Kyle Michel Sullivan's Blog: https://www.myirishnovel.com/, page 89

Brain dead...

Today was a frustrating day trying to get GoodReads listings straightened out and not succeeding. So I'm just putting up another song by Wardruna...a group bringing forth ancient Norwegian songs that cut deep into me.

I listened to them when I was working on the first part of Darian's Point, for they bring that ancient structural vibe out so beautifully. Turn on the CC and catch the wording...

Changes...

Okay...first, I've input red pen correction of the long-form synopsis and only added 200 words. Doin' good. I'm not going through it, again; I could do that for the rest of my life, changing a word here and comma there. Not worth the hassle.
That was emphasized to me when I went into the Word file for Carli's Kills to change the ISBN and note it's a 2nd edition...and did a minor polish on the first chapter. I actually had to force myself to stop, save, save as a PDF and turn to updating the cover. I removed the barcode (Amazon provides their own)...and then adjusted the tag line on the back page and started to rethink the synopsis on it...and did a major kicking of self.
Meanwhile, notice finally came in that Ingram has removed CK from distribution. I had to send in a second request. So I uploaded everything for the paperback to KDP. I got an almost instantaneous proof to go over and am now awaiting confirmation that it's acceptable to them. There's some intense sex in it, so I made sure to note it's erotica as well as a suspense thriller.
I'm not deciding about shifting it to Kindle until after the first of the year. Smashwords is having a year-end sale from December 15-31 and I want to see how that goes. I've lined my books up with it, so all are at $0.99 each during that time.
If this turns out okay, I'll shift The Alice '65 over, next, in paperback. I'm still leery of Amazon and its quirks, but hell...if Ingram is going to start pulling the same shit I may as well go with the big dog.

Print and red pen the synopsis...

I printed the synopsis out and while waiting for my car to be serviced went through it with a red pen. Found more typos, of course, and a couple points that needed a bit of clarification, but once this set of corrections is input, I'm done with that part.
Next, I'm going to update the covers and text for CK and A65 and set those up on KDP. I'm still hearing uncomfortable things about Amazon and their algorithmic quirks, but I've got to try something and this will be it. Ingram isn't exactly giving me the warm and fuzzies, right now. I asked to have CK removed from distribution last week and have yet to hear back from them.
After that, I think I'll work up a preliminary outline for APoS Book Two, in Houston, then maybe Book Three, in Derry. Both are in second draft stage so I have them fairly well plotted out.
I bought a small bottle of Chilean Cabernet Sauvignon...with a screw cap! Had a glass as I watched a ludicrous 1937 movie written but not directed by Preston Sturges. Easy Living, with Jean Arthur and Ray Milland...and it was weird. Almost awful. A secretary has an expensive fur coat land on her head while riding in an open air bus (it's in New York) and people start thinking she's the mistress of the very rich man who threw it off a balcony to punish his extravagant wife. Chaos ensues along with nonstop misunderstandings that no one would even begin to misunderstand until all ends well.
It was free on YouTube so I'm not bitchin'. And the wine was good. I should have had some cheese and crackers with it. But now I've toasted this step in my success and I'm ready to move forward. Maybe I'll check to see if Warner Oland's Charlie Chans are on there. I had a full set of them but they got sold, in San Antonio, while I was taking care of my mother...as did 75% of my DVD collection. But if you need money to live...

Happiness...

I want to share something that surprised me. I went through the long form outline for A Place of Safety-Derry to streamline and trim. It was 29 chapters condensed over 16 pages and 8900 words long. I went over it in one swoop, today, also correcting typos...and in cutting it back I added 800 words and one page. My goal was to make it readable because I'm going looking for a mainstream publisher for this book, and it does flow better and gleans some of the emotional connections in the story. I feel it builds steadily to the bombing that nearly destroys Brendan, but is it too long for this sort of synopsis? I don't know, because...
When I hit the point where to be continued in book two is positioned, halfway down page 17...I started bawling. Lost it, completely. I'd never gone through the book completely in one go, before...it had always been in segments and chapters and bits & pieces until now...and when I finally got a full sense of the story, as it currently stands, suddenly I couldn't handle the fact that I wrote this.
I fucking wrote this!
A story about a boy, over six years of his life, and the way he is shaped and formed and made, in more than 580 double-spaced pages and nearly 133,000 words and years dancing with it and working around it and pushing through my doubts and concerns and fears...and I now had it in a state where it's close to being done. And I wrote it.
Me!
Fuck...I could not stop crying over it for five minutes, I was so fucking happy...and so fucking proud of myself. It's not perfect, yet; I need to do one more pass for clarity and consistency, but that's immaterial. I fucking wrote a fucking novel that I never thought I'd be able to write. And I am so fucking proud of me...and thankful Brendan never gave up on me.
Now I only have to make sure Books 2 and 3 match it.

