Sally Clarkson's Blog, page 41

Tea Time Tuesday: The Pathway to Becoming Mature is to Accept Advice

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Tea Time Tuesday

Three years ago, I had moved into a new house, a new city (Oxford), and a new country! I put out a notice on Facebook that I would be hosting a women’s Bible study in my home and I would love for anyone to come. That first night, 15 women showed up. And so it began…

Now, these lovely, fun, vibrant women are my best friends in Oxford. Tonight we were meeting for a monthly dinner (though we meet every week in between for tea and coffee). We were sending one of our members off to the US where she and her husband will start a new job.

About 40 women have been through our study. Women from 7 countries, different ages, backgrounds, and life stories, but all of us knit together by hours and hours of time invested in one another. Some of my friends gathered for a photo, some were behind the scenes taking photos, laughing, telling us all how to smile, etc. We are now a community of close friends.

I have been leading such groups since I was 19—50 years ago. I have been one of the richest women in the world because of the sweet fellowship and deep friendships I have experienced.

This is what my new book, Teatime Discipleship, is all about: creating a place where people can become friends, grow in faith, and find support and encouragement. I hope you will be inspired by the stories I shared in my book. I hope you will begin a group and find out who might be hoping for just such a group.

Today, I asked a few of these friends if they would share with you why they come every week in the cold weather, in spite of busy schedules, jobs, and responsibilities. It was so sweet to hear their answers. I hope it will also encourage you.

This is a very rich week for Tea Time Tuesday—one of the best movies, great music, good food, a hero to be inspired by, some of Clay’s and my story, and so much more.

Be sure to grab your own copy of Teatime Discipleship, share with a friend and join me and women all over the world as we start a movement of gathering with excellent women.

Tell me about your group that you meet with, or how you might plan to start such a group.

Have a cup of tea, and enjoy a few minutes of peace.

Teatime Discipleship: Sharing Faith One Cup at a Time By Clarkson, Sally Buy on Amazon

Why Teatime Discipleship Matters

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Today I am on my couch, sick, feverish, shaking, aching, still coughing like a smoker. It comes and goes—mostly comes. This is my third week. Evidently, I am not an unusual case. Joy brought me chicken soup, Joel made tea and gave medicine. Sarah's littles made me cards. Life! More fun facts about tea time discipleship today on my podcast.

A cold snowy day, before I came back to Oxford, brought to mind a cherished memory. I just brewed a cup of tea for Sarah and me. We, in our jammies, crazy bed hair, made a forever memory. We sat close on a couch, drinking out of real china cups, talked, shared dreams, looked at articles together in a magazine we both loved, admired a book she found at a second-hand store, and felt totally at ease in the comfort of our safe, close friendship. Amidst sipping our hot liquid gold, with candles lit, she and I just talked, giggled uncontrollably, shared our thoughts and ideas for almost an hour. She took my computer and played a favorite song for me that meant something to her, that she had listened to at midnight the night before.

She shared her devotional book with me as I couldn't find mine. I relished in her inspiring reflections about a passage in Matthew that caught my heart. My 69-year-old self has learned to love the worlds of my children. These times have given me a window to their souls.

I do not expect them to conform to me—I let them be who they are at this season of life, I have adjusted my own age expectations to enjoy, delight in who they are at every stage. It has brought me much pleasure. But I had to give up a little of my selfish self to enter their world. And so did God, who became Jesus.

Through Tea Time Discipleship, repeated over many years, we became the deepest of friends. It is a tool, a holding place for creating relationships, a hopeful expectation that “Mama wants to spend time with me, we shall be friends.”

Tell me how you shared tea with someone last week. Many stories are coming in about how you took the challenge last week & served someone tea. I talk about it today on my podcast—fabulous ideas. Leave a comment about how you hope to serve someone tea this week. Just a cup today.

Teatime Discipleship: Sharing Faith One Cup at a Time By Clarkson, Sally Buy on Amazon

A Family Culture of Love

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

 “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.”

~ I Peter 4:8

A cup of tea opens hearts for friendship to grow strong and deep.

