Gina Harris's Blog, page 71
February 7, 2020
Band Review: SOUND of SU
SOUND of SU is a musical duo based in Germany, consisting of Sophia Crüsemann and Umut Yildiz. They currently have six videos available on Youtube.
It starts with such a heavily synthesized version of "White Christmas" that it leads one to expect a more techno band.
Some songs bear that out, especially with their original material, but there are also some very soulful covers that show another side.
"Tear Down the Walls" may be the best example of a SOUND of SU song, then, because while there are strong technical elements, the chorus touches on that ability for soul.
As the subject matter of the songs often seems to deal with the difficulty of finding humanity surrounded by the technology of modern life, finding a balance and harmony between the organic and mechanical may be the most natural flow for this new band.
https://www.facebook.com/SOUND-of-SU-122131911664123/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtJ0QX9JmsRRTHV2_az76kw
https://twitter.com/SCrusemann
It starts with such a heavily synthesized version of "White Christmas" that it leads one to expect a more techno band.
Some songs bear that out, especially with their original material, but there are also some very soulful covers that show another side.
"Tear Down the Walls" may be the best example of a SOUND of SU song, then, because while there are strong technical elements, the chorus touches on that ability for soul.
As the subject matter of the songs often seems to deal with the difficulty of finding humanity surrounded by the technology of modern life, finding a balance and harmony between the organic and mechanical may be the most natural flow for this new band.
https://www.facebook.com/SOUND-of-SU-122131911664123/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtJ0QX9JmsRRTHV2_az76kw
https://twitter.com/SCrusemann
February 5, 2020
Endorsing
It has been a source of some irritation to me that no matter how often my church says that we don't endorse any political candidate or party, so many members are certain that only Republicans can be righteous.
Despite that, I have felt like the policy of not endorsing is good. Usually even though you have to choose a candidate, and there may be clear superiority between candidates, how many people who seek public office deserve a religious endorsement?
That being said, there may be a point to endorsing whoever is running against evil.
Again, this is where the inability to deal meaningfully with racism is a problem. We should not have been so vulnerable to Russia. We wouldn't have been if we had already dealt with the fact that our history is built on slavery and genocide, and that settler colonialism is not superior to the other kinds.
As long as we don't deal with that, we will not get it right. We will devalue people, and it won't just be people of color and and women and people with disabilities, because just like no amount of money is enough to satisfy greed, no amount of tyranny can ever be enough to satisfy a lust for power. If you don't deal with that, the other things you do to try and deal with the environment or economics or health care won't be enough.
That can be explored in much greater depth, but I am not doing it now.
What I mainly want to say is that the most important thing to me in any candidate is how they are on equality. Castro was head and shoulders above the rest.
I had previously written that Castro's support of Warren makes sense, but I did not actually say that she is my choice. I am saying that now.
And she is not good enough on race.
But she is better than the others. She is more thorough at policy, she has a more diverse staff, and I believe Castro can be a good influence.
Sanders cannot move beyond economic equality solving everything (it won't), and his us-versus-them populism feels comfortable for people who vote based on their racism, which he keeps excusing as economic anxiety. I wrote a fair amount about things that were wrong with him last time around, and I have seen no signs of improvement.
Biden still clearly believes every stereotype about Black people. If serving for eight years with Barack Obama hasn't enlightened him, I have no hope for him.
Buttigieg seems steeped in the same traditional racism as Biden, but less amiable.
Yang is specifically attractive to white nationalists. I don't think it's intentional, but it's a problem.
I admit I have not spent enough time looking into Klobuchar; the main thing that sticks out are stories of mistreating employees. Some of that failure to research is due to doubt about her viability. Castro had similar viability issues, but he was so exemplary it was worth the fight.
I would vote for any of them over Trump. I would vote for Bloomberg or Steyer over Trump. But of what's left, I think Warren is the best.
Is that a ringing endorsement? Am I thrilled? No, but that's politics.
Especially when we fail to deal with structural racism.
Related posts:
https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2020/01/odds-and-ends-on-mlk-day.html
Despite that, I have felt like the policy of not endorsing is good. Usually even though you have to choose a candidate, and there may be clear superiority between candidates, how many people who seek public office deserve a religious endorsement?
That being said, there may be a point to endorsing whoever is running against evil.
Again, this is where the inability to deal meaningfully with racism is a problem. We should not have been so vulnerable to Russia. We wouldn't have been if we had already dealt with the fact that our history is built on slavery and genocide, and that settler colonialism is not superior to the other kinds.
As long as we don't deal with that, we will not get it right. We will devalue people, and it won't just be people of color and and women and people with disabilities, because just like no amount of money is enough to satisfy greed, no amount of tyranny can ever be enough to satisfy a lust for power. If you don't deal with that, the other things you do to try and deal with the environment or economics or health care won't be enough.
That can be explored in much greater depth, but I am not doing it now.
What I mainly want to say is that the most important thing to me in any candidate is how they are on equality. Castro was head and shoulders above the rest.
I had previously written that Castro's support of Warren makes sense, but I did not actually say that she is my choice. I am saying that now.
And she is not good enough on race.
But she is better than the others. She is more thorough at policy, she has a more diverse staff, and I believe Castro can be a good influence.
Sanders cannot move beyond economic equality solving everything (it won't), and his us-versus-them populism feels comfortable for people who vote based on their racism, which he keeps excusing as economic anxiety. I wrote a fair amount about things that were wrong with him last time around, and I have seen no signs of improvement.
Biden still clearly believes every stereotype about Black people. If serving for eight years with Barack Obama hasn't enlightened him, I have no hope for him.
Buttigieg seems steeped in the same traditional racism as Biden, but less amiable.
Yang is specifically attractive to white nationalists. I don't think it's intentional, but it's a problem.
