Janine Ashbless's Blog, page 66
December 4, 2015
The wood be good
This is the year a dream of mine came true. We bought a wood!
It's not a big wood - less than 5 acres, which for you American readers out there makes it more an overgrown yard than a woodland, but it has a great mix of trees and there's plenty of work for me to do!
BIG wild cherries
Quite a lot of hazel coppice- I'm still deciding whether or not to restore it or let it grow.
This patch of larch is probably the best camping spot
I will have to learn some fungus identification...
And I want to know if we have a badger sett ... or just the biggest scariest rabbits this side of Efrafa:
A wood never looks its most exciting at this time of year, but rest assured I will now be boring the hell out of you with tree pics all year round ;-)
It's not a big wood - less than 5 acres, which for you American readers out there makes it more an overgrown yard than a woodland, but it has a great mix of trees and there's plenty of work for me to do!
BIG wild cherries
Quite a lot of hazel coppice- I'm still deciding whether or not to restore it or let it grow.
This patch of larch is probably the best camping spot
I will have to learn some fungus identification...
And I want to know if we have a badger sett ... or just the biggest scariest rabbits this side of Efrafa:
A wood never looks its most exciting at this time of year, but rest assured I will now be boring the hell out of you with tree pics all year round ;-)
December 2, 2015
When I was 48 ...
Janine Ashbless: culture vulture Every year on my birthday I look back - just to check that I haven't got old and stopped trying new things yet. So here, as I teeter on the far edge of my forties, is my latest log...When I was 48, for the very first time ...
I fulfilled a lifetime dream and I now OWN A SMALL WOODLAND! For my birthday I went out to saw my own trees for the first time ever and it was AWESOME :-)I gave a Powerpoint presentation (it was at Eroticon 2015, where I also drank my way through a party tray of flavoured vodkas, and tried cupping, so it was a whole weekend of Firsts) I briefly owned a selfie-stick. I never used it.I bought a she-wee. I have used it, with varying degrees of success (!)I got spanked in public by Cara Sutra (and it was Facebooked!)
I had my first breast-cancer scare and my first mammogram. Thankfully, the results were negative, but for two weeks I was seriously focused on rearranging my life.I started running. I stopped running ... :/I bought a vape pipe. Two, in fact.I had my DNA sequencedI visited Germany (Munich, several times, because Mr Ashbless' employer was paying), Austria (Salzburg), Portugal (Lisbon), and quite a lot of Ethiopia.
I got a story into Best Horror of the Year!I started getting Friend requests from weird blokes attempting to pull on Facebook. Somehow I'd managed to avoid it until now.I took a cushion to the cinema because the seats hurt my back :-(I saw AC/DC, the Foo Fighters and Fall Out Boy gig live. I liked FOB best, because they had the best sound set up by far. I mean Wow, you could actually hear the lyrics!
I took part in one of those Puzzle Rooms where you get locked in and have to Adventure Game your way out. WE FAILED.I was granted a small coastal town in the amazing Map of Literature
I had some POETRY printed in an anthology! Good grief! Then I videoed me reading some!
Forty-eight was pretty amazing really. I have no idea what forty-nine will bring - and that's a good thing :-)
November 30, 2015
Blue Monday special - Ashbless reads poetry!
Coming Together: in Verse is out NOW!
Amazon US :: Amazon UK
A collection of many many NSFW poems - some absolutely filthy, some romantic, some funny, some melancholy, some deep, some that rhyme and some that don't - this anthology is edited by the amazing performance poet Ashley Lister and raises money for Hope for Paws.
BUY IT FOR THE DOGGIES!
As an extra special treat (!) here's me reading out my poem: On Erotic Vocabulary.
November 29, 2015
My first birthday card
God bless my lovely friends...
November 27, 2015
Too tired to blog!
... And not in a good way. The gin is calling me tonight.
