosen.

Have you ever wished you could bring the personal love of Christ before your children in such a way that their hearts will be shaped by Him? Longed to make His stories real, His words memorable in a way they will remember their whole lives? I’m so excited to tell you about a wonderful resource that has accomplished just that for our family.

As I look back on the lives of my children, it was a visual, real life experience that has lived in their memories since they were little. Stage lights shined brightly and focussed on Sarah, 9, and Joel, 7, as they entered into their roles of Lisa and Billy each Friday and Saturday night for three years. They played grandchildren as their grandfather told them the stories of Christ in The Promis for 2 1/2 hours on a large professional stage each evening to thousands of people in the audience. Nathan entered the stage numerous times on cue when children were called upon to be in a scene in the live and narrative of Jesus. Clay and I and even baby Joy participated and all of us were deeply impacted by participating hundreds of times, entering into the reality of the words and life of Christ as seen through the gospels. These words of Christ, enacted night after night, became a reality in their hearts.

There is something very special about engaging in visual reality of the New Testament stories. No longer just words on a page, but the characters in the story become more real, live in a context of life and have an affect on our lives.

That is why I am so very excited to talk about the new series, The Chosen, today on my podcast with the Dallas Jenkins. Dallas Jenkins is an American film and television director, writer and film producer. He is best known as the creator, director and co-writer of The Chosen, the first multi-season series about the life of Christ, and the most successful media crowd-fund of all time. His career is focused on faith-based media.

Last spring, in the fullness of Covid restrictions keeping us at home, our family began to watch this amazing series. All of us were deeply touched by the heart-felt stories of the people living out the gospels and we became engaged in the beauty and excellence of the quality of the productions.

Millions of people all over the world have been brought closer to Christ through this transforming story so beautifully presented in full color through episodes that draw us into the intimacy of the stories Jesus lived. I hope you will watch it with your family.

You can find out all about it HERE @ https://watch.angelstudios.com/thechosen. Watch it, support it, tell others about it. And be sure to listen to the podcast with him.

This Beautiful Truth With Sarah Clarkson

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Every parent dreads the day when their children will say, “Mom, I have been having some doubts about God.” Yet, all of my adult children said this to me at one time or another. As I look back, I think it is a sort of right of passage. How can our children own their faith unless they tackle the hard problems we see in culture.

Sarah, my first child, deeply pondered the question, “How can there be so much evil, pain and suffering in the world even though God says He is light, beauty, goodness? How do the two co-exist? How can one have hope amidst dark and devastating times?”

Of course, these are questions many have asked throughout history. And yet, as I look back, all of my children’s doubts and wrestling with God led them to a stronger, surer faith.

When Sarah first came to me, I said, “God loves you so much. He is not threatened by your doubts. He wants you to know and. understand Him deeply. He has answers to your doubts. But I will believe for you and be your friend.

But then, Sarah’s doubt turned into a deep understanding about God’s love and goodness that it became a book. It is wonderful, inspiring, and filled with personal stories as well as deep theology.

Beauty has been an theme that Sarah found through her journey towards a stronger, more vibrant faith in God. Her story includes personal stories about some of her most difficult questions in life as well as a foundational faith she found in God as she searched for answers to her souls deepest struggles.

Here is a summary.

We live in a broken world. Amid the daily realities of sickness and isolation, disappointment and pain, it can be profoundly difficult to grasp the real goodness of God. But this is where God breaks into our darkness with beauty. In the wonder of creation, in art or film, story or song, in the kindness of his people and the good they create, God breaks into our pain in a tangible way, teaching us to trust his kindness and hope for his healing. Beauty is a voice singing into our suffering, beckoning us toward restoration.

In This Beautiful Truth, Sarah Clarkson shares her own encounters with beauty in the midst of her decade-long struggle with mental illness, depression, and doubt. In a voice both vulnerable and reflective, she paints a compelling picture of the God who reaches out to us in a real and powerful way through the 'taste and see' goodness of what he has made and what he continues to create amid our darkness. 'To recognize and trust God's gift in pain,' she writes, 'empowers us to create and love as powerful witnesses to God's healing love in a hopeless world.'

If you want to renew your capacity to recognize and encounter God's beauty in your life, this hope-filled book will show you the way.

Because I think this book will be so helpful and relevant to many of you, I am going to give away 5 copies. Please leave a comment here or on Facebook or Instagram and tag a friend. I will draw winners by Friday.

Purchase your own copy and read it with a friend!

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Helping Our Children Learn to Keep Their Heads

"If you can keep your head, when all about you

are losing theirs and blaming it on you.

