Gina Harris's Blog, page 118

Band Review: Jeff Barbare

On first listening to Jeff Barbare, he sounds a little strange.
Based in Quebec, Barbare often sings in French. It is possible that - rather than him actually being strange - I could just be reacting to the different language, but I suspect it's a little of both. Barbare's style often sounds experimental and improvisational; "Dinosaur's Goulash" sounds especially unformed.
Despite that, there is often something inviting in the music, usually due to the funky bass lines and sometimes to the enthusiasm of the delivery. Based on those criteria, my favorites were "Jackie the Cat" and "Au Local".
I can't think of any specific bands where liking them would be a good indicator that you would be interested in Jeff Barbare, but if funky and weird sounds at all intriguing, you should check out Jeff the Barbarian.
https://www.facebook.com/barbarejeff
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWlYd0e0Rl4-XF0TB_T7YwA
https://jeffbarbare.bandcamp.com/album/la-d-composition-compl-te
https://twitter.com/JeffBarbare

Comics Catch Up: Sometimes they hurt you

One of the titles that I pulled from the spreadsheet was Jellaby by Kean Soo. Jellaby himself was very cute, and there were aspects to the art that reminded me of Bill Watterson, so I checked out the second book as well.
That one had me crying helplessly and emotionally on edge, where the tears kept coming back at odd moments. It slew me.
I am going to recount what did it, and thus there are major spoilers following for Jellaby: Monster in the City (Jellaby #2).
First off, Jellaby is a lost monster found by Portia, a young girl recently transplanted outside Toronto with her mother. Her father is absent, though she does not seem to know why or where. Through Jellaby she befriends another student, Jason. In an effort to locate a way home for Jellaby, they head to the city on Halloween. The first book ends with them on the way.
Once in Toronto, at the Exhibition, a masked magician leads Jason and Jellaby (Portia has been distracted by a false image of her father) to another lost monster, Xolotl. Xolotl's story is much worse.
A flashback shows a crying baby Xolotl lying in the snow. A boy comes along and picks her up, and she clings to him. They spend time together, focused around a lake (perhaps Lake Ontario), but as he gets older he takes off with a girl and doesn't look back, as a devastated Xolotl watches.
While a talking bird is explaining to Portia about Xolotl's abandonment and temper, there are more images of a larger but still not fully grown Xolotl hearing a boy crying, coming with open arms, and then looking angry when the boy is scared. Does the dropped truck mean he ran away, or is he the skull we see in the passageway?
The Xolotl that Jason and Jellaby meet with is much larger, and still looking for a new companion. Initially kind, the undercurrent of menace quickly becomes grave danger. Portia comes to rescue her friends, and they get out, but there is a lot of destruction along the way. The last we see of Xolotl is the chamber collapsing around her while the masked magician (who has encouraged the others to flee) holds her.
That probably sounds sad, but it's much worse with pictures.
It left me a wreck, and not understanding why I was such a wreck. I suppose a main problem was over-empathizing with the villain, but it hurt so much. Xolotl was a lost monster too, and she had been hurt, and she also had someone who loved her, so why was she still looking for someone else? Why did her pain have to turn into anger and harm?
There are some things that I can guess increased the impact. The way baby Xolotl clung to the first boy reminded me of our kitten. I imagine Lilly Belle's heart-rending mews might be how the baby monster's cries sounded.
Of course, it's been a while, but that's how Ashley's cries sounded too. Three of our cats were found on the street, and even the fourth had previous owners, though they gave her to a shelter. I have a soft spot for animals anyway, and I know they feel abandonment. They can heal from it, to an extent, but it's not a given. We have had cats and dogs who never completely got over being given up. Maybe some of them just needed more time, but there was a love and loyalty that was deeply injured. We have taken in a lot of rescues, and I am sensitive to that.
My reaction still felt disproportionate, like I had scratched open a deep well of pain that I hadn't known was there.
I do know the pain of loneliness. I thought I had been doing better, but perhaps I was fooling myself. If that were the case, I would hope there would be something more concrete: you still have this, or need to do this.
I have had some other thoughts, and I don't know if any of them are right or if it is all of the above.
This is a hard time in my life. For newcomers, I am dealing with unemployment and my mother's dementia, and they pull me in two different directions. Maybe it's easier to devastate me now than it would be at other times; I am using up a lot of my inner resources for outer things.
This is a hard time in the world. My blogging about comics in no way indicates that I am not aware of or concerned about current events. There are things I intend to write, and I was trying to get to, but it didn't feel right yet. I needed to take some time to write about comics and television (next week).
I guess it's catharsis, and maybe that's why I need to spend some time writing about entertainment. Art helps us understand things and relate to things. If there is something hurting inside me that I am not ready to understand, there is a good chance that art will be helpful when I am.
But some days it can mess you up.