When I say my children (and Clay) are my deepest, very best friends, I really mean it. Sarah and I have been meeting once a week for tea time, coffee time or whatever, once a week for over 20 years. She is my soul friend—and so are my other sweet ones. But it comes with intentionality, seeking to love well, using words of encouragement, seeking to understand. Take time for tea time with one of your precious ones this week. Rhythms build a family culture of love.

One of my boys commented after returning home for the holidays, “It is so great to be back in our family culture of love—no matter what conflict, difficulty, failure or attitude, I know I can come home to unconditional love. I have all of you here to support me, to accept me, to help me. What a grace to grow up in a family culture of unconditional love. I never knew how blessed our family was until I left home. We have so very much to celebrate together now that we are together again. I am so happy to be here to be able to restore.”

We were not a perfect family, we had conflict through seasons, but unchanging love was the holding foundation of our home culture.

All of us as families create a family culture of some kind. The traditions we keep, the meals we make, the routines we practice, the values we espouse and hold, the movies that are our favorites, the church we attend, the generosity we practice, the way we invest time, the company we keep—all of these come together to craft our particular family culture. We can also inadvertently create a family culture that is negative—a culture of anger, neglect, guilt, discord, disharmony, worldly values, and so on.

I have realized over many years that crafting a culture of love requires that I become the conductor of a loving, generous heart that leads all of my children to understand God's love. We model ourselves after the ultimate lover—Jesus. Toddlers to teens will question us along the way, but fervent love wins the day.

Lots of ideas on today’s Tea Time Tuesday podcast.

Teatime Discipleship: Sharing Faith One Cup at a Time By Clarkson, Sally Buy on Amazon

Tea Time Habit

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

I had great plans for making today’s post and podcast a really fun and engaging post. Alas, I was up 5 times in the middle of the night with that familiar ache that accompanies flu. And so today, I will take the hottest bath, wrap up in warm blankets and nurse my chest cold and aches and pains—oh yes, maybe it’s time for a cup of tea.

A while back, I pondered creating a movement of women called, “Just One Cup” and then found out the URL was already taken. I had thought, wouldn’t it be great if women all over the world took just one cup of something delicious or hot to at least one person a week, to love them, encourage them, make time for them—and still I would love to see a movement like that happen—maybe at least 100 women taking me up on the idea. But today, I will off to bed and try to get over this wretched virus. But meanwhile, consider asking one beloved—a friend, neighbor, child, husband for a cup of tea or coffee break even if for 15 minutes and tell me about it.

Over time, my teatime habit became a foundational discipling tool for me. Taking time in the middle of a busy day to focus on a real live person and share our hearts over tea or coffee became a way of connecting with other women, with neighbors, and especially with my children—and even with my swirling, hurried self.

Eventually, I developed the practice of hosting people in my home for tea. To say, “You are welcome at my table. I have prepared for you. I would like to know you” was a way of inviting people into my life in a personal way. Teatime discipleship became a habit of stopping, looking someone in the eye, and making a space that says, “I care about you.” It was also an unthreatening way to begin getting to know them, asking them questions, and gaining access to their hearts. And it was an unparalleled way to build and nurture friendships.

Deep friendships and connected relationships happen best when intentional encouragement is planned and given on a regular basis.

Thanks for all of the wonderful encouragement and texts and messages this week. You all encourage me so much.

Tea Time Tuesday: Humility: Becoming Like Jesus

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.”

C. S. Lewis

Teatime, for me, is about taking time to sit with a friend, to carve out peaceful moments where friendship can flow, deep conversations can be shared, where the soul is enriched by the precious time stolen from the busyness of life, and hearts are touched.

Today, as I have my quiet time, I am thinking about all of you. Many wrote me about how much my podcast on gentleness meant to you. Today’s podcast is a follow-up to that podcast. Gentleness flows out of a heart that is humble—one that says, “I want to understand you, learn from you, give to you. I am in the process of becoming little by little like Jesus—and I want to approach you with the same humility and gentle heart I have felt from Him.”

I hope today’s verses will transform your thinking about what matters as it has me. There is one verse where these two attributes are reflected together:

“Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.” Matt. 11:29 — We shall talk about this today. I would love your feedback about what you think.

Also, this week:

Unexpectedly addicting Heart Cookies, just in time for Valentine’s day.

