Sally Clarkson's Blog, page 43

Advent with Malcolm Guite

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Today on my podcast, I am reintroducing you to my friend, Malcolm Guite, a scholar in Cambridge, a poet and very winsome and informative teacher. You will love hearing about why and how we celebrate Christ throughout the church year. This podcast has been a favorite in the past couple of years, and now it has become a tradition to play it again, to bring all of us from the dark world, into the light of Christ’s reality.

Advent mirrors the quiet but soulful longing that grows deep inside where no one sees. We cry for the touch of our creator amidst the whirlwind of trying to make it through one more busy day. Painting a smile on our face, we stuff down the cries that remain silent to those around us, where we want someone to notice, to care, to save us.

We must open our hearts to expose the doubt, darkness, questions to find Christ humble, gentle, waiting to comfort us.

Advent is a joy that helps us hope.

Advent is when we give voice longing in our hearts. Advent is also when we confess our own participation in the brokenness of the world. Advent, then, is not only about longing for Christ to come again and put everything back together; it’s about repenting and receiving grace so that we get to be put back together now.

But there’s one more piece. Advent is not only about longing for Christ to put the world back together, not only about repenting and letting Christ put us back together; it is also a chance to participate in bringing wholeness to others.

As we enter the Advent season, could we as the people of God, be a part of the answer to the longing in people’s hearts?

The first candle that was lit was the purple candle in the Advent wreath as a symbol of Hope. Whether we sense God or feel a great void or doubt about his presence, we believe He is the hope of the world. The longing we have in our hearts for this world to be set right will come to pass. There are brief glimpses of Joy that remind us of this hope. Until then…we wait.

Find Malcolm here.

Tea Time Tuesday: Just One Cup

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Teatime Tuesday—Just One Cup

It was one of those seasons of life: financial pressures, my teens’ hormones and emotions abundant, exhaustion from 2 children with the stomach flu, a house moving towards chaos, piles starting to build up—you know this sort of season. It was one of those times I felt discouraged to my toenails and wondered, “Does anyone care how much I give every day to keep us all afloat? Is anything I am doing making a difference in anyone’s life?”

I walked downstairs and heard music playing. As I turned to the living room, I saw candles lit, my favorite blue cup steaming with tea. What? A mirage?

A Clarkson child emerged, pajama’d but smiling: “This tea is for you. Read the note! We promise we will give you 30 minutes by yourself!”

The note read,

“Dearest Mama,

"I have watched you care for the kids with flu, making dinner last night, going to each bedroom to pray and bless, constantly giving out. I knew you were exhausted. You give so much to us every day. We don’t notice and forget to thank you. I thought you might like a cup of tea by yourself before you started your day. We love you lots, mama!”

Tears spilled over my cheeks. I didn’t know how much I needed just a little bit of sympathy—to be seen, to feel my service to my sweet ones actually mattered and was making a difference.

Just that little cup of tea and half hour changed my whole feeling about life. Somehow, it felt less weighty, more possible.

My life hasn’t changed much. My sweet ones still have needs, issues, wants, and require a lot of me. But over years, I have realized how much just a little act of thoughtfulness, a few moments to refresh, has taken me through many seasons to give me what I needed to take one more step, to be faithful one more day. Recently, Sarah whisked me into the living room and said, “Let’s have a cup of tea and be friends for a few moments!” We sipped away. I remembered this day from long ago.

When Jesus said, “whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward,” I’m quite sure He also had in mind "whoever gives a steaming cup of tea!”

Happy Wednesday, friends.

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Choosing Lifelong Faith

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"Without faith, it is impossible to please God." Hebrews 11: 1

"Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!"

Luke 1:45

Each of us must choose faith to please God. If the risk that faith requires had not been taken, there would be no Jewish Nation, the same way we know of it. Abraham had to go out, not knowing where he was going, then he had to be willing to sacrifice his son on the altar. Mankind could have been decimated if Noah hadn't listened & obeyed. Noah built an ark, collected animals, against ridicule. The Jews might still be slaves. By faith, Moses chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He took millions of men, women & children, into the Red Sea with an Egyptian Army racing at his back. Without David's slingshot, Philistines would have won the battle.

In history, battles would not have been won, heroes would not have been made, Mother Theresa would not have ventured to India to show compassion to thousands. Amy Carmichael would not have retrieved girls from prostitution. Dietrich Bonhoeffer would not have written The Cost of Discipleship in prison. Children would not be trained and educated at their mother's knee. Marriages would have ended. Ministries would not have been established.