Comics Catch Up: Dark Horse

As much as there is to go over, I want to start by exploring the numbers. My Dark Horse Digital Bookshelf had 61 titles.
That number alone doesn't that much. With some titles I had one issue, which usually had between 23 and 26 pages. Some issues had more pages (Dark Horse Presents #1 had 71), but also some had more books. I purchased 12 issues of Orchid for a class. The Hellboy bundle I bought had 77 issues of varying lengths.
There could also be some confusion over titles for different runs. There were separate Conan titles (King Conan, Conan, and Conan the Barbarian), four different Star Wars comics, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel and Faith are stored as different titles, though one is Season 8 and one is Season 9, which does seem kind of connected.
Based on that, "61 titles" doesn't explain much about quantity, but I think it can be useful to point out that there were 14 titles I definitely want to read, 13 I possibly want to read, and 24 unlikely.
(For the 10 "Others", that includes thee series and a standalone book that I loved, two that I liked pretty well, one I did not care for as much, and three compilations.)
Obviously your level of satisfaction may vary, depending on where you are looking, but those are pretty good odds that seem about right. Read a good variety, and maybe you will love a quarter of them, and then like another quarter.
It happens on different levels. Sometimes there is an aesthetic that is gorgeous, and you just love to look at it, but also sometimes there is a harsh look that you wouldn't really like, except that it fits the story, and the story resonates with you. I tend to not like a lot of empty fights and explosions, but sometimes they don't feel empty.
Even then... Okay, The Victories was one of my least favorite titles, because it was really ugly and that only partially means the drawing style. It was always going to go on the "Unlikely" list. And yet, there is one thing the villain says in his monologue about the hero that is kind of true, and could play out in interesting ways. I don't think I want to know enough to read it, but I can't rule out that I will. Something down the road could remind me of it, and make it a more pressing question. (Or maybe after reading everything on "Definitely" and "Possibly", I will just decide to go for it.)
It can be hard to predict. I should be the target audience for Star Wars comics, based on how the original trilogy influenced me. I did not like The Clone Wars,  or Legacy,  or Empire. I did end up reading more of Star Wars: Darth Vader, because I thought it was going somewhere interesting. The library had the trade, and I read it, and then I didn't really like it. That doesn't mean I wouldn't at least try something focused on Poe Dameron.
I have never regularly watched any of the Joss Whedon shows, but Dollhouse and Angel & Faith are Definitely, and Serenity and Buffy the Vampire Slayer are probably.
That is a reason to be open to new things, and to take advantage of giveaways. Go to the stores on Free Comic Book Day. I have bought many comics, but when Dark Horse or Comixology have some special for getting free first issues, I take that. I recommend that. There are worse things than being on their mailing lists.
If there are creators whose previous work you love, it makes sense to check out their new work. I do love Hellboy, and will definitely be reading more on The Visitor, BPRD, Baltimore, and Abe Sapien. Therefore, if Mike Mignola were to announce a new project, it would only be reasonable to check it out. That is a good reason to take note of who is writing and drawing your comics.
Otherwise, titles on the Definitely list that have not been mentioned already consist of Ghost, Number 13, Mind MGMT, Colder, Usagi Yojimbo, and Alabaster.
Also, I mentioned the Conan comics, but not really anything about them. I will Definitely read Conan the Barbarian and Possibly read Conan and I am not surprised that these interesting titles involve Becky Cloonan and Kurt Busiek, respectively.

