Kyle Michel Sullivan's Blog: https://www.myirishnovel.com/, page 242
January 19, 2015
Breathing room...
Tonight was spent reading a book -- The Blood of Others. It's interesting how it changes tense constantly through the first chapter, like a memory. Hard to follow until you catch the flow and then it's like contemplation. Chapter 2 is more straightforward narrative.
I wonder if I'm missing subtleties in the translation from the French. I really should work on it; I love the language, love the films, love the idea of France, but my knowledge of her grammar was never strong and is weakening, rapidly. Hell, I can barely comprehend English, sometimes.
Anyway, this book reminds me a bit of the Benjy section of The Sound and the Fury, by Faulkner. That book's told in 4 parts, and Benjy's is the opener, as revealed in the mind of an adult man who either has Down Syndrome or is severely retarded. Very stream of consciousness. It's the only one of his books that I've read that I really liked.
I think The Blood of Others might have been influenced by Faulker and James Joyce (Ulysses is a bitch on wheels to follow as you read it). It deals with a man named Jean Blomart who's sitting vigil as Helene, a woman he thinks he loves...or may not love, is dying. He remembers moments from his past that led him to the point where he is now a leader in the French Resistance of WW2...and who probably sent her on the operation that got her mortally wounded. An existentialist tragedy.
The closest I've come to writing anything like this is Death Target, a revenge screenplay where the lead wants to be killed in order to destroy the man he thinks murdered his family. It's set in Marseille and Casablanca (originally it was set in LA and Moscow and called Kazn) and is told like a thriller, but it has a hopeful ending. I'm pretty sure this book does not.
No...How To Rape A Straight Guy is pretty rough and harsh, too. Probably more-so. What Curt does in that is violent and understandable and probably mostly a lie that could be the truth...but even it ends on a gentle note.
I've never written anything that has a bleak fade out. I like there to always be at least a glimmer of hope at the end. I think that's a very American thing. We like to believe that anything is possible, even if it's just mending a marriage or changing jobs or surviving the evening.
I'd like to think we still do...
I wonder if I'm missing subtleties in the translation from the French. I really should work on it; I love the language, love the films, love the idea of France, but my knowledge of her grammar was never strong and is weakening, rapidly. Hell, I can barely comprehend English, sometimes.
Anyway, this book reminds me a bit of the Benjy section of The Sound and the Fury, by Faulkner. That book's told in 4 parts, and Benjy's is the opener, as revealed in the mind of an adult man who either has Down Syndrome or is severely retarded. Very stream of consciousness. It's the only one of his books that I've read that I really liked.
I think The Blood of Others might have been influenced by Faulker and James Joyce (Ulysses is a bitch on wheels to follow as you read it). It deals with a man named Jean Blomart who's sitting vigil as Helene, a woman he thinks he loves...or may not love, is dying. He remembers moments from his past that led him to the point where he is now a leader in the French Resistance of WW2...and who probably sent her on the operation that got her mortally wounded. An existentialist tragedy.
The closest I've come to writing anything like this is Death Target, a revenge screenplay where the lead wants to be killed in order to destroy the man he thinks murdered his family. It's set in Marseille and Casablanca (originally it was set in LA and Moscow and called Kazn) and is told like a thriller, but it has a hopeful ending. I'm pretty sure this book does not.
No...How To Rape A Straight Guy is pretty rough and harsh, too. Probably more-so. What Curt does in that is violent and understandable and probably mostly a lie that could be the truth...but even it ends on a gentle note.
I've never written anything that has a bleak fade out. I like there to always be at least a glimmer of hope at the end. I think that's a very American thing. We like to believe that anything is possible, even if it's just mending a marriage or changing jobs or surviving the evening.
I'd like to think we still do...
January 18, 2015
Still long...
I dug through the last three chapters, again, and they still need clarification. But more got cut, which is good, and one of the killers got changed out with somebody else, so there's a fair amount to do to maintain consistency. My hope is to have a decent draft by the end of the month. Then I'll start begging for feedback. And I'll need some that's really serious.
