Gina Harris's Blog, page 20

The Immigrant Experience: APAHM 2024

As mentioned in the overview, there is blurring of the categories; that is especially true with immigration. 

From movies, YA and graphic novels, Picture Bride, Front Desk, Children of the River, Family Style, and The Best We Could Do contain details of coming over, while many others at least reference aspects that relate to being here after that move.

For example, in the To All the Boys movies, Laura Jean and her sisters have all been born in the United States. Their Korean-American mother is dead, but they still participate in traditional celebrations and they visit Korea in the final movie.

It makes sense that immigration comes up. It does seem like it was a little more this year, but that may just be due to the extended time period. There was also a lot of variety.

Here are the books intended for an adult audience that dealt with immigration. While all are to the Americas, that does not necessarily mean the United States.

Coolie Woman: The Odyssey of Indenture by Gaiutra Bahadur

Bahadur's great-grandmother went from India to Guiana as an indentured servant. This is a story about one family, but also the other women who came alone, and the experiences they had.

Unfortunately there are many questions that Bahadur raises but cannot answer. Sometimes starting that research can lead to other people getting farther, so it is worth the effort, but there are some frustrations because of that.

The Concubine's Children by Denise Chong

This one was a little more satisfying, though you do get a real idea of the difficulty of immigration and family separation. 

In this case, Chong's grandfather came from China to Canada, leaving his first wife there to tend the home, and taking a concubine to help as he earned money. On one trip back to China he took his two elder daughters, and they remained in China with their half-brother. The third daughter born after remained in Canada. There was a separation between those children that lasted for decades, along with additional issues with their mother's disappointment in them all being girls.

Fresh Off the Boat: A Memoir by Eddie Huang

This one almost went into the complicated parental relationships category. It is pretty entertaining, but there is a lot of anger and things to be disturbed about. I suspect that was less of a factor in the sitcom.

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong

Night Sky With Exit Wounds by Ocean Vuong 

Night Sky is poetry and On Earth is very poetic prose, and they are both powerful and very painful. 

I preferred the poems, as sometimes the fiction in On Earth feels too depressingly real.

The thing that might make sense to write about as well are the differences in being a refuge from other types of immigration, which can be very hard. Vuong seems to locate so much misery, often locally grown, that it's like it all flows together.

He declares himself a monster, along with his mother, but they are really only human. 

Things that worked

Finally, right? I know.

When I was laid off in 2016, it was because my work was being outsourced to India (even though they said they were only going to send overflow there, and that we were safe).

Because of that, I was eligible for training through the Trade Act. I could go back to school. Unfortunately, that was just at the point in our mother's dementia where she was still better off staying in the home but could not be left alone.

That had come up through regular job hunting, as leaving for job interviews required getting other people to stay with Mom. I had thought that if I could find another telecommuting job maybe I could make it work, but it was clear that was going to be unworkable by the time I was contacted about the Trade Act.

Getting my school paid for felt like it should be a dream come true, but it would have required spending hours away at a time. I couldn't do it.

One of the most comforting things about Mom's disease is that we have consistently done the right thing for her, and we have known what to do as that has changed. It takes frequent adjustments and we are trying to figure out a new situation now, but overall, I can live with myself on that count. That's really important. 

It was still a little disappointing then. 

Among the options I had down to investigate after quitting, one of them was whether I still had any Trade Act eligibility. 

That was more important in light of my results in checking out one of the things I had looked into: school.

That thing where I kind of want to know and understand everything (while acknowledging its impossibility) has been around for a while, but it had shifted in the past few years. 

As I found that knowing some things helped me understand other things better, and discovered interesting connections between different areas, I started thinking about how to facilitate knowledge. 

It wasn't just about academics, but also the world around us. There is science in personal hygiene and cooking and cleaning. Things that people used to learn at home weren't necessarily being taught there anymore. Or learning things about other countries can teach a lot about democracy and what is bad for it and what is good for it, but often we only learn out own history and government. Then if you focus on standardized testing, there may be a limit to how much students engage with that.

A lot of current reading problems kind of make kids hate reading.

So I would keep making mental notes on things and ruminating on that. In my mind it was becoming an interest in curriculum design. I didn't really have any concrete plans for it yet, figuring that would be easier to pursue when I was further along in my quest for more (but not really "all") knowledge. 

Then a friend mentioned that Western Governors has a program for that.

It was just one of the ideas that I had down to investigate, but I did go through the application process and someone actually called me while I was filling it out.

Sure, that seems a little aggressive, but then it ended up being very supportive. 