If you have loved The Lifegiving Home, you will love Music for the Lifegiving Home on Spotify by Joel Clarkson.

A movie I love and a bit of biography by J. M. Barrie, the author of Peter Pan.

Graveyards, anyone?

A little bit of Oxford

Praying that you have a cuppa tea or coffee with me and enjoy a little bit of peace. Blessings, my friends. Something that seems to be true of my own life, the longer I live: “Life is a long lesson in humility.” (JM Barrie)

Oh, to be openhearted to be like Jesus—that is my prayer.

Try Not to Be So Hard On Yourself

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

“If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit."

-Galatians 5:25

I wish I could say that now that my family is older, we are always mature. Yet, I am still an imperfect mama, personality differences still exist and cause occasional clashes, my children still struggle with their issues. I still want harmony all the time! Yet, my home still has tension between my ideals and reality.

I realized long ago that if I didn't cultivate happiness through each day, I would never be happy. If I waited until all of my family were more mature, I might be waiting until Jesus comes back. The reality of living in a fallen world means that I must adjust my expectations to a fallen world or I will always be disappointed.

As godly mothers, we strive to make the best possible decisions, set the perfect boundaries, and have the correct rules that we believe will somehow cultivate "spiritual" children. However, we can't by sheer force or the right rules or the right devotional curriculum make our children spiritual.

There is a mysterious process by which the Holy Spirit leads our children to see their need for Christ as we seek to cultivate their hearts. But it is entirely led by grace, informed by love, and carried out by the help of the Holy Spirit.

The grace of God is given in spite of our circumstances, His peace comes when our difficulties would suggest otherwise. We walk in the power of the Holy Spirit and rest in His grace. This is the secret of seeing God's grace each day—living within our limitations with a heart of joy, knowing we are accepted by God, and expecting Him to fill in the cracks and make our faith work enough to raise healthy children.

God is my hope when I am out of control. He is my prayer-answerer when I am beyond my own strength. I live practicing joy because He is my audience and I want to rest in Him because He wants to be my adequacy.

And that is ultimately what I want my children to see—not my perfection, but my running to Him, living In His grace, loving Him in the midst of the muddles of life, so that they will know how to live when they are seeking to raise a family amidst the fallenness of their own lives and their own world.

I Believe in Pink & Darcy Dog

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”

-Audrey Hepburn

I have always loved this quote. But I might have started the quote with, “I believe in squishy grandchildren, the darlingest people there are. I believe in golden retrievers...” and so on. What are a “few” of your favorite things? (as Julie Andrews says!)

The grid through which we see life will determine how we behave in life. A long time ago, I realized that my children needed a happy mama. Since then, there have been many times when I've truly struggled to find joy in my days, but it has become a position of my heart to search for it.

Happiness is a choice that comes from a heart that desires to please God. Happiness is an attitude that, in the will, says, "This is the day the Lord has made! I will rejoice and be glad in it.”

More about this soon. :) Happy Friday

Tea Time Tuesday: Morning Delighting in Life

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.”

Proverbs 17:22

I wish you could have joined me early this morning. It was rather delightful.

The sun was not quite up and so I lit the candles on my dining nook table in my kitchen, poured myself a strong cup of tea (with sugar—I haven't died yet). I have put a small couch in my dining nook because it has windows that face my outside smallish garden. I sat quietly in the candlelight, music wafting softly in the background, and sipped my golden tea. Just then a small bird came hopping up to my window and sang a bird song. I took delight into my heart. I think it was an angel or God.

That is what I hope you will have today while we have tea together.

Joel and I attended church Saturday night because we planned a very fun, only pleasure Sunday. Cold, cold, cold weather means we always wear hats, but we did have lots of fun.

On today’s podcast:

Bagpipes bellowing. 

A sunset walk on the canal. 

A Sunday morning very frosted cinnamon roll.

Sunday roast is on the menu today. Also, pomegranate seeds, and kiwi fruit.

An indoor winter picnic story remembered. 

5 Ways to Brighten Your Day, to refresh you.

Today, we join Pooh Bear for a few moments as Pooh's purpose is to bring delight into the world. Milne, his creator, crafted stories after World War I specifically to bring joy to the world.

