Gina Harris's Blog, page 116

Band Review: The Merry Jaynz

I admit when I saw "underground swamp rock" I thought that meant zydeco, but The Merry Jaynz are not zydeco. Maybe that is only for Louisiana. The Merry Jaynz are from South Knoxville, Tennessee.
Their red, yellow, and green, along with the name, made me think they might be a little more reggae in nature, or at least hippie. That isn't exactly right either.
As it is, in addition to there being room for different misguided ideas about the band, there is also room for more than one kind of band.
When the songs are instrumental, they are really catchy bass-driven funk. "A Thing" and "Soulmate" have completely different moods and are both excellent.
When voices come in, the instrumentation is the same but the sound is not.
The messages are often on point; "Most of Us (Dead)" sounds horrifyingly accurate. However, the voices are kind of distorted, giving the music an almost psychedelic feel. It reminds me of the music of a lot of my more counterculture friends.
That gives me some guilt about liking the instrumental tracks better, but taste is subjective. I can give The Merry Jaynz credit for filling two very different needs.
http://themerryjaynz.com/
https://www.facebook.com/themerryjaynz/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCe7iAjL1MXFdqWT6f1gPoSQ
https://twitter.com/themerryjaynz

To Do: Complete contacting singles

I have finally been released from the Single Adult committee. At least, they have someone else doing it, and I am gone.
It was never horrible, but it started to feel like too much. When I was missing meetings because no one else was free to stay with my mother, it became another source of guilt. I don't need that.
I do need to take another look at one of the To Do items on the list: Complete contacting singles.
The thing about the To Do list is that while some of them (like creating a vision board and posting a year of selfies) were definitely there because they related to my goals for growth, others were there only because they were things that I was working on at the time. Contacting single adults fell into that category, but there may still be things we can learn from it.
Just to bring everyone up to speed, the single adults committee organizes different activities and invites single adults to them. It's not about dating; it's giving people a place to have fun and feel fellowship and be nurtured by the spirit in a very family-oriented church, which is completely reasonable and valuable. I had nothing against that. Helping with the planning and putting on of these activities was okay when my life felt like less of a train wreck.
However, I also felt it was important to be aware of the single adults actually in my ward, and there were two big obstacles there: the majority of them didn't come to church anyway and the ones who did wanted nothing to do with singles' activities.
I believe some of that was a perceived stigma on singles - me showing up with an invitation was a reminder that I saw them as single, regardless of how accurate that was. It was discouraging.
My goal was to at least talk with everyone once, and find out what they needed. Is there a type of activity they would like to attend? Is there something they hate? Except the people who were at church were trying to ward me off like I was contagious and that left the people who do not go to church, who might understandably not be interested in church-related activities.
There were still a lot of good conversations. Also some slightly hostile ones. A lot of people had gotten married or moved, and I could update that information. It did feel like if the home and visiting teaching programs were working well, more of that should have been known. I was disappointed by how many people had been written off as "lost sheep". I mean, if they don't want contact you probably shouldn't keep pestering them, but was there a level of contact that could have worked and just wasn't done? Because there were people that I got to know a little, and while they were still not likely to not come out to activities, that was also true of people who were attending.
I tried a lot of different things, with phone calls, e-mail messaging, and some social media, as well as asking others who might know. I worked my way through the list three times using those methods, and was thinking about mailing post cards, but I had never considered it completed. Now it no longer makes sense to work on, by default.
This is where it becomes interesting to me for a second time, as I have to consider what counts as done. So much of this ends up being cyclical. I may research something, and give myself an assignment, complete it, and write about it, but then am I done? Have I grown enough? Have I learned enough?
There are things that I have looked at and decided that it's as far as I am going to get for now, but it may come up again, and that can be okay. I like clear delineations, but you don't always get them. Maybe you can only ask if it is enough for now.
Single adults was the first time I ever remember asking to be released from a calling. I did not feel good about that. Actually, I felt on the verge of hysteria asking for the release. I did keep doing things for the nine months or so it took for them to get someone else. Enough?
I did not complete working on the list. I don't believe I could have had actual contact with many more people, maybe one or two at most. Enough? Probably, I hope.
For myself, I am deciding that it is done, and I believe it is reasonable.
Related posts:
http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2015/10/this-next-section-to-do.html