On GoodReads, I found a detailed review of The Lyons' Den that'd been posted a couple months back. It was a tough one, but in a good way. She liked my characters and the story, but for some reason took a special like for Tad. In fact, her one real gripe was that I let Tad become a total asshole at the end instead of maintaining a level of humanity in him that she thought was very three-dimensional. And I can see what she's getting at.
Tad does seem to love Daniel, at the beginning of their relationship, but he also uses Daniel and only sticks around till he gets the rights to two more of Daniel's books. Still, there is a more interesting depth to him in the beginning of the book than there is at the very end. That was a deliberate decision by me...and maybe it was wrong.
Problem is, I can't get a good cross-section of feedback on it to see if others feel the same way. Of the other critiques I received, one had problems with Ace's patois, till he got used to it, and the other was just brutal and petty. The rest are positive but not informative as to why.
So...I'm going to be doing everything I can to get an idea of how OT is going. I want it to be solid work. I added up all four sections, and as of now I'm at just over 116,000 words and 526 double-spaced pages....and that's with me cutting a fair amount. But it's needed to tell the story honestly.
Guess I do still love my words.
On GoodReads, I found a detailed review of The Lyons' Den that'd been posted a couple months back. It was a tough one, but in a good way. She liked my characters and the story, but for some reason took a special like for Tad. In fact, her one real gripe was that I let Tad become a total asshole at the end instead of maintaining a level of humanity in him that she thought was very three-dimensional. And I can see what she's getting at.Tad does seem to love Daniel, at the beginning of their relationship, but he also uses Daniel and only sticks around till he gets the rights to two more of Daniel's books. Still, there is a more interesting depth to him in the beginning of the book than there is at the very end. That was a deliberate decision by me...and maybe it was wrong.
Problem is, I can't get a good cross-section of feedback on it to see if others feel the same way. Of the other critiques I received, one had problems with Ace's patois, till he got used to it, and the other was just brutal and petty. The rest are positive but not informative as to why.
So...I'm going to be doing everything I can to get an idea of how OT is going. I want it to be solid work. I added up all four sections, and as of now I'm at just over 116,000 words and 526 double-spaced pages....and that's with me cutting a fair amount. But it's needed to tell the story honestly.
Guess I do still love my words.
January 17, 2015
Unofficially done...
I worked through to the end of OT, today...and the last three chapters need more work before I call it quits on this draft. They get way too convoluted and don't quite jibe with what comes before. But I am happier with the story. It's getting cleaner and clearer...I think. I hope.
Once done, I went down to get my mail, and a copy of Simone de Beauvoir's The Blood of Others arrived...shoved into my small metal postal box. It irritated me because it was not only hard to get out but showed complete disrespect for books. But...what's good is, it sparked a moment in my brain for the novelization of The Alice 65. So here's Adam thinking back on working in his father's London book shop when he was a teenager.
---------
He remembered a book arriving in the post, one day. A copy of the Pantheon paperback edition of Simone de Beauvoir's The Blood of Others. It came in a loose plasticized wrapper, folded at one end and taped closed. He had to use scissors to cut it open. Out came a slightly oversized book in soft gray-brown covers, the edges worn, the spine cracked straight down the middle and with a small tear where OD and O had been in the title. It was over 20 years old, so he supposed the condition was not to be unexpected...but still, it had not been well-cared-for.
He carefully opened the book to find the pages yellowed with age and occasional writing in the margins. In ink! Without thinking, he murmured, "Philistines." The top still held hints of the dust that had accumulated, and a small stain whispered over the area nearest the spine. Hardly the good condition promised by the seller; more like acceptable, at best. But still, he cradled the book in his hands like the finest of the fine.
The shop was quiet, at the moment, so he cleaned his glasses, set aside the pile of papers his father had left for him to sort through, and researched the book on-line. Not much showed up.
When his father returned from the auction, Adam showed him the book. The older man looked through it and sighed, "I asked him to send us a sample of the best ones, and this is all that came?"
