Kyle Michel Sullivan's Blog: https://www.myirishnovel.com/, page 128

I must be getting old...

This trip to NYC was a rough one. The ride down was nice but the client was a royal pain -- one of those people who knows you can't do what you say you'll do, who insists it should be done differently, who's sure he's being ripped off be someone, who doesn't listen to what you have to say, and makes the job a hundred times harder than it needs to be.

It was only 120 books, but they're high value so each one got a photograph taken in the order they were on an XLS the dealer sent me. Then I wrapped each one in tissue and bubble and set them in doubled-up boxes and wound up with a total of 10 cartons. The one positive aspect of this was, I got the job done in the time I said I would, barely and despite him, and the books are now en route to London.

I caught an earlier train, the next day, because the pickup was right on time, and used the ride to label the photos. It was harder than I thought, and tedious, and I got a nasty headache from it...and I'm only and 2/3 done. Ugh.

I did another pass on PM on the trip down and started up some sketches for A65, but the train ride was too rough to do any artwork, between Albany and NYC. I input the changes, this evening, and it's still 120 pages long. I'm not happy with my ending line; it's too awkward. I need something with a kick and all Alec's coming up with is a threat. That's weak. I'll work on it over the weekend then send it off on Sunday. I'm not going to spend any more time on this. I want it done and out there.

Saturday I'm doing an online Q&A on a Facebook site to publicize my books. I get half an hour to pose, posture and preen at 11:30 am, my time. It's a closed group, so I don't think anyone else can see it...but if you want to try, it's the Dark and Taboo Author Takeover on M/M Banter Group. I'll be pushing UG, first...and PM, since I'm doing the script...and everything else, as time allows...

I be dark and taboo, I do be...do...be dooo...

Warning: Not a SFW post...

PM is going to stay 120 pages, no matter what I do, so...here's my cast of characters:

Alec, who’s gay-bashed, finds out the cops are protecting his bashers and goes after them, himself, despite advice from his friends...
...Lonnie and...
…Joseph.
Alec tracks the bashers down to a frat house on a university, and sets up a vicious revenge by turning them against each other. First up is a guy he calls Mafia...
Then he convinces Mafia to help him with Soccer…
And the way he does it is manipulative and almost cruel, but well-deserved. Others involved are Quarterback…

…Surfer…
…and Freddy…
This script is too harsh to win any competitions, which is why I’m going to enter it. I want to hear their excuses for not advancing it to the winner’s table…because the rapes in it are no more violent or explicit than what’s been seen in movies like “Frenzy” and “A Clockwork Orange” and “Dangerous Liaisons”…they’re just gay…

...and so fuckin' what?

Last pass then let it sit...

I finally learned it's best to take a step back from what I'm writing and give myself time to separate my brain from it so I can come look at it with a fresh attitude. So I'm doing one more red-pen pass on Porno Manifesto as I ride down to NYC on the train, tomorrow, then I'm shifting focus to working on artwork to back up the reading of The Alice '65. I'm in a sleeper so I'll have privacy and a table, and I've got my pencils out and a fresh sketchpad, so I should be set.

I managed to cut one whole page out of PM, so it's now 119 pages long instead of 120. Woohoo. And I've done some rearranging of the story's points. This last pass is just to make certain everything is where it needs to be.  There's some voice-over, where Alec explains things, here and there...and I do a round-about opening where I start with the bashing, go back to the night before, then return to the bashing after adding some context...but overall it's a straight shot from beginning to end.

I don't see it happening, but wouldn't it be funny if this attitudinal script is the one that gets made?

I've decided to use Arnaud Dehaynin as the image for Alec, even though he's not blond. He's attractive enough to be wanted by a gorgeous guy like Alec's ex, Woody, but off-beat enough to think he's not good-looking enough for him. And I indicate throughout the story that Alec works out. So we'll see how it goes, in the morning.

I watched the first episode of Vera, again, as I ironed clothes. It's not the greatest mystery story, but the chemistry between Brenda Blethyn and David Leon is amazing. When he left, the show lost a lot of its heart.