November 25, 2015
Mythological misalliances: the art of Max Pirner
The SleepwalkerToday's fabulous Victorian/Edwardian artist is a bit of an obscurity, but clearly a man after my own heart. Maxmilian Pirner (1854-1924, and you may need an online translator) was a Czech who loved painting symbolist and mythological subjects, preferably ones with boobies in, and actually did a series on "mythological misalliances" - i.e. sexual mismatches - and if this lot aren't Ashblessy, I don't know what is!
Guess which one's my favourite, ahem?
Here's his take on the triple-goddess of witchcraft Hekate, complete with attributes of moon, flaming torch etc - he knew his stuff.
This grim allegorical piece is called Homo Homini Lupus - "man is wolf to man" and shows the natural world watching in amazement as Humanity (still semi-animal in some characteristics) is raised above them as both god and sacrificial victim.
... I think. Symbolists eh? The Temptation of St. Jerome is a good old-fashioned saintly subject, yet somehow I reckon this treatment is not entirely suitable for church display:
He did a few excellent portrayals of Medusa - along with sleepwalkers, she seems to have been a subject that fascinated him:
Here she is again in Finis: the End of all Things
... with Death hanging over her shoulder:
But if you don't want to end on a sombre note, here's The Prey, which is a dark joke ...
The lady leads the ogre home for supper, having successfully captured dragon, knight, and his steed!
November 23, 2015
Blue Monday: Ian Smith guests
Every Monday I post a naughty excerpt for your entertainment!
This week's sexy snippet is from Ian Smith's new book Knights Errant - first in the Merely Players series.
Lonely widower Paul knows he's ready to move on and start a new relationship, but doesn't expect to meet two attractive and interesting women at the same time. They want to recruit his jousting display team to feature in a TV show.
Becky and Hayley are best friends, as different as chalk and cheese, and both clearly fancy Paul. A decent guy at heart, he hopes to win one without harming their friendship. But the women don't make it any easier when they turn up the heat and leave him wondering what's going on.
A fantastic prize is within his reach. He just has to overcome his deepest fears, self-doubts, and fragile self-confidence. And be Hayley's leading man in the TV show she hopes will make her name. So no pressure. Just take a deep breath and let these two intriguing women lead him way outside his comfort zone.
She opened the door and walked in backwards, towing me by my jacket lapels. I pushed the door shut and we undressed each other hurriedly. I picked her up again and shuffled towards the bed. I managed to lay her down gently, then we hugged, kissed, and explored each other. Her full breasts were sensitive to my touches and kisses, and her pussy tasted hot, salty, and so exciting. Her first orgasm was quick to arrive and clearly intense. She was deliciously vocal as her climax approached and she moaned loudly as she crested.
We cuddled while she got her breath back, then she stroked my cheek. "Come on, you big hunk, fuck me. I've got a coil, so you don't need a condom."
My hard cock slid inside her soft, warm wetness so easily. She felt gorgeous, her pussy hot around my cock, her arms around my back, her legs writhing around my thighs and her tongue against mine. We were both eager in our shared lust and want. I thrust hard, over and over again. She gasped and pushed her hips up against me. Her nails scratched my back and dug into my skin as she came again with loud cries.
"Oh, fuck, that was amazing." She lay back and panted for a few seconds. "You going to fill me or what?"
"Pretty damn soon," I murmured.
"Oh, good." She purred as she wrapped her legs tightly around mine and squeezed my backside with her hands, urging me on. "Just get that cock right into me."
We ground against each other, so I was as deep inside her as I could be. My climax was a burst of intense pleasure as I shot hot pulses into her.
We cuddled and giggled while our sweat dried. We lay on top of the bed in the warm room. The sheet was tangled around my ankles and the duvet had been thrown aside in our haste.
"Wow," she said. "It's years since sex was this much fun. Like being a student again." She leaned her arms across my chest, rested her chin on them, and grinned at me. "Fancy some sparkling wine? I left a bottle in the basin in the bathroom, in cold water."
"Got some glasses?"
"On the table. I'll get the wine," she said.