What are the most delightful, joy-filled books you know? Share them, please.

This week, I am on a quest for delight—for myself and my people. We all need some moments to put away darkness and to invest in beauty, fun, celebration. Determine that this will be a week when you bring joy, beauty, delight to yourself and your beloveds.

My Work is Never Finished

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Once, I was feeling a bit unseen, underappreciated, and had a ridiculous notion—I wonder how many meals I had served over my 41 1/2 years of marriage. I only considered a small portion of all the countless meals we served to other families, Bible studies, special dinners, but also family meals, and came up with over 200,000 meals in my home! That’s a lot of dirty dishes to conquer.

I never knew how long motherhood would be or what it would cost me or if I could complete it well. And I am not a naturally unselfish person—and was never trained for what I ended up doing. If someone said, “I want you to work a job that will require 24/7 for over 40 years, you will be underpaid, underappreciated, you will educate 4 children, have endless messes, hard work, sometimes loved and admired, sometimes the recipient of unjust criticism and anger—and it will be the most important work ever done in history…” I would not have known what they were talking about.

I had no idea what motherhood would cost me in time, heart, actual physical work, creativity, love, instruction and so much more. And yet, I am old enough, seasoned through the many years to be able to say it is the most profound work I have ever undertaken—to shape real human beings in faith, virtue and purpose in life over days, months, years and decades.

I am grateful for the example of Jesus, who shows us over and over again as we read of the way He interacted with His disciples that these little things... these unending, sometimes tiresome tasks moms face day after day... they can become holy actions as we offer them to Him. Every time we serve our children, we invest in them, building bridges from our hearts to theirs, helping their souls understand the love and grace of God.

As I look to the hearts of my own children, even as adults, I realize my love and service to them must come before any of my great words, my teaching and training. My time—staying up late at night for conversations, watching movies and discussing them, my attention, my "soft-tickling," laying in bed with my sweet ones, listening to their hearts when I would rather be in bed—even when I am tired or have other "important" things on my mind—is what builds our relationship and prepares them to listen to what I have to say. Only then, once the wells of their need are filled with the grace of being loved, will my words to them about God's grace finally make sense.

Teatimes Waiting to Happen

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Tea Time Tuesday:

“A teatime mentor is always on the hunt for more tea cups, and dealing of the friends and people where she will celebrate life over tea!”

Please don’t tell Clay—he thinks I have quite enough tea cups! I just couldn’t help it. I innocently passed by a charity shop (second-hand shop) and this little tea set called out my name (6 dessert plates, 6 cups and saucers, a cake serving plate, a creamer and sugar cup, all in great shape!). To top it off, it was 30% discounted and I got the whole set for $25. What a deal. I already imagined friends sitting together, bubbling over with ideas, thoughts, friendship abounding. Yes, teatime discipleship is what I have come to call it! Why don’t you come for a visit and hot cuppa if you are ever in my neighborhood?

After I arrived home in Oxford, I was looking forward to some warmer weather and a walking life. But my phone said, “Oxford Drizzle” (is that a thing?) and so the winds blew, my umbrella blew upside down 3 times, but I made it to my market and bought fresh blueberries, salad, goat cheese, walnuts and scurried home—wet as a rat when I arrived. Oxford drizzle!

Today on my podcast, I talk of the “jacket story,” my favorite quick winter lunch sandwich, a new book I am loving as a resource, my favorite new acoustic music channel on Spotify, and sweet, fun memories of my week here.

Many women have written me along the way to ask, “What if I have blown it? What if I am too late to reach the hearts of my children? My family? My husband? My friends? Is there any going back or making up for the ways I have blown it?”

And another question I get is, “What if I have done everything in my power to be a good mom, to train, to educate, to reach the heart of my child, and they rebel and reject all that I have taught them?”

One small podcast isn’t enough space to answer in depth these crucial questions, but at this stage of my life, I have learned that God’s word always provides truth, comfort, hope and perspective. This is a marathon of a life for most of us, but with every step, I come to see the loving, gracious compassion and sympathy of God at work. Most issues take longer than I want them to take—God rarely seems in a hurry. Yet, He companions us each step.

Sip your tea or coffee with me today and rest in His generous love. Praying for you all.