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

but make allowance for their doubting, too … "

This poem, IF, by Rudyard Kipling, of which I have just quoted a little tiny bit, is one that I made all of my children memorize--and we reviewed it over and over and over again.

Right is always right even if no one is doing it, wrong is always wrong even if everyone is doing it.

We are called to have a different character, a constant one, one that reflects the very image of Jesus, and yet, in this crazy world, there are many irrational, unloving, critical, exhausted, weary, discouraged, immature, mean-spirited, untrained people wandering around. How I have been embarrassed by supposed Christians, even in the past couple of weeks!

I have seen lately, in the lives of my children and friends, some being overcome by very difficult situations and people who unwillingly become a tool in the hand of Satan to discourage and destroy the faith, hearts, and well-being of others.

And yet, for those of us who have lived long enough, we know that this is part of the common "tribulation" and stress Jesus was referring to when He said, "In this world, you will have tribulation, but take courage, I have overcome the world."

And so, if we can keep our heads, knowing that love covers a multitude of sins, continuing to live in grace, and knowing that we and everyone else we will ever know will make mistakes on a regular basis; if we keep living out the liberating grace of the freedom and blessing we find in the abiding love of Jesus, then we can always have peace and the ability to keep giving life to others, just as He did.

Overcoming evil with good, loving beyond measure, forgiving and being a peacemaker, living with practiced faith, again and again and again—this is where we become more like Him, our very dear Savior, and it is here we become true warriors who redeem.

And so, I highly commend this entire poem, to plant into your brain and those of your children, so that you may have grace in your soul for facing this world and conquering the challenges that come your way.

Words have such power to bring life and inspiration and power--I just love words!

(and thank you, Rudyard, for penning this poem for my own well-being and for that of my children!)

Loving God with Wholehearted Devotion-Our 24 Family Ways #1

Inside Notre Dame Cathedral before the fire

"We love and obey our Lord, Jesus Christ, with wholehearted devotion."

Memory verse: "And He said to them, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your mind.' This is the great and foremost commandment." Matt. 22:37-38

Rainbow light shone through a multi-colored stain glass window which looked like it was a passage to heaven. Our normally wiggly, chattery clan became silent as they walked into the lovely chapel and heard the quiet music wafting up to the very rafters where the light was shining through. Oddly enough, the beauty, formality, and music hushed them and they sat mostly reverently through the hour-long service.

"Mama, you felt like you had to be quiet 'cause everything was so special, pretty, and respectful," piped one of my little ones, when asked what they thought of the new church we visited. This was the first time our family had ever attended such a formal service together, and it was enlightening to see what effect the sacred place of exquisite design and beauty had on the attitudes of my children.

Almost every time I read a story about someone who saw the glory of God, the effect of His blinding splendor was that they bowed down in fear, in reverence, hiding their eyes from the glory of God. The starting point for any real training must be reverence, respect, and proper awe of God, Himself.

With just one glance at the state of our world today, it’s clear that we’ve forgotten how to love — instead, we offer each other judgement, blame, and harsh words. It might sound simple, but the vast majority of our issues today stem from a lack of understanding of the importance of love, grace, and honor—giving worth that is due to God and those made in His image.

Preparing to become mature at loving God or preparing my children to become adults who knew how to love started with teaching them God’s most important commandment: to love Him with all their hearts, souls, and minds.

The Greatest of These is Love & Podcast

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As I walk with my sweet granddaughter, Lilian, through the parks, we walk hand in hand. I take time to play and listen to her stories or discoveries, and make every effort to fill her deepest heart with a sense that she is beloved to her Queenie, the grandmother name my children assigned to me (from a favorite series.). As I am with her, a memory and longing often arises from my own childhood, where I remember longing for love and intentional attention..

Cartoon suitcase in hand, stuffed with my pajamas, a favorite teddy and small items I considered essential as a little girl, I marched into our den and announced loudly that I was running away from home to find a place where someone would play with me and be my friend. Oddly, I can still feel what I felt those many years ago, (or perhaps it has expanded in my memory!

A deep hunger for attention, to have the eyes and focus of someone had been mounting deep in my heart for some time. Longing for deep love and affection,, for someone to talk to, someone to notice, a person who liked me, someone to make me feel seen was a feeling that lay underneath my little girl heart for as many years as I can remember. That longing was even what eventually led me to search for God when I was 18.