I was admitted and Trade Act came through and is paying my tuition. I will complete my Masters in Education and Instructional Design in early 2026.

That feels pretty cool.

It doesn't solve everything, because I still need to figure out living expenses during that time period, but it is the one thing that really feels like progress.

The other thing that works out is that I have health care through the Oregon Health Plan.

Now, I could not get it started online and needed to call, but nonetheless it worked. That is really important.

There are many issues with health care that I have alluded to in reference to my job, and that may be its own post, but I'll tell you one thing that helps is that OHP actually wants people to have health care. They know it ultimately costs more to withhold it, while causing irreparable harm.

There might be things we can learn from that. 

Children's books for APAHM 2024

As with the graphic novels, the extended time period led to a lot of books with no evident theme. I have broken these down into categories that mostly make sense.

For the upcoming (September 17th) Mid-Autumn Festival:

Mooncakes by Loretta Seto and Renné Benoit 

The Moon Lady by Amy Tan and Gretchen Shields

These were both fine. I didn't want to read them again and again or anything. However, both give different looks at the festival, both in different eras and locations but also in terms of size. In this case, we are only a month away, so it is something to think about. 

I would say for appreciating the festival, I got more out of the Mooncakes graphic novel by Suzanne Walker, but that's a different age group and focus.

Prominent figures:

Brush of the Gods by Lenore Look and Meilo So 

Shapes, Lines, and Light: My Grandfather's American Journey by Katie Yamasaki

The Bridges Yuri Built: How Yuri Kochiyama Marched Across Movements by Kai Naima Williams and Anastasia M. Williams

The best of these was probably Brush of the Gods.

There is a lot more to learn about Yuri Kochiyama, but the nice thing about this book is that it can provide an early introduction.

This is perhaps a minor quibble for Shapes, Lines, and Light, but the art needed to be a little stronger and it would have really helped. That being said, it could make a good companion to Curve & Flow, about Black architect Paul R. Williams. Both Williams and Yamasaki persevered and excelled, and how many children's books about architects are there?

Stories of World War II:

My Lost Freedom: A Japanese American World War II Story by George Takei and Michelle Lee

Yukie's Island: My Family's World War II Story by Yukie Kimura, Kodo Kimura, and Steve Sheinkin

Write to Me: Letters from Japanese American Children to the Librarian They Left Behind by Cynthia Grady and Amika Hirao

So Far From the Sea by Eve Bunting and Chris K. Soentpiet

Yukie's Island is actually set in Japan, so that's an interesting perspective. 

Write to Me was my favorite. It features kindness and reminds us that there can be many ways to help if we will care.

With My Lost Freedom, again, the graphic novel is better, but it's got a different target.

Older stories:

The Fire Keeper's Son by Linda Sue Park and Julie Downing

The Runaway Dosa by Suma Subramaniam and Parvati Pillai

These are completely different, giving a look at the military alert system in imperial China in one and many characters from the lore of India in the other.

In case it is not obvious, The Runaway Dosa is very much like The Gingerbread Man. I have also seen a version with tortillas, but generally these stories will give you rhymes and motivation to try different foods.

Stories to help:

Eyes that Kiss in the Corners by Joanna Ho and Dung Ho

The Phone Booth in Mr. Hirota's Garden by Heather Smith and Rachel Wada

Eyes that Kiss is a very gentle look at differences. It doesn't start with teasing or anything; just a noticing of a difference, treated poetically and with love.

The Phone Booth is a grief book; like most of them, it hurts. They are also sometimes very necessary.

Like some other stories, a physical item helps with the emotional pain.

Even worse

This next experience was the least personal, but also the most discouraging.

Back in June, I saw a flier about a Free Food Market:

https://www.hillsboro-oregon.gov/Home/Components/News/News/14606/4300 

I thought it was a great thing, especially in not requesting ID or means testing. 

Do a search at https://foodfinder.oregonfoodbank.org/ and you will find many places that have severely limited hours or require appointments or that specify limited selection. I don't want to knock anyone's efforts, but the closer you are to the edge, the fewer obstacles you can navigate.

This seemed like a good addition (especially being so close to the train) but not one that applied to me.

I got a strong sense that I needed to check it out.

I didn't want to. We were fine for food; this should be for people that had an actual need.

My not wanting to go was increased by a lively discussion we'd recently had about needs and resources.

Someone who complains a lot complained about rising grocery costs to someone solution-oriented, so was offered a grocery order filled by our church. They wondered if we would want part of it, though they phrased it in such a convoluted matter that it was not immediately clear what was being asked. No! What is wrong with you?