I watched her scamper across the room. She had a lovely figure, nicely curved, and well worth watching.
She passed me the bottle to open and we stood together, her tucked under one of my arms as we clinked glasses and sipped the wine. Which reminded me of something silly Helen and I used to do.
"Put your glass down," I murmured and took a long sip from my own before putting it down beside hers. I put both arms around her and she grinned up at me. I leaned down to kiss her and let the sparkling wine trickle from my mouth into hers, where it exploded into a fizzy shared experience.
She was startled for a fraction of a second, then burst out laughing. "The bubbles went up my nose."
"Want to try it again?"
"You bet. At least I know what to expect this time."
She giggled as we shared another sip of wine. When we finished the kiss, she looked up at me. "Right, you're in trouble now." She arched an eyebrow. "On the bed please. And no fidgeting."
Intrigued, I lay on the bed. She produced a box of fancy chocolates and opened it, then selected two and put them on my nipples. Then she straddled me, bent down and slowly ate each one, licking and teasing my nipples with her lips as she did. As she moved, her pussy stroked my cock, which started paying attention again.
She placed four more chocolates on my body and slowly ate each one. The fourth was placed on the tip of my cock and it had melted a little before she got around to dealing with it. All I knew was that she had a fantastically exciting way of using her tongue.
"My turn." I gasped, as she released me from a delicious teasing.
She rolled onto her back and I placed chocolates on her nipples, between her breasts, on her tummy and one on her pubic hair just above her clit. Then I held one between my lips and leaned close enough for her to bite half of it. I chewed the other half, then kissed her, which made her giggle again. I took my time eating those on her body, which meant the one near her clit had softened nicely.
"Oh, dear," I said. "This may need some serious work to clean up."
"Oh, dear, indeed." She sounded a little breathless. "We wouldn't want to make a mess of these sheets."
She sighed happily as I enjoyed the chocolate. Then again as I got distracted by her lovely pussy. And that got us both in the mood and very eager again.
She rolled me onto my back and took charge for our second bout of sex. That was slower and really good fun, with tickling, giggles, and laughter. She sat astride my hips and played with her clit until she came. She watched me until the last moment, when she had to close her eyes. Watching her face as she climaxed was a lovely sight. She seemed so carried away. Then she lay on my chest and watched my face intently as she pumped me with her hips until I erupted inside her again. I felt relaxed and happy. I could step further back from the edge of the pit of depression I'd managed to climb out of. This was just like making love, a brief, blissful reminder of what had been. And which seemed a lifetime ago.
Buy Knights Errant at
Fireborn
Amazon US
Amazon UK
Kobo
All Romance eBook
Coffee Time Romance
B&N Nook
BookStrand
"I'm a professional scientist by day, aspiring madcap writer in my spare time. After living in various parts of England, I’m now settled in Cornwall, in the south-west of England. Not far from Poldark country...
My education was obviously science-based, but I've always been a keen reader - thrillers, science fiction, fantasy, horror, a few classics, and even some romances.
Scientific papers and technical reports are interesting to write, but one day I knew they weren’t what I really wanted to do. I started writing general interest factual articles and giving public talks. Then I decided to try fiction and joined a constructive critiquing group, whose feedback convinced me to stick at it. My confidence was boosted by having four short stories published in anthologies. Now I’ve gone and written a whole book, I want to write another. Well, okay, lots more..."
Ian Smith on Facebook
This week's sexy snippet is from Ian Smith's new book Knights Errant - first in the Merely Players series.
Lonely widower Paul knows he's ready to move on and start a new relationship, but doesn't expect to meet two attractive and interesting women at the same time. They want to recruit his jousting display team to feature in a TV show.
Becky and Hayley are best friends, as different as chalk and cheese, and both clearly fancy Paul. A decent guy at heart, he hopes to win one without harming their friendship. But the women don't make it any easier when they turn up the heat and leave him wondering what's going on.
