Michelle L. Levigne's Blog, page 190
March 10, 2011
The EPICon Diaries
Well, at least I hope so!
Hello from historic Williamsburg, VA!
Barb and I arrived last night, after a 9+ hour trip through rain and snow and constant sheets of rain thrown off of semi-trucks. I swear, every semi that could be out on the road yesterday between Cleveland and Williamsburg WAS on the road from Cleveland to Williamsburg.
The Woodlands Hotel & Suites where the conference is being held is gorgeous. Clean, comfortable rooms, nice layout, convenient. And Huzzah! pizza, just a few short steps from the door of the hotel has the best-ever vegetable pizza I have ever tasted! We walked over, watched them make it, and carried it back to our room to devour.
It was overcast and kind of drippy-chilly all day, but we walked around -- and around, and around -- historic Williamsburg most of the day. Armed with sweaters and umbrellas and sturdy walking shoes, we were ready for anything.
We started with a little orientation tour -- thanks, Lucy, for all your information and suggestions. Then we walked down the 'main drag,' to the Raleigh Tavern, where we had a fascinating little "recital," of comedy, music and dancing that theater-goers of the late 1700s would have enjoyed during scene changes. Bravo, to the re-enacters.
We visited the milliner, the silversmith, the apothecary, and had an interesting tour/lesson and tasting session at the coffee shop. 18th century-style hot chocolate is yummy. But the cups are kinda small! We also visited a lot of shops in search of souvenirs for family and friends. (No, I'm not telling you what we found!)
Barb says I must tell you about the ambush bomber rainclouds. We'd be inside a building and the drizzle would slow. As soon as we headed outside and started down the street -- downpour!
Despite all the rain -- and boy, are we grateful we brought our collapsible umbrellas! -- it's a lot better here than the weather we left behind in Ohio! Barb was texting with her sister, and she said you guys had 6-12" predicted today and tomorrow. Yuck!
At the Tarpley Store we learned an old-fashioned game called Shut the Box, and I considered a selection of tri-corn hats for my favorite nephews ... or maybe some tin flutes? How about a set of drums? No decision yet, but I hope their parents are shaking in their boots!
We also checked out the College of William and Mary Bookstore, a fascinating toy shop, and the Virginia Peanut Shop. Gotta go back there later. Too many flavors of peanuts to choose from.
We made it back to our room, wet and footsore and ready for a long nap before the mixer that will start the convention activities this evening.
Maybe tomorrow I'll have some pictures, when there's a little more sunshine to make things worthwhile. We want to check out the ghost walk, maybe the fife and drum exhibition, the wig-maker's shop, the print shop and book bindery, a court case performance.
Oh, yeah -- and attend the workshops and activities involved in EPICon. I mean, after all, that's the main reason we're here, right?
Hello from historic Williamsburg, VA!
Barb and I arrived last night, after a 9+ hour trip through rain and snow and constant sheets of rain thrown off of semi-trucks. I swear, every semi that could be out on the road yesterday between Cleveland and Williamsburg WAS on the road from Cleveland to Williamsburg.
The Woodlands Hotel & Suites where the conference is being held is gorgeous. Clean, comfortable rooms, nice layout, convenient. And Huzzah! pizza, just a few short steps from the door of the hotel has the best-ever vegetable pizza I have ever tasted! We walked over, watched them make it, and carried it back to our room to devour.
It was overcast and kind of drippy-chilly all day, but we walked around -- and around, and around -- historic Williamsburg most of the day. Armed with sweaters and umbrellas and sturdy walking shoes, we were ready for anything.
We started with a little orientation tour -- thanks, Lucy, for all your information and suggestions. Then we walked down the 'main drag,' to the Raleigh Tavern, where we had a fascinating little "recital," of comedy, music and dancing that theater-goers of the late 1700s would have enjoyed during scene changes. Bravo, to the re-enacters.
We visited the milliner, the silversmith, the apothecary, and had an interesting tour/lesson and tasting session at the coffee shop. 18th century-style hot chocolate is yummy. But the cups are kinda small! We also visited a lot of shops in search of souvenirs for family and friends. (No, I'm not telling you what we found!)