I admit I have not spent enough time looking into Klobuchar; the main thing that sticks out are stories of mistreating employees. Some of that failure to research is due to doubt about her viability. Castro had similar viability issues, but he was so exemplary it was worth the fight.
I would vote for any of them over Trump. I would vote for Bloomberg or Steyer over Trump. But of what's left, I think Warren is the best.
Is that a ringing endorsement? Am I thrilled? No, but that's politics.
Especially when we fail to deal with structural racism.
Related posts:
https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2020/01/odds-and-ends-on-mlk-day.html
February 4, 2020
Repeating the past
There were some issues with the start of primary voting in Iowa yesterday. My optimistic take on it is that this emphasizes the need for backup, like the paper ballots and photographs that they have. We learned the lesson (I hope) early and with a fairly small number of delegates at risk.
There are many issues with the primary process, and how democratic they are. Part of that is the emphasis on less representative states, like Iowa and New Hampshire. That hit me harder watching the "Pride in the Name of Love" episode of Mixed~ish. As they celebrated the first Martin Luther King Day, non-participating states were listed, and Iowa and New Hampshire were right in there.
I expected it to be Arizona, because of the Public Enemy song, but I had not understood the whole picture then. Arizona had recognized the holiday, but then a new governor backtracked, badly.
Despite Arizona not being listed, there were others. Of course Utah was one. Researching it more, the most horrifying thing may have been learning that Alabama, Arkansas, and Mississippi acknowledge the holiday now by pairing it with Robert E. Lee day. Yes, their birthdays were close together, but still celebrating the one feels like a contradiction.
Regardless, the primary schedule gives the earliest votes to some really white and not very progressive states. They may acknowledge the holiday now, but their foot dragging does not bode well, and closer examination at the states tends to bear that out.
Campaigning is expensive and exhausting, where having momentum makes a huge difference. Democrats started with a more diverse slate of candidates - we do way better than Republicans - but the balance of power still leans too heavily toward white people.
We run into the same issue with the electoral college. The way the votes are distributed favors slave states. It was done intentionally, and even after we have officially acknowledged that slavery is wrong the influence persists.
This is where it connects to not being rude and bringing up uncomfortable topics: slavery is barely mentioned in the constitution. They thought about it, they contorted around it, but even when they are stating that a slave counts as three-fifths of a person, it couldn't be stated in those terms. There are free persons, and they count as one. Then there are other persons. Everyone knew what it meant, why not say it?
It seems like a way of avoiding shame.
You can argue about Jefferson's influence on the constitution, but one of the most interesting things about him to me is what he endeavored to hide at Monticello. There was a tunnel underneath so you wouldn't see all the work required to create the pretty picture of bounty. There were dumbwaiters, and show gardens even though there were needed actual producing gardens. There was at least one windowless room. There was a show of magnificence, but that show was reliant on slavery and not willing to admit it.
Clearly Jefferson was not the only one with that problem.
Collectively we still seem to be unable to admit what benefits we get from racism and what motivations we have for clinging to it; that leaves a lot of room for denial about its effects. There are people who have done great work, but there are still too many pulling against progress.
The benefits they are getting are not worth the suffering that they cause.
It is past time to start doing better.
There are many issues with the primary process, and how democratic they are. Part of that is the emphasis on less representative states, like Iowa and New Hampshire. That hit me harder watching the "Pride in the Name of Love" episode of Mixed~ish. As they celebrated the first Martin Luther King Day, non-participating states were listed, and Iowa and New Hampshire were right in there.
I expected it to be Arizona, because of the Public Enemy song, but I had not understood the whole picture then. Arizona had recognized the holiday, but then a new governor backtracked, badly.
Despite Arizona not being listed, there were others. Of course Utah was one. Researching it more, the most horrifying thing may have been learning that Alabama, Arkansas, and Mississippi acknowledge the holiday now by pairing it with Robert E. Lee day. Yes, their birthdays were close together, but still celebrating the one feels like a contradiction.
Regardless, the primary schedule gives the earliest votes to some really white and not very progressive states. They may acknowledge the holiday now, but their foot dragging does not bode well, and closer examination at the states tends to bear that out.
Campaigning is expensive and exhausting, where having momentum makes a huge difference. Democrats started with a more diverse slate of candidates - we do way better than Republicans - but the balance of power still leans too heavily toward white people.
We run into the same issue with the electoral college. The way the votes are distributed favors slave states. It was done intentionally, and even after we have officially acknowledged that slavery is wrong the influence persists.
This is where it connects to not being rude and bringing up uncomfortable topics: slavery is barely mentioned in the constitution. They thought about it, they contorted around it, but even when they are stating that a slave counts as three-fifths of a person, it couldn't be stated in those terms. There are free persons, and they count as one. Then there are other persons. Everyone knew what it meant, why not say it?
It seems like a way of avoiding shame.
You can argue about Jefferson's influence on the constitution, but one of the most interesting things about him to me is what he endeavored to hide at Monticello. There was a tunnel underneath so you wouldn't see all the work required to create the pretty picture of bounty. There were dumbwaiters, and show gardens even though there were needed actual producing gardens. There was at least one windowless room. There was a show of magnificence, but that show was reliant on slavery and not willing to admit it.
Clearly Jefferson was not the only one with that problem.
Collectively we still seem to be unable to admit what benefits we get from racism and what motivations we have for clinging to it; that leaves a lot of room for denial about its effects. There are people who have done great work, but there are still too many pulling against progress.
The benefits they are getting are not worth the suffering that they cause.
It is past time to start doing better.
February 3, 2020
Legacies
I'm sure there would have been an outpouring of grief anyway, but the sudden shock of Kobe Bryant's death may have made the grief hit harder. There were many tributes paid, and reminders that he wasn't the only person on the flight, and also reminders that he was a rapist.