A fantastic prize is within his reach. He just has to overcome his deepest fears, self-doubts, and fragile self-confidence. And be Hayley's leading man in the TV show she hopes will make her name. So no pressure. Just take a deep breath and let these two intriguing women lead him way outside his comfort zone.
She opened the door and walked in backwards, towing me by my jacket lapels. I pushed the door shut and we undressed each other hurriedly. I picked her up again and shuffled towards the bed. I managed to lay her down gently, then we hugged, kissed, and explored each other. Her full breasts were sensitive to my touches and kisses, and her pussy tasted hot, salty, and so exciting. Her first orgasm was quick to arrive and clearly intense. She was deliciously vocal as her climax approached and she moaned loudly as she crested.
We cuddled while she got her breath back, then she stroked my cheek. "Come on, you big hunk, fuck me. I've got a coil, so you don't need a condom."
My hard cock slid inside her soft, warm wetness so easily. She felt gorgeous, her pussy hot around my cock, her arms around my back, her legs writhing around my thighs and her tongue against mine. We were both eager in our shared lust and want. I thrust hard, over and over again. She gasped and pushed her hips up against me. Her nails scratched my back and dug into my skin as she came again with loud cries.
"Oh, fuck, that was amazing." She lay back and panted for a few seconds. "You going to fill me or what?"
"Pretty damn soon," I murmured.
"Oh, good." She purred as she wrapped her legs tightly around mine and squeezed my backside with her hands, urging me on. "Just get that cock right into me."
We ground against each other, so I was as deep inside her as I could be. My climax was a burst of intense pleasure as I shot hot pulses into her.
We cuddled and giggled while our sweat dried. We lay on top of the bed in the warm room. The sheet was tangled around my ankles and the duvet had been thrown aside in our haste.
"Wow," she said. "It's years since sex was this much fun. Like being a student again." She leaned her arms across my chest, rested her chin on them, and grinned at me. "Fancy some sparkling wine? I left a bottle in the basin in the bathroom, in cold water."
"Got some glasses?"
"On the table. I'll get the wine," she said.
I watched her scamper across the room. She had a lovely figure, nicely curved, and well worth watching.
She passed me the bottle to open and we stood together, her tucked under one of my arms as we clinked glasses and sipped the wine. Which reminded me of something silly Helen and I used to do.
"Put your glass down," I murmured and took a long sip from my own before putting it down beside hers. I put both arms around her and she grinned up at me. I leaned down to kiss her and let the sparkling wine trickle from my mouth into hers, where it exploded into a fizzy shared experience.
She was startled for a fraction of a second, then burst out laughing. "The bubbles went up my nose."
"Want to try it again?"
"You bet. At least I know what to expect this time."
She giggled as we shared another sip of wine. When we finished the kiss, she looked up at me. "Right, you're in trouble now." She arched an eyebrow. "On the bed please. And no fidgeting."
Intrigued, I lay on the bed. She produced a box of fancy chocolates and opened it, then selected two and put them on my nipples. Then she straddled me, bent down and slowly ate each one, licking and teasing my nipples with her lips as she did. As she moved, her pussy stroked my cock, which started paying attention again.
She placed four more chocolates on my body and slowly ate each one. The fourth was placed on the tip of my cock and it had melted a little before she got around to dealing with it. All I knew was that she had a fantastically exciting way of using her tongue.
"My turn." I gasped, as she released me from a delicious teasing.
She rolled onto her back and I placed chocolates on her nipples, between her breasts, on her tummy and one on her pubic hair just above her clit. Then I held one between my lips and leaned close enough for her to bite half of it. I chewed the other half, then kissed her, which made her giggle again. I took my time eating those on her body, which meant the one near her clit had softened nicely.
"Oh, dear," I said. "This may need some serious work to clean up."
"Oh, dear, indeed." She sounded a little breathless. "We wouldn't want to make a mess of these sheets."
She sighed happily as I enjoyed the chocolate. Then again as I got distracted by her lovely pussy. And that got us both in the mood and very eager again.