When God's spirit is alive within us, HE compels us to take ground back for the Kingdom of God. God's spirit drives us to redeem. He motivates us to give generous love, to work unto sacrifice that others might be reached with the kingdom messages. When people of God are moved by faith, to do His works on earth during their short lives, the world is turned upside down, by normal people who serve a transcendent, omnipotent God.

Without faith, it is impossible to please God. When people become passive, fearful, there is no power or mystery of the Kingdom of God sweeping over the world with life and healing. What is God whispering in your heart today, to accomplish by faith in Him?

Faith requires a listening heart. God is so willing to use normal people--who are listening, willing to obey. What risk will you take, by faith, to live a story that others will tell for generations to come?

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Tea Time Tuesday: Canticles to Memorize, Orzo, Michael Card & An Adventure

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“Tea: the Instrument through which great conversations are born.”

Sally Clarkson

Tea Time Tuesday: Cream Scones and raspberry jam—yum!

The Clarksons, I am sure, have been shaped in messages, hearts and faith primarily through discussions—and most life-shaping discussions were over the daily habit and rhythms of tea time or dinner. Tea is merely and instrument for providing a place to grow friendships and faith.

The past couple of weeks have been filled with sweet, and great and fun and serious conversations with Nathan and Keelia while they were here and with Sarah and Thomas and with friends and my Bible study—I have a way of life tea time sort of ministry! :)

What an adventurous week—today I speak of memorizing a canticle with your family, from the Celtic Daily

It will speak to them and comfort them everywhere they go the rest of their life.

Prayer:

Christ, as a light
illumine and guide me.
Christ, as a shield
overshadow me.
Christ under me;
Christ over me;
Christ beside me
on my left and my right.
This day be within and without me,
lowly and meek, yet all-powerful.
Be in the heart of each to whom I speak;
in the mouth of each who speaks unto me.
This day be within and without me,
lowly and meek, yet all-powerful.
Christ as a light;
Christ as a shield;
Christ beside me
on my left and my right.

Orzo Christmas salad. An unforgettable song. And adventure.

Friendship has been a theme of my life. Creating groups of like-minded women through hospitality, gatherings, reaching out has given me some of the greatest blessings of my life. Today, my forever friend, Jacqui and I speak of friend formation, and tell of our intentional and purpose-driven fun times and how it has shaped us, and we tell of a fun adventure too. Such fun. Hope it encourages you.

What rhythms have shaped you and yours?

I am loving this season—so much to be grateful for and so much to ponder. Let me know what you think about today’s podcast. God bless you all.

Happy week, friends.

Build a Long Term Marriage

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41 Years of Marriage.

Marriage begins with romantic ideals.

Then there is life—22 moves, 8 internationally; 4 children, 3 miscarriages, morning sickness 9 months of pregnancies, almost dying from blood loss from one miscarriage, car wrecks, financial challenges, illness, a fire in our home, 3 floods in our house, church splits, relative problems, ministry problems... stress!

Nothing quite prepared me, as an untrained young woman, to know how to bear all of the stresses we would face by being a family.

It was several years before I realized, "This is it? It is not going to change—these are the defining issues of our marriage, our children, our family and they are not going to change?" And yet, I had been taught to seek God’s word, to pray and to obey and live in wisdom.

Gary Thomas joins me today to talk about his book Making Your Marriage a Fortress.

Here's my best advice.

1. Just like salvation, You should work out your marriage with fear and trembling.

Take it slow, seriously—it is one of the most profound legacies, stories you will ever live in reflecting faith, love, beauty in your lifetime.

2. No one is perfect but everyone wants and needs to be loved.

That means you, your spouse, your children, your friend. Be humble, love generously, forgive often, learn to practice grace as a way of life.

3. Maturity grows slowly over a lifetime not in the heat of an argument.

It takes a lifetime to really learn the depths of love—give yourself time to grow. Don’t react to every situation.

4. Don’t store up resentment for a rainy day. A violent storm destroys life. Don’t stuff things or keep a score card—it will end up in devastation. Write in a journal, learn to communicate so you can solve your differences peacefully and at the time of discord. And don’t over react.

5. Your children are watching you to learn how they should relate to others, especially when they are older. Patterns can last a lifetime.

6. Never make a life-changing decision in the midst of drama, depression or difficulty. Wait until life settles down and remember that marriage is a long-life legacy. Take time to change, to simmer down, to forgive. Don’t make decisions prematurely. More on my podcast.

