Kitty Crenshaw's Blog, page 4

April 7

Nothing on our spiritual journey is ever final; it is an ongoing process moving us deeper and deeper.~Betty

From The Hidden Life Awakened p104.

Why Pray If God Already Knows?

Gaston La Touche. A Maiden in Contemplation.

…Because prayer turns my heart toward God and opens me to the heavenly realms.

…Because prayer roots me deeper and deeper in the soil of God’s nurturing love.

…Because prayer reminds me this is not my true home.

…Because prayer allows the Spirit to pray in me when my pain is too deep for words.

…Because prayer grows gratitude and softens my heart.

…Because prayer frees me from the bondage of my sins.

…Because prayer is a sacred gift that lifts another before the great heart of God.

…Because prayer connects my heart with the heart of the suffering world.

…Because prayer accesses the goldmine within me.

…Because prayer brings God joy.

Jesus waits longingly for me in the living room of my heart, but I rush by, handing Him my requests on my way out into the chaos. I forget to thank Him for things. Then, when I can no longer outrun my sufferings, I return and collapse into His arms, quietly listening to Him remind me of my beauty and His strength. Something in my soul eases and opens. The joy of being known by Jesus transforms me.

From The Hidden Life Awakened p111:

“Every morning, Betty got up before sunrise and sat quietly with the simple desire to spend a little time alone with God. It was her human effort to make a little space in her life for God. She desperately wanted to learn how to love, so she came empty-handed to the altar and vulnerably opened her heart, as best she could, to what God wanted to show her. She was taking the time to come to prayer to receive the Love so that she could go out into the world and offer the Love. As always, God was faithful and met her right there.

‘I was learning very, very gradually to be still and know God as I made the choice to respond to Love. When we are in communion with God, we are drawn into that sweet relationship of love that is going on all the time between the Father and the Son. This is where I yearned to live. As I persevered in prayer, the divine life within me began to wake up and I began to see the world with new eyes. I was being re-created from within through the gift of Christ’s passion and sacrifice. It was from this hidden place in the Spirit, who is always praying through us, that I was going to be able to do the work of transforming my world.‘”

Betty wrote this prayer to help her quiet and refocus:

March 24

Claim for yourself more love from God, which is the key to all freedom. ~Betty

A Letter From Betty

Dear Ones,

The Lenten season has begun. It is a time when the church as a whole and we as believers enter an extended retreat with Jesus. It is an invitation to be with Jesus in his wilderness time of prayer, solitude, silence, and deprivation. It is a call to choose an ever-deepening conversion experience.

May we come in humility and gratitude to accept his invitation and offer not a candy bar or a glass of wine but our hearts and whole lives. Such a sacrificial offering creates a vacant space where God can give Himself, through the Holy Spirit, more fully into us, immersing us in the flow of divine relationship and freedom in the spirit of Love.

To live a spiritual life is to live continually in the presence of God, keeping watch with Jesus. To do this, the heart must be emptied of all other things. Over and over, it demands of us a choice, persistent discipline, and great courage. In his night of agony in Gethsemane, Jesus said to his friends, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me. Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” 1

So, to live in the Spirit, in Holy Communion, is to stay awake to life in the flow of divine relationship with all that it has to offer us. And what it offers is the Paschal mystery of life out of death, love out of pain, ecstasy out of agony, and light out of darkness. What a supremely precious gift this Love is. We are held unconditionally in it and experience, moment by moment, that such a Love cannot be said; it can only be felt with the heart. It is a gift that continues to transcend—spirit touching spirit.

It is my fervent desire that some of what you hear from these words might fill the emptiness in your heart and inspire you this Lenten season and that together we might embrace all things and all people with God’s love.

Beholding the Beloved, Trusting in His Mercy,

~Betty

Whom do I love, O God, when I love You?You are a God of eternal Trinity, a triple face of silence, serenity and grace,a blinding Love that wakes the furthest truth. You are a God of elusive presence whose essence takes me way beyond into a wilderness of trackless beauty and of sound,a haunting Love that follows and surrounds.You are a God of breathless passionthat stalks my heart with sorrow,a suffering Love made flesh,the Christ Who drank the cup of horror.You are a God of intimate compassionWhose Spirit is among us, a wounded Love, wide open to despair. All pain finds refuge there.Whom do I love, O God, when I love You?A Peace that is the listening of the soul. BWS

March 10

In your darkest times, in fearful circumstances and changes, if you will trust that you are in the presence of a Love you have not fully tasted, you will find hope. ~Betty

The Hidden Life Awakened p149

Mary, Mother Of Us All, Stood Strong

Botticelli. Madonna del Magnificat. Uffizi Galleries.

Mary, the young Jewish girl God chose to birth Jesus into the world, lived out her life with unspeakable anguish and sorrow. Only pure and simple faith enabled her to say yes to God when the one thing she understood immediately was the cost she would have to pay. She knew her parents would reject her in their humiliation, her neighbors would smirk and call her a liar, and her fiancé would abandon her. Nevertheless, her answer to the angel’s startling pronouncement was, “I am the Lord’s servant, may your word to me be fulfilled.” 1. She accepted, pondered, and waited in simple faith—and she did it to the bitter end.