Respite into rerouting...

While doing chores, today -- laundry, cooking, cleaning, dusting, all so damned domestic -- I also tried to figure out what to do about a couple of books I have up on Ingram that are not doing well, sales-wise. The Alice '65 sales died months ago, and Carli's Kills is going nowhere.  So I'm thinking of shifting them to Kindle and KDP to see if that will do anything for them.
I know part of the issue, if not the main part, is I don't know how to do marketing for them and cannot afford the cost of having someone do it for me. I'm still in the red on A65, and CK...it's a complete loss...so I've come to the conclusion that I should just bite the bullet and assign two of my last three ISBNs to set them up as new editions with KDP; at least Kindle doesn't require one for ebooks Make them as good as I can.
It just means I have to redo the covers by taking off the barcodes, and redo the texts by changing the ISBNs in them. I may withdraw the hardcover of A65, as well; it wasn't a very good idea. And I'll go through them and correct any typos I missed or were missed by my editor. One or two of the little bastards always manage to sneak through.
Might do the same for The Lyons' Den, as well, if this works out. Update the cover. It helps that Kindle has apparently stopped letting people return books they've read. Now the buyer can't have read more than 20% of the book, as I understand it. I better verify that.
Another something I'm considering is setting up How to Rape a Straight Guy under a new title, with KDP. Maybe call it Curt, and note on the copyright page it used to be HTRASG. Ingram still won't tell me why they stopped distributing it, but Amazon still has it listed. Meaning, 4th edition.
This is why I'm trying to set APoS up with a publisher.

Book One synopsis/outline is done

I have the full outline/synopsis of Book One completed, for APoS. I'll need to go back through it and do some cleaning up. Maybe simplifying. Each chapter keeps getting longer and longer. I won't post any more of it unless people want me to. I don't think it's very easy to follow the story in such a shorthand way.
Next, I'm going to do the same for Book Two, set in Houston. After that comes Book Three, which I know I need to add a fair bit to, when Brendan returns to Derry in the middle of the hunger strike. I'd like to have them all ready to show potential agents or publishers. I'm going to hit hard at that after the first of the year, once the holidays have calmed down.
I'm also shifting a couple of my books from Ingram Spark to KDP Print. I might do them in Kindle, as well, now that Amazon's stopped letting people return books they've read for a refund. Not crazy about it, but reality is these two really need a boost and access to a wider audience, and I can't get that through Smashwords and Ingram. Plus, I'm leery of Ingram after what they pulled with How to Rape a Straight Guy.
I'm feeling the need to complete my writing projects ASAP because I'm having more and more difficulty at the keyboard. It's like I'm developing a severe form of dyslexia -- missing words, hitting the wrong letter key, reversing letters in words and, lately, inputting combinations of letters that make no sense. For some reason, I'm prone to type could as caoudl, now, and I did and as wkna. That sort of thing. Makes me nervous.
I do wonder if I've always be a bit dyslexic or prone to ADHD or something. Such issues were not diagnosed when I was growing up, and I wonder if I just developed coping mechanisms that are wearing out. I asked my doctor about Alzheimer's and did the test, and I passed it okay. But that was a year ago, so...
I'm just old junker of a car and falling apart, finally.