Au revoir les enfants

Today I called and ended my Plan sponsorships. It smarts.
I can acknowledge that it was amazing that I kept them up as long as I did. Being able to put some money in the bank for before last month's withdrawal was practically miraculous as it was. I don't have any miracles on the horizon.
I can see reasons why I should have done this a long time ago. It's not that the amount would cover any individual bill for one month (except the cell phone), but a few months adding up would have. Anyway, I don't see a way of making it work anymore.
I was sure yesterday that it was the right thing to do, and that I would need to call today. Getting it done required logging in, and brought up photos of all their faces. I wavered then, I tell you. Except, it's not a matter of using money I have for something else. It's a matter of the money not being there, and attempts to get it out resulting in three overdraft charges.
It's done, and I feel just about as useless and worthless as I have in a while.
Anyway, that's weighing pretty heavily on me today.

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2013/02/task-childreach.html

Happy Labor Day

If you have a job that gives you this holiday, I hope you are having a great day off. I do have some thoughts.
I remember the last time minimum wage was being discussed. Many small business owners were complaining about how their employees had it so good while the owners couldn't even do... followed by some thing that they wanted to do.
I get the frustration of not having enough money for the things you want. I will even grant some understanding for frustration that your employees are doing better than you, assuming that's true. I do question whether it's true.
No one lives really high on the hog on minimum wage. That's why there are all of these discussions about raising the minimum wage, and a living wage, and how even the new minimum wage they talk about may not be a living wage.
It is certainly possible that the employee has fewer expenses, which could look like a more comfortable life. Many of the employers I have seen complaining have homes and children, and that takes money. As we are not talking about basing wages on how many people you support (and as doing so would certainly lead to a hiring bias against family people), we should not take that greater need into consideration.
It is also possible that the employee is making more. If you are living out of the profits while they get an actual wage, they could be doing better. That would be frustrating.
Here's my problem: if you can't afford to support yourself and the labor you require to keep your business going, maybe it's not a viable business.
If it is something where there are customers, so you know there is a demand, but you can't clear enough profit while still adequately compensating for labor, maybe you are not the best person to run that business.
Maybe it's not you. Maybe there is something set up in the system where the big guys are able to get price breaks or skip certain expenses, and it can be very hard to compete with them -- that would be very frustrating. That doesn't give you a right to send it rolling downhill, where devaluing another person becomes the answer.
And they do devalue the other person -- that becomes so clear as the arguments go on. "That's for an entry-level job. If they don't move on, it's their own fault."  Nope, not as much as you might think. Most companies pay as low as they can legally manage, and they like it that way. A high demand for employees can raise that, but with increasing automation, that is unlikely. (Though more spending power for the low-paid could help.)
It's not even anything new. Yes, much of what happened with U.S. slavery was a response to servants of different races uniting for Bacon's Rebellion, but the inhumanity of that response had a strong foundation in the already present dehumanization of the indentured servants. It was already common to add years to the contract, or to overwork or to starve the servants. Do they really need time to grow and cook food for themselves when it takes away from their duties?
Greed does that. It doesn't even require particularly bad people starting out to do that. Little by little, it is so easy to think about what should be yours and resent anything that you don't get to keep, no matter how much you need employees to keep things running.
That's not even talking about corporations. They are bigger and able to do a lot more damage, and most efforts for equality and environmentalism probably do need to be directed at them. But still, when the small businesses take the corporate attitude, when that small step up they have becomes a reason to step on someone else, that keeps us all down.