That made the thought of visiting any food bank feel even more wrong, but the thought wouldn't go away.

I hemmed and hawed about it until it was actually too late to go to the June date. The feeling did not go away, and now I needed to wait a month.

Fine, I was committed to going to the July one. It ended up being a very hot day. Did I really need to see it so much I needed to ride Tri-met in that weather? There was at least a solution for that, in that Julie agreed to drive me. 

As we were leaving, Maria called on her lunch break. I referred back to my attempts to explore...

"How the system screws you?"

"Well, this is supposed to be about how it helps you," I replied, but not as confidently as one would hope.

I was still worrying about taking something someone else needed, but how in some ways just going and looking could be even worse and make people feel scrutinized. In truth, I did not need to worry.

On the way I kept looking at people waiting for buses and walking in the heat. The high was forecast for 103 degrees. It wasn't there yet, but it was on the way.

Missing the June date gave me much worse weather. The other thing I did wrong was I had not written down the address. I was fairly familiar with those offices from some training I had taken. Of course, there is more than one office, but I had not worried about it too much. Two mistakes, perhaps, but I think I got a fuller picture.

It made sense to me that it would be the entry that handled food stamps. There were two workers, but one was doing something on her computer and said I could go to the other window or wait. At the other window, a woman was trying to help a non-native English speaker, and it was going to take a while.

I looked for signage, or people coming and going with bags, but didn't see anything. 

Finally, the woman who was not on the computer was done. I asked her where the Free Food Market was.

"Oh. Is that today?"

Well, it was the second Tuesday...

That was in another building in the next parking lot, but she did point the right direction.

Let me just say, if this is where people needing food assistance go, that could be helpful information to have on signs and to have the staff up-to-date on details.

Let me also say that it was not the next parking lot, but two over. However, the actual "next" parking lot was clearly under construction, so that was not a big deal.

Let us also remember that the market runs from 1:30 to 3:30. When I got back to the car the second time, it was 1:59. That part did not take very long, because before I reached the doorway someone leaving told me that they were out of food. They only had diapers and some other non-food item that I didn't quite hear.

As we were pulling in, I did see one couple walking away with one bag; that might have been the last of the food.

Perhaps I should have gone inside anyway, but I felt like I had seen what I needed to see.

We were fortunate. I was returning to an air-conditioned car where we could quickly drive to our air-conditioned home, that did have plenty of food, even though I am unemployed. I imagined someone busing there in the high heat, and enduring because they did have empty cupboards, and then finding nothing. 

I know that we need to do better.

But also, for the people who believe that there are all these programs that put lazy people on easy street, and that there are programs to help everyone except white men... all of the racist, sexist, hateful lies that get told are just that: Lies.

You know the main factor that makes things easy? Money. A system that keeps consolidating wealth will continue spreading misery. A scattering of people with good intentions is insufficient for that. 

Graphic novels for APAHM 2024

Remember, the reading for this round mostly goes back to 2021. Over that time period, I came across a lot of graphic novels. I liked most of them. Well, I guess it was really just the one that I didn't.

Golden Kamuy by Satoru Noda

I read this one because of a reference to an Ainu character, Asirpa. I don't generally hear much about indigenous Japanese, so that seemed worth checking out.

While it would be easy to root for Asirpa herself, really the series is about blood, revenge, and tattoos leading to treasure, which is just the motivation that some people need to kill and skin other people. There is a gory ruthlessness that I can't enjoy. I may read more about Ainu people, but I won't be this way.

Shadow of the Batgirl, by Sarah Kuhn and Nicole Goux, is very much a good but normal offering in terms of the Bat-family. That's not an insult. As it was, I think I read it because Cassandra Cain was featured in the Birds of Prey movie, and it is how I found I Love You So Mochi, so that was a good service to me. However, one's feelings about superhero comics will probably have a bigger impact on desire to read this than anything I can say. This includes feelings about DC versus Marvel and specific feelings about the Bat-family.

Hungry Ghost by Victoria Yang led me to even more books when I was searching for it at the library, which led to some Halloween-themed reading. That's because "hungry ghost" is a thing, but it is not what this book is about.

Instead, it was an uncomfortable but ultimately affirming story about a girl struggling with an eating disorder, largely due to her mother's obsession. The grace she is able to find for her mother surprised me, but may have been part of what made it feel so hopeful.