Adam nodded. "I've checked on ABE and they seem to believe it's worth about two or three pounds."
"What do you think of it?"
"Whoever's owned it, they were not book people. University student, maybe? Reading it for a course? I've never read de Beauvoir...but this copy...it makes me want to."
"How so?"
"The way bits have been removed from the cover, as if to hide what it truly is. Makes me curious. And the cover photo -- the young woman in clothes that appear modern, her hair cut short, while the man seems dressed from a hundred years ago. The poster in the background reading 1941. None of it matches, and is quite intriguing."
"Would you buy it for the shop?"
"Dunno. I might. We don't have any de Beauvoir. I might even buy it for myself."
Mr. Verlain smiled and handed the book back to Adam. "Did he ever mention the number of books he had?"
"His list carried seventy-eight titles, Twentieth Century, all, but I think some are multiple volume so I'd say the total number is more like a hundred to a hundred and five."
"I doubt we'd sell this for more than a couple of quid, but write him back and let him know we'll take the lot for sixty pounds if he'll ship them to us. He may not want to spend the money."
"Don't you think they'll be worth the price, Da'?"
"A book is worth whatever you're willing to pay for it."
Adam nodded. "If I remember right, one of his e-mails said he'd be in London, next week. He could drop them off, then."
"That would be best. Perhaps something else in his library will intrigue you."
"You mind if I do read this one?"
"Of course not. Ask your mother about Simone de Beauvoir. Her answer might surprise you."
Once done, I went down to get my mail, and a copy of Simone de Beauvoir's The Blood of Others arrived...shoved into my small metal postal box. It irritated me because it was not only hard to get out but showed complete disrespect for books. But...what's good is, it sparked a moment in my brain for the novelization of The Alice 65. So here's Adam thinking back on working in his father's London book shop when he was a teenager.
---------
He remembered a book arriving in the post, one day. A copy of the Pantheon paperback edition of Simone de Beauvoir's The Blood of Others. It came in a loose plasticized wrapper, folded at one end and taped closed. He had to use scissors to cut it open. Out came a slightly oversized book in soft gray-brown covers, the edges worn, the spine cracked straight down the middle and with a small tear where OD and O had been in the title. It was over 20 years old, so he supposed the condition was not to be unexpected...but still, it had not been well-cared-for.
He carefully opened the book to find the pages yellowed with age and occasional writing in the margins. In ink! Without thinking, he murmured, "Philistines." The top still held hints of the dust that had accumulated, and a small stain whispered over the area nearest the spine. Hardly the good condition promised by the seller; more like acceptable, at best. But still, he cradled the book in his hands like the finest of the fine.
The shop was quiet, at the moment, so he cleaned his glasses, set aside the pile of papers his father had left for him to sort through, and researched the book on-line. Not much showed up.
When his father returned from the auction, Adam showed him the book. The older man looked through it and sighed, "I asked him to send us a sample of the best ones, and this is all that came?"
Adam nodded. "I've checked on ABE and they seem to believe it's worth about two or three pounds."
"What do you think of it?"
"Whoever's owned it, they were not book people. University student, maybe? Reading it for a course? I've never read de Beauvoir...but this copy...it makes me want to."
"How so?"
"The way bits have been removed from the cover, as if to hide what it truly is. Makes me curious. And the cover photo -- the young woman in clothes that appear modern, her hair cut short, while the man seems dressed from a hundred years ago. The poster in the background reading 1941. None of it matches, and is quite intriguing."
"Would you buy it for the shop?"
"Dunno. I might. We don't have any de Beauvoir. I might even buy it for myself."
Mr. Verlain smiled and handed the book back to Adam. "Did he ever mention the number of books he had?"
"His list carried seventy-eight titles, Twentieth Century, all, but I think some are multiple volume so I'd say the total number is more like a hundred to a hundred and five."
"I doubt we'd sell this for more than a couple of quid, but write him back and let him know we'll take the lot for sixty pounds if he'll ship them to us. He may not want to spend the money."