Of course, it's possible he was let go after the fourth series. Because something I noticed was, in the title credits in the first 4 series, his name was part of the title sequence, after Brenda's. Beginning with series 5, the only actor whose name was in the title sequence was hers.

A lot can be read into little details like that, and I do love to read...

Things change when you change them...

That may sound nonsensical, but reality is...by adapting PM into a screenplay, I'm doing what writers have been doing for decades when shifting a book into film format -- changing aspects of the story. Clarifying parts that were left up to readers to decipher. Rearranging scenes to fit the flow of the storyline. Expanding characters and combining others.

It's still the same basic plot -- a gay man is attacked, the cops do nothing about it, so he takes revenge on his attackers. But in visualizing it from Alec's interior monologue, I've found that emphasizing the toxic relationship between him and his ex is best done sprinkled throughout the script to help illuminate what's happening in real time, for him...and give him little moments of catharsis.

I never thought I'd be able to do that with my own books. I've gone the opposite direction -- shifting a script into a novel several times -- but that worked well because I used it to dig deeper into the characters. Add darkness and light. This is removing many of the shadows of the story to make it available for others to layer in their own forms of illumination. And in doing so, I'm finding new meaning in Alec's actions.

What's added to them is remembering Jimmy Somerville's piercing voice in Bronski Beat's Smalltown Boy.
This song tore into me when it came out in 1984. This was back when MTV still played nothing but music videos and when I caught it, one night, I stopped cold and didn't move till I was able to come to terms with many things in my life. Now I'm adding this into Alec's sudden shift in existence...not just once but twice...and giving him a new edge and better reasoning for his vicious actions.

But that also means it's taking me longer to get done than I expected.

This is from a blog I follow...

EVERYTHING CHANGES TOO FAST TO WORRY ABOUT IT ALL RIGHT NOW

I received yet another email telling me how online promotion has changed. A message telling me how I need yet another podcast, book, or blog series about how to sell my book differently in order to do well. I deleted it. And I'll continue to delete them. . . for now.

Because right now I'm writing. I'm into Chapter 8 for one book, and Chapter 6 in another. (Yes, for some strange reason I've tackled two books at once.) I lay my head on the pillow at night purposefully with a scene in my mind so that my subconscious will work out the kinks. I often pop awake with ideas. Or maybe I don't, but when I sit to write, more ideas still happen to flow.

But study now about how to market a book that isn't close to being published? Nope. Delete. Delete. Delete.

But we're supposed to be marketing around the clock, if you read the gurus online. I swear there are more gurus than there are novelists. But I'm deep into plot, sculpting dialogue, infusing the senses and depth into character. . . honing the twists. I'm making magic. I have no time for lessons on becoming a salesman.

No, I'm not procrastinating. Really, I'm not. I'm making a conscious decision to conserve and preserve my talent and energies for the story. We learn a new language best from immersion into the culture. Where everyone and everything around us is about that language, and we are forced to adopt it, embrace it, and become fluent in it. Which doesn't happen when we are half one language and half another.

Besides, per the emails I received just today, in reading just the subject headers before I deleted them, apparently Amazon Marketing has changed, BookBub marketing came up with new methods, and Facebook Advertising takes a new sort of deft hand to not lose your shirt. So why worry about marketing now when it will become a different animal by the time you write THE END?

Sometimes you just write.

Another pass on PM done...

I finished inputting the changes for PM, so now will print it out and do another pass. What you see here is the title page; I still like the book's cover, as is. The model is from Brazil -- Saulo Melo, who could be the image of Surfer, in the story.

I'm not crazy about the final voice-over; it's messy and too all-encompassing. Needs to be stronger and to the point, but right now I can't think of what else to say. It's there to tie up the last of the strings in this story...and way overdoes it.

No...actually, it just doesn't do a good job of explaining what the Porno Manifesto is and why it matters. I know a lot of people will be turned off just by the title, so I want it to have a solid meaning before it goes out in the world to do battle.