We get a certain amount of stock responses any time death is paired with fame. Some people share stories, and others bring up the simultaneous deaths of non-famous people to make those mourning feel bad for only caring about famous people. Some people bring up things that were bad about them, and others post quotes about not celebrating the death of anyone, or that this isn't the time, though I suspect for the original posters a concer is that if it doesn't happen then, when will it?
I sort of went over a lot of this when Paul Walker died, so I wouldn't really get into this, except that I can't help but be aware of two issues and both have political ramifications.
Perhaps I should get it out of the way first that I haven't followed sports closely for many years, and I don't remember rape allegations. I do remember something about Bryant cheating on his wife, and I hope that's not how rape was spun, but that has happened before.
(And some apologies for apparently being most inspired by those I am not deeply invested in. Maybe it's the emotional distance allowing me to overanalyze.)
Anyway, the first general issue is that people seem to be having a harder time giving anyone they don't like credit for anything at all; people are heroes or villains and the people who disagree with you on who gets which labels have to be shouted down. (I might have one candidate and followers more in mind than others, but it is not limited to them.)
Putting rape to the side for one moment -- and only for one moment -- Kobe Bryant was a good player, and not always a good teammate, but a supportive friend and an attentive father, even though he was not a completely loyal husband, and creative and philanthropic, though philanthropy distracts from the inherent problems of capitalism. That's just from things that people have been saying after losing him. Does the good mean that the bad didn't matter, especially if it's in the past? Does the bad mean he should not get any credit for the good? Does it even make sense to look at human beings that way?
(Which is probably part of the allure of dehumanizing the people you don't like politically.)
Now, what if that bad includes a crime?
Here's the first thing I am going to say; I believe he did it. If there was another woman who experienced the same thing, but backed down when she was harassed, and the initial woman bringing accusations got a settlement... realistically there are probably even more women, and I can't blame them for not coming forward.
Does being a rapist undo him being a good father?
There is a lot that can be unpacked about a system where some people deserve good treatment, but it is not required for others, and the double standard and rape culture. I am not getting into that now.
However, if we brush things aside when famous people are alive, then it can't be a surprise if there is still something to talk about when they die. I think it would be better to talk about it when they are alive. Give people a chance to change and grow.
Not everyone is going to want personal change and growth, but so many of these personal wrongdoings reflect a larger wrong in society. If we keep pushing hard topics aside because he is a good player (or actor or is holding elected office) or she took the money (or the prosecutor didn't think there was a strong case or he had a promising future), it perpetuates all of it. It is true for everything, but yes, more rapists, and more people being raped.
That might sound more social or cultural, but there are political ramifications too.
I intend to write more about that tomorrow.
We get a certain amount of stock responses any time death is paired with fame. Some people share stories, and others bring up the simultaneous deaths of non-famous people to make those mourning feel bad for only caring about famous people. Some people bring up things that were bad about them, and others post quotes about not celebrating the death of anyone, or that this isn't the time, though I suspect for the original posters a concer is that if it doesn't happen then, when will it?
I sort of went over a lot of this when Paul Walker died, so I wouldn't really get into this, except that I can't help but be aware of two issues and both have political ramifications.
Perhaps I should get it out of the way first that I haven't followed sports closely for many years, and I don't remember rape allegations. I do remember something about Bryant cheating on his wife, and I hope that's not how rape was spun, but that has happened before.
(And some apologies for apparently being most inspired by those I am not deeply invested in. Maybe it's the emotional distance allowing me to overanalyze.)
Anyway, the first general issue is that people seem to be having a harder time giving anyone they don't like credit for anything at all; people are heroes or villains and the people who disagree with you on who gets which labels have to be shouted down. (I might have one candidate and followers more in mind than others, but it is not limited to them.)
Putting rape to the side for one moment -- and only for one moment -- Kobe Bryant was a good player, and not always a good teammate, but a supportive friend and an attentive father, even though he was not a completely loyal husband, and creative and philanthropic, though philanthropy distracts from the inherent problems of capitalism. That's just from things that people have been saying after losing him. Does the good mean that the bad didn't matter, especially if it's in the past? Does the bad mean he should not get any credit for the good? Does it even make sense to look at human beings that way?
(Which is probably part of the allure of dehumanizing the people you don't like politically.)
Now, what if that bad includes a crime?
Here's the first thing I am going to say; I believe he did it. If there was another woman who experienced the same thing, but backed down when she was harassed, and the initial woman bringing accusations got a settlement... realistically there are probably even more women, and I can't blame them for not coming forward.
Does being a rapist undo him being a good father?
There is a lot that can be unpacked about a system where some people deserve good treatment, but it is not required for others, and the double standard and rape culture. I am not getting into that now.
However, if we brush things aside when famous people are alive, then it can't be a surprise if there is still something to talk about when they die. I think it would be better to talk about it when they are alive. Give people a chance to change and grow.
Not everyone is going to want personal change and growth, but so many of these personal wrongdoings reflect a larger wrong in society. If we keep pushing hard topics aside because he is a good player (or actor or is holding elected office) or she took the money (or the prosecutor didn't think there was a strong case or he had a promising future), it perpetuates all of it. It is true for everything, but yes, more rapists, and more people being raped.
That might sound more social or cultural, but there are political ramifications too.
I intend to write more about that tomorrow.
January 31, 2020
Live Show Review: Radical Revolution
Last weekend was '80s Weekend at McMenamin's Crystal Ballroom, with videos Friday night and '80s cover band Radical Revolution playing on Saturday.
I'm calling this a live show review rather than a concert review, because it was more of a dance party than a concert, and there was nothing wrong with that. People were shaking and dancing and they liked it. We revisited a decade full of the best dance music, and it was a trip.
I appreciate that they had both male and female vocalists - Jason Fellman and Christie Bradley, allowing a wider range of songs that could be sung. I don't care if the gender matches the original artist, but with just one singer there are bound to be songs that they can't manage, not matter how good their individual range is.