"Don't you think they'll be worth the price, Da'?"
"A book is worth whatever you're willing to pay for it."
Adam nodded. "If I remember right, one of his e-mails said he'd be in London, next week. He could drop them off, then."
"That would be best. Perhaps something else in his library will intrigue you."
"You mind if I do read this one?"
"Of course not. Ask your mother about Simone de Beauvoir. Her answer might surprise you."
January 16, 2015
Once again, the Oscars are controversial...
This is so funny. Apparently, because all the acting nominees for this year's Oscars are white, it's "just awful" and "infuriating" and on and on. Al Sharpton wants an explanation and Spike Lee's screaming, "Fuck 'em." As if it was some grand conspiracy to diss the African-Americans who wrote and acted and directed films this year.
First off, I can't believe this is even a story worthy of headline news, but the media's all over it. ISIS throws gay men off a building to execute them and posts images of it, and nothing about that on CNN or MSNBC or Yahoo News. But David Oyelowo and Ava DuVernay get passed over for nominations and it's racism, racism!!!!
I'm trying to think of a single year where the Academy Awards has NOT dissed somebody...and can't. Jimmy Stewart was passed over for Vertigo in 1959, a performance that's now considered his best. Marlene Dietrich was shrugged off for Witness for the Prosecution in 1958 when she did an amazing job. Hell, even Bette Davis was ignored for her powerhouse work in Of Human Bondage, causing a major uproar...and that was in 1935. Even this year, nothing for Jennifer Anniston or Angelina Jolie or Ralph Fiennes or even Special Effects for The Hobbit.
There are so many other places that need anger and attitude slung at them -- the GOP for attacking Social Security, Obama for enlarging the surveillance state, multi-billion dollar companies like GE not paying a penny in income tax, a military budget closing in on a trillion dollars a year, cops out of control and killing people left and right, and on and on. To make a big deal out of an awards show that rarely honors those who really are the best is just plain silly.
But I think that's all we have now instead of honest thought or contemplation -- childish temper-tantrums.
First off, I can't believe this is even a story worthy of headline news, but the media's all over it. ISIS throws gay men off a building to execute them and posts images of it, and nothing about that on CNN or MSNBC or Yahoo News. But David Oyelowo and Ava DuVernay get passed over for nominations and it's racism, racism!!!!
I'm trying to think of a single year where the Academy Awards has NOT dissed somebody...and can't. Jimmy Stewart was passed over for Vertigo in 1959, a performance that's now considered his best. Marlene Dietrich was shrugged off for Witness for the Prosecution in 1958 when she did an amazing job. Hell, even Bette Davis was ignored for her powerhouse work in Of Human Bondage, causing a major uproar...and that was in 1935. Even this year, nothing for Jennifer Anniston or Angelina Jolie or Ralph Fiennes or even Special Effects for The Hobbit.
There are so many other places that need anger and attitude slung at them -- the GOP for attacking Social Security, Obama for enlarging the surveillance state, multi-billion dollar companies like GE not paying a penny in income tax, a military budget closing in on a trillion dollars a year, cops out of control and killing people left and right, and on and on. To make a big deal out of an awards show that rarely honors those who really are the best is just plain silly.
But I think that's all we have now instead of honest thought or contemplation -- childish temper-tantrums.
January 15, 2015
"Weekend"...
This is a beautiful low-budget film by Andrew Haigh about two guys in Nottingham, England who connect one weekend...
...and spend hours talking, drinking, doing drugs, having sex, flirting, arguing...
...loving...
...learning about each other and themselves...
...and changing their lives and themselves in ways they never expected.
Chris New and Tom Cullen fill the roles with flesh and blood, becoming people you've known and want to know, in all their glory and grumpiness.I watched it, again...and will watch it again, in the future.
January 14, 2015
Seems I have a brain...
