Kyle Michel Sullivan's Blog: https://www.myirishnovel.com/, page 25

Blogger's being ridiculous...

My previous post is blocked behind a warning of inappropriate content and I have absolutely no idea why. There is no nudity. No more cursing than usual. No threats of violence or attacks on anyone. I can find no reason in any of their so-called community standards to put that label on it and kill its viewing. But there is it.

And I cannot appeal it. I have access to a dozen different ways to report a problem that is a violation, but nothing to ask for a review. I guess when you're using a platform that is, in effect, free...you have to put up with their stupidity.

I did more writing on The Beast Dines Out. It's at 5500 words and I'm not even 25% done. It's flowing out of me, so I'm loathe to stop it.

What seems to be building here is just another capitalistic venture on the part of Warren and his Extraterrestrial buddy. Or partner. Not sure which, yet.

I do know Warren's getting paid in raw stones or gold or something mineral. I doubt aliens use American Express...though I suppose it's not an impossible thing to consider. I wonder if they'd sponsor me...

I don't want this to seem like a ripoff of The Little Shop of Horrors. It's got a similar approach to the horror and bloodshed...jokey and dark...but mine's coupled with the beginning of a franchise operation that might help take care of overpopulation. There's also the original The Hills Have Eyes and the nearly goofy attitude the family has to their victims; gotta be careful I don't get weird.

So...I'm back to writing...

The Beast Dines Out...

I started writing a followup story to my novella, The Beast, and have more than 4000 words done. It's titled The Beast Dines Out and follows Warren as he deals with being put on trial, found guilty of hundreds of murders, and sentenced to death.

He's going to be transported to San Quentin to hold as his appeals go through the channels, and en-route there the Beast returns with a proposition.

They want to use Earth as their version of a truck stop, where fellow Beasts can drop in, refill their tanks and have a good meal. Sort of like The Jetsons meets Jeffrey Dahmer. A bit out there, but I feel the need for it.

I'm through to the point where Warren wakes in the Beast's spaceship on the same table as before, this time with three prison guards and a sheriff's deputy included as the initial meals. The Beast communicates telepathically...sort of. Don't know if I even need to explain how. Warren just knows what it wants and it knows what he's thinking.

I'm going to post it for free on GayDemon, not put it in book form. Just like what I did with the first novella. It's not that I don't think it's worth publishing; but there's some pretty raw MM non-con in it and Ingram's already squeamish about that.

(NOTE: And, apparently, so is Blogger, because I just got notified they put a warning on this post, like scared little pissants, and will not allow me to appeal it; ridiculous...but I guess me trying to figure it out made it all okay, again. I don't know. It makes no sense to me.)

Anyway, what's nice about GD is that I get quick feedback on how it's working. I also think I'm prepping to continue writing Blood Angel, which is also about people as food. I'm close to the point where I believe that's all many of us are good for.

Am I crazy?

John Wayne Gacy raped and murdered 33 young men and boys like this. That we know of. He was found guilty and executed for it 30 years ago. I remember reading about it at the time, it being just a few years after Elmer Wayne Henley and Dean Corll had been revealed as having raped and murdered 27 boys in Houston. Soon after came William Bonin and Randy Kraft , and then things seemed to calm down.

I'm completely, totally, and absolutely anti-death penalty. I'll joke about there always being exceptions...usually dealing with right wing scum or dictators like Putin or Xi...but in truth my aversion to it even extends to them. Innocent people have been executed, and I believe it's better to let 99 evil men live than let 1 innocent man be murdered by the state.

Gacy is usually included in the group I joke about there being an exception for...and considering the hideousness of his crimes, it's hard not to give in to the idea that he deserved it. But I also keep in mind that he did not kill all his victims. Some of them he just plain let go. Took them back to where he'd picked them up and gave them his contact information, as if it had just been a sexual encounter and not a kidnapping and sexual assault.

Several went to the cops and were brushed off. One, Jeff Rignall, wrote a book about what happened and testified at Gacy's murder trial, detailing the brutality for the record. What's wild about that is, he was testifying for the defense to try and prove that Gacy was mentally ill. Others also told of their assaults and how the police ignored them...until 15 year-old Robert Piest was kidnapped and killed under circumstances that, in retrospect, seemed like a cry from the man to stop him, it was so stupidly done.

Well...for some reason all day I've been thinking about how Gacy did not kill all of his rape victims. And how, considering rape is very rarely reported by men or women, it's likely the majority of his victims were simply released. And wondering if that might be a way into his story to bring sympathy to him.

Or understanding.

Which is why I wonder if I'm crazy. Considering writing a story that explains a vile, vicious serial killer as just another messed up dude. A guy who lost control of his inner demons. And I'm pretty sure a lot of that stems from seeing just how vile and vicious and depraved human beings have been to each other in just this century.