Mary’s willing suffering is an enigma to us. What young mother carries the burden of knowing her baby’s destiny will be brutal humiliation, torture, and early death? How did she live knowing so many of her neighbors’ babies were murdered simply because her baby existed?2How did she keep the faith as she walked with him towards Jerusalem, knowing it would be to his passion and death? How did she hold on to trust as she was crushed in the rabid crowd screaming for his murder? How did she not drown in fury as she watched most of his best friends desert him? How did she endure when they stripped, whipped, and humiliated him? How did she not collapse at the pounding of the nails into his tortured flesh? She did not succumb but stood strong, rooted under the cross of all suffering humanity. As he drew in his last tormented breath, her precious son looked down from the cross at her and his dearest friend, John, still standing there and said, “Mother, John will be a son to you.” And to John, he said, “John, she will be your mother.” 3 At that moment, Mary became mother to us all.

As mothers, we can stand with Mary in silence and anguish, refusing fear as we watch our children and loved ones suffer. We can cling to love and hope, trusting with her strength that this is the suffering they must endure and their only path to Life. We, too, carry the kingdom of heaven within our mortal bodies. We, too, can stand in darkness and birth Love into the world. From this wombing place in our broken hearts, rivers of living water will gather and flow out to everyone around us.

“Many, many people come to the altar, but few find their way to the foot of the cross. Only John the beloved and the three Marys were there when our Lord was crucified—fear had scattered the rest. Jesus leads us to the foot of the cross, and then we are drawn into the cross. There we die to all that is false and become one with Him. It is when we pass through the cross that our hearts are softened by a profound compassion that embraces the whole world. We have finally passed through ourselves and transcended the things of the world that would keep us in bondage.”

From The Hidden Life Awakened pp214-215.

February 24

The deepest mystery about you is that your physical body, no matter how broken, is in reality the temple of the Holy Spirit and a bearer of Christ to the world.~Betty

From The Hidden Life Awakened p.93

The Great Mystery Of Creativity

Zao Wou-Ki. Embracement.

Creativity is the sacred threshold where the spiritual and material worlds meet. The unfathomable mystery is that we are spiritual beings freely embodied with the Holy Spirit and the wondrous ability to transcend ourselves in acts of love, courage, and creation called to be agents of the Creator in this world. Creating is a uniquely human act that calls into existence something that has never been. It frees us from the driving chatter in our heads and moves us toward that inner sanctuary in our soul that neither time nor created thing can touch—where the One who created us in love meets and recreates us in mercy.

The conscious and disciplined work of stretching beyond our boundaries to create is truly prayer and vital to the life of the Spirit within us. Our journey is to awaken our unique expression and offer it freely for God’s sake. The gifts that are given to us are not to be hoarded. Too often, we allow our compulsions and fears to block our creativity. We don’t believe our gift is valuable or good enough, so we don’t dare to begin. We are not to wait for the muse to magically come to us; we are to put ourselves in her path. As we let go of fear and negative thinking, we release the possibility of unlimited creativity flowing from the vast unknowable within us.

Whether our creative expression has any literary or artistic merit doesn’t make any difference. We press on. What we offer may not seem like much to anyone else, but we are not doing it for anyone else—we are doing it for God. These moments bring us into a liminal space of communion and expansive freedom because we are losing ourselves in and expressing ourselves through that which is uniquely ours, adding our piece to the mysterious mosaic that is building the kingdom of God.

We are surrounded by the witness of artists of every age that expresses the ineffable in transcendent words, music, and images. They offer their gift to us and to the beauty of eternity. In this space of giving and receiving, the giver and receiver transcend themselves, sharing in a creative act that is truly God-like.

From The Hidden Life Awakened pp72-73:

Along with this glimpse of freedom came the beginning of renewed creativity for Betty. We were created in the image of God the Creator, and our unique expression is crucial to God’s design for the healing of the world. Depression had caused this part of her mind to become almost nonexistent. Its awakening and development were an integral part of her healing. Her slow walk to wellness began by choosing to do those things that enhanced and awakened her senses. The simple act of paying attention to the warmth of the water on her skin when she showered was helping her wake up to her outer senses: taste, touch, sight, sound, scent helped her wake up to her inner senses: imagination, memory, and will. All of these things fed her creativity and enlarged her capacity to connect with the divine Creator.

Writing down her thoughts in what she called “little meditations” became Betty’s particular creative outlet. The jottings were crude initially, but as she continued to try to embrace and express her pain and open herself to the Holy Spirit’s leadings, her meditations became more profound and more beautifully expressive.

