Kyle Michel Sullivan's Blog: https://www.myirishnovel.com/, page 20

Feedback from North Street Competition

I'm posting this early because I want to get it off my chest and out of the way.

I submitted volume one of A Place of Safety to North Street's Winning Writers competition almost a year ago, and just received the feedback they promised. These are the judge's comments:

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A Place of Safety-Derry gave me much to enjoy. Along with the premise itself, one of my favorite aspects of the book was the prose style. The book was full of excellent lines, for example on page 90 (“The fog grew deeper and more consistent, so that looking at some of these buildings made me feel more like I was staring at ghosts rather than dwellings where couples had been married and borne children and lived their lives in silence, always hoping tomorrow would be better”) and on page 173 (“Politicians always think they can manipulate people like pieces on a chess board and maintain control of them, but it never works that way”).

The specificity of the imagery of these moments made me feel immersed in the narrative. Having read only one book by you so far, I'd still feel fairly confident guessing that language and tone are key strengths of yours as an author. Great work.

There were also some areas that I thought might signal an opportunity for craft development. For example, the rising action seemed to extend to the end of the book rather than coming to a climax. This made me disappointed when I finished reading. In our busy world, reading is a source of pleasure but also an investment of time and emotional energy. As a reader, I spend that time and energy in the hope and expectation that my reading will pay off with catharsis and then closure. Since no climax appeared, I felt let down.

When I give this kind of feedback, some authors have responded that it was their intention to have the rising action go to the end. Sometimes they're planning a sequel and imagine that readers will want to continue to follow the action right into the next book. That approach can backfire, though, as nearly all readers expect a climax and may lose trust in an author if the book they're reading doesn't have one. And books in a series still need their own climaxes, even if there's also an overarching plot for the series as a whole.

As for myself, I know I would have felt more rewarded by my reading if every event in the rising action, and in fact in each one of the six main narrative elements, had been building to a recognizable climax. That doesn’t mean you haven’t told a good story overall, or that I think people won’t enjoy your book! But given the competitiveness of the contest and genre category, I couldn't justify advancing the current edition to the next round this year.

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So it was cut in the first round. While I appreciate their comments about my way with words, I can see it was a mistake to enter the book before it had been completed. The vast majority of writing competitions have a cookie-cutter attitude towards writing, and if it doesn't fit into the mold they want, it gets dumped.

To be honest, I don't know if the full book would have made a difference in the judge's reaction. New World For Old and Home Not Home are not sequels but continuations of Brendan's life. And I had to fight my tendency to that cookie-cutter mentality to keep his story true to him...and that meant no major catharsis. He's just finally able to live his life a bit more on his terms.

Tacos are medicinal...

Not the best of days, I must say. I'd long thought if I needed to leave the US I could go to Canada. Now that's not so sure. The only positive thing about that beast in the White House is he's a coward who backs down as soon as he's challenged by someone as strong as him. Tariffs against Canada and Mexico are on hold for 30 days...mainly because they slapped tariffs right back on our goods and Wall Street went into a dive.

I'm sure Felon47's rich backers told him to cut this shit out, now, now, now, before their portfolios became worthless. But he's still being a dick, while Muskrat's stealing the information of all Americans -- Social Security Numbers, payments, Medicare histories, everything the government has -- using a group of kids who look like they're still in high school.

I thought that was illegal, but Congress is only just beginning to say, Now you can't do that. Like what a scolding parent says to a child out of control. It's fucking insane, because gentle parenting never works when a brat's in meltdown.

On top of it, I had a dental appointment. Just a cleaning and x-rays, and checking out why a couple of teeth keep getting sore. Turns out one's a crown and my gum has receded a bit so crap is getting caught by it and I need to floss after every meal to make sure it is cleaned out. Perfect. I hate flossing.

So I filled my car's tank in advance of the spike in oil prices (already up more that $25 a barrel)...then went on a self-indulgent binge and got some unneeded groceries...and a teapot (for which I'll need to order a tea cozy)...and soft tacos at Taco Bell. It was those that pulled me back into a good mood.

Then when I got home, I found some recipes online to try out...including this one. That helped me handle a moment of worry at realizing the two jobs I have coming up would strain my credit card capabilities. But worked that out before I could spin off into panic mode.

Tacos really are the elixir of life...and so is anything pizza-ish. Guess I'm going out tomorrow to get these ingredients and fixing myself some comfort food to make me happier in this storm of chaos.

And I think I know how to end The Beast Dines Out...finally. And it ain't gonna be nice, but it will be fun. And then I'll get back onto something serious.

This is all I have to say...

 ...About the amazing stupidity of America for engaging in a trade war with Canada and Mexico...

God damn, we're led by morons...

Here come the censors...