I'd once read a commentary that back when wars were far more common serial killers went off to battle and satiated their bloodlust with slaughter covered by battle, invasion or genocide. Russians' actions in Ukraine sort of support that idea, considering how barbaric they've been in places like Bucha and the east of Ukraine. Even considering what little I know about WW2 and the fighting between Germans and Russians in Poland and the rest of Eastern Europe...that almost bears it out.

I have no idea where I'm going with this, if anywhere. It's just something that took hold of my brain, today, and makes me a bit nervous...and fascinated...and probably nuts.

Fully accepted...

Smashwords is happy. Their sub groups are happy. I'm happy enough to post HNH as part of Smashwords' End of Year sale at half price. My inner birthday dragon is pleased...

Lots of my books are on sale, though not all. Many are free. Check down my profile page to see which are and which aren't, if you want to buy any. Not all of them are MM erotica.

So now what? Just waiting for the last bit to plug into the back of the dust jacket and I'm antsy. The job in Baltimore turned out not to need me, so that trip's off. All I have set coming up is in Seattle, first week of January. Then I have to be available for Jury Duty the week of the 20th. After that are California's book fairs, which I won't be dealing with.

I could write more...but I'm not really up for that. In any form. Maybe something will hit me; I never know. But right now I'm very much at loose ends. Watch movies? Catch up on my reading? See if I can stop rewriting other writers' sentences and restructuring their stories? That'd be a trick.

I took an online course, today, to verify I qualify for bankruptcy, and I do. I've stopped using the cards, completely, already. Had all my auto-pays shifted to either Paypal or my bank, which doesn't make me comfortable. I'd like to use my new credit card, but won't see that for another week. So even my finances are still in limbo.

I think I may go for a trip to Niagara Falls, the Canadian side. Just to get the hell out of the US. I'm sick to death not only of the GOP but the MAGAts that follow them...who seem to be spreading their infection, like rabies does in animals. I like to think I'm vaccinated against it, but you never know until you get sick.

I had to take the rabies shots when I was about four years-old. A neighbor's dog bit me, and she refused to let it be tested. We were living outside the city limits of San Antonio and Bexar County refused to make her do it, so I got the shots as a precaution. In the stomach. Either 2 or 3 of them, not sure. Just remember screaming my head off a couple of times.

Maybe that's inoculated me against right-wing stupidity.

Home Not Home is officially published...

I got the last notes on HNH early this afternoon so made all the changes, needed, and uploaded it to Smashwords . Meaning it can now be bought in ebook formats. It still has to go through a review to see if a couple of the groups that offer ebooks will accept it in their catalogues, but I'm not worried about them. It has no porn, which is all that seems to freak them out.

I did do a bit of rewriting near the end, when Brendan is being taken to where he thinks Joanna lives. Made it more emotional a journey. I didn't have him describe how nervous and expectant he was; I worked it into him having memories of his walk to Claudy as a boy. And the tenderness of the passing farms as dusk settles in. And then...when the truck he's in stops...how it's an effort for him to do anything but keep looking down the road.

God, I hope I'm not being self-indulgent or ridiculous in my pride over this book. But I am fucking proud. I did something I did not know I could do.

The hardcover is still pending. I'm waiting to see if the review I requested from BookLife will come in so I can post it on the back cover...or learn they didn't like this volume and so use quotes from the two previous reviews by them and Kirkus.

I could have asked Kirkus to review this one, I suppose, but I'm leery of how they work so just...didn't.

Anyway, I've aligned it with Smashwords' end of year sale -- half-price through January 1st. And in the meantime, I'll read up on ways to get notice going for the book. I've already read a couple of articles that had no real information in them, so that won't be easy. It seems everyone wants you to pay for their services before they impart their knowledge, which I understand but don't have the money for.

And at the rate I'm going, never will.

Surprising feedback...

One of my building's office people tried to read The Alice '65 but said the print is too small. Makes her eyes hurt. She's older but not elderly, and does wear glasses...but apparently those didn't help.

I checked it and I did the text in TNR 10 point font, while I've been doing APoS in 11 point, which is a bit easier to read. Of course, the file being used by my editor is Courier 12 point and I've done my own proofing using 14 point blown up to 150 view, to make the errors more obvious. But I'm wondering if I should consider reworking A65 with a larger point size.

Maybe I'll even do the PB editions of APoS in 12 point to make it a clearer read. I doubt many young people will be reading the books...except maybe in ebook, which can be increased in size on the viewer. But this was something I hadn't give a lot of consideration to.

I'd looked at dozens of novels in paperback and hardcover to get an idea of how they were formatted and laid out and such, but I didn't really pay attention to the font size. To me, larger print was like this:

A Place of Safety

-- and for people who were nearing blindness. I'm fortunate in that while I do need glasses for reading or seeing things up close, I'm fine most of the time without them. And making my books into large print just seemed like a lot of time and effort for minimal use. Kind of limiting, that way of thinking.

Oh, well...live and learn...maybe...

Another step taken...

It's begun. I not only qualify for bankruptcy, we've initiated the process. It means wiping out all my credit cards, so I'm getting one through my Credit Union that's secured by a cash deposit. It's limiting, but it gets me back on track and a huge weight off my shoulders. And if I'm careful, I can do just about all my traveling, using it.

