Kyle Michel Sullivan's Blog: https://www.myirishnovel.com/, page 239
December 26, 2014
More Jake Inspiration...
When I'd written as much as I could, today, I went looking for another rendition of Jake. I found a couple of actors from Iran who were close, but Aidan Turner still owns my image of him. Hair's a bit too long, and Jake's got a goatee, not just scruff...but it's the eyes and the attitude that nail it shut. Below is the only other guy who came close -- Dominic Rains, who was born in Tehran.
Thing is, he seems soft, for Jake. Bendable. Even a bit...I dunno...needy. Blank. He may be none of those things when he's acting in front of a camera...but that's how he hits me.
Whereas, Aidan's got the butch factor down, pat, even though he's nowhere near as built as this guy. Probably because he's Irish. They know betrayal and pain; it's in their blood...their DNA. The Irish may understand fear, but they also know how to stand their ground in the face of it. If they hadn't, they'd still be owned by England. Instead, they started the crumbling of the Empire.
I think that's what I see in Aidan's eyes and not in Dominic's -- the long cold line of history.
Damn the adjectives, full speed ahead!
Adjectives are not a Jake thing; Tone's the one who likes to have words for playing and messing around with so as to build a smokescreen for his own psychoses. Jake's got meat and potatoes grammar. No Hollandaise, caramelized carrots, or Cous-cous for him. Fancy fixin's are anything but his raison d'etre.
That's why I've been struggling to get Jake's tone right. I'll think I've got it, but then I go back and read and it's not there, yet. It's soft and smooth and easy...and doesn't read honest. But then I got to an exchange between Jake and Tone, where they almost come to blows, and I finally, finally, finally caught on to how their cadence was too similar. Jake's using fouler language, sure...but he's still got the careful lead-ins and adjectives. I cut them, and it worked.
So...now that's permeated through my brain, I returned to page one of OT to hunt down and ferret out all said adjectives I could. And words ending in -ing. Because I like adjectives and words that end in -ing, just like Antony does. I love the soft lead-ins to sentences and casual manner of conversation that's a cut above the crass, even as I'm describing something horrific. And some of the things Antony does are exactly that.
Perhaps it's taken the reality of what I'm aiming for in this story a bit too long to settle on my brain...but today I think it finally melted in and washed away the crap. A new flavor has emerged, like green peanut brittle with jalapeno in it -- sweet but with a real bite. That's how I like to make my Guacamole: smooth going over the tongue, and then sneaking around to grab you by the throat. That's how The Vanishing of Owen Taylor should be.
I now see me as the Silver Fox...and if you don't, well...here's my new image, just to show you what I'm like. Even though my eyes are blue. And I really fit the look of a red fox more than a black one. But still...
Yap! Yip! Yrrr! Snap! Snarl...
That's why I've been struggling to get Jake's tone right. I'll think I've got it, but then I go back and read and it's not there, yet. It's soft and smooth and easy...and doesn't read honest. But then I got to an exchange between Jake and Tone, where they almost come to blows, and I finally, finally, finally caught on to how their cadence was too similar. Jake's using fouler language, sure...but he's still got the careful lead-ins and adjectives. I cut them, and it worked.
So...now that's permeated through my brain, I returned to page one of OT to hunt down and ferret out all said adjectives I could. And words ending in -ing. Because I like adjectives and words that end in -ing, just like Antony does. I love the soft lead-ins to sentences and casual manner of conversation that's a cut above the crass, even as I'm describing something horrific. And some of the things Antony does are exactly that.
Perhaps it's taken the reality of what I'm aiming for in this story a bit too long to settle on my brain...but today I think it finally melted in and washed away the crap. A new flavor has emerged, like green peanut brittle with jalapeno in it -- sweet but with a real bite. That's how I like to make my Guacamole: smooth going over the tongue, and then sneaking around to grab you by the throat. That's how The Vanishing of Owen Taylor should be.
I now see me as the Silver Fox...and if you don't, well...here's my new image, just to show you what I'm like. Even though my eyes are blue. And I really fit the look of a red fox more than a black one. But still...Yap! Yip! Yrrr! Snap! Snarl...
December 25, 2014
Born Yesterday a la Tired Old Queen at the Movies...
You can also see where Jules Dassin got some of his inspiration for Never on a Sunday...
Family is great...
...so long as they live thousands of miles away and you can talk to them on the phone whenever you like. Which is what I do, and I'm better for it. I'm not exactly a gregarious person, and having to make nice with anybody for an extended period grates on me. I guess that makes me a curmudgeon...or a Scrooge. Can't decide which.