Band Review: Giles Lamb

This review of Giles Lamb is serendipity. I was trying to track down a video of a comedy sketch using Earth, Wind, and Fire's "September". In the process I came across "September" by Giles Lamb and liked it.
Film composers have different goals than rock bands, often needing to focus more on making a good background than standing out. A week of listening can be great, but it may be hard to point to specific songs.
As it is, I still really like "September". I also especially enjoyed the tracks under Timeless/Visit Scotland.
I could also point to tracks I like less. Transform sounds a bit more technological, and is not as relaxing. Even knowing it is not my favorite, I suspect everything on Transform works for its intended purpose, which is important. The ability to meet the needs of various projects should keep Lamb employed, but it is still nice that the music can be enjoyed outside of that context. It is still good that many of the pieces are independently beautiful.
My favorite is Before the Birds. That is where "September" comes from, so it makes sense. I wouldn't have found it without a random search.
Sometimes things work out.
http://www.gileslamb.com/
https://www.facebook.com/gileslambmusic/
https://soundcloud.com/giles-lamb
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-46wkg7WDpw_0N12pZioIQ
https://twitter.com/gileslamb

Band Review: Seasonal

ETA -- Kodachrome is by a different Seasonal. This means that I like all of their music, and not more their older music. I do wish I had known this sooner.

I am making these corrections, but I will also try and see if at some point I can get a live review or a new album review for this Seasonal, for something that will only be theirs.


Seasonal is a band from Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
They self-describe as indie/emo/whatever, and I think that's a reasonable level of ambivalence.
NOT THEM - Their most recent release, 2017's Kodachrome, comes with a style that reminds me of many bands that have come up for both emo and alternative when I have been exploring those genres. Many of the tracks feature speech over the music, similar to some hardcore bands, but not as concussive.
However, before that, from various singles and 2015's The World We Choose to See, the sound was a bit mellower. There is a lot of musicality with the guitars, and some nods to the '70s.
There is a lot to be said for continuing to develop and try new things over the path of a band. The more recent sound hearkens to some of the traditional punk history of the region.
Still, I like the older stuff better. Special favorites were "Cricket Weather" and "At Sunset".
https://www.facebook.com/seasonaltheband
https://seasonaltheband.bandcamp.com/
https://soundcloud.com/seasonaltheband
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCseCedDMKucSw9IACmNZ4Wg
https://twitter.com/seasonaltheband

One good thing about emo

I am pretty excited about my journey through Nothing Feels Good. For the book itself, I only have listening to a little Blake Schwarzenbach (Jawbreaker, Jets to Brazil) left.
Yes. there are still some other things to go through before I start the next music book, Guitar Heroes of the 70s, but it is nonetheless progress, and I like that the rest of the material has not been dictated by Andy Greenwald.
As I make progress there, I will probably spend some more time on suspended emotional maturity and the downsides of wallowing, but today I want to praise, in that emo really did seem to be a movement that made everyone believe they could form a band.
That is where I see the strongest punk connection. One film image I have never forgotten is a graphic of new bands springing up around cities where the Ramones played, which I later saw repeated with other bands. There are lots of ways in which music can inspire, but to inspire others to explore their own creativity and to express themselves is something special.
Of course, a lot of those bands aren't very good. That might be a part of how it happens: a band that isn't technically proficient but has a lot of heart inspires others that are even less proficient but responding emotionally. Not all of them can be magic. At least, not all of them can be magic for everyone.
One of the other things coming up is a list of twelve emo bands that Alternative Press  would like to see reunited. Some of those bands were not in the book, but there was one that I already listened to and found really annoying.
No, I am not going to name them. Yes, I will listen to them again in the context of that list. Yes, there is a good chance they will annoy me again, but that's okay. It's nice that they meant something to someone. It's great that someone associates this band with something other than the sensation of fingernails on a chalkboard, you know? And it was probably good for them to be a band too.
I like high art, but I like accessible art too. I like that there is variety. I like that there is something for everyone.
When I first started thinking about emo, part of it was how much it meant to these kids, and how passionate they could be about it. There were kids who were passionate about acts that were way more pop as well. I'm not saying that it is purely subjective, but I support there being a lot of room for a lot of variety.
I get why Jim Suptic apologized for The Get Up Kids' influence, but I think there was something positive there too.
And I do have a burning desire to know whom he meant when he referred to the bands not being very good, but I'm not naming the band that I thought was terrible either, so perhaps it's better this way.