For other books geared toward teenagers, Mooncakes by Suzanne Walker, Wendy Xu, and Joamette Gil gives you the magical and possibly sweeter, but Himawari House by Harmony Becker is a bit more bittersweet and realistic, as various transplanted students try and find their way.

It's okay; it's not like you have to choose.

Speaking of difficult realism, Talk To My Back by Yamada Murasaki kind of takes the issues of The Feminine Mystique to '80s Tokyo. There are no easy solutions for Chiharu, but I remember one of the points that stuck with me -- and nothing has changed my mind -- is that the deference and coddling that goes to men does not make them happier or better.

The Only Child by Guojing has its own magic, but it is based in a harsh reality, that the one child policy and the Chinese economy left a lot of lonely children. It is still a beautiful, practically wordless book. In that way it reminds me of The Arrival, but is its own, beautiful, thing.

I had mentioned earlier that across the categories of types of books, there were many about the immigrant experience.

Papaya Salad by Elisa Macellari may be the least obviously so. The granddaughter could easily be simply Italian, as that is where she and her parents live. Her grandfather even spent time in Europe, but family visits keep the connection across countries.

Much of the narration is built around meals, for both the sharing and the preparation. That is also a pattern in Family Style by Thien Pham.

Here the food is strongly associated with memories of escaping Vietnam, running a cooking stand in the refugee camp, and with American milestones, including briefly running a bakery. 

One of the story points is Pham having wavered on getting citizenship until feeling the need to vote during the rise of Trump. It is good to remember that what is horrifying when it is not targeted at you is worse when you are the target. 

That was also very present in Messy Roots: A Graphic Memoir of a Wuhanese American by Laura Gao. In this case, much of the animosity is driven by COVID, and feels worse because of Gao's connection to Wuhan. 

There is also a thread of that in The American Dream? A Journey on Route 66 by Shing Yin Kor, relating to feelings of safety on the road. There is enough to worry about on a long road trip without having to worry about xenophobia.   

The Best We Could Do by Thi Bui is the one that takes the hardest look at intergenerational trauma, and that is not something that is unique to Vietnamese refugees. This one might be helpful for people from various types of families.

The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen gets us back to magic, again, and tells us it is doing so. 

Some stories that may sound very familiar, but a little different, get updated with very thoughtful imagery. That art is very interesting and beautiful, but ultimately the biggest, most helpful magic, is love and friendship.

We end with Dragon Hoops by Gene Luen Yang (who also made a cameo in Family Style). 

There is a story about sports and a story about choosing change, but one of the most touching things for me was a brief story of kindness shown to an ailing and disgraced coach, except because of how things were handled it was never investigated whether he actually deserved the disgrace, so people just assumed they should shun him. A legal resolution might have cemented that, but it might also have exonerated him.

It just reminded me of how much I believe in the importance of investigation.

It was minor, but sometimes small things are very important.

These things really should work better

The things I wrote about last week were interesting for me, but not vital. There might be possible improvements to the systems, but they affect a fairly small amount of people.

I did not expect any success in these next two areas, but they are considerably more important. 

My reasoning for trying anyway was that I wanted to know how things worked; understanding the system better would allow me to be more helpful to others.

A lot of it was very discouraging.

For example, I did not entertain any hopes that applying for disability would ultimately be useful for me. I didn't think it would be enough money anyway, but also I have heard that everyone gets turned down automatically the first time. Success requires multiple tries and the help of a lawyer. I had no intention of applying a second time, but let's see what the initial process is like.

I applied on March 4th. 

The disability listed was diabetes, which of course does not completely preclude me from working, but it does make some jobs inappropriate. Whether it is aging or other factors, I can no longer maintain health as a call center agent. That's what I was indicating -- that I could look at training for some other job or something -- but I can't currently support myself in my former manner.

The online application on March 4th led to a phone call on April 29th. Knowing that most people who end up being granted disability have legal representation, maybe that is why most of the questions were confirming I filled out the form myself, and no one helped me, and if I had talked to a lawyer. Nope.

I mean, the call purported to be about things that were not clear from my application, but it seemed really lawyer-centric. 

I get it; when I was looking for the application a quick search brought up more sites helping you tell if you have a chance and helping you with that chance. It would be easy to accidentally submit the information to a lawyer instead of to Social Security. 

Once we settled that, she submitted my case. Determination takes about nine months, but I should call if I started working. 

If that had been the end of the process, I would have considered it a good turnaround time, even with a denial. It took almost two months for the process to even get started. I know that there can be a large back payment at the end of the process, but then how much goes to the lawyer?

