Monica Valentinelli's Blog: booksofm.com, page 68

A Black Friday Sermon

Dear Holiday Shopper,

On this auspicious shopping day, when thousands, nigh millions of lemmings people make the annual trek to ye olde shopping malls and outlet centers in search of that elusive great deal, let us remember those invisible, stressed-out souls that make Black Friday possible.

The average Retail Worker.

Never has there been such a brave, brave animus. This downtrodden human being willingly sacrifices their happiness for not just one, but all the sheep customers who flock through the doors of their humble shop. While they may earn a paltry sum for their efforts, the Retail Worker does not brandish a sword to control the crowds nor do they have the ability to stand up for themselves. No! They have no weapons at their disposal other than their wits and grit and uniform.

Remember, this person of exceptional might tolerates endless hours of screaming banshees children, Christmas music on infinite loop, crabby (and argumentative) shoppers, and frantic bosses with even more frenzied district managers for you. Why? Why would anyone subject themselves to such madness? The average retail worker does this in order to make a sales goal and provide excellent customer service in order to keep their job and have a holiday of their own, with their own family, friends, and loved ones.

Your symphony of deals did not magically appear. Many human-hours have gone into training, reshelving, restocking, and sprucing up store shelves to entice you. The presents there that beg to be exchanged and placed under your tree didn’t pop into being. Did elves work tirelessly to infiltrate brick-and-mortar shops? (Okay, I’m sorry to tell you this, but Santa isn’t real. . .) No! This accomplished feat had been undertaken by many Retail Workers under the direction of their Grand Lord/Lordess, the Retail Store Manager, who answers to a Higher Power(s) — The District/State/Regional Director of Retail Management. Together, the Church of [Your Favorite Retail Store Here] combines their efforts to set the stage for a very stressful day.

So, on this day of days, the blackest of any weekday every imagined ( which, incidentally, belongs to Freya ) I implore you to smile a little brighter and bitch a tad less.

When you see the Retail Worker, wave! When you have a question? Don’t yell at the Retail Worker for being stupid, ask them politely. Stop fighting over that last doohickey on the shelves — designate a replacement gift. And if you can’t find anything to buy? Think the deals are crap? Don’t scream at the Retail Worker — it’s not their fault, they’re just doing their job. (For extra karma points, you could thank the Retail Worker for their efforts.) Want to fight with your fellow customer? There is nothing more horrific than to watch two grown adults engage in a bout of fisticuffs over L’il Suzy’s Talking Furry Doll That Also Realistically Poops. Also, at that point, fair warning but? When fingers grab and fists punch? Store security and the police may be called.

And so, we come to the close of this ye olde sermon. On Black Friday, there is no worse possible place to be, than to ring up sales behind the counter or walk the aisles to drone on and on about sales.

A fact that Black Friday shoppers should all do well to remember.

Signed,

A Recovering Former Black Friday Retail Worker

Thankful Thanks for Thanksgiving

To those of you in the U.S., Happy Thanksgiving! May this be a day of culinary delights and subsequent naps. We’re having a hipster Thanksgiving; no turkey here today. Instead, we’re having marinated steak tips with portabella mushrooms, pumpkin cheesecake, monkey bread (a holly-day favorite here in our house), mulled apple cider, and other savory treats. (Oh, and some other vegetables, too. But we won’t talk about those. OH NO.)

Let’s see, something deep that I’m thankful for. . . Not related to house or home or cats or friends or love. . . I am thankful for new beginnings! Yay!

There. Mission o’ thanks accomplished. Off to the eatering!

Mood: Hungry. Feeeeeeeed me.

Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: What? I swear I didn’t drink all the coffee!

Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Walkin’. Jivin’. Spinnin’.

In My Ears: I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor

Game Last Played: Dragon Age: Origins

Movie Last Viewed: Spiderman the new one.

Latest Artistic Project: In progress!

Latest Release: “Fangs and Formaldehyde” from the New Hero anthology through Stone Skin Press

Gangnam Lo Pan Style. Hee.