A long section

I'm debating breaking the Danny chapter up because it's long, by my standards. 40 pages, as typed. But I'm not sure. I could remove the memory Brendan has in the second half...but not sure where else it would work. Still, here it is...
-------
Danny 
It's 1970, and Brendan turns 14 with celebration, including a cap with an Apollo 11 patch on it. He gives his Apollo 7 cap to Rhuari. Ma is still joyous about Michael Paul, and Mairead is pregnant, again, and let go from her job. Eamonn is at Queens. Brendan does half-days at school, works steadily at McClosky's, and still does extra jobs. While looking into repairing a TV, he sees Father Jack's Cortina nearby, even though the man is supposed to be in Dublin. 
Heading home, he sees Colm, Paidrig and wee Eammon heading up to Long Tower for some footy, so joins them. They see Father Jack drive past, on Bishop, with someone who looks familiar with him, then come across a moody Danny. Paidrig makes a funny comment then Danny attacks him. The others separate them then Danny runs up on the walls. Brendan chases after him as Colm and wee Eammon tend to Paidrig. In a bastion overlooking the Bogside, Danny reveals he knows about Joanna and tells Brendan her father is in the Ulster Volunteer Force, a virulent anti-Catholic group. Brendan fears for her safety, but Danny says he's told no one else about them. 
They talk about how the British are paying more attention to Protestants than Catholics, and how the Bodgside wasn't so much protected by the Army as made into a ghetto. It comes out that Danny was at a meeting with Father Jack and Father Demian, and he told of being molested by the latter one. It was denied and Danny's own parents backed up the priest, and Danny is torn up about it. 
Brendan recalls an earlier occasion when he saw Danny struck by his father during an argument and he ran off, bleeding. Brendan took him to an older woman's house to get him cleaned up then they went to Woolworth's for candy. But then Brendan said something wrong and Danny crushed the candy under his heel. They never spoke of it, again, but now Brendan sees it was part of a pattern and wonders if Danny's father blackmailed the church into giving him a good job. Brendan then considers the possibility something similar happened to his father at the orphanage he'd lived in. 
They share a joint and Danny comments on how Brendan sometimes seems to play both sides of the fence, especially now he's seeing a Protestant girl. He's almost back to normal but turns down Brendan's offer to go to the circle fort and smoke and drink and look at the stars all night. Danny leaves and the next day his family moves to Armagh, letting Mairead and Tur sneak into their house to take over. Eamonn takes over the hutch so Brendan is alone in his bed. He tries to find out more about his father but his mother furiously beats him and demands he stop. He does...for now. 
Hidey Holes 
The RUC is re-organized into the Police Authority with no real change. Demonstrations keep devolving into rock-throwing, which the Army is growing impatient with. Brendan's mother is drawn deeper into Nationalist organizations and harsher with her disparaging of him. With Mairead gone, the tension between them is on the rise. 
Eamonn comes home from Belfast and says he will not return to Queens. His clothes carry the scent of burned wood. Brendan knows what's happening there thanks to a news agent letting him read the Belfast papers, and asks Eamonn about it. Most of the fires were in the Ardoyne, away from Queens. Eamonn reveals he hasn't been at Queens for some time, and Brendan works out that he's joined with the Provisional IRA. He reveals he smuggled a pistol into Derry and asks Brendan to hide it. 
Brendan takes the pistol apart and hides it all over the house, in pieces. He also finds a box of bullets in the hutch and hides those, as well, irritated. He refuses to let Eamonn know where the pieces are because the push and shove between Catholics, Protestants and the British army is growing more and more intense. Bernadette Devlin is sent to jail for aiding in the Battle of Bogside and Derry is not happy about it. More families are burned out of their homes, and a British politician begins talking about an acceptable level of violence. 
Brendan and Joanna keep managing to meet, but on the Protestant of the Foyle, at Marianne's Tea Shop. They keep it going till Brendan's 15th birthday, in 1971. The first British soldier is killed. The Catholics are blamed. Bombs are now going off, almost daily. Cars are hijacked, Catholics rousted by the Army with some being killed, businesses on both sides are being forced to donate to their respective causes -- IRA or UVF. Aunt Mari stops sending money because of restrictions on mail. McClosky's is burned out so Brendan has no job, just the occasional work. The area is spiraling close and closer to full civil war. He wonders why stupid people are always in charge.

More of the outline/synopsis...

Continuing from yesterday....

------

Fleadh

Brendan bathes and sleeps better than ever, waking to find Eamonn also asleep, Aidan sleeping downstairs, and Tur in the hutch while Ma and Mairead fix their evening meal. Mairead gives him a cup of tea and peace is everywhere. The British Army is welcomed and the IRA disparaged with the title I Ran Away, thanks to their amazing lack of support during the battle. 