Comics Catch Up: Update

You may recall that I have been going through and catching up on my comic book reading. I blogged about it in January, but it's more obvious if we're friends on Goodreads.
There are a lot more options for reviewing single issues now. It is still not always possible. There were a few where I had compliments to give, and there was no entry for giving them. Then the ones that I thought were terrible were there. Do my reviews may seem overly negative? Still, if I had compliments there is a good chance that I will be reading more, and there will be another chance.
There was a handful where my negative feedback was specifically about sexism, and they came pretty close together. Does that make me seem like a single-issue comic reader? I'm not, but it is something I notice, and it bugs me.
(And are people really paying that much attention to my reviews?)
For sexism specifically, two of the comics were inspired by video games. I have no doubt that some of the character and costume issues come from being true to the game, but it should still be possible to do better. Even if a central feature of the character (and her costume) is the enhanced cleavage, there are framings and vantage points that can emphasize or de-emphasize it. It gets old, is all I'm saying.
I think tomorrow I am going to delve more into what I have been reading, but focus on the broader issues today. For one thing, I have seen that I am going to need to be more organized going into the next segment.
Previously I have had three sources for choosing what to read: my Dark Horse Digital bookshelf, my Comixology library, and my spreadsheet.
Of course I have a spreadsheet. This is actually just a tab on my spreadsheet where I track almost everything. (There are a few things that have their own spreadsheets, but this one covers a lot.)
It just so happens that "Comics and Drawing" is the most chaotic tab on the Schedule spreadsheet. That is partly because it contains both comics I want to read and comics I want to draw, but also there are a lot of entries from different sources. There are URLs for web comics, and the names of studios and artists, along with titles. Sometimes there are specific issue numbers for some titles, or articles with suggestions, or clusters of titles or artists that came from one article.
Now there have been some new additions. No matter how disorganized I can be, the organization of the Dark Horse bookshelf is top notch. I would have liked it if the Hellboy comics were in strict chronological order, but at least when they reference an event they always tell you where it happened. Anyway, it was pretty easy to go through my shelf in a logical order. Building on that required something more.
I thought I would just add the titles of the books I wanted to follow up on with other titles already entered in the spreadsheet, but that felt insufficient. I have added four Dark Horse columns to the spreadsheet, based on how much I want to read more: Definitely, Possibly, Unlikely, and Other.
("Other" currently contains seven titles that I have already read completely and three titles that are samplers or compilations. I may follow up on some of the characters included in the compilations, but it's different.)
As I start going through my Comixology library, I am going to have to start tracking them that way right away, or I will never be able to keep up. I am glad to realize that before getting started.
Going back to that blog post in January (at which point I had already read many issues of Hellboy), I wanted to get really caught up before November, when I will read Native Americans in Comic Books: A Critical Study by Michael Sheyahshe, and launch myself into comics featuring Native Americans. My hope of catching ICAF in Seattle in November raises the stakes. Can it be done?
I can be caught up enough. I am caught up on Dark Horse, and I believe I can catch up on Comixology between now and November - that's almost three months for 196 comics, but many of which I have already read.
For that list on the spreadsheet, though, that's less likely. I have already been pulling from it, adding one trade to pretty much every library trip. I have read some things that I have been meaning to read for a long time, and that has been great. There are also a lot left, and I keep adding to it.
That is a great problem to have. It has been great fun catching up on different things. Even the comics that bug me don't change that I really love comics. Not matter what I end up having read or not read, I will have so much more background knowledge for the next ICAF -- and it was terrific when I attended as a relative newbie.
About four years ago I mentioned a trip to Floating World Comics, and as I was trying to locate some things explaining to the worker (apologetically) that I was a latecomer. I will always remember him telling me that was great, because I had everything to look forward to.
It still feels that way. So many comics later, there is still so much to look forward to.
I love it. 
Related posts: 
http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2017/01/a-year-for-comics.html
http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2013/04/but-it-was-guitar-too.html