Barb says I must tell you about the ambush bomber rainclouds. We'd be inside a building and the drizzle would slow. As soon as we headed outside and started down the street -- downpour!
Despite all the rain -- and boy, are we grateful we brought our collapsible umbrellas! -- it's a lot better here than the weather we left behind in Ohio! Barb was texting with her sister, and she said you guys had 6-12" predicted today and tomorrow. Yuck!
At the Tarpley Store we learned an old-fashioned game called Shut the Box, and I considered a selection of tri-corn hats for my favorite nephews ... or maybe some tin flutes? How about a set of drums? No decision yet, but I hope their parents are shaking in their boots!
We also checked out the College of William and Mary Bookstore, a fascinating toy shop, and the Virginia Peanut Shop. Gotta go back there later. Too many flavors of peanuts to choose from.
We made it back to our room, wet and footsore and ready for a long nap before the mixer that will start the convention activities this evening.
Maybe tomorrow I'll have some pictures, when there's a little more sunshine to make things worthwhile. We want to check out the ghost walk, maybe the fife and drum exhibition, the wig-maker's shop, the print shop and book bindery, a court case performance.
Oh, yeah -- and attend the workshops and activities involved in EPICon. I mean, after all, that's the main reason we're here, right?
March 3, 2011
Pray, Jane. Pray
See Jane.
Jane is driving to church.
Jane stops at every red light and closes her eyes to pray.
Poor Jane! Almost all her prayers are, "Please, God, don't let Dr. Noway come to my church today!"
Jane is ashamed.
Jane knows this is no way for a semi-pseudo-secret agent to act. She should be stronger and braver.
She should have some faith in her supervisor, O, and her training.
She should have faith in her weapons.
Besides, her church is a big, big church, and there are lots of big men who see Jane as a little sister to look after.
(Yes, that is a very depressing thought for Jane. She doesn't mind when the husbands of her good friends treat her like a sister, but what about the single men?)
(And double yes, there are some men in her singles group she would not date if they were the last single men alive on the planet. She left her last church because they decided that being a "family-oriented church" meant everyone had to be married. Her mentor was upset that she wouldn't date his third cousin twice-removed just because he told her to. He couldn't understand why Jane was repelled by a man who only bathed once a week, had one eyebrow, and thought Benny Hill was high culture.)
"Thank You, Lord, that I am in a good church where people know that women have brains and talents and have a right to choose their own careers and lives."
Jane turns into the driveway of her church and goes around to the parking lot behind the building. She knows it is useless to try to find a parking spot near the front door on Sunday mornings. That is a good thing -- at least, she hopes it is a good thing -- that so many people come to worship.
"Miss Smythe! Miss Smythe!" two vaguely familiar little girl voices call from across the parking lot. The tapping of two sets of little feet in patent leather shoes sounds like the rattle of small-calibre gunfire on a stucco wall.
Jane freezes for two heartbeats -- which is hard to do when her heart doesn't want to beat -- then she closes her car door and turns around.
Dr. Noway's two little nieces come running across the parking lot to her. They have stopped in at the office every morning before school to say hello. For some reason, the Noway girls think Jane is their special friend.
Jane lets the little girls take her hands. The ten-year-old is Annabelle and the eight-year-old is Clarabelle. Privately, Jane is sure that Clarabelle will grow up to be just like her uncle, just because of her name. She knows that if she had been named after the clown from the Howdy-Doody Show, she would have grown up to be a psychopath. Why do parents saddle their children with terrible names?
"Good morning, Miss Smythe," Dr. Noway says. He did not appear from a black hole in the pavement, but that is how Jane feels as she turns around to see his smiling face.
"Good morning, Dr. Noway. I didn't know you were coming to my church."
Jane wonders if she will be in trouble for telling such a big lie in the church parking lot.
What will happen next? Now that Dr. Noway has found Jane at her church, how much worse can the day get?
Find out in the next episode in the continuing adventures of Bondservant. Jane Bondservant.
Jane is driving to church.
Jane stops at every red light and closes her eyes to pray.