Word comes a celebration Fleadh will be held at the end of August -- Derry Merry; Derry Free -- in honor of their victory. A gable wall on Lecky Road is painted with You Are Now Entering Free Derry. Bands come from Ireland and England. Dances are everywhere, as is food. Discussions. Media outlets asking about what happened. People wander about, finally enjoying what they've achieved. There is still a lot of back and forth in negotiations regarding reforms, but the feeling is they now have forward movement. 

The second day of the Fleadh, Joanna appears with two of her friends and snatches Brendan's Apollo 7 cap to wear. Brendan is startled...then nervous because Jackie is coming over to find out who these unknown girls are. He makes up an explanation and Joanna plays along, flirting with Jackie and his mates. All is good, for now, so Brendan escorts the girls around the celebration then takes them home to the Waterside.  

Brendan is invited into Joanna's home. Their name is Martin and he claims to be Billy Corrie. Her brother, Charles, is suspicious but he impresses the parents. Even fixes a toaster for them. He leaves for the bus, proud of how he handled himself, but is caught up to by Charles, who finally recognized him from the bus depot. He is nearly brutalized but manages to escape and get home without much damage. Then he dreams about Joanna, again, knowing its foolish to want to know her...but thinking she's worth any trouble it would take. 

Joanna 

Derry's autonomy is accepted as de facto and life goes on. Mairead gives birth to Michael Paul and Ma is joyous around him. Brendan finds the checkpoints are difficult to deal with so lets Danny handle clients on Waterloo and up Strand Road; he already knows how to quietly bribe the soldiers with Marlboros. Brendan gets on part-time with Mr. McClosky's auto repair and both boys work with shopkeepers in the British Pound's change to decimalization. Father Jack was in the US during the Battle but comes back with his usual both-sides attitude. Eamonn, Jackie and Aidan are back at Queens. Colm's back to smuggling and makes sure Brendan and Danny always have Marlboros...for a price.

Charles tells his parents who Brendan is, but that doesn't stop anything. Brendan writes Joanna letters and has truck drivers post them in other towns, so there's no recognizable postmark. Asks her to meet him at a cafe for tea and cakes. She agrees. Brendan finagles his way past the checkpoints into Waterloo, does some customer checking then finally sees Joanna with her mother. She sees him and nods. He makes an order at the Diplomat Cafe and she sneaks in to join him. 

Their conversation is low-key but her off-hand comments make Brendan think better of himself. They meet more times then comes Christmas. He buys her a pendant and she gives him a set of tiny screwdrivers, to help with his repairs on smaller items. He's overcome...because it means she listens to him. She hears him, even when he doesn't speak. He's never had that, before.

The Battle of Bogside

Continuing from yesterday:

------------

Night of Broken Glass

Constables roar into the Bogside to beat up and destroy anything they can, cynically focusing on areas already slated for demolition. When they hear the men getting close, Brendan has Mairead hide in the outside toilet with Maeve and Kieran, then slips Rhuari over their neighbor's yard to toss stones over to him. He builds up a pile until the RUC reaches their house, bursts in and begins breaking everything apart. Then he slings the stones at them as hard and fast as he can, and it seems as if there are several others with him. This forces the constables back, for a moment.

During the respite, Brendan gets Mairead, Maeve and Kieran over to join Rhuari, since has finished trashing their neighbor's home, and lets the constables find him sitting alone in the back yard. He asks if they're done so he can get to work cleaning up. They search for all the others but find none so beat him. They would arrest him but news photographers are around and he's bloodied and looks like he's only ten. They leave while making threats.

Brendan enters the house to find everything wrecked. Mairead finally comes back and finds him seated near the back window. He has Bernadette's Dresden figurine and says he thinks he can fix it well-enough. She takes him to Mrs. O'Canainn's, down the way, and he's fixed up, fed a stew and given a glass of ale...then sleeps from exhaustion.

With Tur's help, he replaces the broken window panes and they get replacement furniture, then a couple months later they're moved to a house on Clíodhna Place. It's larger with an indoor toilet and a real garden hutch in the back yard. Danny helps Brendan fix things up. Mairead reveals Tur has asked her to marry him, so Brendan, Tur and Danny make the hutch into a room for them. Danny does so well with the wiring, Tur suggests he apprentice as an electrician, which makes him very happy. Then Tur and Mairead are wed and move in, with their first born slated for birth in October. 