For someone in need, the delays and the need for legal help must be really impractical. I am sure it does some good, but it seems severely lacking.

I also did not expect to get unemployment. After all, I quit. I've had some pretty terrible bosses and have been driven out of jobs, but if they do not intend for you to get unemployment, my experience is that you will not get it.

Going through the process, it did say you could be eligible for unemployment if you were in circumstances where a reasonable person would quit. Well, I thought so, but I was still sure it would be denied.

If only it were that simple.

I got an approval, with how much I would be getting weekly and how long it could last. Great! This will take a lot of the stress out of my job search! 

I did need to go through a few steps, one of which included going down to the WorkSource office. This is where I was told that my claim was actually in adjudication. I had a good chance of being approved, but it wasn't official. I did need to keep reporting my job searches for the 8-12 weeks adjudication would take, though, because I couldn't fill out the backlog later.

One of the things they do at WorkSource is talk about your job searches. She asked me if I was looking for call center work. I replied "I will kill myself" so quickly and without thought it was a little scary. I mean, I would like to think that I wouldn't kill myself, but my solution to not doing so was quitting. If you take away that option, then what?

Anyway, while that was not premeditated, that may be why she said I had a good chance of being approved. Apparently, the law does not technically require you to stay in a job that makes death look like your best option.

As comforting as that is, I was denied. It was not that I did not have cause to quit, but that I had not explored my options sufficiently before quitting. I had not checked within the company for other jobs, and I had not applied for 

Truly, I did not think of either of these. 

For applying internally, one of the weird things about Moda is that it is much harder to search for jobs internally than externally. At least, that has been my experience. (I had tried looking multiple times, and always given up in frustration.)

Part of that may be that your current manager has to approve the transfer. Given how overworked everyone was, I am not sure if I could have made that work, but not trying counted against me.

For the temporary paid leave, that is kind of newer. I know someone who knows someone who used it, but it just wasn't on my radar.

https://paidleave.oregon.gov/employers-overview/#howemployersizeworks

Again, I don't really object to being turned down for unemployment. That was my expectation.

I do object to getting an approval message that did not explain that it was provisional. I got two mentions of the adjudication: once at WorkSource and once when I got the final denial. That was extremely unhelpful. I object to getting jerked around.

I was also not thrilled with the reasoning behind it. Navigating the system successfully is much harder than it should be. If the idea is to prevent scammers, complications like that are going to impede the overtired and downtrodden far more. I assure you they have less ability to do the research and fill out additional forms and then make the corrections for obscure rules.

(My experience there is more from a few years ago with caring for my mother, but there are definite similarities.)

Disability and unemployment didn't need to work for me, but they should still work.

APAHM 2024 for Young Adults and Middle Grades

At times I have been very annoyed by YA books.

I have tended to do better with Middle Grade books, even though YA is technically closer to my demographic, middle-aged crank.

My usual frustration with YA is that so much of the angst comes from not recognizing the obvious, perfect solution. Hello? It's right there!

One thing that helped was I Love You So Mochi by Sarah Kuhn.

The funny thing was, when I checked it out I thought it was going to be a graphic novel. Kuhn had also worked on Shadow of the Batgirl (graphic novels should be the next post), and I thought it was worth a shot.

Kimi does miss the obvious solution to her issues for quite a while (though I realize parental pressure plays a role), but I didn't notice as much as I could have because I kept being enthralled with Kyoto, and wanting to go there. 

Ultimately, I may be a little removed from the difficulty of growing up, but I vaguely remember that it exists.

It is perhaps only while reading in the YA category that one would find two separate books about a teenager forming a contractual relationship with a young movie star.

This Time It's Real by Ann Liang

A Show For Two by Tashie Bhuiyan

Bhuiyan handles it better. That may be that she is a better writer, but she also creates a more complex, interesting situation. Mina is not pretending to be Emmitt's girlfriend, but instead helping him with a contest. It still works for them spending enough time together to fall in love. In addition, she has a mood disorder that sometimes complicates even her friend and family relationships. 

Also, her parents are terrible. 

As much as I prefer it when children and their parents gain a new appreciation of each other and come to understand each other better, sometimes it isn't possible. Those kids need to have books for them too.

Here is where there is some movie overlap: while the To All the Boys movies are based on a book series, I have not read the books, but I did watch the two sequels. 

The first movie, To All the Boys I've Loved Before (2018), started with a contractual relationship. I don't remember anyone doing that when I was in school; kids these days?