But having all day Christmas to myself is just wonderful. I sent no cards, this year. I gave no gifts. I cancelled my trip to San Antonio because I was just plain exhausted. For once I'm not hundreds of dollars in the hole now the day is almost done. Feels a LOT better.
I slept till noon then worked some on OT and watched Born Yesterday to remind myself how comedy and brute drama can mingle. Judy Holliday's character gets belittled and pushed around, culminating with her being viciously slapped around, yet she still spits out a couple of funny lines. It's a bit of a set-up movie -- dumb blond becomes a better person by learning about life and connecting with what America is supposed to be all about -- but it works. And it shows how corruption has long been part of Washington, DC.
Comedies used to have a lot more meat to them. His Girl Friday deals with corrupt officials using a man's execution to get re-elected. Hail the Conquering Hero has a woman who got pregnant but can't remember if she's married or not (in 1944!!). The Apartment is about a man working as little more than a pimp to get ahead and winds up inadvertently setting up the woman he loves for heartbreak. Tootsie is about a man posing as a woman to take a job away from a woman and who comes to realize just how poorly women are treated by men like himself (though this one does veer to the more lightweight side).
I'm trying to think of a comedy in the last 20 years that carries the weight of those others, and can't. Maybe I'm just not as well-versed in comedy as I think. Or maybe I'm just getting too old for today's version of comedy. I dunno. But to me there's a huge difference between drama and mawkish sentimentality, which what comedies seem to turn to when they want to be "dramatic."
Thing is -- I do want more fun in OT, to go along with the intense parts. I tried that in The Lyons' Den but don't know if I was all that successful. People have liked the book, yet others haven't (and were brutal in their disdain), and it doesn't sell that well. So maybe when I say I'm crap at writing comedy, I really am.
Doesn't stop me from trying.
But having all day Christmas to myself is just wonderful. I sent no cards, this year. I gave no gifts. I cancelled my trip to San Antonio because I was just plain exhausted. For once I'm not hundreds of dollars in the hole now the day is almost done. Feels a LOT better.
I slept till noon then worked some on OT and watched Born Yesterday to remind myself how comedy and brute drama can mingle. Judy Holliday's character gets belittled and pushed around, culminating with her being viciously slapped around, yet she still spits out a couple of funny lines. It's a bit of a set-up movie -- dumb blond becomes a better person by learning about life and connecting with what America is supposed to be all about -- but it works. And it shows how corruption has long been part of Washington, DC.
Comedies used to have a lot more meat to them. His Girl Friday deals with corrupt officials using a man's execution to get re-elected. Hail the Conquering Hero has a woman who got pregnant but can't remember if she's married or not (in 1944!!). The Apartment is about a man working as little more than a pimp to get ahead and winds up inadvertently setting up the woman he loves for heartbreak. Tootsie is about a man posing as a woman to take a job away from a woman and who comes to realize just how poorly women are treated by men like himself (though this one does veer to the more lightweight side).
I'm trying to think of a comedy in the last 20 years that carries the weight of those others, and can't. Maybe I'm just not as well-versed in comedy as I think. Or maybe I'm just getting too old for today's version of comedy. I dunno. But to me there's a huge difference between drama and mawkish sentimentality, which what comedies seem to turn to when they want to be "dramatic."
Thing is -- I do want more fun in OT, to go along with the intense parts. I tried that in The Lyons' Den but don't know if I was all that successful. People have liked the book, yet others haven't (and were brutal in their disdain), and it doesn't sell that well. So maybe when I say I'm crap at writing comedy, I really am.
Doesn't stop me from trying.
December 24, 2014
December 23, 2014
Almost back to NY time...
And finally realized I haven't sent out Christmas cards, and I'm in the hole for $300 thanks to this trip. I mean, it was worth the time and effort...but me and money don't like to stay on talking terms for very long. It'd be nice if I could change that around, but prospects are slim, at the moment. Oh well, story of my life. I'll take it off my taxes.
I dug more into the information I compiled in my trip to Palm Springs, and can see other changes that need to be made. I may shift and have this take place a bit in the future instead of the recent past. Meaning shifting Jake's initial confrontation with Philby from a sub-office in Palm Desert to the new building going up near the jail and Larson Center of Justice. But I'll really miss him needing to pee and making it an issue in the whole proceeding...
I'm also putting back in a red herring I'd begun to take out. It works a lot better to keep this one in because it's so obvious, anyone who reads the story will know I'm up to something. My hope is, they won't figure it out till I reveal the whole set-up.