It's now at 120 pages. I'm going to see if I can cut back by 10 pages. I don't usually have much luck with that, but it never hurts to try. There may be too much description, and there are long passages with no dialogue that can probably be condensed.

I'm off on another trip to NYC on the train, come Monday, this time using the roomette both ways so I'll have not only comfort and a meal, but will be able to work on both PM and the artwork for A65's video/slide-show. If I can make that happen...

I'll be doing a lot of experimenting, now.

AOC is the future...if we still have one...

She says this a hell of a lot better than I...

https://www.facebook.com/theguardian/videos/374236393419125/UzpfSTYzMjUwODAwOToxMDE1NzQyMjIyNzU0ODAxMA/

Porno Manifest nears completion...

Porno Manifesto has become a pretty solid script. I finished the packing job early, on Saturday, had my ritual In-N-Out burger animal style, then spent the rest of Saturday and all of Sunday working on it. I’ve been to the Bay Area so many times there’s nothing interesting here, anymore. Besides, I had a bad reaction to a frozen dinner I nuked and it was good to stay close to a toilet till Imodium kicked in.

I did two red-pen passes over my printout and began inputting the changes, today, so I can print out another copy and do it all, again. The story stays pretty much the same, but I’ve combined a couple of characters into one and made him a black lesbian who’s friends with Alec, my MC.

I’ve also rearranged a couple scenes and cut a near episode where Alec almost does something evil. He’s got justification to go after the guys who attacked him; not anyone else. And my explanation of what the Porno Manifesto is, at the end, doesn’t make sense, now...so I’m simplifying it.

Plus, I’ve given Alec more of a back-story -- dealing with a gorgeous asshole he got involved with, in part, and noting that his father’s dead and his mother’s an alcoholic.

There’s a scene in the script (that’s also in the book) where Alec sees one of his bashers has fed a girl a roofie and is taking advantage of her in his frat-house room, so Alec sneaks in and rapes the guy as he’s raping the unconscious girl. Later, he convinces the guy he raped that it was one of the other gay-bashers and convinces him to get even...by doing it back to him.

This is definitely a no-apologies script...and I’m having a hell of a lot of fun with it. Because to my mind, it’s a damn good. It goes fast and straight. It’s morally ambiguous, to put it mildly, and it has something to say about our world, today and the casual amorality allowed for white males but no one else.

I’m looking forward to sending it in to a bunch of screenplay competitions.

Porno Manifesto in first draft...

Man, stripped down to the basics...this is a wicked script. Close to amoral except it's got a strong morality to it, one that's not limited by hypocritical renditions of what is right and wrong. Not locked into pandering. Vicious and cruel, at times. Lost at others. I'll print out a copy to take with me to Oakland for a polish...make sure it's consistent...then it's off to AFF and the Nicholl.

Oh, it's 112 pages long...and could probably be cut down to 105 because I've got some areas a bit heavy in dialogue. But I also have some long sections without a word spoken, so...

If I'd had this attitude thirty years ago, I'd probably have a couple of writing Oscars now. Who knows? I might also have been driven to suicide by the destruction of my scripts by talented directors and actors. Who knows?

I used to was At The Movies with Siskel and Ebert, who were fairly intelligent about film. But sometimes they could really get it wrong. During one show they complained about how screenplays were badly written and how the writer didn't do his part right, then in the very next week's program talked about how actors make scripts better by sometimes ignoring what the writer's put in them. What irritated me wasn't just the two-faced aspect of what they were saying, it's that they were basically suggesting they had no idea how a film is made.

The script is the beginning. The director goes through and reworks the action and angles to suit himself, usually by deliberately ignoring what the writer is indicating; can't have people not know he's directing this movie. Then actors come in and ad lib or rework lines to suit themselves or drop lines altogether because they just know they can project the meaning better in their eyes.