Poor Jane! Almost all her prayers are, "Please, God, don't let Dr. Noway come to my church today!"
Jane is ashamed.
Jane knows this is no way for a semi-pseudo-secret agent to act. She should be stronger and braver.
She should have some faith in her supervisor, O, and her training.
She should have faith in her weapons.
Besides, her church is a big, big church, and there are lots of big men who see Jane as a little sister to look after.
(Yes, that is a very depressing thought for Jane. She doesn't mind when the husbands of her good friends treat her like a sister, but what about the single men?)
(And double yes, there are some men in her singles group she would not date if they were the last single men alive on the planet. She left her last church because they decided that being a "family-oriented church" meant everyone had to be married. Her mentor was upset that she wouldn't date his third cousin twice-removed just because he told her to. He couldn't understand why Jane was repelled by a man who only bathed once a week, had one eyebrow, and thought Benny Hill was high culture.)
"Thank You, Lord, that I am in a good church where people know that women have brains and talents and have a right to choose their own careers and lives."
Jane turns into the driveway of her church and goes around to the parking lot behind the building. She knows it is useless to try to find a parking spot near the front door on Sunday mornings. That is a good thing -- at least, she hopes it is a good thing -- that so many people come to worship.
"Miss Smythe! Miss Smythe!" two vaguely familiar little girl voices call from across the parking lot. The tapping of two sets of little feet in patent leather shoes sounds like the rattle of small-calibre gunfire on a stucco wall.
Jane freezes for two heartbeats -- which is hard to do when her heart doesn't want to beat -- then she closes her car door and turns around.
Dr. Noway's two little nieces come running across the parking lot to her. They have stopped in at the office every morning before school to say hello. For some reason, the Noway girls think Jane is their special friend.
Jane lets the little girls take her hands. The ten-year-old is Annabelle and the eight-year-old is Clarabelle. Privately, Jane is sure that Clarabelle will grow up to be just like her uncle, just because of her name. She knows that if she had been named after the clown from the Howdy-Doody Show, she would have grown up to be a psychopath. Why do parents saddle their children with terrible names?
"Good morning, Miss Smythe," Dr. Noway says. He did not appear from a black hole in the pavement, but that is how Jane feels as she turns around to see his smiling face.
"Good morning, Dr. Noway. I didn't know you were coming to my church."
Jane wonders if she will be in trouble for telling such a big lie in the church parking lot.
What will happen next? Now that Dr. Noway has found Jane at her church, how much worse can the day get?
Find out in the next episode in the continuing adventures of Bondservant. Jane Bondservant.
March 1, 2011
Bitter Sweet Magic at OneTrueMedia.com
My newest book trailer -- for two of my Mundania titles: Bitter Sweet, and its sequel, The Wolf That Was.
www.Mundania.com
Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com
www.Mundania.com
Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com
February 22, 2011
Divine's Emporium -- Best Book of the Year?
Please vote!!!
Every year, The Long and the Short of It likes to reward the best of the best, and this year they've let me know that my November 2010 book, Divine's Emporium , (published by Uncial Press) is eligible to participate in their "Best Book of 2010" poll. Entries in this annual poll are limited to those books and stories which theirreviewers rated as "Best Book" in a review posted in 2010.
The polls are active NOW, until Sunday, February 27.
Please check out my web site, Uncial Press, and the reviews at Long and Short, to read about Divine's Emporium -- a fantasy romance set in my new fictional town of Neighborlee, Ohio -- and VOTE!
Please?
www.Mlevigne.com
www.UncialPress.com
Every year, The Long and the Short of It likes to reward the best of the best, and this year they've let me know that my November 2010 book, Divine's Emporium , (published by Uncial Press) is eligible to participate in their "Best Book of 2010" poll. Entries in this annual poll are limited to those books and stories which theirreviewers rated as "Best Book" in a review posted in 2010.
The polls are active NOW, until Sunday, February 27.
Please check out my web site, Uncial Press, and the reviews at Long and Short, to read about Divine's Emporium -- a fantasy romance set in my new fictional town of Neighborlee, Ohio -- and VOTE!