Working half a day, tomorrow, so I may come home and sleep. I'm still draggy in the morning; I was in LA just long enough to get acclimated to west coast time, so rising at 8 is really like getting up at 5am. And I am not a morning person. Never have been. Never will be.
So be it...
I dug more into the information I compiled in my trip to Palm Springs, and can see other changes that need to be made. I may shift and have this take place a bit in the future instead of the recent past. Meaning shifting Jake's initial confrontation with Philby from a sub-office in Palm Desert to the new building going up near the jail and Larson Center of Justice. But I'll really miss him needing to pee and making it an issue in the whole proceeding...
I'm also putting back in a red herring I'd begun to take out. It works a lot better to keep this one in because it's so obvious, anyone who reads the story will know I'm up to something. My hope is, they won't figure it out till I reveal the whole set-up.
Working half a day, tomorrow, so I may come home and sleep. I'm still draggy in the morning; I was in LA just long enough to get acclimated to west coast time, so rising at 8 is really like getting up at 5am. And I am not a morning person. Never have been. Never will be.
So be it...
December 22, 2014
I need one of these...
If not a cute guy, at least a cool cat to knead me...hee, hee...Subtle changes
This photo is of Dockweiler Beach, just to the west of LAX. Jets taking off to the left and to the right, and people down below sitting around a campfire ignoring it all...or watching, maybe. I took it with my iPhone so it's kind of messy...but I like the feel of it.Amazing how a shift in location or change of action can reinvigorate a story and character. OT was beginning to sound pretty ABC...not extremely so, but edging towards a pedestrian feeling...when my day in Palm Springs injected fresh ideas into it. I drove everywhere I had Jake going, got the timing down, saw a Panda Express I referenced is in the same location as Home Depot, had dinner at a really uncomfortable CPK in Palm Desert (since when did their menu have EVERYTHING with chicken?), and saw how much of OT still works and what needs tweaking.
So I spent the plane ride reworking sections of the first two parts to fit the new reality. It wasn't easy to do, because there was a pair of twin boys of just over 1 year who were tag-teaming their screaming fits. But having something to concentrate on...and having my earbuds plugged in and Depeche Mode cranked up to nearly 8 on my laptop...made the flight livable.
I really think airlines should start training flight attendants on how to shut kids up. The parents were overwhelmed (they had two other kids with them) and lots of evil looks were being cast. I'm beginning to see the wisdom of having a pair of noise-cancelling headphones, like the guy next to me had. He slept through the flight. Didn't hurt he was cute, so I was able to cut some low-key glances at him.
Anyway, the rewrite cut anther 500 words from the count on this section, and I'm finally seeing the story hone down to what it's meant to be about...at least, what I think it's about, today. Who knows what it will be by the time I get done?
But that's the joy of writing...
December 21, 2014
Homeward bound...maybe...
There's a reason I avoid Burbank's Airport..and today it was working in spades. It's hard to get to from the freeway; if you don't want to hassle with the 5, you have to travel up Hollywood Way, which is a trip to get to off the 134, as it is. Then there are two false entrances before you get to the real one, and just try to get back onto the street going the correct direction if you take either of them. And the signage to keep you from making that mistake is confusing, at best.
Then you have to circle through the departing/arriving area with dozens of people and cars running around before you can circle back to the rental car area...which is half a mile from the airport and there is no shuttle; you walk it. If you've got two bags and a box (as I did) you have to go find a cart to use or muscle the things along the moveable walkways along an open pathway. And if your feet hurt? Tough.
At the terminal, if you do curbside checkin, you have to triple check the SW guys because they are SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOW, and they might just lose your iPhone and send one of your bags to the wrong place -- like one tried to do by sending my bag home and my box to Phoenix (my plane was going through Las Vegas, not there, and he could not explain why one tag was right and the other was wrong). My i-phone took a couple minutes to find; it was under a pile of someone else's crap. Another note: use printouts here.
I got through security well enough, but the airport is long and soulless, and has few options for food. Since I'm on the same plane all the way to Buffalo, a nearly 7 hour journey, I wanted a sandwich to eat en route because SW doesn't feed you. However, the ones they offer looked skanky, so I wound up with a salad that I'll have to hold carefully till I eat it. And now the plane is 20 minutes late. But the absolute worst is -- there's nothing but Pepsi, here, and that's really what it all boils down to.
No Dr. Pepper...and I hate Pepsi.
Then you have to circle through the departing/arriving area with dozens of people and cars running around before you can circle back to the rental car area...which is half a mile from the airport and there is no shuttle; you walk it. If you've got two bags and a box (as I did) you have to go find a cart to use or muscle the things along the moveable walkways along an open pathway. And if your feet hurt? Tough.