My mother & father sat reading their newspapers, (perhaps the last generation’s iPhones) and my older brothers were building some elaborate structure out of toys, ignoring my little stomping foot. I had supposed I would make a dramatic impact on them, but no one paid attention to me. My mother eventually, casually got up from her chair and murmured, “Do you want a snack to eat?” And my expectations of stirring up attention, sympathy, died on the spot, but the memory lasted a lifetime as a deep longing that no one understood.

My mother was from a different time in history and I know that she invested in my life the way she knew how to do. Yet, there was a deep desire, still, to have an assurance of her love in my little-girl heart.

We are all a bundle of couplex emotions and unique personalities. And yet, all of us were pre-wired with a longing to be loved, understood, appreciated, intimate with others who know us and our inner most secrets and share our dreams and our burdens. We hunger deeply for community and to have a place to “belong” is a part of our DNA from the design of God Himself.

Unfortunately, along the way, we stuff our need for such love, become busy or preoccupied and learn to be “unemotional” and unexpressive as we walk through our days.

When babies fail to receive the attention, physical affection and love they were prewired to receive, they soon fail to thrive and often die. If it was a need for infants to be loved in such a way, it is still a deep need of adults. It is a part of being human. Yet in the swirl of busyness, crowds of people, we can placate, cover over, rush beyond this deep down God-given desire, but often the scars of being ignored or neglected are still deep inside where few can see, and we set up barriers or walls that keep us from getting hurt.

I chose for my first word of this project “love” as the attribute we most need to embrace and cultivate. Though it may seem obvious that as those who would express God’s nature in our world, love is the most profoundly important concept, it is especially meaningful as as mothers, as our love lays the groundwork for emotional health and strength the rest of their lives. Love is also the foundation upon which our children build their view of God.

Hundreds of times, love is mentioned in the Bible. It is the pinnacle of the greatest commandments,
Jesus said it summed up all of the essence of the Law given through Moses and covered all of the issues of the prophets: do not have love, that we are to Love God and love our neighbor. (Matthew 22: 37-39)

If we live breathing the very depth of God’s love for ourselves every day, we come to understand that God’s love is essential to our understanding of Him, His heart for us, what drove Him to the cross, what He longs to share with us every day. Love is the essence of God’s very character. The more we understand it and express it, the more like Him we will be.

God’s love is called Agape. It is a greek word in the New Testament, considered the love of God for humans. In Scripture, the transcendent agape love is the highest form of love, from a father to His children.

Join me in my podcast today as I elaborate on many verses that speak about God’s unconditional and steadfast love as a model for what we are to grow into..

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God's Design for Mothers and Family

While living, traveling in Vienna, I am always struck by the beauty and quality of design in the buildings downtown. Each building was constructed with an elaborate plan that not only considered structural strength, but also beauty that validated the skill and craftsmanship of the architect.

Design takes intentionality, focus, purpose in mind. Intricate design creates beauty and form that give substance and long lasting elegance to place. I have been struck with how much we have lost the ability to value God's original elegant, purposeful design for home and family, yet we are not even aware of what we have lost because we lack a perspective or memory  of the beauty of the original design and what God intended it to be.

When God created the heavens and the earth, He created it with minute and detailed intricacy and order. There was color and form and beauty woven into every aspect of His creation, as an expression of His own life.

The pinnacle of creation, though,  was crafting man and woman in His image. And with this image, and relationships amongst those who would be His children, He created order and beauty within the structure of relationships called a family--a father, a mother, and children, and generations of family connections.

God's design is intricate, beautiful, complete. The purpose in giving these relationships was to provide a community of security, comfort, pleasure, inspiration, purpose, and belonging. Family was the perfect design before the fall, before there was any sin in the world.

Mother was the first name of the woman. Mother, by its very nature, embraces the giving of life to another outside of herself--a real live human being whose life will have implication for all of eternity. Motherhood requires accepting children as a gift, and giving them life--spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and moral.This is the greatest civilizing and most beautiful work a mother can perform. And when she skillfully builds a soul, by taking the time to give structure, beauty, and excellence to the life of her children, their souls will emerge with the very imprint of God's image and capacity for excellence in their lives.

And that is why we must return to the original design of motherhood and family. We must get into the heart of God's design if we are to manifest His purpose in relationship to our children, and value them appropriately, as God intended us to do.

Our 24 Family Ways Introduction: Foundations That Cannot Be Shaken

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What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul?~Mark 8:36

Integrity: The quality of being strong and having strong moral principles; having soundness and wholeness in faith, word and deed.

Two groups of women have been meeting with me in the past weeks and I have also had personal appointments here in Oxford. Seeing a deep need for leadership and direction, I want so much to reteach the necessity for foundations. When a house is built on a strong, immovable foundation, it will, as Jesus said, not fall amidst many storms.