Band Review: Moovalya

I really enjoyed Moovalya; the speed and energy of punk can be really refreshing.
The instruments on some tracks (like "Six Feet Under") can be pretty aggressive. They frequently use rat-a-tats, but it never veers into hardcore, maintaining a sense of fun and freedom.
The band proclaims their affection for the Fat Wreck Chords and Epitaph bands of the '90s. That sounds about right. More specifically, I think fans of Anti-Flag and The Offspring will be really pleased with this band.
In addition to the aforementioned "Six Feet Under", I recommend "Streetlight Streetlife". It feels like it succeeds as an anti-anthem anthem. (I'm not saying that was the intention; that was just my impression.)
Moovalya is a shot in the arm. Check them out.
https://moovalya.bandcamp.com/
https://www.facebook.com/Moovalya/
https://www.youtube.com/user/benmfjones
https://twitter.com/Moovalya

Band Review: Down On Maddy

The music of Down On Maddy tends toward the dark side of the subconscious. Auditory images are seductive, but there is something distasteful about them too.
I suspect this is intended by the band, who self-describe as dark dream-funk.
The music does interesting things. The shifts in tone established with the sax in "Rendezvous catch the ear, and I especially like the intro to "The Urge". "Titania" is inventive, and "Wake Yourself" is a solid song.
At the same time, something feels shallow and vaguely sexist. The sexist part may specifically come from "Daddy".
That is just an impression. There are two official videos on the Youtube channel, both for tracks already mentioned. I think that is the logical starting place. If you like the videos, you will probably like the rest of the album, and it will make sense to proceed.
I hated the videos, which corroborated my impressions of shallow and sexist. Based on that, I guess they worked for the songs.
http://downonmaddy.com/
https://www.facebook.com/downonmaddy
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_74...
https://downonmaddy.bandcamp.com/
https://soundcloud.com/downonmaddy
https://twitter.com/DownOnMaddy?lang=en

It was supposed to be such a nice day

I am still going through quite a bit of paperwork, but that's not the problem.
Many months ago (when I still had some money), Green Day tickets went on sale. I wanted to go and Maria told me I had to take her, which led to me buying two tickets.
More recently than that, I received an invitation to the 80th anniversary party for my credit union. It was on the same day as the concert, but that was not a huge deal. The reception is from 4 to 6 and the concert doesn't start until 7. Based on their relative proximity that would be very doable.
As the time drew closer, there started to be some concerns. One is that Maria was not going to be available. Honestly, I have bad luck with her and concerts, which I should have thought of back when I purchased the tickets.
Also, I am very poor. It didn't seem like a big deal then to buy the tickets, but now it is, and now I wish I hadn't purchased them. I have seen Green Day. It was a great show, and I wouldn't mind seeing them again. Also, I wasn't doing reviews back then, so I was looking forward to writing up a show of theirs, but still, I need the money more.
I have tried looking for someone to buy the tickets, but without any luck. That leaves going to the venue and trying to scalp them. That would not be the most fun a person could have anyway, but that's the other thing going wrong: Heat Wave.
MAX may not be running. Trimet is letting people ride for free, which is great, but for the particular places I would like to go, MAX is more convenient.
I also don't know anything about scalping. I'm not trying to make a profit, and I did buy them in good faith - how illegal is it? Is it better to be early? By how much? What are the odds of me finding someone showing up in the hopes of buying on a day like today?
All of that probably scraps the reception too. They haven't canceled it, and they sent out a reassuring message that they will have bottled water, misters, and first-aid personnel, but somehow it isn't sounding quite as fun.
In the greater scheme of things, this is probably just a blip. The face value of the tickets would not change much, and if I hadn't bought them then, it would already have been spent on something else.
It is still very discouraging. I don't get out much, and certainly not out for anything on my own. Today was supposed to be a break, and it's not, and I am let down.