At the terminal, if you do curbside checkin, you have to triple check the SW guys because they are SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOW, and they might just lose your iPhone and send one of your bags to the wrong place -- like one tried to do by sending my bag home and my box to Phoenix (my plane was going through Las Vegas, not there, and he could not explain why one tag was right and the other was wrong). My i-phone took a couple minutes to find; it was under a pile of someone else's crap. Another note: use printouts here.
I got through security well enough, but the airport is long and soulless, and has few options for food. Since I'm on the same plane all the way to Buffalo, a nearly 7 hour journey, I wanted a sandwich to eat en route because SW doesn't feed you. However, the ones they offer looked skanky, so I wound up with a salad that I'll have to hold carefully till I eat it. And now the plane is 20 minutes late. But the absolute worst is -- there's nothing but Pepsi, here, and that's really what it all boils down to.
No Dr. Pepper...and I hate Pepsi.
December 20, 2014
Productive day, basically...
I slept in, got some laundry done, dealt with e-mails and another possible packing job, and had a nice long Skype session with a career counsellor, for my screenplays. I know I keep saying I have to drop writing scripts, but it's like an addiction and this was an opportunity I could not pass up. I figured it will be helpful for my books, as well.
She read some of Return to Darian's Point, and noted I have the format down, pat. I'm easy to read and have an interesting story. The only suggestion she had was pumping up the dialogue a bit, to better reflect the characters' personal interactions and not just be informative bits. I can see what she means. My dialogue is too real, and real dialogue can be totally banal. I've already been trying to do something like that with OT, so I had no argument with her observation.
Then we got into specifics, and there's where things got really good. I'm not a salesman; even when I worked in a book shop, I didn't sell people books...I suggested and informed and let them know what I liked and how I reacted to a book. So low-key as to be anti-sales. But books ain't cars, and doing the used car salesman crap will not work for them. What's nice is, she acknowledged this.
Then she suggested this is how I should sell my scripts. Not with the, "This is perfect for you" or "It's sure to be a blockbuster", push or anything like that, but to find out what a producer or actor or director likes or seems to always be interested in, and guide them to my work. A very soft-sell that will not always work but is probably workable for me. It would be more like I was interested in becoming a collaborator in a project...even though I can be a stubborn little cuss when it comes to my characters.
It's funny, but that reminded me of a time I met with an agent at Becsey-Wisdom; a major Literary Talent Agency in Hollywood. We were doing the chit-chat thing and he mentioned he liked classical pianists. I'd recently heard something played by Emmanuel Axe and suggested it; even sent him a CD. He took me on as a back-pocket client -- not a full client, but someone whose work he'd be willing to send over if I got a producer interested in reading something of mine. It got my scripts into a number of doors. Too bad my writing was crap, back then; things might have turned out differently. Then he left the business and moved to San Francisco to work in real estate, and I never did that, again.
Now I'm seeing how I should have...and wonder why I didn't...
She read some of Return to Darian's Point, and noted I have the format down, pat. I'm easy to read and have an interesting story. The only suggestion she had was pumping up the dialogue a bit, to better reflect the characters' personal interactions and not just be informative bits. I can see what she means. My dialogue is too real, and real dialogue can be totally banal. I've already been trying to do something like that with OT, so I had no argument with her observation.
Then we got into specifics, and there's where things got really good. I'm not a salesman; even when I worked in a book shop, I didn't sell people books...I suggested and informed and let them know what I liked and how I reacted to a book. So low-key as to be anti-sales. But books ain't cars, and doing the used car salesman crap will not work for them. What's nice is, she acknowledged this.
Then she suggested this is how I should sell my scripts. Not with the, "This is perfect for you" or "It's sure to be a blockbuster", push or anything like that, but to find out what a producer or actor or director likes or seems to always be interested in, and guide them to my work. A very soft-sell that will not always work but is probably workable for me. It would be more like I was interested in becoming a collaborator in a project...even though I can be a stubborn little cuss when it comes to my characters.
It's funny, but that reminded me of a time I met with an agent at Becsey-Wisdom; a major Literary Talent Agency in Hollywood. We were doing the chit-chat thing and he mentioned he liked classical pianists. I'd recently heard something played by Emmanuel Axe and suggested it; even sent him a CD. He took me on as a back-pocket client -- not a full client, but someone whose work he'd be willing to send over if I got a producer interested in reading something of mine. It got my scripts into a number of doors. Too bad my writing was crap, back then; things might have turned out differently. Then he left the business and moved to San Francisco to work in real estate, and I never did that, again.
Now I'm seeing how I should have...and wonder why I didn't...