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Tea Time Tuesday: Preparing Your Heart to Face the Holidays with Grace

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Steaming hot tea shared with close friends brings a smile to your heart.

Sally Clarkson

Tea Time Tuesday finds me filled with lots of pondering and a crowded schedule that limits my ability to “get to the heart of it all.” Exploring an old working farm decorated to the core with Christmas fair booths, lots of sample tastes and lovely creaky rooms to explore added to the delight of the week.

I love Christmas because it gives me permission to stop all of the “daily” tasks to really open my eyes to the promise of what is to come. Today, as I was walking all over Oxford to meetings & to prepare for my Bible study dinner tonight, I felt prompted to open my eyes and heart to really “taste and see” as I hurried through the day! I am in Oxford. There is beauty, stories, people, inspiration to be had if I pay attention.

I love what Henri Nouwen said: “The Lord is coming, always coming. When you have ears to hear and eyes to see, you will recognize him at any moment of your life. Life is Advent; life is recognizing the coming of the Lord.”

So, this week, I am asking myself what I need to do to prepare my heart to be present to my people, ready to serve and to determine not to give into the weariness or demands.

There are lots of fun delights I share from my own discoveries—a fun movie for all who love Vienna, (Christmas in Vienna). It brought to mind favorite places, beloved traditions, special treats (Sacher torte) and the first Christmas cookie our family bakes and eats each year. Music too good to miss with a story. And these thoughts:

Five attitudes of the Heart to take into this season with you so that the month will sail smoothly.

Today’s podcast is loaded with ponderous thoughts and fun experiences. I hope you will grab a cup of something warm and wonderful and join me for a fun tea time together. Blessings and blessings as you open this new month of celebration. May you sense that He is coming to us with light, love and grace.

How do you best prepare yourself for the demands and work this month will bring your way?

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In the Cold of Winter Seasons, Find the Light

Cold winds have been swirling around with colder temperatures and the dark of early sunsets causing us in Oxford to prepare for some of the dark, damp winter days ahead. December holds beauty and meaningful advent celebrations as well as the possibility of feeling the weariness of busyness, and the relentlessness of daily life.

In my life as a mom, there have been countless times, I felt like I was not accomplishing anything productive from day to day. This is such a hard job, to love, educate and help shape our children's faith. It is especially challenging in a culture that offers so much differing advice, which then produce guilt and inadequacy. This same culture is isolationist and  provides few support systems or Biblical direction.

So many moms feel this way.

Five scriptures have been especially helpful to me when I am overwhelmed or exhausted—especially entering a demanding season like the holidays ahead.

1. “If God is for you, who can be against you?"Romans 8: 31

God is for you--for you. He wants you to succeed. He wants to work in your home. We are not adequate to complete the task of shaping our children's hearts, minds and souls by ourselves. When God's Spirit is working in our midst, He will take our fish and loaves, all that we have to give to Him, and together with Him, our labor becomes enough. He is for you, mamas, if your heart is to serve Him. He has compassion on you, knows your weariness, and is your champion.

2. "There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1

I wonder why we have the illusion that we are supposed to be perfect. Mamas, don't be so hard on yourselves! You will not ever be perfect or do everything right--not now, not next week, not even when you are 60! (Maybe when I am 70, I will be perfect1) And to live in guilt because you have blown it or yelled at your kids or made mistakes is a big drainer.

Your children will never be perfect, either. Love them as they are. Believe in them, touch them. Let little boys be boys, as you train them little by little to be heroes and leaders--civilization comes from a mama who treats them with respect, and gives them a heart to be dignified.

Let little ones be innocent and enter into their stages of life with joy.

3. "He lay down and slept under a juniper tree; and behold, there was an angel touching him, and he said to him, "Arise, eat." ~I Kings 19:5

Elijah was so weary from spiritual battle that he despaired of his life--wished he hadn't been born. But God knew he was exhausted, battle worn, and weary. So the first thing God did when Elijah poured out his heart to Him was to put him to sleep. Next, an angel touched him--physical touch, a hug, an embrace, a hand massage, a real massage, is a personal healer. I love it that God's angel touched Elijah and brought him physical comfort. God still didn't give Elijah a lecture--instead, the angel fed him.

Sometimes mamas have been going for so long without a break, they start breaking down! A wise woman will learn her limitations and learn to say "no" so that she does not live in a constant state of exhaustion. You can only hold so many ideals at once, so be sure to hold on the ones that matter. And do what you are best at doing--don't compare your life to someone else’s. You might need to start out your new beginning with sleep, a touch of gentle love, and eating well, perhaps exercising, and then take time to ponder and plan..