I did actually write about it:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2021/06/ruined-for-rom-coms-apahm-2021.html 

My issue was seeing how these commitment issues and inability to move forward are related to grief and trauma. It was emotionally painful for me. Aren't rom-coms supposed to be fun. 

I wondered if I would be able to enjoy movies at all.

However, I did end up viewing the other two, as mentioned in last week's post:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2024/07/movies-for-apahm-2024.html  

They worked a lot better. The relationship between Laura Jean and Peter was really good for both of them. Continued growth over the next two films and their support for each other was sweet. Maybe I am less cynical.

That is not a commitment to read the books or to watch the movie about Kitty (Laura Jean's younger sister, with a very different personality). I haven't ruled it out either.

Speaking of series, I did at last minute read of another installment in the Front Desk series: 

Front Desk by Kelly Yang

Three Keys: A Front Desk Novel by Kelly Yang

I read the first one because it came up in an article about banned books:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2022/07/reading-banned-books.html 

I remember knowing at the time that there was more to tell, and thinking it good make a good series. 

At this point it turns out that there are a total of five books and Yang appears to have started another series. 

There is a realistic optimism about her books. Real challenges come up, but the characters persevere, and find what they can do. I may return.

There are another three books that relate.

Children of the River by Linda Crew

This is the oldest of the books, by a long shot. Published in 1989, it's the story of Sundara, who was with her aunt's family when they had to flee the Khmer Rouge, leaving her with questions about her parents and siblings, and adjusting to a new life in Oregon. 

It reminds me a lot of Chanrithy Him's When Broken Glass Floats, even though that one spends a lot more time in the camps, and of course that is more memoir. Children of the River is fiction, but there is a lot that feels real.

The next two books both switch between the viewpoints of multiple characters.

We Are Not Free by Traci Chee

Bat 6 by Virginia Euwer Wolf

We Are Not Free follows a group of teenagers from San Francisco into internment, and in some cases out of the camps as they enlist or as the war ends.

Bat 6 takes place after the war, and includes one family returned from internment. None of the other characters are Japanese-American, but the war and the changes during and after have affected more of them. It's okay, but could have been better. 

We Are Not Free was really good.

There are a lot of experiences in the world, and we need many stories. I know not all will be for me, especially as a grumpy old person.

Sometimes, I can enjoy spending time with the young.

Things I didn't really think would work

To get caught up on where I am now, I should go back to where I was in February, when I quit my job.

I was miserable, but I had this whole list of things that I had been meaning to look into, where maybe there was a way out. I just never had time to get to them. 

Suddenly, I did.

Part of what allowed me to feel okay about quitting was that I would have my saved vacation pay, my tax refund, and my cashed out 401K. That buffer allowed me to look into some long shots.

For example, I did not think it was likely that I would get a MacArthur Foundation grant, but such a thing could really free me up to accomplish some good.

The process is impenetrable.

The identities of the people who can nominate are hidden. There is no formal application process where you could submit. The right person has to be aware of you, and you have no idea whom the right person is.

https://www.macfound.org/programs/awards/fellows/faq 

We limit our consideration only to individuals who have been nominated by someone from our constantly changing pool of invited external nominators. Applications or unsolicited nominations are not accepted, and any materials sent with unsolicited nominations will not be returned.

Connections are important in a lot of different areas, and they tend to be something I don't have. This was not going to happen. 

I was still glad I looked into it, because it made some other references make sense.

Most of the unrealistic things I looked into were jobs that I was not likely to get. 

Even though I have done other things, the only thing I got called back on was call center work. That was a last resort, but what would be some first resorts?

The most unrealistic of these was advice columnist. I believed that was something that I could both enjoy and do well, but how does one get into that line of work?

The best way would be to go back in time to when I was in school, and write advice columns for the school paper (this includes college, but high school wouldn't hurt). It's not the only way, because if you get some kind of fame somewhere else, or connections in newspaper work, it can still happen, but that one also seemed out of reach.

On the plus side, I read a sampling of current advice columns and the answers mostly seemed to be pretty reasonable and compassionate. It's not a tragedy that I am not doing that. 

Now, "data entry" was not a dream job, but something that I thought I could do and there are some great sounding ads. 

Don't believe the hype. They are mainly call center jobs; that is how you get the data to enter. There are also some where you can fill out marketing surveys for pay, but the "can earn up to" in those ads is doing some pretty heavy lifting, not to mention the amount of junk and frustration that will come with those surveys.

I didn't worry too much about these dead ends; I had more realistic things to try. However, there were to other things that required a little more effort and led to significantly more frustration, and they will get their own post.