Semi-New World

Because Christmas had been quiet, Mairead initiates Christmas, again, with their new neighbors, all of whom the family already knew. The previous tenants were not liked, and Brendan only knew one of their nine children. Now the Kinsellas live between the Keoghs, whose children are all grown and off to other lands, and the Whites, whose three wild sons Brendan knows too well but was protected from by being mates with Colm. Around them are the Haggertys, the Paynes, the Sellars, the Dohertys, the McCorys, and the Mahons, all with children too old or too young for Brendan to bother with but whom Rhuari, Maeve and Kieran can join.

Snow and the shift to a new currency for the British pound keeps Brendan and Danny busy; Colm is rarely around but always has some pot or a bottle to share. Paidrig is kept home to watch his nieces and nephews while his sisters-in-law work a shirt factory. Mairead has to stop work so Tur is the only income. Wee Eammon is ill, again, and his mother even more frantic so when the Chinas do meet, it's in a burned out building to hide from her. There they play cards, smoke pot and drink.

Then comes the gathering in Guildhall Square to commemorate the 1916 uprising. RUC constables behave like wild beasts, again, and so badly injure Mr. Devanny, a man who'd stayed home that day, he died a few months later. His funeral was attended by everyone, Brendan included. There's political chaos in Belfast, half fomented by Ian Paisley, and nothing is being achieved. Brendan is still treated poorly by his mother while Eamonn is being drawn deeper into the Nationalist cause.

One day, Mrs. McKittrick waylays Brendan and asks him to repair her watch but have Eamonn bring it to her. He's wary about it but does so and learns Eamonn has broken up with the woman. She moves away in the middle of marching season, when Protestants celebrate gaining control of Ireland's north. There is rioting on July 12th, mainly in Belfast where people were burned out of their homes. Neither side is talking to the other, by this point.

The Battle of Bogside

August 12th is a Protestant celebration for the apprentice boys who shut the gates of Derry against a Catholic army, and Apprentice boys march around Derry to lord it over Catholics in insulting ways. Brendan tries to finish some business before the march but is caught in it and is affected by the boiling anger in the Catholic community. The RUC does its usual thing of beating people, but this time they are finding themselves in a real fight. Rocks are thrown as well as fists, and Brendan joins in.

Catholic youths and men retreat up Waterloo and William into the Bogside. Barricades are built and the RUC is battered by the nonstop hail of rocks and firebombs. Buildings go up in flames. Constables fire rubber bullets. Tear gas is shot into the area, affecting everyone -- old, young, participant, not, male, female -- but the cannisters are also slung back at the constables. Brendan makes firebombs, nonstop, with wee Eammon's help. Colm and Danny ferry them up to the top of Rossville Flats, nine-story apartment buildings in the middle of the fighting, and the RUC cannot keep them from raining down on them.

Wee Eammon is badly affected by the tear gas and lost his inhaler, so Brendan races to his flat to get his spare then takes him to Creggan. He finds Ma, his sisters and brothers at the Devlin's. Word is the Irish Army is setting up a field hospital across the border. Looking back down the hill at the Bogside remind Brendan of painting of 19th Century battles. He returns to the fight and uses a mask soaked in vinegar against the gas, but it does little good.

There is no stopping for two days. Bernadette Devlin comes to help organize the barricades, as do others. A radio station broadcasts updates from a shortwave radio setup. Rumors fly that Protestant hoards are forming to support the RUC because there are riots in sympathy in Belfast and other cities so the constables are stretched thin. Brendan wonders how they can keep it up. They are running low on fuel and bottles and exhaustion is threatening to take over. He thinks of the Warsaw Ghetto uprising, as learned in school, and how it turned out -- obliteration.

Then comes word the British Army is en route. Fear spreads. This will the end of it. They cannot hold out against the army. Suddenly, there is silence. The army is heard marching in...then seen...but instead of attacking the citizens they set up barricades of their own and put themselves between the Bogside and RUC. With a wild joy, Brendan realizes they have won the battle.

Continuing...