Please?
www.Mlevigne.com
www.UncialPress.com
February 21, 2011
Book Review -- ROOMS, by Jim Rubart
ROOMS , by Jim Rubart, was the "talk" of the latest ACFW conference in Indianapolis this year. So, when I found it was available in Nook, I bought it.
(Yes, I have over 115 books in my to-be-read bookshelf, but I had a B&N gift card credit burning a hole in the ether, so ...)
What can you say about a book like this? Part "Replay," part "It's a Wonderful Life." A little downright spooky in places. It reminded me of some stories by Charles DeLint, where a fictional world is impacted by what happens in a writer's life -- and that world impacts the author.
Micah Taylor, the hero, inherits a house on the beach from a weird old uncle he never met. Just the fact the house is on the beach where his mother died when he was a child -- and his father blamed him for it -- is enough to make Micah hesitate to go down to check it out. His business partner/love interest looks up the property value and tells him to just sell it, don't waste his time checking it out. His estranged father tells him to get rid of it. Micah goes to check it out.
You'll fall in love with the story with very little effort, just like Micah falls in love/like/loathing/fascination/obsession with the house.
A place where dreams come true ... means nightmares become real, when you really think about it.
As Micah faces parts of his past he has tried to forget, and rooms appear without warning in this odd, somehow-alive house ... his life in the real world gets rewritten.
Yeah, that sounds good on the surface ... but is it? Especially when you have no control over what gets rewritten and how, and who you'll lose from your life?
Read it.
Shiver a little.
Stop and go, "Hey, yeah ..." or sometimes, "HUH!?!?"
Enjoy.
February 19, 2011
See Jane Panic
When we last visited our intrepid heroine, Jane Smythe -- aka Bondservant. Jane Bondservant -- had just received the horrific news that one of her archnemeses, Dr. Jose Noway, had joined her church. That, after Dr. Noway showed up at the small private Christian school where she works -- part-time in the front office, and part-time in the library -- and registered his nieces to attend.
Jane did what any alert, thinking woman would do when confronted with such horrific, life-altering, harbinger-of-impending-doom news: She screamed.
Primal scream therapy is, after all, a great way to clear stress compounds from the bloodstream, increase the level of oxygen in the blood and brain, and clear the sinuses.
See Jane.
Jane has gone back to work.
Fortunately for Jane, her scream of anguish and apprehension coincided with the class change bell for sixth period, which is loud enough for the gym classes out on the baseball diamond and soccer field to hear.
So no one really noticed the noise Jane made.
See Jane sit at her desk in the school library, sorting through the books that have been returned. When the fiction books are in alphabetical order, and the other books are in order by the Dewy Decimal System, she will go through the computer cataloge and mark all the books as returned. This is an easy job. As one of her good friends who edits and publishes electronic novels says, "Easy cheesy peasy."
This leaves Jane's mind free to contemplate the horrific news that her supervisor, O, gave her just a little while ago.
What is Jane going to do? Dr. Noway will see her at work when he drops off his nieces for school -- and she will see him. Dr. Noway will see her on Sunday morning when she goes to church. What if he stops in the fellowship hall to get coffee in between the service and Sunday school time? What if -- horrors! -- Dr. Noway decides to join the Singles group at her church?
For a moment there, she actually feels some sympathy for Dr. Noway, because like most churches across the country, the single women outnumber the single men ten to one -- except for the single men who migrate from one church to another, looking for a wife. Just like guys don't like girls who run around with a shopping list for the "perfect husband," girls don't like it when guys use a shopping list and measuring rod, and usually have their mother or interfering aunt following them around with a magnifying glass to focus on the girls.
Should she warn Dr. Noway? Or should she just sit back and wait for the first Sadie Hawkins event to drive him screaming into the night?
"Hey," Jane murmurs, looking up from her cataloguing work with minimal papercuts on her fingertips. "I might just do this assignment right after all."
Flashback:
After Jane screams at the news of Dr. Noway joining her church, O makes sure she has calmed down before giving her the rest of her assignment: Befriend Dr. Noway. Watch his every move. When Jane asks how in the world she can befriend her archnemesis, O says a good start is by feeling some sympathy for the misguided genius.