Movies for APAHM 2024

Continuing with the theme of categories running together and boundaries being crossed, one potential issue with these lists is that they include material that is not specifically American. 

For example, Minari is about Korean immigrants. A Taxi Driver is set in Korea, though contact with the outside world is a key component. In writing about the heritage of Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders, does it count if it is about the heritage that they had before their coming to the United States?

That's not to say that there is not value in reading about other countries and watching films from them. However, in deciding that the various heritage months have value, I frequently think about whether I am making good use of them.

Because when we are looking at the Pacific Islanders, it wasn't really that they came to America, was it? It's more like we forcefully came to them. Then it becomes more of an indigenous issue, reminding me of the overlap between Native American Heritage and Hispanic Heritage.

For now, I am still catching up on things that have been on my reading and watch lists for years, so I am just going with it. Maybe after that I will have a more sophisticated general analysis. Maybe I will do specific breakdowns, like books about Chinese American immigrants and the building of the railways and in the aftermath of the Cultural Revolution, but also with books about China for that.

For extra fun, at least two of the movies I still haven't watched are about Asian immigrants in England. 

It will take me at least one other round to get through the current list, and I expect it will be a good experience regardless. Reviewing this last round, I am getting all emotional about how some of these movies made me feel.

Movies set in other countries:

The King of Masks (1996, China)

In a film where gender is clearly so important, I am kind of amazed at how the reviews I read for this ignored Master Liang. That seems like a real oversight, especially when so much of the crux of this is Wang accepting Doggie as someone he can pass his art down to, even though he was sure he could not and would not because she was a girl.

Shall We Dansu (1996, Japan) 

For July I am doing daily dances (there will be a post about that) and I just posted the final number from this movie -- which I adore -- Sunday. It has such a good heart. I love dance, yes, but I also love films and media that find affection for people, as flawed as we are. This movie excels.

Shaolin Soccer (2001, Hong Kong)

If sometimes you watch a kung fu movie and you like the action but then some of the wire work and effects make it kind of ridiculous, well, move that into soccer, and you have this film. Strictly for fun.

A Simple Life (2011, Hong Kong)

It's such a quiet movie that it is kind of hard to explain what happens. A servant to a well-to-do family has a stroke. They have cared about her, but as one of the sons cares for her, the dynamics change and it is touching.

He Named Me Malala (2015, Pakistan and England)

Sometimes I am not sure if I should count Middle East with Far East, but I did watch this documentary. While I was familiar with the general story, this did a good job of explaining more, and going over the danger.

A Taxi Driver (2017, Korea)

This one made a strong impression on me, because I had no idea that South Korea had that kind of oppression and suppression; that's supposed to be on the North Korean side. With some of the policy issues now, it makes more sense. 

I remember thinking at the time how you simply cannot take democracy for granted. While that was not unclear before, there have been numerous examples since. 

One emotional part of the movie was that the real journalist expressed his sadness at not being able to find the driver. The film showed an imagined ending that was relatively happy, but I was afraid that it meant he was caught and killed after the reporter left. 

No, but he was traumatized, and that probably did shorten his life. Better than one might hope, but still with some sadness.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Taxi_Driver

Very much about the immigrant experience:

Picture Bride (1995)

Brides finding that their husbands to be were much older than expected was a familiar story, but this does a good job of humanizing everyone and providing an outcome that feels good, even with a lot of pain along the way.

Minari (2020)

A Best Picture nominee, I felt this alternated a lot between slow and weird. Ultimately the need to save each other does prevail, and then other things fall into place.

Documentaries:

Iron Fists and Kung Fu Kicks (2019) 

There were a lot of things here that I had never thought of, like an interplay between martial arts and break dancing, and then cross influences. As they went over the history and showed the footage it made sense, but they are connections I would not have made on my own.

Taky Kimura: The Heart of the Dragon (2020)

Between this and the previous title, I feel like I know a lot more about Bruce Lee than I had. His name carries a lot of weight, but it does not necessarily come with a lot of details. It becomes easier to feel the loss.

Waterman (2021)

A good look at Duke Kahanamoku and his legacy, which goes far beyond Hawaii. 

No easy categorization:

Stuber (2019)

Really very much an "American" film, but Dave Bautista has Filipino (and Greek) ancestry, and Kumail Nanjiani was born in Pakistan. 

There were times when I felt they overshot "funny", exactly the way a typical comedy (that I would normally not bother seeing) did, but it had enjoyable moments and good character growth. 