Though sometimes one would be hard pressed to prove it. I was wondering because I had a weird moment in the shower when I could not remember the day or year or even my age. Freaked me out, since dementia runs in part of my family. My great-grandmother had it, as did a great-uncle. That might explain my lapses over the last couple years.
But I saw a neurologist, today, to see of there's anything to me having dyslexia or early onset of Alzheimer's...and I scored a perfect 30 on the tests he ran -- meaning I'm damned healthy. You'd never know it to look at me. We're doing an EEG and an MRI of my head to see of anything weird shows up, but he doubts it. Still, I will now have a solid baseline for my brain, in case I do get to where I'm acting weird.
Can't wait to see this bill.
I made some more changes and simplified another moment between Jake and Lemm and another guy, but I haven't gotten rid of a followup confrontation (the one that feels like it's too much). I'll do that, tomorrow.
Happiness will be the day I'm finally satisfied enough with this story to let it go.
But I saw a neurologist, today, to see of there's anything to me having dyslexia or early onset of Alzheimer's...and I scored a perfect 30 on the tests he ran -- meaning I'm damned healthy. You'd never know it to look at me. We're doing an EEG and an MRI of my head to see of anything weird shows up, but he doubts it. Still, I will now have a solid baseline for my brain, in case I do get to where I'm acting weird.
Can't wait to see this bill.
I made some more changes and simplified another moment between Jake and Lemm and another guy, but I haven't gotten rid of a followup confrontation (the one that feels like it's too much). I'll do that, tomorrow.
Happiness will be the day I'm finally satisfied enough with this story to let it go.
January 13, 2015
NYC is out of control...
Spent the day in NYC under a bright beautiful sky and in freezing temperatures, dealing with people who think the middle of the street is a good place to park, so long as you put your flashers on. And Google Maps thinking taking me into Manhattan so I can get to Brooklyn from JFK is the fastest way to go. It wasn't. Hell, I wouldn't have gone if the damned program hadn't tricked me into driving across the Williamsburg Bridge.I got out of that mess by ignoring that crazy woman's voice telling me to go left when there are signs saying No Left Turn, doing a loop to the right and returning to the bridge to get back across the East River. Then she wanted to take me back onto the 278 instead of letting me go through a couple of stops lights to get to my destination.
Listen, I like New York, but I don't know if I could live there. What I do know is, I would definitely not have a car. Driving in that town is worse than LA, and the pedestrians have a death wish.
After my one-hundredth WTF!!!!!???? moment, I gave in to the madness and turned on WFUV, which was playing some very odd, voice dominant, atonal jazz-classical-industrial stuff that actually helped me cope. Weird, I know, but I may ask who the artists were. Sometimes weird is good. I've got a CD of Edda's Medieval Icelandic folk melodies and they're very wild.
And led me to another insight into Jake...so thank you NYC for being such a pain.
The above photo was taken from Federal Circle Station after I returned the rental car. I wanted to get to Terminal 5 and eat; I skipped lunch to get this job done. Wound up with an overpriced burger.
Tomorrow, I'm having Indian food.
January 12, 2015
Rolling stone gathers moss...
I rolled it up and let it down and rolled it up and let it down and finally came to realize I didn't need the second confrontation. So I cut one character's role in the drama back to more like a bystander, and now it's working.Lemm's who helped me battle it out. Jake was a bit too caught up in the whole thing, so having Matt and Lemm get involved is what completed it. Helps with the timing and the flow, and now that boulder's sitting nicely on top the mountain. Until such time as it decides to tumble down, again.
I used Bernardo Velasco as my visual for Lemm. He's a Brazilian model/actor whose physical symmetry is amazing, and I'm playing with the idea no one can tell which side he's on or when he's telling the truth. He's able to get away with being so opaque because he's so beautiful.
Off to NYC to scope out a job, tomorrow, so while I'm waiting in Terminal 5 for my flight, I'll work more on the story. But I'm finally seeing serious light at the end of the OT tunnel. Hell, I may finish this next draft before the end of the month.
Fingers crossed...
January 11, 2015
Sisyphus redux...