We are not just minds and hearts, we are bodies with limitations. If we over-exert ourselves, we will crash and burn. When others are taking from us 24/7, we must wisely learn that taking care of ourselves is essential to our emotional and spiritual and physical well being. This season, if you are tired, be sure to take a break--get some rest, seek some physical comfort and restoration, eat well. You deserve to be cared for--even if you have to plan for it yourself. For many years, I kept waiting for someone to give me permission to take a break, but that didn't happen. Finally, I took responsibility for my own happiness so that I could be happier and stronger for my kids on this long term journey.

4. "He who walks with the wise, grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm." ~Proverbs

You might need some inspiration, some help, some counsel, some perspective. Find someone older, more experienced, and wiser to meet with, and ask them to help you come up with a plan. Sometimes this is easier said than done. I have found that when I give up my pride and pour out my heart to wise people, I usually find compassion and often find help.

My mentors for many years were books. I was always hunting down books written by women or men older and more insightful in life. I determined to learn, and to grow every year.

This means being teachable, and changing when we need to. Find wise people, books, conferences, a church, the Word of God, and gain wisdom from them. Just decide to grow and progress every year; don't expect instant maturity on your part or your children's.

5."But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits." God's wisdom and leading lead us to peace, mercy and good fruit. Each of us must evaluate--what is stealing my peace? What is sucking my energy? How can I change it? This is a long distance run, not a spring--wisdom from above will teach you to pace yourself--and not to say yes just to please others. You are quite free to be yourself, live your own story, live within your own limitations.

What notions are misleading you? Boys are given testosterone from God for a reason--they are supposed to grow up and be strong! Work with them, accept their noise, invest in their hearts, don't try to control them--lead and inspire and train them little by little. (The 24 Family ways is a great tool for beginning to lay foundations for all the family together.)

What is not producing good fruit--your schedule? Your lack of rhythms and consistency with your children? Your lack of training with your children? Then put your finger on what is bothering you and make a practical step forward. How are you going to eliminate the stressors you have control over? How can you eliminate some of the drainers? What is one way you will become stronger and  more disciplined in the next month. Be very honest about what you must cut or quit doing or is your flaw and be vigilant about pursuing the wisdom that provides peace and good fruit. (part 1)

Welcoming Holiday Celebration with Joy

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“Tea is a sacred ritual in which friendship is treasured, hearts are shared and sweet memories are made.”

Sipping warm tea in my favorite blue hand crafted mug, while curled up in my pj's, I am listening to Christmas music, I am as happy as a clam. (how ever happy they are?!) Remember that bubbling excitement you felt as a child when you looked at a sparkling Christmas tree with presents underneath and anticipated Christmas morning? God Himself created us for pleasure and joy and comfort and beauty and all the deep down satisfying feelings of pleasure.He mounted a chorus of angels at the first birthday party of Jesus--He just couldn't hold back celebrating!

To me, Thanksgiving is the entry way to preparing my heart to be filled and renewed with a love for Christ. I need child-like excitement and gratitude to fill my heart again, so that I might bring light into my year ahead. Now is when I begin to play music that goes deep into my soul with words that point to the amazing incarnation of God become baby. I light candles galore and remember that He is the source of my light and goodness. I see Christmas as “preparing Him room,” indeed.

Part of my plan is to plan celebrations for each of my people, those given to me especially in my inner circle, times to affirm their deep value to my heart, ways to celebrate our friendship. Last week Sarah and I made space for a lovely tea time in London—hours to open the ponderings of our hearts to one another. And I have plans for all of my other lovelies that we might make time for one another amidst the “busy” of full lives.

Cherishing joy and creating it and placing pleasure into the difficulties of life is a way we become artists of light and beauty and creators in His image. Even as HE casts a glowing pink sunrise every morning for me to behold and honor and enjoy, so I can cast in the midst of darkness light, color and beauty that brings hope.

And so overcoming doesn't mean simply gutting it out, grinding our teeth in an, "I will make it if it kills me," sort of attitude.  It means crafting pleasure in the midst of darkness which eventually reaches our souls and helps us remember His light and beauty. And I have found that in the obedience of cultivating light and joy in my home and life, even when I do not feel it, invests in my eventual happiness because as my sweet ones around me, whom I serve become delighted in my life celebrations, my own soul becomes encouraged. I know it isn't Christmas yet, but I so enjoyed my George Winston Christmas album this morning in the early morning chill of dawn, and so it became a comfort to myself.

