Kyle Michel Sullivan's Blog: https://www.myirishnovel.com/, page 26

This is all I have to say...

 ...About the amazing stupidity of America for engaging in a trade war with Canada and Mexico...

God damn, we're led by morons...

Here come the censors...

Apparently, Oklahoma is leading the way in censoring books, now, by banning even the writing and the reading of them. See for yourselves. And notice the part where it allows anyone to file suit over this. Anyone!

In essence, Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet is in violation because they have sex when she is only 13 and he is 15 or 16...and don't tell me they're married. They do not have their parents' consent, nor that of the town's prince, so it's a sham marriage. Any school or theater that stages that play or shows Zeffirelli's film version will be open to a lawsuit.
Especially since and were underage when it was shot.
I have nothing to add to this, I'm so angry. Seems I may be in hot water if I ever go to that fucking state, again.

Celebration dinner...

It was snowing so instead of traveling 10 miles to Russell's Steak House on the other side of the airport, I went to an Outback that was only 4 miles away. And damn, it was good. The salad had some kind of blue cheese vinaigrette dressing with pecans, the 6oz filet and baked potato were perfect, and I even had cheesecake with chocolate sauce to finish my wine with.

I got so into it, I didn't think to take a photo before I began feasting...so this is how it was going. The DP was a prelude to the meal. 

Came out to nearly $70, including tip, which is about half what the other place would have cost, and I was purring like a kitten at the end of it. Only issue is, that one glass of wine made me sleepy. I don't have the tolerance I once had. Which is good, I guess.

It was still snowing when I came out, so drove home and took a nap. Still a bit sleepy. I may stay in bed all day, tomorrow. Just bring my laptop in and work on BDO, there.

Oh, I also got a haircut at a shop where this lovely Persian lad who goes by Q did a great job.

I think it's finally really sinking in just what I achieved with A Place of Safety. For me, even if to few others. I'd been working on the story for decades. Fighting over it with Brendan. Often thinking I couldn't get it done. Shouldn't get it done. And now it's over and I'm just...I don't know what I am.

I need to hermit for a while. Let my brain and body and spirit reconnect. Ignore the horrors growing everywhere, thanks to that beast in the White House and his demon spawn. 

It's done...

A Place of Safety is complete. I got a copy of the book with the glossy dust jacket and now it is ready...as you can see from the new banner I've posted on this blog. 

The last step will be setting it up in paperback, but that is in the future. Right now, I'm basking in the beauty of knowing I not only did what I said I would, for 2024, it was for a serious book about a devastating time in a young man's life, not something rooted in erotica and movie-style events.

I know without question anyone who was actually born and raised in Derry will have issues with the books, if they ever read them. I did my best to make each one as true as possible, but I've already had people from there say there's no way I can get the true flavor of being a Derry man or woman. Usually as they say they won't read it. And that's all right. What matters is, I stayed honest to Brendan and his story.

Now comes the fun part--trying to get reviews of the book on GoodReads and Amazon. Everything I've read about selling your book swears they are extremely important. But I wonder about that, after hearing from writers I know. People can be real assholes if they don't like you or your subject matter.

I've even got a stalker on Amazon giving my books one-star reviews. It's really funny. Not one word of explanation, just the negative rating. Almost like a silent There, I showed you. Talk about silly. Nasty reviews have been written about my work so many times, anonymous cowards mean nothing to me. 

So now it's finish BDO and then...we'll see...

Helps to be sneaky and sure

That's irin's process. The main thing he proves in BDO, chapter 19, is all that men are created venal. You just need to meet their price. As he says:

"If you want someone to fuck you over, pay them what they think they're worth. If you want them to fuck themselves over, pay them what they think you're worth."
And that's what he does with the diamonds he and Dirc receive from the Beast. They're Assher cut, real and near perfect...and 12 carat value, which puts them in the high six-figure range.
The boys are ensconced at a fine house in Carson City, NV. It's owned by an unsavory character named George, who dabbles in many quasi-legal things, including porn. When he realizes Dirc and Irin are in trouble, he arranges for some guys he knows to come and force them to have sex, on camera.

But Irin knows George and lets him sell the first diamond they're paid with. He also promises there will be more. So George shifts plans, completely...and instead of Irin and Dirc being made victims, the guys George brings in get used and sent to the Beast for its diner. Thus, more diamonds are provided and George is completely on their side.