That's one step back to being in some kind of control. Next will be publishing APoS-HNH. Got more notes, today, and we're 3/4 of the way through. A couple of moments were not written very well so I did a bit of polishing on them. But overall it's holding up.

Publisher's Weekly isn't going to review Home Not Home, so all I can do is wait for BookLife's review. Should be appearing soon. Put that on the jacket, maybe some quotes for Derry and New World For Old. We'll see what happens.

Fortunately, I'm at the less expensive end of the whole routine. I'll need to buy a physical proof and some copies I promised, but that's it. when I get around to doing the paperbacks, I'll have to buy some ISBNs and those are pricy, but I don't think I'm using images for the covers. Or if I do, I'll work up some simple pen and ink renditions to use in the background. I dunno, yet.

I'm going to dig through all the groups swearing they know how to help you sell millions of copies of your books and see if any make any sense...without it costing me a huge amount. That's always the trick.

I really hate being in this situation, but with the coming uncertainty thanks to the MAGAt scum and Democrats' wishy-washy-ness, I have to plan for the worst.

Bit by bit...

Got more corrections on APoS-HNH and we're now over halfway through. And some of these are really embarrassing. Like misspelling Michael and repeating words. I'm shaking my head at myself.

No movie, tonight. Instead I did preliminary work on taxes to have for tomorrow's meeting. It's kind of a shock to see that I've spent nearly $6000.00 getting A Place of Safety going, this year, and finding out just how little return there has been on it, thus far.

I know I shouldn't care. I'm glad I'm so close to being done with the book, and I do feel I did right by Brendan's story, but it's tipped me into bankruptcy. Maybe. Depends on if I qualify. I may not.

What's really sad about this is, I've got a really good credit rating, and no matter what that's going to vanish. I won't be defaulting on anything till next month.

So while it's wonderful that Brendan's story is now available to read and I can focus on finding ways to get people interested in it...I wish it hadn't come to this. It's fucking depressing. But I'm $38,000 in debt, which is $4000 more than I made, last year, and I can't keep going like this. Especially if the MAGAt scum get their way and start cutting Social Security benefits.

I like to think they're in too much turmoil, themselves, to really get anything done. But that's too much like wishful thinking.

So this is a preemptive strike. Cutting my costs as much as possible and trying to rebuild my savings, in anticipation. Won't be easy, no matter what.

Charlie Chan night...

I have many of the Charlie Chan movies, from the 30s and 40s, and I'm going to go through them all, again. I've seen most several times, each, but still like to watch them. My favorites are Charlie Chan at the Opera, ...in Egypt, ...at the Olympics, and ...in Panama.

Warner Oland was the best one. He was Swedish but had some Mongolian ancestry so had a vaguely Asian aspect to his face. I don't have his first one, Charlie Chan Carries On, nor have I seen it. It's considered lost, but there's a Spanish version, apparently. I need to track it down. See how good my Spanish is...except they used a Spanish actor for Charlie Chan, so it may not really count.

I used to watch these on Saturdays, as a boy at my grandmother's. Black and white console TV in the same ratio so they lost nothing when I finally got them on VHS...then DVD. Sydney Toler was okay as Chan. Just not as warm as Oland. And I didn't like the Roland Winters ones; they were cheesy and done without thought.

There was one version from about 1929 or 1930 where Charlie Chan was a secondary character in San Francisco who helped the white British detective catch a killer before he killed the only witness against him. It was quite violent, but it also had images of San Francisco's streets at that time and was, overall, quite good. But I can't remember the title and my search is coming up blank, so far,.

A lot of today was spent pulling together paperwork and filling in forms for my meeting on Monday with the bankruptcy lawyer. It's a free consultation to see if I really qualify. Who knows how it will turn out.

New site to try...

I was directed to a site I'd never heard of, before -- Book Funnel -- so set up an account and posted The Vanishing of Owen Taylor on there. There's another of Smashwords' sales promotions coming up, on it, and one of the other authors I follow on Facebook is going to put it in her newsletter, with links to that site. May as well give it a go.

Of course, people can also go to my profile page and see which books I've added to the sale and which I haven't. Some will be free. Both of the APoS volumes available will be half price. My gay erotica is $0.99, as always.

I'm realizing there are several places readers can go to for gay erotica...where it's free. They can't own it, but they get to read it. I tried one out with The Beast and it seemed to make people happy. Got some good feedback on it. But no money...and that explains why sales have gone flat.

I'm at that stage of life where I need the cash more than anything. And the Universe seems bent on me not having it while making damn sure I have to ladle it out.

I've spent close to $5000 trying to get A Place of Safety-Derry and New World For Old some traction in sales, to minimal good. Haven't even made back 10% of that. Same thing happened with David Martin. That was more than $3000 when I worked it up...half of which was for a professional illustrator...and another bust.

It's just, I can't afford a publicist on top of it. So guess I'm a total fuckup.