Yes, the past few days have been an exercise in blogging philosophy. Enough with the thinking! Away with the thought police! Ban the Care Bear Stare! I give you, the one. . .the only. . . Lo Pan Style (Gangnam Style Parody).

While I’m quite certain you’ve already seen this, WATCH IT AGAIN!

Mood: Badly quoting Big Trouble In Little China. What of it?

Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: I need me a Rayden. (Wrong movie.)

Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: BENDY TWISTY THINGS.

In My Ears: Lo Pan. Duh.

Game Last Played: Dragon Age: Origins

Movie Last Viewed: Spiderman the new one.

Latest Artistic Project: In progress!

Latest Release: “Fangs and Formaldehyde” from the New Hero anthology through Stone Skin Press

Seriously, Ladies. A Discussion About Clothes.

Writing The Red Door has forced me to examine feminist issues I normally take for granted. There are a few pieces, like sexuality, which are embedded beneath the plot. Or, in other words, it’s not a story about feminist issues but I felt forced to address them because of the story. And that, as they say, is all I’ll say about the writing portion.

One of the issues that came up is the difference between what we, women, feel we have to do to make ourselves attractive to the opposite (or even same) sex in a traditional sense. And, on the flip side, what we stereotype or envision our potential partner feels is attractive.

Sexuality? Really? Yes, really. This is often where I feel the arguments for/against make-up, for/against dressing in revealing clothes, for/against wearing something other than sweat pants all day comes into play. And, many times, it’s based on stereotypes of mate attraction rather than what women really dress up for. It’s a fascinating issue, really, which is part of why I’m exploring this with you today. (Please understand, too, that I’m *trying* my best to not define a woman’s sexuality as “just” woman-man here. I may not have succeeded in all concepts, so forgive me.)

When I was younger, sure, there was the recommended attire to go out to a bar. Girls would wear the black body suits and tight jeans; the guys would wear flannel or polos. Sometimes I went with the flow; often I didn’t. Now-a-days it’s the daily wear of Ugg boots with the sweat pants or tights tucked in and the baggy sweatshirts and the variety of 80s or vintage attire — but almost always, almost always, clothing had something to do with how visible one was to a potential mate and what social tier/group/class you belonged to. For me, the only uniform I have now is the one I put on because I want to. (Once I figured that out, it was very freeing to be able to do that in all situations.) Mind you, I still consider myself to love fashion, perhaps even more than most, because if I gotta wear clothes, might as well like and appreciate ‘em — especially the ones I feel look good on me.

As I write this story, I’m also exploring the possibility that for some? Clothing is also worn as a shield to avoid getting hit on, to be protected from potential threats. (For example, when I used to drive alone at night, I’d often wear a baseball cap to hide the fact I was female.) In some cases, yes, women are afraid and I think it’s something that isn’t really talked about very often. I feel this underlying fear is what’s causing new and interesting discussions of sexual harassment — sometimes at cons, sure, but also at work and whatnot. How scary is it, after all, to be in a position where you could die if you didn’t abort and be told that you have no control over your own body? (That happened not too long ago, too.) How frightening to think that you’ll be labeled a whistle-blower and unhireable because you didn’t want to constantly hear about how tight your abs were? Or how big your boobs were? Or how you weren’t attractive enough?

I have to wonder if the issue is exacerbated by the social acceptance that comes from sexy women’s attire/poses often lauded in the media. We see people whose careers are based on how in shape they are; so many believe that they have to be them in order to be attractive or desirable. (Which isn’t realistic at all.) So some women just give up after a while because they don’t have to dress up anymore; they have a husband or wife, right? They had the career and maybe they’re working-from-home now. (Mind you, what clothing women wear is cultural, too, depending upon where you live in the country and in the rest of the world.) Well, they got their “mate” and now they don’t have to dress to impress anymore. Or maybe they’re too tired to always dress up or nicely (a sign of depression/low self-esteem in some cases). Or they can’t afford good-fitting clothes. Or they are too proud to fit their current body shape.