A real diamond with few incursions (flaws) can be very valuable. A 12 carat Asscher cut diamond could cost anywhere from $100,000 to $1.5 million, depending on its cut, clarity, and color. These diamonds are typically more expensive than other diamonds of the same carat weight because of their rarity and the cutting process required to create them...so needless to say, George is happy to handle as many as my guys can bring him.

I'm up to nearly 50,000 words on this part of the story. With the 15K from the first part, that makes it a novel. Not even a month into 2025 and I've written another book. Granted, it's not exactly literature, or even on the same level as APoS...but it's something of an accomplishment.

I'll take those where I can get them...

Turmoil...

As I was working on The Beast Dines Out, today, I had a sudden attack of morality appear...and did not like it. I started making the next victim of Dirc and Irin deserving of his fate. To an extent. He's an asshole of an influencer on personal training and diet and very obnoxious about it...as if that excuses him being made into that night's special on the menu.

I almost made him a MAGAt piece of shit, and may yet...I dunno. This choice of offering to the Beast is turning out to be too deliberate to ignore the implications of it all. I think that's why I was getting nervous and trying to make it okay to deal with him, viciously.

And thinking about it, when Dirc went after the Cute Guard, it was when he was trapped in a lab-like setting being treated like a rat to run experiments on. Maybe my uncertainty started then.

But I've told myself I'm not going to do, in this story, what I was doing in Blood Angel...killing men who deserved death. That's not what really happens in life. Good people get hurt and die too soon while evil bastards live long lives. A reality only verified by the rare occasions where the opposite occurs.

For example, Jimmy Carter was as decent a man as they come, and he lived to be 100. While one of the worst J6 traitors who was pardoned by Felon47 got shot to death by a cop during a traffic stop, at the age of 42.

I wonder if I'm just approaching this moment incorrectly. Dirc's had a physical breakdown, now that he and Irin are safe. He'd been shoving forward using adrenaline to get them to that point and once it's reached, Irin is taking over, and Dirc's aches and pains and the intense weariness of doing it come crashing in for a day or two.

At this point in the story, he's the follower and not the leader of the two, which he has no problem with. But they've been equals in their relationship and that balance is off. Has been since they were both taken captive by the Area 51 crew.

I just need to find a way to regain it.

Am I writing stories...

...Or am I in a story that's being written about me writing stories? I ask this not as an existential question but because I've begun to wonder if I really exist, outside of the stories I write. My reasoning? I honestly cannot think of anything else to do.

Watch a DVD or movie? I dunno. What is there? I've only got a couple hundred to choose from, many of which I've already seen. And what sort of mood am I in? Noir? Comedy? Epic? I have both versions of Ben Hur so could compare them. I do love Dodsworth and Notorious and The Apartment and The Heiress, so could watch them, again. They are stories well-told.

Or...how about reading a book, instead? I only have 25 to choose from, and Adrian McKinty has a new Sean Duffy coming out. In hardcover. And I have a nice anthology of Edgar Allen Poe, which has some pieces I haven't read.

I should be getting my fresh copy of A Place of Safety-Home Not Home on Thursday, so that's something to keep in mind. 

But meanwhile, the only thing I consistently work on is a cheesy little SF/horror piece I'm posting for free on GayDemon. Working on chapter eighteen, right now, and see no end in sight for it. That's the only thing that gets me halfway excited...a story about two prolific serial killers who fall in love in a tale told with full amorality.

I sometimes wonder if I was a serial killer in a former life, and am condemned to this world where I'm unable to do anything like that even though deep within I want to. It's like I have the plans and thoughts and urges...but there's a lock on me that keeps me from following through. And that's why I write about them. That's my punishment for my previous existence. Look but don't touch.

There have been serial killers throughout history, but once upon a time there were so many wars going on the little bastards could satisfy their blood lust in acceptable ways. No no more. There may be Russians committing serial murders in Ukraine or Syria or the Central African Republic or even within Russia, but not with impunity, anymore. Even the Chinese, Israelis and Hamas have learned their slaughters are too easily found out and condemned.

At least, for now...

BookLife and Publishers Weekly

I got a copy of the January 20th Publishers Weekly, and on page 61 is the BookLife review of A Place of Safety-Home Not Home. It's a nice review, quite positive, but their grading system is on there and it's "Bs" for Cover, Typography, and Editing. I can accept that because they got an earlier file than that which is actually published.