The windmills of my mind

As has not been at all uncommon, because there are many interrelated topics that interest me deciding the order of the upcoming blog posts has been difficult. (If you read regularly, you have heard that one before.) I was thinking about it when I went to bed last night and when I woke up this morning.
I often do a little scripture study before I pray, suspecting that my brain will be working a little better and that my prayer will be a little more effective when I get to it. Having my mind both alert and focused in the morning is not really easy for me.
Today I studied first, and I can't exactly say that it worked because as soon as I knelt down my mind starting going all over the place, but then one thought sent me down a path that it needed to go.
That one may be a little too personal to talk about right now. I can say that it was important, and that it removed some pressure from me. It also was not what I was expecting; currently morning and night my primary thought is always what do I need to do to get some money and get these bills paid. Given my situation (two months behind on everything), that is a very reasonable prayer. (Maybe I can also say that the unexpected path was related to my other main concern.)
So I took that path, and then as I was wrapping up I tried to return to my primary purpose, and my brain started squirreling around again. As I started to get frustrated with that, I had another thought.
There are two frustrating things that my mind does. It will often circle round and round, continuously, turning over the problems that I can't crack. At other times it will get distracted, continuously thinking of new things to look up, like Red Riding Hood seeing another clump of wildflowers until hopelessly drawn from the path.
They seem opposite in nature, perhaps similar in mental energy, but they are different ways of spending the energy and they feel different. Visually, one is a circle and one is a branch, and what really unites them is whether or not I should have been doing something else the entire time.
What came to me today is that this is how my knowledge base is built. The things that I know, I know because of this.
There was probably something else that helped. Another person read Cara , and she came to me Sunday and while she thought the story was cute, what really impressed her was how I explained various gospel concepts in the novel, because they were so clear. And I was thinking, that's what I do: I explain things. And I can explain things because of how my mind works.
When you combine the circles and the branches you get a network, a web, a database with a helpful reference guide --- I don't know; it's something.
This is how I am made and it serves a purpose.
I will not be frustrated with it anymore.