Apparently, Oklahoma is leading the way in censoring books, now, by banning even the writing and the reading of them. See for yourselves. And notice the part where it allows anyone to file suit over this. Anyone!

In essence, Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet is in violation because they have sex when she is only 13 and he is 15 or 16...and don't tell me they're married. They do not have their parents' consent, nor that of the town's prince, so it's a sham marriage. Any school or theater that stages that play or shows Zeffirelli's film version will be open to a lawsuit.
Especially since and were underage when it was shot.
I have nothing to add to this, I'm so angry. Seems I may be in hot water if I ever go to that fucking state, again.

Celebration dinner...

It was snowing so instead of traveling 10 miles to Russell's Steak House on the other side of the airport, I went to an Outback that was only 4 miles away. And damn, it was good. The salad had some kind of blue cheese vinaigrette dressing with pecans, the 6oz filet and baked potato were perfect, and I even had cheesecake with chocolate sauce to finish my wine with.

I got so into it, I didn't think to take a photo before I began feasting...so this is how it was going. The DP was a prelude to the meal. 

Came out to nearly $70, including tip, which is about half what the other place would have cost, and I was purring like a kitten at the end of it. Only issue is, that one glass of wine made me sleepy. I don't have the tolerance I once had. Which is good, I guess.

It was still snowing when I came out, so drove home and took a nap. Still a bit sleepy. I may stay in bed all day, tomorrow. Just bring my laptop in and work on BDO, there.

Oh, I also got a haircut at a shop where this lovely Persian lad who goes by Q did a great job.

I think it's finally really sinking in just what I achieved with A Place of Safety. For me, even if to few others. I'd been working on the story for decades. Fighting over it with Brendan. Often thinking I couldn't get it done. Shouldn't get it done. And now it's over and I'm just...I don't know what I am.

I need to hermit for a while. Let my brain and body and spirit reconnect. Ignore the horrors growing everywhere, thanks to that beast in the White House and his demon spawn. 

It's done...

A Place of Safety is complete. I got a copy of the book with the glossy dust jacket and now it is ready...as you can see from the new banner I've posted on this blog. 

The last step will be setting it up in paperback, but that is in the future. Right now, I'm basking in the beauty of knowing I not only did what I said I would, for 2024, it was for a serious book about a devastating time in a young man's life, not something rooted in erotica and movie-style events.

I know without question anyone who was actually born and raised in Derry will have issues with the books, if they ever read them. I did my best to make each one as true as possible, but I've already had people from there say there's no way I can get the true flavor of being a Derry man or woman. Usually as they say they won't read it. And that's all right. What matters is, I stayed honest to Brendan and his story.

Now comes the fun part--trying to get reviews of the book on GoodReads and Amazon. Everything I've read about selling your book swears they are extremely important. But I wonder about that, after hearing from writers I know. People can be real assholes if they don't like you or your subject matter.

I've even got a stalker on Amazon giving my books one-star reviews. It's really funny. Not one word of explanation, just the negative rating. Almost like a silent There, I showed you. Talk about silly. Nasty reviews have been written about my work so many times, anonymous cowards mean nothing to me. 

So now it's finish BDO and then...we'll see...

Helps to be sneaky and sure

That's irin's process. The main thing he proves in BDO, chapter 19, is all that men are created venal. You just need to meet their price. As he says:

"If you want someone to fuck you over, pay them what they think they're worth. If you want them to fuck themselves over, pay them what they think you're worth."
And that's what he does with the diamonds he and Dirc receive from the Beast. They're Assher cut, real and near perfect...and 12 carat value, which puts them in the high six-figure range.
The boys are ensconced at a fine house in Carson City, NV. It's owned by an unsavory character named George, who dabbles in many quasi-legal things, including porn. When he realizes Dirc and Irin are in trouble, he arranges for some guys he knows to come and force them to have sex, on camera.

But Irin knows George and lets him sell the first diamond they're paid with. He also promises there will be more. So George shifts plans, completely...and instead of Irin and Dirc being made victims, the guys George brings in get used and sent to the Beast for its diner. Thus, more diamonds are provided and George is completely on their side.

A real diamond with few incursions (flaws) can be very valuable. A 12 carat Asscher cut diamond could cost anywhere from $100,000 to $1.5 million, depending on its cut, clarity, and color. These diamonds are typically more expensive than other diamonds of the same carat weight because of their rarity and the cutting process required to create them...so needless to say, George is happy to handle as many as my guys can bring him.

I'm up to nearly 50,000 words on this part of the story. With the 15K from the first part, that makes it a novel. Not even a month into 2025 and I've written another book. Granted, it's not exactly literature, or even on the same level as APoS...but it's something of an accomplishment.

I'll take those where I can get them...