Just the image of Dr. Noway surviving a Singles Group event at her church does the trick -- Jane feels sorry for him.
But not enough to drive away the oogy shivers at the thought of being nice to someone who still works for B.L. Zebob Industries -- even if he did say he was trying to find another job.
What will Jane do?
Stay tuned for the next adventure of Bondservant. Jane Bondservant. Agent 777.
Jane did what any alert, thinking woman would do when confronted with such horrific, life-altering, harbinger-of-impending-doom news: She screamed.
Primal scream therapy is, after all, a great way to clear stress compounds from the bloodstream, increase the level of oxygen in the blood and brain, and clear the sinuses.
See Jane.
Jane has gone back to work.
Fortunately for Jane, her scream of anguish and apprehension coincided with the class change bell for sixth period, which is loud enough for the gym classes out on the baseball diamond and soccer field to hear.
So no one really noticed the noise Jane made.
See Jane sit at her desk in the school library, sorting through the books that have been returned. When the fiction books are in alphabetical order, and the other books are in order by the Dewy Decimal System, she will go through the computer cataloge and mark all the books as returned. This is an easy job. As one of her good friends who edits and publishes electronic novels says, "Easy cheesy peasy."
This leaves Jane's mind free to contemplate the horrific news that her supervisor, O, gave her just a little while ago.
What is Jane going to do? Dr. Noway will see her at work when he drops off his nieces for school -- and she will see him. Dr. Noway will see her on Sunday morning when she goes to church. What if he stops in the fellowship hall to get coffee in between the service and Sunday school time? What if -- horrors! -- Dr. Noway decides to join the Singles group at her church?
For a moment there, she actually feels some sympathy for Dr. Noway, because like most churches across the country, the single women outnumber the single men ten to one -- except for the single men who migrate from one church to another, looking for a wife. Just like guys don't like girls who run around with a shopping list for the "perfect husband," girls don't like it when guys use a shopping list and measuring rod, and usually have their mother or interfering aunt following them around with a magnifying glass to focus on the girls.
Should she warn Dr. Noway? Or should she just sit back and wait for the first Sadie Hawkins event to drive him screaming into the night?
"Hey," Jane murmurs, looking up from her cataloguing work with minimal papercuts on her fingertips. "I might just do this assignment right after all."
Flashback:
After Jane screams at the news of Dr. Noway joining her church, O makes sure she has calmed down before giving her the rest of her assignment: Befriend Dr. Noway. Watch his every move. When Jane asks how in the world she can befriend her archnemesis, O says a good start is by feeling some sympathy for the misguided genius.
Just the image of Dr. Noway surviving a Singles Group event at her church does the trick -- Jane feels sorry for him.
But not enough to drive away the oogy shivers at the thought of being nice to someone who still works for B.L. Zebob Industries -- even if he did say he was trying to find another job.
What will Jane do?
Stay tuned for the next adventure of Bondservant. Jane Bondservant. Agent 777.
February 9, 2011
Sigh, Jane, Sigh.
These are the continuing adventures of Bondservant. Jane Bondservant.
Her mission?
You know, honestly, she's not sure half the time..........
But she keeps moving, keeps going, keeps trying, and that's why she's the one who makes ... well, slightly better than minimum wage.
But the retirement plan is out of this world!
When we last visited Jane, she had just been contacted by her supervisor, O.
Unfortunately, Jane's boss, the headmaster of the school, came back into the office just about then, so O had to cut communication and wait until Jane's lunch break before he could fill her in on the "situation" that had just come to his attention.
See Jane work.
See Jane keep looking at the clock.
Why does the clock move so very, very slowly, Jane?
Jane does not hate her job.
Jane loves her job -- most of the time. But today Jane has many other things on her mind. What horrific news will O give her, when they are able to talk again?
And why, oh why, did Jane have to pack a bologna and mustard sandwich and a stale granola bar for her lunch? Combining those foods with O's news would be sure to give her indigestion!