Therefore, we were able to hear songs from A-ha, Whitney Houston, Kenny Loggins, Bon Jovi, Loverboy, Pat Benatar, the Bangles, and many more.
Speaking of range and coverage, there is an impressive mix here. In addition to singing, Fellman was also playing guitar. I was surprised to see the keyboardist, Mark Kent, take Fellmans' guitar and play that for a while.Then Fellman picked up a different guitar, so for a while there were three guitars playing, plus bass.
But there was an earlier surprise for me when I first arrived, seeing Mike Johnson (whose interview appeared yesterday) playing bass. I have known him more for keyboard and drums.
In fact, Fellman also plays drums in Stone In Love, and Stone In Love's lead singer, Kevin Hahn, was playing guitar here, with Radical Revolution rounded out by Justin Cook on drums.
So there is a whole stable of gifted, talented, versatile musicians up on the stage, playing for you to dance the night away.
https://j-fell.com/radicalrevolution/
(Stone In Love was previously reviewed here: https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2019/01/concert-review-stone-in-love.html)
I'm calling this a live show review rather than a concert review, because it was more of a dance party than a concert, and there was nothing wrong with that. People were shaking and dancing and they liked it. We revisited a decade full of the best dance music, and it was a trip.
I appreciate that they had both male and female vocalists - Jason Fellman and Christie Bradley, allowing a wider range of songs that could be sung. I don't care if the gender matches the original artist, but with just one singer there are bound to be songs that they can't manage, not matter how good their individual range is.
Therefore, we were able to hear songs from A-ha, Whitney Houston, Kenny Loggins, Bon Jovi, Loverboy, Pat Benatar, the Bangles, and many more.
Speaking of range and coverage, there is an impressive mix here. In addition to singing, Fellman was also playing guitar. I was surprised to see the keyboardist, Mark Kent, take Fellmans' guitar and play that for a while.Then Fellman picked up a different guitar, so for a while there were three guitars playing, plus bass. 
But there was an earlier surprise for me when I first arrived, seeing Mike Johnson (whose interview appeared yesterday) playing bass. I have known him more for keyboard and drums.
In fact, Fellman also plays drums in Stone In Love, and Stone In Love's lead singer, Kevin Hahn, was playing guitar here, with Radical Revolution rounded out by Justin Cook on drums.
So there is a whole stable of gifted, talented, versatile musicians up on the stage, playing for you to dance the night away.
https://j-fell.com/radicalrevolution/
(Stone In Love was previously reviewed here: https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2019/01/concert-review-stone-in-love.html)
January 30, 2020
Interview: 5 questions with MIKE JOHNSON
Saturday night I went to see Radical Revolution - a local 80s cover band - at the Crystal Ballroom. That review will appear tomorrow. Tuesday afternoon I chatted with their bass player, Mike Johnson.
Along with RadRev, Johnson plays drums for Journey cover band Stone in Love, bass and vocals in Red Light Romeos, frequently subs in for other bands on drums, and has recently started a new dance band: Slick Richard & the Candy Band. You may also remember him from previous bands like Camaro Hair and the Flurries.
I have also known him for long enough that going to Tower Records and buying cassingles might have been a thing we did together.
The conversation has been edited for clarity and brevity.
How has playing multiple instruments affected your outlook and work?
For one thing, I think I just had ADHD as a kid, and would get decent at one thing and then want to move on. I drummed for ten years, and then when I started my first band I didn't want to be the drummer. I started composing on piano and that became my main thing.
It makes the gigs fresh because they are always different. I can have two gigs back to back, playing two nights, two different instruments. It is jack of all trades, master of none, but I can play well enough. My calendar is more refreshing. It is "do what you love" but not the same thing every day.
What do you think of the local music scene?
I'm probably the wrong person to ask. The market is a lot more saturated. Back in the day there were six main places to go see music, and now there are all of these little tap rooms. It seems like it was more buzzing back in the 90s.
Also, when Camaro Hair was playing it was before social media, you had to play the smaller gigs and work up. Now you can get a following on Youtube. It's different to come back and know how to be a part of that. Most musicians aren't business guys and don't want to spend their time on that.
What would be helpful for musicians?
It's hard because as the market gets saturated clubs are struggling too, and club owners really have to watch their bottom lines. The thing I would like to see the most is to have the pay level out for streaming. There have been some changes in legislation, but there are so many ways to get music for free that you underpay people. For shows, I haven't seen people rip off musicians like they used to, where they would have you sell a hundred tickets and then they underpay, but I'm not a guy that books. I have the best manager in town (Jason Fellman of J-Fell Presents) and we get treated really well. I've been doing 80s covers as a joke for 20 years; it's funny at this point in my life to be getting paid for it.
You recently completed the Hood to Coast relay; does being a runner help your stage stamina?
I'm not a runner. Well, I run sometimes, but not as much most of those guys. I had to really ramp it up for the relay, and then just exploded and partied. It was super fun and I didn't die. For singers and breathing, cardio is good.
What are some of the musical goals that you are looking forward to?
I have a million songs that I've written over the years that I haven't had time to record. One solo album in 2009 took four years to make. My goal is to get caught up and put out my backlog of material. The cover bands started playing a lot more, so it takes longer. It's like being a painter with an idea in your head, and just not getting it out. That's my main goal. I found a guy that is great to work with so it should be easier now. We have laid down eight tracks, and I should have a video ready in a few months.
Related links:
Red Light Romeos: https://www.facebook.com/redlightromeos/
Radical Revolution: https://j-fell.com/radicalrevolution/
Stone In Love: https://j-fell.com/stoneinlove/
Also, if you missed it... https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2020/01/talk-to-me.html
Along with RadRev, Johnson plays drums for Journey cover band Stone in Love, bass and vocals in Red Light Romeos, frequently subs in for other bands on drums, and has recently started a new dance band: Slick Richard & the Candy Band. You may also remember him from previous bands like Camaro Hair and the Flurries.