Turmoil...

As I was working on The Beast Dines Out, today, I had a sudden attack of morality appear...and did not like it. I started making the next victim of Dirc and Irin deserving of his fate. To an extent. He's an asshole of an influencer on personal training and diet and very obnoxious about it...as if that excuses him being made into that night's special on the menu.

I almost made him a MAGAt piece of shit, and may yet...I dunno. This choice of offering to the Beast is turning out to be too deliberate to ignore the implications of it all. I think that's why I was getting nervous and trying to make it okay to deal with him, viciously.

And thinking about it, when Dirc went after the Cute Guard, it was when he was trapped in a lab-like setting being treated like a rat to run experiments on. Maybe my uncertainty started then.

But I've told myself I'm not going to do, in this story, what I was doing in Blood Angel...killing men who deserved death. That's not what really happens in life. Good people get hurt and die too soon while evil bastards live long lives. A reality only verified by the rare occasions where the opposite occurs.

For example, Jimmy Carter was as decent a man as they come, and he lived to be 100. While one of the worst J6 traitors who was pardoned by Felon47 got shot to death by a cop during a traffic stop, at the age of 42.

I wonder if I'm just approaching this moment incorrectly. Dirc's had a physical breakdown, now that he and Irin are safe. He'd been shoving forward using adrenaline to get them to that point and once it's reached, Irin is taking over, and Dirc's aches and pains and the intense weariness of doing it come crashing in for a day or two.

At this point in the story, he's the follower and not the leader of the two, which he has no problem with. But they've been equals in their relationship and that balance is off. Has been since they were both taken captive by the Area 51 crew.

I just need to find a way to regain it.

Am I writing stories...

...Or am I in a story that's being written about me writing stories? I ask this not as an existential question but because I've begun to wonder if I really exist, outside of the stories I write. My reasoning? I honestly cannot think of anything else to do.

Watch a DVD or movie? I dunno. What is there? I've only got a couple hundred to choose from, many of which I've already seen. And what sort of mood am I in? Noir? Comedy? Epic? I have both versions of Ben Hur so could compare them. I do love Dodsworth and Notorious and The Apartment and The Heiress, so could watch them, again. They are stories well-told.

Or...how about reading a book, instead? I only have 25 to choose from, and Adrian McKinty has a new Sean Duffy coming out. In hardcover. And I have a nice anthology of Edgar Allen Poe, which has some pieces I haven't read.

I should be getting my fresh copy of A Place of Safety-Home Not Home on Thursday, so that's something to keep in mind. 

But meanwhile, the only thing I consistently work on is a cheesy little SF/horror piece I'm posting for free on GayDemon. Working on chapter eighteen, right now, and see no end in sight for it. That's the only thing that gets me halfway excited...a story about two prolific serial killers who fall in love in a tale told with full amorality.

I sometimes wonder if I was a serial killer in a former life, and am condemned to this world where I'm unable to do anything like that even though deep within I want to. It's like I have the plans and thoughts and urges...but there's a lock on me that keeps me from following through. And that's why I write about them. That's my punishment for my previous existence. Look but don't touch.

There have been serial killers throughout history, but once upon a time there were so many wars going on the little bastards could satisfy their blood lust in acceptable ways. No no more. There may be Russians committing serial murders in Ukraine or Syria or the Central African Republic or even within Russia, but not with impunity, anymore. Even the Chinese, Israelis and Hamas have learned their slaughters are too easily found out and condemned.

At least, for now...

BookLife and Publishers Weekly

I got a copy of the January 20th Publishers Weekly, and on page 61 is the BookLife review of A Place of Safety-Home Not Home. It's a nice review, quite positive, but their grading system is on there and it's "Bs" for Cover, Typography, and Editing. I can accept that because they got an earlier file than that which is actually published.

I had it carefully edited before I published it, so I'm sure 95% of any issues they may have had with the book were handled. I'd sent them an earlier draft with the understanding it was undergoing editing, still, mainly because I wanted something to quote for the back cover of the book, and it takes them 5-6 weeks to get a review back to you.

I've had a couple of friends make reviews of my books, but I wish I knew how to get more people to review them on Amazon, B&N and Smashwords. I've tried just about everything I can think of--promotions, free copies, competitions--but nothing really seems to work.

For my MM erotica, I was in a group that did reviews on GoodReads, but even those were off and on. I've asked members of other groups I belong to if they'd read the three volumes of APoS and give me honest feedback, but they won't. Not even on a swapping reviews basis. All kinds of excuses. Hell, I can't even get family members to do it. My sister in San Diego and nieces refuse to read anything I've written.

I guess I could buy a review from Kirkus for HNH, but that last one was so wonky I'm leery of them.

I guess I'll just have to keep plugging along...