I had it carefully edited before I published it, so I'm sure 95% of any issues they may have had with the book were handled. I'd sent them an earlier draft with the understanding it was undergoing editing, still, mainly because I wanted something to quote for the back cover of the book, and it takes them 5-6 weeks to get a review back to you.

I've had a couple of friends make reviews of my books, but I wish I knew how to get more people to review them on Amazon, B&N and Smashwords. I've tried just about everything I can think of--promotions, free copies, competitions--but nothing really seems to work.

For my MM erotica, I was in a group that did reviews on GoodReads, but even those were off and on. I've asked members of other groups I belong to if they'd read the three volumes of APoS and give me honest feedback, but they won't. Not even on a swapping reviews basis. All kinds of excuses. Hell, I can't even get family members to do it. My sister in San Diego and nieces refuse to read anything I've written.

I guess I could buy a review from Kirkus for HNH, but that last one was so wonky I'm leery of them.

I guess I'll just have to keep plugging along...

Forest or trees?

I didn't get to sleep till after 4am and slept till 11:30. Off and on. But somehow that helped me sort things out in my head for what to do. Especially after looking at the ridiculous flight schedules for Southwest Airlines and JetBlue. They are not working those things up for people to use.

So I'm leaving everything set up to fly home after LA. Then I'll fly to Chicago the next day. I finally reminded myself to keep it simple, and that worked out best, overall.

And I decided to get a car while I'm in Chicago. I'd been planning to do taxis and Uber, but I may need to head over to a UHaul to get some special-size boxes and want the flexibility. I also found a hotel that's about a 15 minute drive from the site instead of settling for one within walking distance. Costs $39 a night to park...but it's like that in every large city, now. Even the Motel 6 by LAX charges for parking.

I got notice that my bankruptcy hearing is at 10:30am in Buffalo, making it 7:30am in LA. It'll be middle of the week. I'm told it won't last more than a few minutes, while that packing site is only about 20 minutes from the hotel, so this is doable since I don't start there till 9am.

That freed me up, emotionally, to finish chapter 16 of The Beast Dines Out and post it. I'm not doing my usual rewriting on this because it's just rolling along. As of now, Dirc and Irin have escaped the lab, found ways to get to Las Vegas and rebuild enough money to feed and clothe themselves.

It helps that Dirc's already been through the Las Vegas type situation, once, and knows where to go to make things happen. But now the Beast has returned because it's found Dirc supplied it with the best supply of sustenance and wants to start the contract up, again.

This is where Irin comes in and negotiates a better deal, but with diamonds as payment instead of gold. Since he knows a guy in Carson City who'll handle them for the boys. And diamonds area LOT more valuable than gold.

So...forest is culled and I can see the trees, again. 

Regrouping

Have you ever wondered what the hell you're doing or where the hell you're going? I'm in one of those places, right now, which I hate. I get immobilized trying to figure out some path of action, not at all aware of which one would be best or worst or anything. Like I'm trapped in a cage, of sorts.

All of a sudden, I have back-to-back packing jobs the middle weeks of February, one in LA, one in Chicago, and I'm frozen trying to figure out the best way to handle them. Add a day to LA and fly to Chicago? Not sure what I'd do...especially with the fires still going and a large part of the city in ruins.

Come home to Buffalo then fly to Chicago? That means about a 24 hour turnaround between trips, but might be best. Even though I don't like how rushed it'd be.

At the same time, I have to work in a Zoom meeting about my bankruptcy, while I'm in LA. Only positive about that is it's on East Coast time so I can, hopefully, do it before I go into the job.

I'm still not happy that I'm doing that. I have too great a sense of responsibility for other things and people to just kick back and let it happen. And there's a lot of guilt involved, and not Catholic. Protestant...which can be much harsher.

It's said Protestants experience guilt when they don't fulfill their basic duties or experience shortcomings, and it may be more non-constructive or non-instructive than Catholics. That ol' Protestant work ethic. You are what you build or earn.

What's funny is, I got another first draft of a chapter for BDO done and it's ending with an idea expressed by Irin. If you want to fuck a guy over, pay him what he's worth. If you want him to fuck himself over, pay him what you're worth.

I have no idea where that came from or what it really means, but it fits my confused mindset at the moment.