As it is, for Nanjiani I preferred The Lovebirds (2020) and I really enjoy Bautista as Drax, though I have not specifically seen either of the two main Guardians movies, so that was from Avengers: Infinity War and the Christmas special. 

It's okay.

The Farewell (2019)

This one pretty much gutted me. I think it will come up more at some point when I need to write about grief. It really got me about carrying the burden for someone, and it almost feels like the most important part of any kind of martial arts is the yelling. 

Getting into difficult parent-child dynamics:

I am going to spend more time on this topic, so I am not going to write about the individual films now. I did write something already about the last one:

Bao (2018, short)

Turning Red (2022)

Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2022/09/the-everything-bagel.html 

(Hey! A reference to hating my job from two years ago! I hung in there for a while.)

Getting into YA: 

I am just mentioning these here because they are movies that I watched, but thematically they are going to make more sense somewhere else. I will get to that soon.

To All the Boys: PS I Still Love You (2020)

To All the Boys: Always and Forever (2021)

Hanging in there

Things are kind of a lot, aren't they?

I certainly have my moments of wanting to scream. I also wonder about the best use of my time, which would probably not be screaming. A week ago I wrote about things one could do, which made me want to start a project, but what and how?

One of the things I think about is just having the blog go full election headquarters and try and help that way, but would it really do that much? I don't have a huge audience, and I suspect most readers already agree with the points I could make.

There are a lot of questions.

I am pretty sure of the following things, for now:

I will keep writing about my reading on Fridays and posting about travel on Saturdays.I will keep posting daily songs and wishing people happy birthdays (unless they are set up so I can't write on their wall). 

It would be easy for some of those things to seem trivial; does it even really matter? However, my reading choices, and appreciating travel and music and people... it is important to still have joy and laughter and appreciation. I will keep up with that.

For other social media use, I am using it less.

In the past when I would log on at the beginning of the day, I would leave Twitter and Facebook open. There is a lot more aggravation on there now. I will log on in the morning, and that is how I will continue to post birthday wishes and songs and blog posts, but then I will exit. Most likely I will get on about three times a day, check for updates, and log back off.

Because people are important, in addition to scanning what other people are up to when I am on, I am also going to go through my friends, looking up a few names per day to see how they are doing. 

Being on less, I may not see what you post, but I should eventually be caught up with everyone. If sometimes that leads to exchanging messages and getting together, great. If sometimes I see someone says something appalling and I communicate about that, it won't be the first time. Will there be some soft deletions? Maybe. Sometimes people show a really nasty side. 

I mention that because it can be really easy to keep scrolling through the doom and get overcome with anger or despair. It may be better for your mental health to limit your exposure. However, then you can lose connection that matters or miss information that would help. That is not just me.

Think about what good and bad you are getting, and be intentional about that. Remember, Facebook and Twitter both have mute options (a 30 day mute on Facebook), and settings where you can keep other people from posting or replying, and blocks. If someone you love is stressing you out, that can be hard, but even if you end up deciding to deal with the stress, you will feel better for having consciously made that decision.

To make sure I can keep up with everyone, I made a spreadsheet, and I have spent time writing in my journal about what my goals are, and how to keep up. The majority of my decisions and goals do seem to involve journal writing and spreadsheets, so that is the path that makes sense for me. There is something that will work for you.

I will probably try posting more interesting articles too, in the hopes that it does something helpful for others on there. 

(I will say, Twitter keeps getting worse, where I may give in and start calling it "X" just to draw a distinction. Facebook changes are more subtle, but they are there.)

For other real world interactions, I have not started a project, but I did help for a couple of hours at Portland Pride this weekend.

I used to really enjoy volunteering at things. At some point after I was caring for my mother full-time, it felt like I couldn't anymore. It didn't feel like I had the physical or the mental energy. Even though that responsibility has eased, my old levels of energy haven't come back. 

However, a friend said I could help with her booth, at the level I wanted to for the amount of time that I wanted. That lack of pressure really helped. 

So, I was able to do two hours, without feeling guilt. None of the other volunteer shifts I did were ever that short. I may get back to some of the others eventually, but this was a soft re-entry made possible by someone kind.

We can help each other.

I am aware that in my blogging update, I did not mention two of the days.

For Sundays, there is still a lot to be said about dominator culture. I believe I am going to keep saying it for a while.

I only know about Tuesday posts for the next few weeks.

When I quit my job, I mentioned how there were all these things that I wanted to check into but I had never had time. I am going to take a few posts to report on that.

Related posts:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2013/05/volunteering-as-crutch-for-socially.html

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2024/02/the-next-thing.html