The idea that clothing is worn specifically to attract a mate is very interesting to me from a storytelling perspective. We’ve lost a lot of other “mating rituals” over the past century. I think one of the ones that survived is the “ring” in the sense that it’s a promise of a deeper commitment, but there really isn’t anything outside of that to my recollection and even that’s not a requirement anymore. Still, wearing an outfit “to” signal you’re available fascinates me — because that’s assuming a LOT about women and a LOT about potential partners, too — especially since the “rules” of what’s proper to wear are so relaxed now. Remember, jeans started out as tent material and were only worn on farms. Sweatpants were for sweatin’ in. Not anymore!

Makes you think, doesn’t it? Why women wear what we do and how it relates to what we feel about ourselves, the Tango of Looooove, and social pressure? Be interesting to hear your thoughts, below. If we get a good discussion going, I’ll follow-up with another post about this.

Cheers!

Mood: Back hurty.

Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Caffeinatin’ on up!

Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: A walk. Some necessary housework.

In My Ears: Body Paint from the Buffy soundtrack.

Game Last Played: Dragon Age: Origins

Movie Last Viewed: Spiderman the new one.

Latest Artistic Project: In progress!

Latest Release: “Fangs and Formaldehyde” from the New Hero anthology through Stone Skin Press

Post-Script to What I Want From Us Geeks

The post-script to “What I Want From Us Geeks” is that more than a few have mentioned how geeks are regular people so we can expect more behavior like this. Well, then I ask: “What makes us different?” And: “Then why the Speshul Snoflake attitude?”

That’s not the reason for this post today, however. Nope! You see, I know we’re not that different from football fans or survivalists or broom collectors or cross-stitching fanatics. . . But many of my fellow geeks believe that we are. The point behind Speak Out With Your Geek Out was to promote (shockingly enough) tolerance in a subtle way by means of respect. By listening to one another and being enthusiastic about what we were into, we really did blow down the barriers of what we thought geeks were. The “kid-in-the-corner” crap we feel, then, became a side effect to the fact that maybe, just maybe, feeling like we’re “the only one” is what causes self-labeling (or even when others use hurtful words) in the first place.

Well, obviously some people do want to feel like they’re the only one and it’s scarier not to feel special because you’re passionate about “X” and perhaps you’re the unique soul in your community who is. Good for you. The reality? Nigh seven billion people on the planet and even though we are all unique? Somebody is bound to have something in common with you. (Incidentally, this is one of the hardest lessons to learn as a writer. That the stories you tell may be yours and yours alone, but they’re not the greatest American life-changing Honey Boo Boo tales you think they are.)

I spent a lot of time trying to “fit in” and “be normal” I never, ever will. Never in a million years. Why? BECAUSE NORMAL IS A STATISTIC AND VISION OF HOW PEOPLE “SHOULD” BE/BEHAVE, BUT IT’S NOT WHO THEY REALLY ARE. But what I can do, is take comfort in the fact that there are people out there who not only get my dry humor, but who can finish my jokes. I have an SO who understands I don’t want flowers or diamonds — I’d rather get books, comic books, games and the like. (He also knows that I’m still the girliest Sephora/DSW/Macy’s addict this side of. . . Well, the Mississippi I suppose.) But the point is, that I’m with someone (and I choose to be around people like this) that want to be around me and who respect me for who I am. That’s my choice. When there wasn’t people like that? I went out and found them or learned how to be happy on my own. Self-rescuing princess. Right here.

(Isn’t that really what we all want, anyway? To feel connected to someone who genuinely and truly likes and appreciates us for who we are? Hard to find, sure. But it is possible.)

So I make no apologies for Speak Out With Your Geek Out. I am tired of defending the idea that it’s simply geek pride, because it’s not. During this time, what I saw on the ten thousand foot level, were people who didn’t know one another connecting and finding out that maybe, just maybe? There’s a little geek in ALL of us — regardless of whether you’re into cooking, bugs (true story, that), hunting, crocheting dinosaurs (also a true story), beading, games, comics, Harry Potter WHATEVER.