I have also known him for long enough that going to Tower Records and buying cassingles might have been a thing we did together.
The conversation has been edited for clarity and brevity.
How has playing multiple instruments affected your outlook and work?
For one thing, I think I just had ADHD as a kid, and would get decent at one thing and then want to move on. I drummed for ten years, and then when I started my first band I didn't want to be the drummer. I started composing on piano and that became my main thing.
It makes the gigs fresh because they are always different. I can have two gigs back to back, playing two nights, two different instruments. It is jack of all trades, master of none, but I can play well enough. My calendar is more refreshing. It is "do what you love" but not the same thing every day.
What do you think of the local music scene?
I'm probably the wrong person to ask. The market is a lot more saturated. Back in the day there were six main places to go see music, and now there are all of these little tap rooms. It seems like it was more buzzing back in the 90s.
Also, when Camaro Hair was playing it was before social media, you had to play the smaller gigs and work up. Now you can get a following on Youtube. It's different to come back and know how to be a part of that. Most musicians aren't business guys and don't want to spend their time on that.
What would be helpful for musicians?
It's hard because as the market gets saturated clubs are struggling too, and club owners really have to watch their bottom lines. The thing I would like to see the most is to have the pay level out for streaming. There have been some changes in legislation, but there are so many ways to get music for free that you underpay people. For shows, I haven't seen people rip off musicians like they used to, where they would have you sell a hundred tickets and then they underpay, but I'm not a guy that books. I have the best manager in town (Jason Fellman of J-Fell Presents) and we get treated really well. I've been doing 80s covers as a joke for 20 years; it's funny at this point in my life to be getting paid for it.
You recently completed the Hood to Coast relay; does being a runner help your stage stamina?
I'm not a runner. Well, I run sometimes, but not as much most of those guys. I had to really ramp it up for the relay, and then just exploded and partied. It was super fun and I didn't die. For singers and breathing, cardio is good.
What are some of the musical goals that you are looking forward to?
I have a million songs that I've written over the years that I haven't had time to record. One solo album in 2009 took four years to make. My goal is to get caught up and put out my backlog of material. The cover bands started playing a lot more, so it takes longer. It's like being a painter with an idea in your head, and just not getting it out. That's my main goal. I found a guy that is great to work with so it should be easier now. We have laid down eight tracks, and I should have a video ready in a few months.
Related links:
Red Light Romeos: https://www.facebook.com/redlightromeos/
Radical Revolution: https://j-fell.com/radicalrevolution/
Stone In Love: https://j-fell.com/stoneinlove/
Also, if you missed it... https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2020/01/talk-to-me.html
January 29, 2020
Sharing the news
I bet you thought I was going to post yesterday; I certainly thought so!
It was a busy day, and a lot of the things that happened were good. There was also some computer trouble, which is concerning, but life goes on, except when it doesn't.
Like many I was shocked at the sudden death of Kobe Bryant. I have also had some concerns about how the story broke. It sounds relatives were notified before the story broke. I hope that's true. Even if it is true (I'm not sure that I trust TMZ for ethical decisions), rumors were flying around - including the erroneous announcement that Rick Fox was on board (he was not). That was irresponsible and unkind, and I am sure it came from desperation to break story and goose ratings.
Without saying that it doesn't matter, I have also come to the conclusion that there is no good way to find out.
I actually figured out several years ago that there is no good way to lose your mother. One friend had lost her mother to cancer after dealing with it for a while, and another lost hers suddenly to heart issues. It was pretty clear that the elimination of some pain only leaves room for different pain. With dementia we get to do a lot of mourning along the way, but we have no illusions that it will mean less mourning at the end.
Recently some plans with friends fell through, but we had still arranged care for Mom, so my sisters and I went to do errands. We ended up talking a lot in the car, and it was good. There was a time when I thought we didn't have very long left, and Maria periodically likes to call me out on that. She did it again, but I had an answer because I have been thinking a lot. We got to get stuff out, and ask and answer with a level of freedom and openness that we often don't have.
It allowed me to ask one thing that has been worrying me: how do you want to find out?
Because I am our mother's primary caretaker, and often alone with her, it could happen while they are at work or something. There is not a good way to give the news, because it will not be good news. Do you want a call or a text? They didn't know, and I don't blame them.
I had this thought once that maybe a text asking them to call would be the way to go, but then thought, no, they would know that's what it was. Then I thought, no, it could be something else, like a fall or a hospitalization. Then I thought, what if I text all four siblings to call, and then they call at the same time so I am having a fraught call with one and then others are calling in and can't reach me? That won't help anyone! It might not be very likely either, but still.
One thing I have done is come up with a putative list of who needs to be notified, and in what order. For Mom's nieces and nephews I can message some via Facebook and some via e-mail, but I will definitely not post to Facebook until all of those messages have been sent. Then they will help notify each other, and that's fine. It's more about keeping communication open and bonds strong.
I have a sense that it is morbid to be thinking about this so much (and then on a completely different level that maybe these posts should go on the preparedness blog). When there is so much that we can't know - and believe me, forgetting that she is deteriorating is out of the question - then being able to make a few points solid is kind of comforting. It reassures me that I can handle this, and that we will be okay.
The other thing that frequently comes up when people are talking about death is that life is uncertain, so remember to tell people you love them and not waste time.
It's not quite as uncertain here; we know we have already lost pieces of her, and we know that will continue inexorably until the end. That could be a reminder to show love and not hold resentments, but it is also incredibly stressful, which leaves room for resentment.
The gift that has come from thinking it could be soon has been remembering to work through things, show love, and give her good times in any ways that I can. There was a brief period where she would frequently threaten to get a lawyer to figure things out, because of things that she was worried about that were missing or not real, but felt real to her. It would have been terrible to lose her then, when there was so much hostility coming from her. It was not easy being on the receiving end of that.