Sometimes writing is like rollin' that boulder up that hill...then watching it roll back down so you gotta start all over again. Even though it doesn't always go all the way to the bottom. Always.I got to the end of part 3 of OT but found it wasn't setting up the ending, right. There's supposed to be a big reveal...and it was falling flat. Maybe it's because I know what it is, and it may still come across as a surprise to someone reading for the first time, but I don't feel it.
I went back over it four times, trying to find the key. Dropped some repetition and dismissed a minor plot point that really didn't matter. Added in more discussion of what happened...and while it reads like a real conversation, it circles the issue...which is needed, considering who Jake's trying to pin down...but it just doesn't rise to the occasion. It could also be that I have a really raw, emotional scene before it, and that mitigates the effect. Now I'm thinking I should drop the whole thing or put it later. Except there are things in it that I need to happen, right then.
When I get to that point, it's better if I put it aside for the evening, so I watched the Golden Globes as I ironed...and ironed. It didn't seem to be as much fun as in the past, and I'd only seen The Grand Budapest Hotel out of all the nominees. Glad it won, but it was a very goofy movie. Tomorrow, it's back to the un-rolled stone.
Dunno how much I agree with Camus...but I can't disagree with him.
January 10, 2015
I miss "Friends"
I used to have all 10 seasons of the show, on DVD, and I'd plug one in whenever I needed a pick-me-up. I never thought the show was exactly great; I got some laughs out of it, but for the most part the jokes were silly. I kept watching through the first season for one reason --
David Schwimmer. I was crushing on him, big-time. He's not classically handsome, nor did he have the body of Adonis, but his geeky-cool-clumbsiness was fun to watch, as was his relationship dance with Rachel. When he got flustered and angry...well, let's just say it's a good thing he was on TV and not somewhere that I could pounce.
By the end of the second season, I was enjoying the show for the relationships between the characters almost as much as watching him as Ross. Only almost.
I met him in a quick passing-by way when I worked at Book Soup. He was on his way to the Emmys and stopped to get some magazines to read in the limo. I guess that's what they were for. I just rang him up and said, "Thursday nights is the only night I watch TV." He did a perfect Ross head-bop as he thanked me.
I did a graphite sketch of his face, not long after, and sent it to him care of his agent. I don't know if he ever got it; I never received a thank you note. Didn't matter. The crush continued throughout the series' run...and I still think he's attractive.
I had to sell my DVDs when I was living in Texas and caring for my mother. I had copies of things that were out of print, like The Stuntman, and other things that were in demand...like Friends and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But if your car needs work and you ain't got the money, you do what you have to do. Once I get myself righted, again, financially, I'm going to buy the full series. Maybe it comes as a full set, like Buffy... and Battlestar Galactica.
Someday...
David Schwimmer. I was crushing on him, big-time. He's not classically handsome, nor did he have the body of Adonis, but his geeky-cool-clumbsiness was fun to watch, as was his relationship dance with Rachel. When he got flustered and angry...well, let's just say it's a good thing he was on TV and not somewhere that I could pounce.By the end of the second season, I was enjoying the show for the relationships between the characters almost as much as watching him as Ross. Only almost.
I met him in a quick passing-by way when I worked at Book Soup. He was on his way to the Emmys and stopped to get some magazines to read in the limo. I guess that's what they were for. I just rang him up and said, "Thursday nights is the only night I watch TV." He did a perfect Ross head-bop as he thanked me.
I did a graphite sketch of his face, not long after, and sent it to him care of his agent. I don't know if he ever got it; I never received a thank you note. Didn't matter. The crush continued throughout the series' run...and I still think he's attractive.
I had to sell my DVDs when I was living in Texas and caring for my mother. I had copies of things that were out of print, like The Stuntman, and other things that were in demand...like Friends and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But if your car needs work and you ain't got the money, you do what you have to do. Once I get myself righted, again, financially, I'm going to buy the full series. Maybe it comes as a full set, like Buffy... and Battlestar Galactica.
Someday...