She rolled me onto my back and took charge for our second bout of sex. That was slower and really good fun, with tickling, giggles, and laughter. She sat astride my hips and played with her clit until she came. She watched me until the last moment, when she had to close her eyes. Watching her face as she climaxed was a lovely sight. She seemed so carried away. Then she lay on my chest and watched my face intently as she pumped me with her hips until I erupted inside her again. I felt relaxed and happy. I could step further back from the edge of the pit of depression I'd managed to climb out of. This was just like making love, a brief, blissful reminder of what had been. And which seemed a lifetime ago.
Buy Knights Errant at Fireborn
Amazon US
Amazon UK
Kobo
All Romance eBook
Coffee Time Romance
B&N Nook
BookStrand
"I'm a professional scientist by day, aspiring madcap writer in my spare time. After living in various parts of England, I’m now settled in Cornwall, in the south-west of England. Not far from Poldark country...
My education was obviously science-based, but I've always been a keen reader - thrillers, science fiction, fantasy, horror, a few classics, and even some romances.
Scientific papers and technical reports are interesting to write, but one day I knew they weren’t what I really wanted to do. I started writing general interest factual articles and giving public talks. Then I decided to try fiction and joined a constructive critiquing group, whose feedback convinced me to stick at it. My confidence was boosted by having four short stories published in anthologies. Now I’ve gone and written a whole book, I want to write another. Well, okay, lots more..."
Ian Smith on Facebook
November 22, 2015
November 20, 2015
Naughty Witchdoctor
The art of the music video is not dead! I've been captivated by two this week. And while not directly erotic, they certainly are inspirational ;-)
The first is a rather beautiful one from Naughty Boy:
This one, from Dutch band De Staat, is not beautiful, but it is spectacular and mesmerising:
The first is a rather beautiful one from Naughty Boy:
This one, from Dutch band De Staat, is not beautiful, but it is spectacular and mesmerising:
November 18, 2015
DVD review: Häxan
Original posterYou may feel I'm running a little late with this, since the movie
Häxan
(silent, B&W, Swedish intertitles) was released in 1922. And promptly banned in the USA for sex, torture and perversion scenes.Their standards were quite low.
Take my word for it, there's no reason it should be a 15. Technically I could have watched it upon its re-release (with a narration by William Burroughs) in 1968, now entitled Witchcraft Through the Ages - but I don't think my Mum would have approved.
It is a brilliant film.
It starts off as a staid documentary trying to explain how the witchcraft superstition and subsequent persecutions arose in Europe. The depictions of medieval scenes are actually quite creditable, though I don't dare pronounce on the mad hats.
The movie then veers off into wild fantasy sequences depicting sabbats and visitations from the devil, utilising the absolute cutting edge of SFX available at the time - prosthetics, animated drawings, stop-motion, puppetry ... and these are all actually pretty good, if quite charmingly unfrightening and tame by modern standards.
OMG - a nude scene!Then it comes back to earth and spends some time trying to show how superstition, spite, sexual repression and ruthless church corruption combine into a poisonous cocktail that can wipe out entire communities - starting with the wrinkly old ladies, moving on to the young and beautiful, and eventually taking everyone down.
It does star some incredibly wrinkly actors:
What's most heartening is its cynical, scientific approach after all the uber-enthusiastic and very stylish fantasy - it attributes the hallucinations to herbal potions and Hysteria - a diagnosis of mental illness that, interestingly enough, they thought they could establish by its physical symptoms in the 1920s.
Numbness in the back, to be precise(Of course "Hysteria" is no longer in medical vogue. My social worker mole tells me that nowadays it's "emotionally unstable personality disorder -" and either "impulsive" or "borderline" type.)But it's the visuals that are most enchanting...
Here's a taster:
You can actually watch the whole thing on Youtube but I do recommend buying it. The DVD I got has both the (longer) original and the narrated 1968 version, with several alternate musical scores.