Now we have been dealing with it for a while, and it is easier to conceive that it could go much longer, even though there would be frequent changes within that. Now the gift has to be learning how to do the marathon: how to keep going, how to maintain the ability to keep going, and the patience with that.
Maybe that's not so much a gift as a need, but I am socializing more, and that is a gift. Maybe sometimes it is more about the perspective.
It was a busy day, and a lot of the things that happened were good. There was also some computer trouble, which is concerning, but life goes on, except when it doesn't.
Like many I was shocked at the sudden death of Kobe Bryant. I have also had some concerns about how the story broke. It sounds relatives were notified before the story broke. I hope that's true. Even if it is true (I'm not sure that I trust TMZ for ethical decisions), rumors were flying around - including the erroneous announcement that Rick Fox was on board (he was not). That was irresponsible and unkind, and I am sure it came from desperation to break story and goose ratings.
Without saying that it doesn't matter, I have also come to the conclusion that there is no good way to find out.
I actually figured out several years ago that there is no good way to lose your mother. One friend had lost her mother to cancer after dealing with it for a while, and another lost hers suddenly to heart issues. It was pretty clear that the elimination of some pain only leaves room for different pain. With dementia we get to do a lot of mourning along the way, but we have no illusions that it will mean less mourning at the end.
Recently some plans with friends fell through, but we had still arranged care for Mom, so my sisters and I went to do errands. We ended up talking a lot in the car, and it was good. There was a time when I thought we didn't have very long left, and Maria periodically likes to call me out on that. She did it again, but I had an answer because I have been thinking a lot. We got to get stuff out, and ask and answer with a level of freedom and openness that we often don't have.
It allowed me to ask one thing that has been worrying me: how do you want to find out?
Because I am our mother's primary caretaker, and often alone with her, it could happen while they are at work or something. There is not a good way to give the news, because it will not be good news. Do you want a call or a text? They didn't know, and I don't blame them.
I had this thought once that maybe a text asking them to call would be the way to go, but then thought, no, they would know that's what it was. Then I thought, no, it could be something else, like a fall or a hospitalization. Then I thought, what if I text all four siblings to call, and then they call at the same time so I am having a fraught call with one and then others are calling in and can't reach me? That won't help anyone! It might not be very likely either, but still.
One thing I have done is come up with a putative list of who needs to be notified, and in what order. For Mom's nieces and nephews I can message some via Facebook and some via e-mail, but I will definitely not post to Facebook until all of those messages have been sent. Then they will help notify each other, and that's fine. It's more about keeping communication open and bonds strong.
I have a sense that it is morbid to be thinking about this so much (and then on a completely different level that maybe these posts should go on the preparedness blog). When there is so much that we can't know - and believe me, forgetting that she is deteriorating is out of the question - then being able to make a few points solid is kind of comforting. It reassures me that I can handle this, and that we will be okay.
The other thing that frequently comes up when people are talking about death is that life is uncertain, so remember to tell people you love them and not waste time.
It's not quite as uncertain here; we know we have already lost pieces of her, and we know that will continue inexorably until the end. That could be a reminder to show love and not hold resentments, but it is also incredibly stressful, which leaves room for resentment.
The gift that has come from thinking it could be soon has been remembering to work through things, show love, and give her good times in any ways that I can. There was a brief period where she would frequently threaten to get a lawyer to figure things out, because of things that she was worried about that were missing or not real, but felt real to her. It would have been terrible to lose her then, when there was so much hostility coming from her. It was not easy being on the receiving end of that.
Now we have been dealing with it for a while, and it is easier to conceive that it could go much longer, even though there would be frequent changes within that. Now the gift has to be learning how to do the marathon: how to keep going, how to maintain the ability to keep going, and the patience with that.
Maybe that's not so much a gift as a need, but I am socializing more, and that is a gift. Maybe sometimes it is more about the perspective.
January 27, 2020
A year or so of magical reading
I have been working on this one post for a while, realizing that it is too much for one post, but not sure how many and which posts it actually is.
It started out as a reading list about death, but also about dementia, and also about wholeness. Those topics all loom large in my life right now, and the bump into each other around my edges.
Really, it started with Black~ish. Specifically, it started with episode 5 of season 5. Bow commemorates her recently deceased father's birthday; it does not end up being as celebratory as she intended. Grief hits hard, and not always when you expect it. We see very different modes of grief for her and her mother, but what stayed with me was Pops' initial reluctance to deal, and then his understanding of how some things can comfort the living. It ends with Pops giving Dre instructions for his burial and so on. He says he is doing it for Dre. Based on his observing Bow, that makes sense, but also there is a feeling that it matters for Pops too. Maybe it is more of an acknowledgment of his love for Dre and Dre's family.
It inspired me to get to two books that I had been meaning to read for a long time and never gotten around to. They did relate to death. I thought I could pull them out, maybe along with some others, and be more able to deal with death. They were Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach, and The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion.
The main thing Stiff did for me was introduce me to human composting, which does interest me.
Didion's work affected me more. For one thing, it kept giving me more books to read. Well, it really only ended up being three.
Intensive Care: A Doctor's Journal by John F. Murray
The first case involved a dementia patient, and I felt that, but she was the exception. I ended up thinking more about how we decide to value human life, but the closer look at what kind of life-saving measures are possible and their potential success rates may help me be clearer-eyed in the case of decision-making.
How We Die: Reflections of Life's Final Chapter by Sherwin B. Nuland
There was a chapter on dementia, and they were good (if hard) things to know. I also recognized other things here where reading it may not have just been for my mother. Part of how it helps me is giving me a mechanical understanding of different ways that the body stops. At some point I assume I will need to deal with that.