Coming to a pivotal point for Brendan...
-----
A Long Walk
New Year's Day, 1969, The People's Democracy Walk begins and is harassed along the way by Protestants, especially followers of Ian Paisley, who is virulently anti-Catholic. The RUC offers minimal protection and sometimes obstruction. People in Derry follow it on the BBC and radio news, and anger grows at how the marchers are treated as condemnation comes not only from London but also Sinn Fein.
Brendan catches a news image of Eamonn on the march while watching at Danny's house, and keeps checking to see if local protestants are planning any attacks. But there is no buildup of rocks or clubs on the Catholic side of the Foyle. Then on the Third, he takes a lamp to a Protestant woman in The Fountain and is treated brusquely, tries to find Billy but sees he's gone and runs over to a demonstration at the Guildhall. Hundreds of Protestants led by Major Bunting have taken refuge inside the building, intending to disrupt the march, but thousands of Catholics surround it and make threats.
As the crowd disperses, Brendan finds Mairead and Tur and learns some are bussing up to Claudy to join the marchers in the last leg of their walk into Derry. Brendan wants to join them but Bernadette is furious with him for leaving the front door open and slaps him, despite Mai trying to come between them. Brendan tells her he wasn't paid for the lamp, which is a lie, then as his mother talks with neighbors and disparages him in comparison with Eamonn, he decides to walk to Claudy once everyone is asleep.
Claudy
Brendan manages to get out of Derry, with difficulty, and only knows Claudy is down the Dungiven Road. He knows that it runs in front of Altnagelvin hospital so locates it and head on. He loves the solitude and the silence, punctuated only by the sounds of wild nightlife. It's cold and the sky overcast, but he sings The Banks of Claudy as he walks along in the darkness. It's the song from the B side of the Johnstons' record. He pretends Joanna would have joined him, would have agreed with him that people should be allowed to be who they are, and considers just walking on forever, away from Derry and his mother.
Then he hears voices and the clicking of stones being tossed about. He hides when he sees an RUC vehicle coming, then locates where the rocks are...and sees Billy helping lay up stones and cudgels. Before he can get away, he's caught by a constable but, for a moment, convinces the men he's Protestant and learns they will be attacking the marchers, when they pass at Burntollet Creek.
They figure out Brendan is Catholic, so he kicks them and runs off to hide from the constables, then tries to warn people who are en route to Claudy of what the Protestants are planning, but is not believed. One woman who knows him tells people he's simple, so all he can hope is that she will tell Eamonn and he will believe Brendan's warning. Hungry and exhausted, Brendan falls asleep and wakes to the sound of ambulance sirens. The marchers were attacked and he fears the Protestants are slaughtering them.
Altnagelvin
Brendan races up the road to Claudy but happens on a car in a ditch. The driver is unconscious, thanks to a large stone through the driver's window, and there are hurt people are in the back. One mentions Eamonn was hurt. Brendan takes over, gets the car out of the ditch and follows an ambulance to Altnagelvin Casualty, even though he doesn't drive.
Brendan can get no one to tell him if Eamonn has been brought in till a doctor shows him a couple of injured lads, and one is his brother. Unconscious, but he'll be all right; he's being kept till the morning as a precaution. Brendan is taken to the intake desk to give them a name and contact information, and he is to be fed, but he is treated with hostility by the clerk. Hungry, he buys fish and chips from the cafe and goes back to sit by Eamonn, who finally wakes. He tells Brendan a little about the brutal attack, angrily referring to the men who did it as animals...but he had trouble focusing and finally drifts back to sleep.
A nurse comes in and snaps at Brendan that his mother and Father Jack are looking for him. She notices blood on his clothing, but he tells her it is brown sauce (HP Sauce)Bernadette is furious and slaps him, over and over, until Father Jack stops her. She's taken to Eamonn and Brendan is taken to the lavatory to clean up. He excuses himself to use the toilet then nearly collapses into sobs from the fear he'd felt and his fury at those who'd tried to kill his brother. He fights to keep Father Jack from hearing until he can regain control.
En route home, Brendan realizes Father Jack is quietly excited about the attack, thinking it will help their cause. Mixed with his evasions to questions about Father Demian and Danny, Brendan now knows he cannot trust him. At home, Mairead notices Brendan has changed in some way. He cleans up and tells them of his trip over dinner...then that night the RUC comes busting into the Bogside to reassert their dominance in the most violent way possible