But then comes the editing...from God knows how many different takes of the same scene...and you can completely rearrange a film's story at that time. If you've ever seen The Stuntman, you'll see how that works. That movie was completely restructured in editing; you can tell by the clothes the actors are wearing and where they are in the set.

Another way of screwing around the writer is by having so many different angles and shots and takes, you can cut the damn thing to ribbons. I saw that happen in two different movies, both of which had fantastic scripts -- A Chorus of Disapproval and The Last Time I Committed Suicide. The directors of both films edited them so quick and hard and needlessly, they destroyed the rhythm of the script and even the beauty of the performances.

But hey...it's always the writer at fault, right?

Article on writing...

I wonder if I should listen...

Why Starting a “Blog” is a Terrible Idea
Getting out there on the internet is kind of like making friends as a five-year old.

Sarah Kathleen PeckFollow
Mar 23, 2015


The internet can be an intimidating place — it’s full of people who seem to write effortlessly and publish often. It’s like they have crowds of people gathering and listening, which makes other people wonder if they’ll ever be able to join in.

Pretty soon the voices of doubt crop up: Why bother? Will you ever get to it? Should you join in at all?

Starting a blog is a wonderful idea, and it’s also a terrible idea. To be clear: you should definitely write, but if you think you should “start a blog,” well, I have some ways to reframe that which are really important.

Everyone wants to write, but a lot of people are scared to.

In every writing seminar I’ve been to — both as a teacher and as a student — the most frequent thing I hear is doubt:

“I want to start a blog, but I’m not sure where to start.”
“I have an idea, but I’m not sure anyone wants to read it.”
“I have too many ideas, so I end up never writing them down!”
“I’ve always wanted to write, but I haven’t started yet.”
“Someone else has already written about what I’ve been meaning to say.”

Why you should write: the magic of the Internet.

Let yourself be found — carve out a second home on the internet.

What do people find when they put your name into the Google machine?

If and when you DO want to connect with others, it’s important to carve out your own “home” on the internet. In the world of Google-ability, we are quickly researching each other in order to learn about their skills and talents.

The good news is that you can own this answer pretty quickly. If you want to craft three articles on a particular topic that’s interesting or a hobby to you (ideally something you’d like to be known for), you can start a Tumblr, Weebly or a WordPress site for free or almost free (less than $50, max, if you want to own a domain name and buy a theme) and post three articles under a header with your name and contact information on it. This can be done in as little as four weeks.

All of a sudden, when someone types in your name, or better yet — the topics you’ve written about — you can now be found. Your ideas can be known.

Resumes are static, and we’re searching for ideas through our web-maze of online information. In today’s world, it’s your job to make yourself “findable.” Put your information onto the web so that search engines — and people, and serendipity — can stumble across it.

Without putting yourself out there, it’s a lot harder to be found.

I get so many emails from people that say, “I was looking for an article about how to improve my writing, or how to write a thank you note, and I started reading your blog and sat down with you for an hour last night. It was so fun to read your thinking.”

By putting my words and ideas into a space where other people can find them, I’ve let myself be found. I can become known for my ideas. If you have an idea and it’s stuck in your head, there isn’t an easy way for anyone to know that you have it. Serendipity comes through connection and collision, and when people can find you and your ideas, possibility sparks.

Now these interactions didn’t happen right away; I blogged for at least six months with only my mother commenting, gently correcting most of my typos and spelling or grammar errors. My sister discovered Grammar Girl and gleefully pointed out my mistakes as well, which, as a younger sister, I’m sure delighted her. (I then hired her as my editor for my print projects, which probably made her happy as a clam — now she gets paid to point out all of my mistakes.) There was nothing perfect about my first few essays. Perfect is a pipe dream. There will be people who point out your mistakes, and people who see the bigger picture and connect with you over ideas. Both types of people exist, and you will meet both of them.

Don’t let being afraid of making a mistake stop you from making anything at all.

Start small: create a project, not a life.