I also realized that this was probably the book an aunt was talking about once after the funeral of a cousin. Her main takeaway was that everyone wants to die peacefully in their sleep, and that's not how it usually happens. That is something I think about a lot.
The last one was the most disappointing. It was an etiquette book by Emily Post, but I failed to note the edition. I did check one out from the library, but it was too current and everything had changed.
In that older edition there was more about things like how long to wear black, and how old clothes could probably be dyed rather than new ones purchased at great cost. Also, light, warm foods - like tea and broth - were important for the bereaved, because their systems had received a shock. Warm liquids could invigorate the circulation without requiring too much physical effort. Didion noticed that in conjunction with a neighbor who kept bringing her congee (apparently a rice porridge) through the period right after her husband's death.
I clung to that. A lot of my reading on this (and there is much more to write) stems from knowing that I am the responsible one that will have to look out for everyone else. That's not necessarily thinking that they are expecting it, but it is certainly not expecting anyone else to be on top of it. Perhaps that is not fair, but if everyone is kind of dazed and listless, then I need to know that they need broth! There is nothing like that in the new edition; it is all about what correspondence can be conducted through e-mail and social media, and things like that.
Where Didion hit me hardest was predicted by the title, but I didn't see it coming. Didion's year came after their daughter was hospitalized and then her husband died, everything suddenly and unexpectedly. There was a lot to deal with, and a lot of time spent trying to understand death and the body and medicine better. The "magical thinking" part is that on one level she was operating as though she believed that somehow by learning enough she could reach back and change it.
Yeah, that sounds like me. But you can't.
It is not a reason not to learn. I mean, at some point someone is still probably going to need broth. I will still need to know what phone calls to make. If there are signs of something coming, recognizing those signs can be helpful, whether that means there is something you can prevent or something you need to accept.
However, it is possible that there is really more to learn about acceptance, and that's something to work on as well.
It started out as a reading list about death, but also about dementia, and also about wholeness. Those topics all loom large in my life right now, and the bump into each other around my edges.
Really, it started with Black~ish. Specifically, it started with episode 5 of season 5. Bow commemorates her recently deceased father's birthday; it does not end up being as celebratory as she intended. Grief hits hard, and not always when you expect it. We see very different modes of grief for her and her mother, but what stayed with me was Pops' initial reluctance to deal, and then his understanding of how some things can comfort the living. It ends with Pops giving Dre instructions for his burial and so on. He says he is doing it for Dre. Based on his observing Bow, that makes sense, but also there is a feeling that it matters for Pops too. Maybe it is more of an acknowledgment of his love for Dre and Dre's family.
It inspired me to get to two books that I had been meaning to read for a long time and never gotten around to. They did relate to death. I thought I could pull them out, maybe along with some others, and be more able to deal with death. They were Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach, and The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion.
The main thing Stiff did for me was introduce me to human composting, which does interest me.
Didion's work affected me more. For one thing, it kept giving me more books to read. Well, it really only ended up being three.
Intensive Care: A Doctor's Journal by John F. Murray
The first case involved a dementia patient, and I felt that, but she was the exception. I ended up thinking more about how we decide to value human life, but the closer look at what kind of life-saving measures are possible and their potential success rates may help me be clearer-eyed in the case of decision-making.
How We Die: Reflections of Life's Final Chapter by Sherwin B. Nuland
There was a chapter on dementia, and they were good (if hard) things to know. I also recognized other things here where reading it may not have just been for my mother. Part of how it helps me is giving me a mechanical understanding of different ways that the body stops. At some point I assume I will need to deal with that.
I also realized that this was probably the book an aunt was talking about once after the funeral of a cousin. Her main takeaway was that everyone wants to die peacefully in their sleep, and that's not how it usually happens. That is something I think about a lot.
The last one was the most disappointing. It was an etiquette book by Emily Post, but I failed to note the edition. I did check one out from the library, but it was too current and everything had changed.
In that older edition there was more about things like how long to wear black, and how old clothes could probably be dyed rather than new ones purchased at great cost. Also, light, warm foods - like tea and broth - were important for the bereaved, because their systems had received a shock. Warm liquids could invigorate the circulation without requiring too much physical effort. Didion noticed that in conjunction with a neighbor who kept bringing her congee (apparently a rice porridge) through the period right after her husband's death.
I clung to that. A lot of my reading on this (and there is much more to write) stems from knowing that I am the responsible one that will have to look out for everyone else. That's not necessarily thinking that they are expecting it, but it is certainly not expecting anyone else to be on top of it. Perhaps that is not fair, but if everyone is kind of dazed and listless, then I need to know that they need broth! There is nothing like that in the new edition; it is all about what correspondence can be conducted through e-mail and social media, and things like that.
Where Didion hit me hardest was predicted by the title, but I didn't see it coming. Didion's year came after their daughter was hospitalized and then her husband died, everything suddenly and unexpectedly. There was a lot to deal with, and a lot of time spent trying to understand death and the body and medicine better. The "magical thinking" part is that on one level she was operating as though she believed that somehow by learning enough she could reach back and change it.
Yeah, that sounds like me. But you can't.
It is not a reason not to learn. I mean, at some point someone is still probably going to need broth. I will still need to know what phone calls to make. If there are signs of something coming, recognizing those signs can be helpful, whether that means there is something you can prevent or something you need to accept.
However, it is possible that there is really more to learn about acceptance, and that's something to work on as well.
January 24, 2020
Album Review: Admission by Torche
This review is going to seem more critical than I intend.
I really enjoyed listening. There is this rumble that goes through my chest when Torche plays. I like it.
I just can't necessarily tell it from their other albums.
I know it's them. I love them. That is not a problem.
I am not even saying that all of their tracks sound the same, because "Triumph of Venus" still exists. However, there is not an equivalent track to that on this album. "Submission" probably stands out the most, but it isn't really about standing out. I am tempted to say that is a common issue with instrumental bands, but Torche does sing; the singing just doesn't matter as much as the guitars.