That’s what I want to focus on. Inspiration. Celebration. Fascination. Commendation. Not perspiration over some cosplayer walking into a con who we think doesn’t belong. Not degradation because all of a sudden geeks feel like our community is going to the shitter because it’s becoming more mainstream — and a thousand other negative ways we reinforce and defend the word “Geek.”

Huh. I wonder who we can inspire today?

Mood: Effing Monday. ARGH!!!

Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: If I don’t get more? I’m going to cry.

Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: I didn’t. Feeling bad about that.

In My Ears: Clannad from the Last of the Mohicans soundtrack.

Game Last Played: Dragon Age: Origins

Movie Last Viewed: Spiderman the new one.

Latest Artistic Project: In progress!

Latest Release: “Fangs and Formaldehyde” from the New Hero anthology through Stone Skin Press

What I Want From Us Geeks

I should have posted this yesterday and for that I apologize. The truth: I am feeling a touch defeated as a blogger. I’m frustrated that the social media networks are shifting again; Twitter will undergo some major changes over the next year and Facebook? Well, I’m not terribly happy with the significant decline in updates that aren’t what they deem “popular.” That means that a lot of my friends aren’t seeing my blog posts come through anymore — really, I’m not seeing anybody’s feed populate, either. This is a problem for us “little authors,” who aren’t as big as the Pratchetts and LeGuins of the world, but who are still expected/required to be online and be social. This means that eventually, as I postulated several months ago, we’ll have a media-driven internet. Le sigh. It’s a consequence of money, sure, but also too much content. And sometimes, well. . . Even I will drop my sword, look at the size of the dragon, and go: “You expect me to fight that?”

Sword is now back in my hand. And the writing is at my fingertips, too. FORTUNATELY, that is taken care of. I kicked of The Thirteen this week (likely do a longer blog post about that) and I have set deadlines for a novella and novel. (One sold, one not.) My convention schedule is a lot lighter next year so we can go overseas; work with The Muskrat and Flames Rising Press is going swimmingly. In short, my head is back where it needs to be. I got a reprieve, purged some things out of my system, and am moving forward. Only, there is one thing that I haven’t gotten rid of. Hence, my blog post today.

As evident by how many times I’ve felt obligated to write about these issues on Speak Out With Your Geek Out, I am tired of defending our community and it’s so-called geek elitism. In fact, I have come to understand that geek elitism is so bad, it’s worse than the bullying that comes from outside our community. This, more than anything, makes me incredibly sad. You see, I don’t care that we have formed alliances/groups etc. around commercial properties or that we exchange mis-quotes, dress up in costumes, or believe we can bend spoons with our minds. I don’t care that we get into fights over whether or not you’re Ravenclaw and I’m (OBVIOUSLY) Gryffindor or that I’ve been a Star Wars fan longer than you.

Those disagreements, while they can get heated, I can leave alone. Once they’re done, they’re done. What I can’t? Is when we attack one another saying shit like: “Hey you! You in the fake costume! You who can’t wear it well! YOU DON’T BELONG HERE!”

Or:

“You’re not a real fan! You’ll never feel the same way I do about Gandalf/Spiderman/Liz that I do.”

Or:

“I have a right to treat you like crap because someone treated me like shit for liking the Powerpuff Girls.”

Or:

“I have a bigger collection than you and almost went bankrupt. You don’t have a right to bitch about Marvel/Disney/WotC/Paizo/etc. I DO.”

Or:

“This is my corner of the sandbox. Only the cool kids are allowed in here.”

Sadly, that is what geek elitism is saying. It’s exactly like football elitism or knitting elitism or classical music elitism or choco-litism. We, who were all too often bullied in school for whatever reason, are telling other people that they don’t belong. That they’re not “good enough.” That their money isn’t as good as ours. That they can’t possibly feel as persecuted and blah, blah, blah as we do.