“As I began to awaken to life and become aware enough to see and say thank-you for the tiniest bit of creativity and beauty, I was finding hope for deeper healing and the path to the recovery and discovery of my authentic, God-created self. I became more creative as I created. As the Holy Spirit refined my creativity, it became more pure. My poetry began to flow and reflected the image of God because it was coming through the pain and the sorrow and the suffering of transformation. This is creative surrender.”

Your voice speaks often now and clear. You are the fire of silence seeking a soundless will. You are heaven happening when my soul is still. BWS

In this video, Betty talks about finding wholeness in creativity. Be encouraged.

February 10

God is not seeking restoration but transformation. ~Betty

The Other Good Samaritans

Jan Joest von Kalkar. Christ and The Good Samaritan at the Well.

Did you think there was only one good Samaritan story in the Gospels? There are three, and one was about a woman. The Jews in Jesus’ day despised Samaritans for being racially mixed with pagan ancestry and not adhering strictly to mainstream Judaism. Samaria was a large area in central Palestine between Galilee and Judea. Rather than contaminate themselves by walking through it, they would cross the Jordan River to walk all the way around it. Jesus passed through it frequently. He was thirsty and tired that day, so he sat down at the well.

The woman who came up to draw water was a Samaritan. She was alone because she was an outcast for her scandalous sexual behavior. Jesus, a Jew, was sitting there when she arrived that day and shocked her by talking to her. He chatted kindly but told her he knew she had been divorced five times and was currently living with a man she wasn’t married to. She was taken aback at first, but his manner was non-threatening, so she began to ask him questions about his religion versus hers. When she told him she believed the promised Messiah was coming, Jesus said to her, “You don’t have to wait any longer; the Anointed One is here speaking with you—I am the One you’re looking for.” Immediately she put down her jug and ran into town, telling everyone that the One they had been waiting for was at the well. Her neighbors came streaming out from the village to see. Many had failed to see the woman’s true goodness before but now believed because of her testimony. They thanked her and said, “Now we’ve heard him ourselves. We no longer believe just because of what you told us, but we are convinced he is the true Savior of the world!” 1

Will I offer Your love and presence to those who have rejected me?

The more familiar good Samaritan story is one that Jesus told to a young law expert who was only interested in justifying himself. When Jesus told him to love God and his neighbor, the young know-it-all asked who his neighbor was. Jesus answered with a story of a man robbed, beaten, stripped naked, and left to die on the side of the road. A priest passed by him without stopping and then a Levite passed by him without stopping. Finally, a Samaritan came by and not only stopped to help the man but took him to a lodge and paid for all his expenses. When Jesus asked the young Jew which was the true neighbor, he had to answer that it was the man who had shown mercy. Then Jesus told him to go and do likewise.2

Will I stop long enough to see and succor Your broken people?

The third good Samaritan was a leper who was an outcast, forced to live outside of the village with nine other lepers. Leprosy was such a horrible, filthy and contagious disease no one would go near them. All ten believed in Jesus’ power to heal, so when they saw him walking by one day, they cried out from a distance for him to heal them. Rather than healing them on the spot, he told them to go show themselves to the priests. They were healed as they went. Only one of them, when he realized he was healed, turned and ran back, throwing himself at Jesus’ feet thanking him—it was the Samaritan. Jesus asked him, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”3

Will I, when my prayer is answered, return to thank You?

Who are my Samaritans? Non-Christians, Trumpists, progressives, Christians, republicans, democrats, abusive parents, self-centered siblings, illegal aliens, addicts, homeless people, wealthy power mongers, corrupt politicians? All are sinners like me. These angry, awful, idolatrous, diseased people are not who they think they are and certainly not who I think they are. They are my neighbors and God’s beloved children who may not know it yet. Can I find Jesus in them in their distressing disguise? Will I quench their thirst a bit by my loving attention and acceptance? Can I have empathy for their pain I cannot see? Will I believe that they may become saints even if not yet? Will I see beyond what I see?

Will I be merciful to my neighbors whether their choices look good to me or not?

Jesus, our Good Shepherd, overcame death as the Lamb rejected and senselessly slaughtered by the wolves of dogma and self-justification. He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by his wounds, we are healed.4

I will, with the tenth leper, return to throw myself at His nailed feet and thank Him.

From The Hidden Life Awakened p128.

“When we defend ourselves, define another person or situation, or deny our culpability, we cease to see things as they really are. A situation that we label as terrible is, in reality, to be used in some mysterious way for our good. We might label a woman because she is too beautiful or successful, so we never see her heart. A child might be giving us a difficult time, so we label him ‘a problem child’ and relate to him from that place, never seeing his heart or our part in the problem. That child belongs to God. We need to trust Him to be as creative with our childrenas He has been with us. We get so caught up in competing, comparing, and controlling that there is no hope of love. Only those who have confronted their pride and come to humility fully experience harmony in relationship with God, with others, and with self. Such harmony then opens an infinite vastness for others to move about freely in. Remember that love always takes the initiative. Love affirms and honors the dignity of each human soul. Love feels no power or superiority in the humiliation and desecration of another fellow sufferer.