It is also true that I often praise bands for trying new things and digging deeper. I know.
So Torche continues doing their thing, but they do it better than anyone else.
Related posts:
https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2015/07/concert-review-torche.html
http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2014/02/band-review-torche.html
I really enjoyed listening. There is this rumble that goes through my chest when Torche plays. I like it.
I just can't necessarily tell it from their other albums.
I know it's them. I love them. That is not a problem.
I am not even saying that all of their tracks sound the same, because "Triumph of Venus" still exists. However, there is not an equivalent track to that on this album. "Submission" probably stands out the most, but it isn't really about standing out. I am tempted to say that is a common issue with instrumental bands, but Torche does sing; the singing just doesn't matter as much as the guitars.
It is also true that I often praise bands for trying new things and digging deeper. I know.
So Torche continues doing their thing, but they do it better than anyone else.
Related posts:
https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2015/07/concert-review-torche.html
http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2014/02/band-review-torche.html
January 22, 2020
Talk to me
I have been frustrated with not having as much time for music listening, even with sprinkling album reviews into the mix. I have gotten somewhat better about the other topic blogging, but at this time two music reviews a week is not possible (except with live shows, sometimes).
Blogging every single day may not be practical anyway; I don't know when I will get back to the travel blog or the preparedness blog regardless. I have been thinking about this hole on Thursdays, though, and I kind of want to start running interviews.
Speaking of things where you don't know if they're practical...
With the band reviews, there are many times where I have thought it would be nice to be able to interview some of the musicians when they come to town anyway. That is not new. More recently, it has seemed more possible. Every now and then at a smaller gig someone recognizes me from the reviews, or I am there because I know them some other way. I probably could get those people to answer a few questions. For the bands that follow me on Twitter and end up on the review list because of that, well, they are following people to get more attention; they might be open to more detailed attention.
So there are definite possibilities there. I don't know that I could interview someone related to the Friday music review every week, but that leads to something else.
Several years ago, I had this idea that I would like to do something like a magazine that focused on people. The name People was already taken, but maybe it could be Persons.
The idea came partly from the Smithsonian magazine. There was an article on pernambuco, a wood that is particularly well-suited to violin bows. In the course of the article they spoke to someone who makes bows, and a musician, and someone who harvests the wood, I think. They were all there about the wood, but it seemed like there could be room to learn about them too.
Also, there was something about Andrew Steele.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-XYsDNh4-886rMNLnnwR_w
It is easier to find information on him now, but then he was part of a story where they couldn't get good analytical photos of these Martian rocks, so - if I recall correctly - he requested the samples and invented a camera to get the right angles, and he was a student when he did this. I believe it was a graduate student, not a high school student, but still! The confidence and ingenuity there was amazing.
Finally, I saw this guy on the Metro in DC who stood out because he looked like a young Viggo Mortenson. Also, we were near the Pentagon, and he had a badge on so I knew his name and rank. Shallow, perhaps, but a friend explained that for his rank based on his evident age, he must have risen through the ranks pretty quickly. There would be a story there, beyond his being good-looking. (Though he was really good looking.).
At the time those factors all worked together to impress me that everyone has a story. I'm not the only one to know that. Now there are options like Humans of New York and Faces of Homelessness that delve into that more. I certainly didn't do anything with it at the time, but now I kind of want to.
But also, Friday is going to be an album review of Torche's latest, Admission, and there was a member that I used to interact with sometimes but he is no longer on the band. I don't anticipate any post tomorrow.
Blogging every single day may not be practical anyway; I don't know when I will get back to the travel blog or the preparedness blog regardless. I have been thinking about this hole on Thursdays, though, and I kind of want to start running interviews.
Speaking of things where you don't know if they're practical...
With the band reviews, there are many times where I have thought it would be nice to be able to interview some of the musicians when they come to town anyway. That is not new. More recently, it has seemed more possible. Every now and then at a smaller gig someone recognizes me from the reviews, or I am there because I know them some other way. I probably could get those people to answer a few questions. For the bands that follow me on Twitter and end up on the review list because of that, well, they are following people to get more attention; they might be open to more detailed attention.
So there are definite possibilities there. I don't know that I could interview someone related to the Friday music review every week, but that leads to something else.
Several years ago, I had this idea that I would like to do something like a magazine that focused on people. The name People was already taken, but maybe it could be Persons.
The idea came partly from the Smithsonian magazine. There was an article on pernambuco, a wood that is particularly well-suited to violin bows. In the course of the article they spoke to someone who makes bows, and a musician, and someone who harvests the wood, I think. They were all there about the wood, but it seemed like there could be room to learn about them too.
Also, there was something about Andrew Steele.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-XYsDNh4-886rMNLnnwR_w
It is easier to find information on him now, but then he was part of a story where they couldn't get good analytical photos of these Martian rocks, so - if I recall correctly - he requested the samples and invented a camera to get the right angles, and he was a student when he did this. I believe it was a graduate student, not a high school student, but still! The confidence and ingenuity there was amazing.
Finally, I saw this guy on the Metro in DC who stood out because he looked like a young Viggo Mortenson. Also, we were near the Pentagon, and he had a badge on so I knew his name and rank. Shallow, perhaps, but a friend explained that for his rank based on his evident age, he must have risen through the ranks pretty quickly. There would be a story there, beyond his being good-looking. (Though he was really good looking.).
At the time those factors all worked together to impress me that everyone has a story. I'm not the only one to know that. Now there are options like Humans of New York and Faces of Homelessness that delve into that more. I certainly didn't do anything with it at the time, but now I kind of want to.
But also, Friday is going to be an album review of Torche's latest, Admission, and there was a member that I used to interact with sometimes but he is no longer on the band. I don't anticipate any post tomorrow.