The other thing to remember is that some of the best websites aren’t by people who show up every week. You might not have the stamina (or the resources) to enter into a writing relationship that’s indefinite in its time frame or scope. In fact, I think that’s a terrible way to start. For people starting a blog, I recommend thinking of it as a “Project” and not a “Indefinite Relationship.”When you commit to a blog and say to yourself that you’re going to write every week for the next two years, the minute you mess up or miss a week, you’ve essentially failed the project. Who wants to be disappointed that they tried something?

For people starting a blog, I recommend thinking of it as a “Project” and not a “Indefinite Relationship.” When you commit to a blog and say to yourself that you’re going to write every week for the next two years, the minute you mess up or miss a week, you’ve essentially failed the project. Who wants to be disappointed that they tried something?

The alternative, and what I recommend in all of my writing classes, is to create a project that you can do well at, by changing the parameters. Instead of promising an indefinite relationship, drastically reduce it in scope and start with a reasonable project that has a defined ending from the beginning.

When you can close a project successfully and complete it, you’re much more likely to continue on to a phase two or phase three of a project, rather than let it taper off into the land of incomplete projects. You also change the feelingrelationship you have with yourself — instead of creating an inevitable failure-situation, with resulting disappointments and twangs, putting pressure to show up in a way that might not be reasonable for you because of all of your various commitments–you’re creating a success situation, where you can end the project within a concrete time frame and still be very happy that you did it at all.

I recommend creating a project that says, “I’d like to talk about _[topic]_ in 4 posts, within the next two months.” Give yourself a start time, and end time, and a quantity. Specify a topic. Perhaps you want to blog about four fabulous meals that you cooked and created. Maybe you want to chronicle your science journey behind the lens of a microscope. Maybe you want to document your notes on a new class you’re taking. You could start a Tumblr with your favorite photos of doorways in your quirky city. The possibilities are endless, but you must pick one small one (and only one).

Don’t believe me? Blake Master’s compilations of Peter Thiel’s lectures is one of my favorite sites to read and there’s a fixed (static) amount of content — 13 lectures — accessible indefinitely for those that want to self-teach and read the series. He’s not adding more content. He’s creating great content and sticking it up in a place for people to find it.
What I find with myself–and others — is that if we try to start too big, we actually fail to start at all.

When we dream the big dream of master projects and hundreds of photographs and best-selling books, many people fail to start because the dream is too big. I’m all for big dreams and goals–and relish in them, dance in them, and visualize them — but when it comes to the implementation, start with something small enough to do in a day or a week. Want to write a best-selling book or post? Start by researching your ideas, one at a time, in short posts. You can collect them later. In fact, the short pieces will serve as your building blocks for the bigger pieces.

Almost everyone I know that’s created something big started one, small, tiny step at time.

Bottom line recommendation? Create a fixed, small project that’s do-able within a time frame of less than 3 months.

Start writing — right now:

My takeaways for you? Build yourself an “internet home,” even if it’s only to enjoy making something by yourself.

I’m biased — I think we should all participate in this new form of community space, this digital world where we can place our creations. If you’re wavering about creating something, let me be clear: I think it’s time for you to join in.

To make it easy on yourself, start small. Pick one topic or project that you’re interested in, and make a small commitment to create a collection of pieces–drawings, ideas, words, notes, stories, essays, paintings, photos, or other–around this topic.

Give yourself a deadline of 3 months or less (ideally one month). And finish it.

What happens? It gives you something to point to. It’s a reference point for the future. It’s a means towards executing your projects. It’s a way to start a conversation. And it’s a way to do the things you’ve been talking (or thinking) about doing.

And best-case scenario? You get to meet a few people along the way who like talking about what you’re doing.

Is it time to join in?

If you’ve been thinking about joining the online conversation, or dreaming of starting a blog, website, or publishing more, it’s time to start.

The goal isn’t to have the loudest voice on the internet. It’s to have a voice: your voice. The point of writing is not to just to publish for someone else: Writing and storytelling are about developing a relationship with your voice and ideas. It’s about finding and practicing ways of expressing your ideas to yourself, and then to others.

It’s an incredible place. I hope you’ll join in.