And that, my dear readers, is fucking bullshit. For a community of people who were once so willing to embrace everyone — with the caveat that often we had to identify them as “one of us” — to shit on those who want to party with us BEFORE we even get to know or talk to them? We’re not doing a very good job of explaining WHY we love what we do or sharing HOW MUCH FUN we can have.

So what do I want from us geeks. I want my fucking party back. I don’t care if this is “just the internet” or not. We were supposed to be different. We said we’d never turn into a bully, that we’d never be like them.

What happened?

I’ll tell you what I “think” happened. I think many who feel threatened by non-geeks or whatever think you’ve lost your edge, your cooly-cool cool, because now someone else can be just like you — even though that’ll never, ever happen. So a lot of folks have gotten defensive. Maybe even stood up for that asshole in your group that everyone else can’t stand, but he’s been there a while so what’s the harm? Maybe defended that girl who you know reads into everything and is pretty unhealthy, but you’ll go to bat anyway because she’s a long-standing geek and she’s earned her cred.

Being a geek has never been about doing the right thing. It’s ALWAYS been about passion. About enjoying Xena so much you want to be her. (That’s why I fell in love with Star Wars and Hellboy and Death Note and all the other crap I admire. Because I loved the stories; those tales often made me feel like even ordinary people can be heroes.) You know what I see when I look at people who dress up in costume? Brave men and women willing to throw themselves out there, regardless of what everybody else thinks. That’s what I see when I look at anyone who is so, so, so geeky about whatever it is they’re into — someone who isn’t threatened to do their thang.

Maybe being a geek should be more than a costume or a role we play or our fandom. And if it’s not? Bring on the fun, I say! Get down with your bad self. Smoke that Longbottom Leaf. Usher in the geeks, because the more of us there are? The less bullies there will be.

Or so I desperately hope, but I know won’t be the case unless we recognize we’re just as guilty as them. Love what/who you gotta love, be who you gotta be. That’s what I say. I just hope one day we’ll celebrate that instead of acting like those douchebags on the playground.

Isn’t that why we were called geeks in the first place? Because we’re not just like “them?”

Wow, what happened?

Mood: Questionable and mercurial with a side of some other -ial word.

Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: ERROR. ERROR. NEED BADLY.

Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Walk

In My Ears: I should be listening to Metallica, but I’m not.

Game Last Played: Dragon Age: Origins

Movie Last Viewed: Spiderman the new one.

Latest Artistic Project: In progress!

Latest Release: “Fangs and Formaldehyde” from the New Hero anthology through Stone Skin Press

Winning The GalleyCat Vampire Re-Mix Contest

I am pleased to announce that I am the grand prize winner in the GalleyCat Varney The Vampire Re-Mix Contest. I had an absolute blast re-writing a section of history and am honored to have been chosen. Special thanks to Jason and all the folks at a href=”http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/... for throwing this together.

If you would like to read my winning entry, you can drop by the GalleyCat Tumblr page. There will be a free eBook with ALL the creative scribings. Soon, you’ll be able to read the whole story! More to come on that.

Here’s how my portion begins:

“There is some one concealed there.”

“Marchdale” rolled his eyes. Eleven o’clock on a Saturday night. Wasn’t rehearsal over yet? “Varney’s gonna bite you. WOOOOOOOOO…”

“Pay attention, Marchdale,” Henry Bannersworth said, wagging his cane. “We film tomorrow!”

“Whatever.” Marchdale shrugged his shoulders and pulled out a flask out of his suit. “Where the hell’s George, anyway?”

“It’s his day off.” Henry smoothed out his coiffed hair. Even when they weren’t filming, the actor was such a prima donna. “Thanks for ruining the twenty-third take.”

“Can’t help it,” Marchdale whined, collapsing into an ornate chair. If he didn’t need the money, he never would have signed on for such a boring film. “Guess I’m still not feeling the creep factor.”

Bannersworth pulled out an ivory pipe and lit it. No doubt, the Victorian relic was authentic. If it wasn’t for Henry’s strong whiskey, he’d tell the jerk to save it for the camera. Hell, the actor even insisted they stay in character. What was that about?