To do: A clean room

No, that wasn't one of the original things on the To Do list, it's just something that I really need to do, and then not doing.
I have made multiple false starts at today's blog, and what I am writing does not feel right.
The clutter on my desk contains unemployment information, Trade Act information, Oregon Health Plan information, bills I can't pay, and probably some other things requiring some kind of action.
It appears I am not going to get anywhere else until I get to that, so that is what I must do.

Internalized sexism

About two weeks ago I was writing about some self-evaluation coming out of reading Beauty Sick, and it went pretty well. I was left feeling mainly good about myself.
You may remember that even when I had been feeling weak and without many resources, I mentioned being able to help two people by listening to them. Then I started writing about some of the things that had previously made it easy to feel badly about myself, then took some time to talk about racist attitudes and how my own weakness may have affected someone's ability to come out to me. Now that we're all caught up, I want to talk about those two people for whom I provided a listening ear.
As it was, one reason both of them needed to talk to me is that there were others who were not listening. Not by a total coincidence, both were women being talked over and down to by men.
I think it was important for me to write the post about Beyoncé's baby picture not just because I had been thinking about it, but also because of what was covered on how we need to interrogate immediate reactions and instinctive attitudes that we are sure are not racist. We run into the same problems with issues of gender.
"I'm not sexist!"
Maybe you aren't, but historically there has been enough sexism enshrined in law and enforced by tradition that it could have influenced you in ways you will not be conscious of without careful self-examination.
Remember that Sanders supporter who kept getting angrier about my support of Clinton, where it was starting to feel like harassment? Then, when I asked him if he was doing that to any male friends of his who did not support Sanders, that was a vile accusation of misogyny and he ended our Facebook friendship. 
http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2016/06/when-i-dont-appreciate-you-commenting.html
I swear I did not mean to accuse him. I knew he had at least one other contact who had disagreed with him on something, and I was curious if he was pushing everyone in the same way, because it seemed disproportionate. Personally, I suspect his conscience did the accusing, which can feel pretty terrible. It would still not be the first time that a man was not able to accept a woman's rejection of his opinion.
That came up in my second conversation from that day explicitly. A friend was receiving creepy attention from one man, which was its own problem. The reason she called me was because of a different man who just felt so sorry for the creepy one and kept reiterating that.
If he had only said it once, that could be a mild irritant and then done, but he just kept going. She expressed her discomfort with the conversation, and he kept going. He felt so sorry for the guy; after all, she would be such a prize for him.
That is objectification. It is more obvious when he uses the word "prize", but the real tell was his inability to accept her different mind and thoughts. I don't believe he is consciously thinking "I have to keep going until she admits I am right" or "Women don't get to disagree with men"; that would be too crude and obvious. I maintain that the feeling is there underneath. Since it is buried, we need to poke it and prod it and drag it out into the light.
If anyone reading this thinks that's an annoying viewpoint, I can see why you think that. I will further acknowledge that doing the work of rooting out internalized bigotry of any kind is uncomfortable and unpleasant.
That said, it really sucks being perceived as an object.

Band Review: Calling All Astronauts

One of the most tedious parts of reviewing music (for me), is listening to a string of remixes of the same song where none of the variations seem to make that much difference. Calling All Astronauts turned that upside down.
They took the third track off of Anti-Social Network, "Hands Up Who Wants To Die?" and changed the request. Do you want Metal? Goth? Dubstep? There are six different tracks providing those things.
It makes sense for them, as the band prides itself on being able to incorporate various genres, including electro and post-punk. When I am listening I hear primarily indie rock with a guitar-heavy electro influence and an undercurrent of industrial. So if sometimes I hear a riff that reminds me of The Go-Go's, or a vocalization that reminds me of Iggy Pop, that should all be in play. "The American Dream" reminds me of Nine-Inch Nails.
There is a lot to listen to here. I recommend starting with "Empire". That's not just because it's the first track of their most recent album; it's also a pretty good song.
http://www.callingallastronauts.com/
https://www.facebook.com/CallingAllAstronauts/
https://www.youtube.com/+CallingAllAstronauts
https://soundcloud.com/david_the_dj
https://twitter.com/CAA_Official