How do we give ourselves and our children a strong foundation or remind us and them of our foundation that will carry us through the many political, moral, spiritual and emotional storms of life in the years ahead? By remembering scripture, pondering it, tucking it into our hearts and building our lives around it again and again.

Many years ago, Clay and I dreamed up the idea of Our 24 Family Ways as we discussed our desire to disciple our children as we walked along the path of life together. As parents of young children, we wanted them to have strong foundations of godly character and an understanding of what it meant to please God so that they could develop integrity. It was one of the most important ideas we wanted to convey, as we knew Integrity is something that is developed over time. It must be taught, practiced, and lived over many years in order to grow strong and vibrant.

Our 24 Family Ways as a book grew out of that foundation of working through a simple way of teaching the most important ideas of Christian discipleship to our children. You can find a copy for your family at the link below, and for the next several months I’ll be sharing its major concepts here and on my podcast each week. I hope this will be a blessing to you as you train your own children and grow together in these areas!

I have learned the most about integrity by pondering my walk with God, searching my heart for attitudes that are not worthy of His love for me, and seeking direction from His word. We live in a world which seems to have walked away from the ideal of true integrity—actually being what you appear to be, truly and from the heart. Our world cares more about what people think we are than what we actually are. Seeking to keep up with the "Joneses" is age-old. But scripture is so clear that God wants our focus and love to be on Him first, and then on the very values of His heart.

Paul spoke of his need to remind believers again and again about the same truths so that they could keep afresh in their hearts those truths from the Bible that would never change, hold them fast, give them direction and a way to flourish each step of the way. Because of the turbulent nature of cultural storms, I feel this series is something that will encourage you and has kept me going forward through many seasons of life.

I hope you’ll enjoy this series!

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Shaping A Beautiful, Meaningful Life

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Subdue: To work and rule over something in such a way as to cause it to flourish. Bringing order out of chaos.

“Mama, home was the place where my faith was ignited, my heart was filled with love, my mind was stretched to think profoundly, and my life was filled with beauty and goodness in every possible way. I never knew until now how much work, effort and vision it cost you. Thank you for doing all the hard work, Mama. It was a gift to all of us.”

What deep joy filled my heart as one of my adult children reflected upon this as we were walking together in local parks. I’m not sure they could appreciate it when they were growing up in my home. As I look back over my life as one who was responsible to bring order to my home, to bring harmony in our relationships, to create beauty in the midst of a dark time, I realize that much of my time was like wrestling to tame a wild beast. It was almost never easy, often looked messy from the outside and I was often so very weary and drained.

Yet, the more I understood that I was fashioned by God to bring life, to be a representation of His presence in the world, to see my domain as a place of influence and a place where human beings would be shaped in order to thrive, I could keep going. As long as my vision was clear and growing, my energy to pursue that vision kept coming one day at a time. Now, I see how very much it mattered.

Many have never understood what the point of motherhood was to begin with & feel lost. The demands of home, family life & motherhood presents endless work and challenge, with no end in sight. We can feel lost without a clear vision of why it matters to God’s beautiful and ultimate plan. We lose our personal identity without a sense of purpose. It is way too much work and effort if it doesn’t have an ultimate purpose or bring meaning to our own lives.

But what if God designed home, motherhood, family to be the foundational community upon which society was to emerge from—a place of truth, goodness, virtue, and wholeness? What if we were specifically designed to be caretakers of such a task because of the valued sacredness God placed on women because of His great esteem for them and their potential influence?

As women, one of the defining qualities intrinsic in being made in God's image, is the divine ability to create, to cultivate, to subdue, and to bring order from chaos. We are to take all of the raw materials of our lives and to craft them into something beautiful.

So, as being in His image, creative like Him, when we want to display a small bit of the divine through the beauty of our home, or the love He reflects through our own relationships, it encompass all of the moments of life. We rule over our domains in such a way to have order, rhythms, traditions, anchors in our schedule that provide for this divine reflection through the ways we have ruled over and subdued our own personal realm.

The Spirit of home,  stands at the doorways to compel those outside to enter into a place of life, comfort, rest, beauty.

But, you say, "My life is already so busy, I don't have time to add one more ideal."

The dilemma, then, is how to weave beauty, color, celebration into an already busy life, Understanding why we take the trouble to bring His spirit's presence into the moments of our lives gives emotional and spiritual fuel to keep going through all the years.

Today’s podcast is a clear and inspiring reflection of our purpose, our call, our significance to God’s ultimate plan.

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Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!