– Behind the Scenes, GalleyCat’s Varney the Vampire Re-Mix. Written by Monica Valentinelli

Arrrrr, Thar Be An Interview (And A Career)

The folks over at Charisma Bonus interviewed me a few weeks ago, and in my haze of travel/vacation/writing/etc. I forgot to mention it. So let me rectify that right now, before I get back to my daily slog. Hop on over to The Ladies Table with Monica Valentinelli to read about my thoughts on horror, horror in gaming, and other fine inquiries.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve had the chance to right myself to center, to re-align my thoughts with my goals, and figure out what it is my original stories mean to me on the pragmatic side of the equation. And I have one word, really, to describe it: career. Applying that? Whether it’s in a part-time or full-time capacity? Means many things, since folding my original work back into what I do professionally is really just a logical progression on the stairway to heaven.

Or, to quote The Princess Bride: “Fool!” cried the hunchback. “You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is ‘Never get involved in a land war in Asia,’ but only slightly less well known is this: ‘Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.’”

Mood: Okay, I just need to out with it. I’m hungover.

Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: There really isn’t enough.

Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Groovin’ and shakin’

In My Ears: Macalania Woods Final Fantasy X-2 Soundtrack

Game Last Played: Dragon Age: Origins

Movie Last Viewed: MirrorMask

Latest Artistic Project: In progress!

Latest Release: “Fangs and Formaldehyde” from the New Hero anthology through Stone Skin Press

The Gods Help Me, I’ve Joined Tumblr

A few weeks ago, I joined Tumblr and also updated my LiveJournal account/migrated some over to Dreamwidth.

I’m not very happy with LiveJournal’s McSpam problems, for they make it difficult to interact with people and also know what to pay attention to. I’d like too figure out another place where you’d like to read my blog; after all, it’s not always easy remembering to visit somebody’s website or checking the RSS feed, such as it is. Facebook is becoming more challenging to use because it’s moving toward a pay-to-play environment and Twitter? Well, Twitter is great for bar conversations or passing somebody on the street. I rather enjoy blogging, you see, and I feel it’s a way to give you some content that’s not as ephemeral, provided my time constraints allow me to do that.

So, I’m trying Tumblr, which you can find at mlvwrites.tumblr.com. I’ve still got a touch of work to do on it, namely adding relevant pages and whatnot, but this will do for now. (I find the interface VERY gooey. . . HTML brain broken!) Right now, Tumblr’s the format that is winning out; I’m very new to this, so if you have a Tumblr join me in my insanity.

If there are other platforms you’re on, or would recommend, please comment below!

Mood: Emerging from a fog.

Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: You mean, those exist? *red face*

Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: The Airport Shuffle

In My Ears: Around The World by Red Chili Peppers

Game Last Played: Dragon Age: Origins

Movie Last Viewed: MirrorMask

Latest Artistic Project: In progress!

Latest Release: “Fangs and Formaldehyde” from the New Hero anthology through Stone Skin Press

Win Free eBooks from FlamesRising.com

A short overly-enthusiastic update today, for I am stuck in the wilds of well, the wilds and there’s really nothing to be done except write my way through it. So here goes:

Interested in free eBooks? (I hope, if you’re reading my website, that you are. . .) If you’re answer is “YES, PLEASE!” then visit this link at FlamesRising.com to add your favorite snippet of writing advice and celebrate NaNoWriMo.

There are already a few contestants who’ve proffered their glorious pieces of encouragement, but there’s still time to enter. . . The contest ends on Midnight CST, November 15th — that’s this Thursday!

Huzzah!

(Back to it then.)

Mood: Yessssssss? May I help you?

Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Ask me later.

Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Bendy, twisty-related activities.

In My Ears: You don’t want to know. Seriously.

Game Last Played: Dragon Age: Origins

Movie Last Viewed: MirrorMask

Latest Artistic Project: In progress!

Latest Release: “Fangs and Formaldehyde” from the New Hero anthology through Stone Skin Press