Today on Tea Time Tuesday, I offer an old favorite traditional Christmas album, that I listened to in my own home, (The Majesty and Glory of Christmas) tea sandwich recipes, a book of encouragement, Sarah’s favorite Christmas reads, Joel’s story about creating music, a Tea Time in London and why the train trips are some of the best part, and more. Praying blessing for each of you today, my friends. Jesus, coming into the world enlightens every man. Sending love your way.

Don’t miss this advent list of readings from Sarah:

Growing Gratefulness

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"What shall I render to the Lord for all of His benefits toward me? To thee I will offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving, And call upon the name of the Lord, Oh, may it be in the presence of all His people; Praise the Lord!

I have a hidden, sort of secret bench that I consider my very own. Hidden in a cluster of trees, it looks out over a very small lake where the swans, ducks and a variety of birds swim, cheep and chirp. Breezes whisper gentle melodies through the trees. It is my prayer and gratitude bench, where I can pour out my secrets and worship to God. It is good to give thanks to the Lord, indeed.

   I love Thanksgiving. Feasting, coziness, closeness all tied up together. Thankfulness is not always about big things, but is just a frame of mind about everything.

My children remember a time at a picnic when a friend of mine handed them a whole can of coke to drink. In our financially lean years as a family, my children used to split drinks or drink water—but never able to drink their own.  They turned to me with wide eyes and asked, “Do I get to drink the whole thing by myself?”

Remembering this recently, they commented, “We are thankful to have grown up in our parents’ lean years, when we couldn’t afford everything. It taught us to enjoy life, to really see every gift, every meal out, or trip, as something special.”

Giving thanks starts with a humble heart, one that does not demand but receives the gifts of everyday moments with joy. A grateful heart sees the fingerprints of God in normal every day circumstances, a lens through which we see life, people, simple pleasures as a gift.

Most often, people who are grateful have been taught to be thankful--to acknowledge a kindness, trained to give words of graciousness to those who have blessed them. Thankfulness requires engaging in looking for ways we might worship God, and then verbalizing our gratefulness, and showing it through our contentment.

This week, every day, notice things that God has provided, thank Him for each way He has worked & blessed your life.

May your heart be filled with the sweet peace that comes from being thankful, and may your food be delicious and your fellowship be sweet.

Goodness: The Power to Fight Darkness

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Welcome to Tea Time Tuesday!

Tea is the gateway drug to biscuits!

I love this little card and I take it to heart. Almost every afternoon with my cup of tea, I either chop a large brownie or piece of cake into 4 smaller pieces and eat one at each tea time. Sometimes a dark, chocolate salted almond piece of chocolate (40 calories) and it makes me happy.

Today, I speak of an amazing man who literally searches for treasures all over the world. Such a metaphor to a life of looking for all that is good and beautiful.

Sometimes we find ourselves, in the privacy of our own world, exhausted from giving and giving and giving in this world that so needs the love and light of Christ. I am not speaking of overcommitment, but of the hidden and real circumstances that are upon our personal lives that sometimes require us to make decisions of our will and out of a spirit-led heart, to keep going forward in God’s ways and in obedience to Him, one day, one decision at a time.

Lately, in some weariness of my own, from culture, circumstances, work, and more, I have been pondering that my life lived as a servant leader of God has required more of me than I ever thought. And yet, by understanding how to make decisions of faith, endurance, and steadfastness, I have seen the Holy Spirit allow me to be a part of His bringing light to the world through me—and so daily, I count the cost and keep giving of myself.

When we read in the Word, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good,” this is a call out of passivity to action and into engaging, to spreading the moral excellence through each aspect of our lives that God has called us to. Today, I discuss what that has meant to me lately. I hope it will encourage you.

A tea drink called London Fog, an encounter with a real live treasure seeker, a Celeriac casserole, a favorite playlist, a favorite fiction that encourages goodness in the midst of evil, —one of my favorites and some Churchill words, and so much more in today’s Tea Time Tuesday. Pour yourself that tea and have a biscuit or sweetie.

If you haven’t yet, be sure to order your copy of my newest book, Givng Your Words:

Giving Your Words: The Lifegiving Power of a Verbal Home for Family Faith Formation By Clarkson, Sally, Clarkson, Clay Buy on Amazon FOR MORE

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Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more