The problem with sheet caking

In case the title of today's post confuses you, I am including this handy reference article:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2017/08/18/tina-fey-ate-cake-on-snl-and-it-became-a-whole-thing/?utm_term=.488fa57ad5cb
I have not watched Saturday Night Live regularly since October 1993. It just kept becoming less funny after that, and I gave up on it. The only reason I watched "sheet caking" is because it became a thing, and I saw a lot of people whom I respect criticizing it, basically for these reasons:
https://www.out.com/news-opinion/2017/8/19/why-tina-feys-sheet-caking-epitome-white-privilege
Many people have defended the sketch. They have been overwhelmingly white, which reinforces that this is a white privilege problem. "Privilege" is having the ability to not feel the problem, which gets exacerbated when the first response is defensiveness instead of thinking again.
I want to be very clear here that no one was horrible to me for posting the article. Two or three people commented, I replied, and it was all cordial. I would still like to spend a little more time on the topic, especially because of some things that have happened since.
The first thing I thought while watching was that it was sad. Humor tends to come from dark places. The brilliance of comedy is making something better out of that darkness, but when it isn't done well you can really have a mess, and that's what I saw.
I also get it. This ugliness in the world isn't new -- there's certainly nothing new about racism -- but seeing it so empowered, and knowing how it has been empowered, and that none of the revelations that come out seem to have any impact so that the hideousness of that line of succession doesn't matter... Got it! I get despair, and hopeless rage, and stress eating.
It's also been done before. I saw a video not long after the election of a crying, depressed white girl in a Hillary sweatshirt, and a Black woman came and put her through a boot camp style training where she would be ready to shut down her Trump-voting relatives at Thanksgiving.
I can't find it now. I don't think I even shared it back then because I thought there were some flaws in the execution there too. However, at least it ended with some sense of empowerment. In that way this video was infinitely superior.
I believe Tina Fey means well. She gets some things right, and she gets race wrong often enough that she might not be the best person to look to for answers, but hey, she's white. And that's the thing: she is white, has assets through her celebrity, and may not be super-rich but she does okay. The pain of feeling bad about this is real, but she is not under immediate threat. Yes, racist  authoritarianism -- whether Socialist or Fascist -- keeps casting a wider net, so everyone ends up endangered eventually, but she is not in danger now. That is an excellent reason for her to not tell everyone else to shut out the world.
Self-care is a real thing, and sometimes you do have to shut down. You may need to take time to cry, or catch up on sleep, or just to find a way to feel good. If that involves comfort food, so be it. But in the same way that it is wrong to push people to go out and fight when they need recovery time, it is also wrong to try and use self-care as a way of shutting other people down.
That happens surprisingly often. "I need help with-- " "Self-care!" "No, I just need someone to--" "Self-care!" I believe it's a form of denial for when someone is not able to offer what is actually needed, so having similar base motivations with "Not all" (and probably mansplaining too). Sometimes it is okay that you can't contribute; just don't make so much extraneous noise that you are drowning out the people who can.
This segment felt like taking the shame of not knowing what to do and trying to justify it by making that the answer. Shades of W, the answer becomes consumption, yes by supporting minority-owned businesses, but still, literally conspicuous consumption and absolutely not by putting  your body and voice out there.
Except for this:
https://www.democracynow.org/2017/8/23/headlines/white_nationalists_right_wing_groups_cancel_67_planned_rallies
The counter-protests remind the white supremacists that while the president and his cabinet and way too much of the legislative and judicial branches have their backs, that there are still more people who know they are despicable. It horrifies you to have a bunch of mediocre young white men chanting Nazi slogans while dressed in the president's golfing clothes and carrying tiki torches; it should. You still need to recognize it as an attempt to assert power that will feel successful without resistance.
The post-election United States are exhausting. There is always something horrible and new, but a lot of what fails happens because of the phone calls and protests. Those actions have mattered for health care and the travel ban and they matter with racism.
It sucks. It would be worse without action, and it is worse than it was. There are many who are suffering now because they are vulnerable in ways that you are not yet. It's nice that you care, especially if you do not yet need to. I am sorry for how much that hurts. I would hug and feed and listen to everyone if I could, believe me.
But don't get in the way of those who are willing and able to do the work. Some of them are probably hanging on by a thread too; do not throw your crap at them. Even comedy can be used as a force for good.
That's not what happened here.

Band Review: Widetrack

I was surprised to see Widetrack mention prog-rock for their influences and genre, even while pairing it with alternative. It made more sense after watching a video where two of the band members declared their devotion to "yacht rock".
This includes a specific appreciation for the "Yacht Rock" video series, but also the smooth soft rock of the seventies, when hits on the radio were good and not ruined by MTV.
My pet peeve of bands being more adept at trashing more popular work than praising what they like has been getting aggravated more and more frequently lately anyway. Here that was combined with a sense of unease based on the mismatch in age between the musicians featured. It seemed odd, though they were united in their belief of what you should seek out if you were into music or comedy at all.
There were only two, Ron and Zach, featured in the video, but the band appears to have at least one and probably two other people. Again, they do not do a good job of defining themselves, especially in ways other than oppositional.
The music is not bad. It does not sound particularly like Christopher Cross either, despite their appreciation for him. I could believe that they were influenced by Rush, but the more pressing issue is how the songs seem to blur into each other. This is again something that could indicate that the band has not really found their identity yet. Is it a bad sign that their album names are Widetrack and Widetrack II?
"Lazicarus" caught my attention every time it came on, so that is probably the starting place to find an interest in the band. Instead, there are so many things that are off-putting that I am not making a recommendation to check out the band, unless you were a big fan of the "Yacht Rock" series. Then there would be a strong match in sensibilities that might work out.
http://www.widetrackmusic.com/home
https://www.facebook.com/Widetrackband/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN9v92pDo65Ply0zc9Z-7Vg
https://soundcloud.com/widetrack
https://twitter.com/Widetrackband