While she waits for the minute hand to slowly, excruciatingly climb around the clock to 1:30 (Yeah, Jane has a late lunch hour -- don't complain! It means her afternoon is really short!), Jane thinks about her recent encounter with Dr. Jose Noway.
He certainly seemed sincere, when he asked for help in finding a new job, so he could quit working for B.L. Zebob Industries. Then again, what if he just wanted access to the job search resources that Jane's school provided for families of its students? What if he had decided to downsize his nefarious schemes, and instead of destroying major defensive installations and steal life-altering information ... he just wanted to bomb some Mom-and-Pop stores and small-town businesses?
(Yeah, that sounded a little lame to Jane, too, as soon as she thought of it.)
Finally her lunch break comes. She takes her squashed, many-times-used paper lunch bag outside to sit on the park bench in the sunshine in front of the school. That is another benefit of a late lunch hour -- no fighting over the park bench on nice, sunshiny, warm days. Jane is no fool!
"Hello, Jane." O is there on her phone's video screen as soon as she opens it to call him. Jane still can't figure out how he can do that -- or appear on her computer screen. She supposes that is why O is the boss -- he can do the almost-nearly-impossible.
"What's the situation, O? I don't feel good leaving town while Dr. Noway is lurking around. He's actually sending his nieces to my school! That can't be good."
"Dr. Noway IS your situation, Jane." O pauses and studies her until she feels kind of itchy and fidgety. Mostly because Jane knows the camera isn't that good on her phone, and it makes her skin look green.
"My situation?" she finally says, and is glad she hasn't eaten her sandwich yet. Maybe she should go to the vending machine in the cafeteria and get some yogurt and some soda crackers for her stomach.
"Dr. Noway ... brace yourself, Agent 777 ... Dr. Noway has joined your church."
Jane's scream sends all the birds from their perches throughout the entire county, and stops just short of setting off the fire alarm in the school.
What will Jane do?
How can she let Dr. Noway invade her church?
Why did Dr. Noway join her church? What can his nefarious plot BE?
Will she have to pay to wash all those cars that were bombed by frightened birds?
Find out in the next adventure of Bondservant. Jane Bondservant.
Her mission?
You know, honestly, she's not sure half the time..........
But she keeps moving, keeps going, keeps trying, and that's why she's the one who makes ... well, slightly better than minimum wage.
But the retirement plan is out of this world!
When we last visited Jane, she had just been contacted by her supervisor, O.
Unfortunately, Jane's boss, the headmaster of the school, came back into the office just about then, so O had to cut communication and wait until Jane's lunch break before he could fill her in on the "situation" that had just come to his attention.
See Jane work.
See Jane keep looking at the clock.
Why does the clock move so very, very slowly, Jane?
Jane does not hate her job.
Jane loves her job -- most of the time. But today Jane has many other things on her mind. What horrific news will O give her, when they are able to talk again?
And why, oh why, did Jane have to pack a bologna and mustard sandwich and a stale granola bar for her lunch? Combining those foods with O's news would be sure to give her indigestion!
While she waits for the minute hand to slowly, excruciatingly climb around the clock to 1:30 (Yeah, Jane has a late lunch hour -- don't complain! It means her afternoon is really short!), Jane thinks about her recent encounter with Dr. Jose Noway.
He certainly seemed sincere, when he asked for help in finding a new job, so he could quit working for B.L. Zebob Industries. Then again, what if he just wanted access to the job search resources that Jane's school provided for families of its students? What if he had decided to downsize his nefarious schemes, and instead of destroying major defensive installations and steal life-altering information ... he just wanted to bomb some Mom-and-Pop stores and small-town businesses?
(Yeah, that sounded a little lame to Jane, too, as soon as she thought of it.)
Finally her lunch break comes. She takes her squashed, many-times-used paper lunch bag outside to sit on the park bench in the sunshine in front of the school. That is another benefit of a late lunch hour -- no fighting over the park bench on nice, sunshiny, warm days. Jane is no fool!
"Hello, Jane." O is there on her phone's video screen as soon as she opens it to call him. Jane still can't figure out how he can do that -- or appear on her computer screen. She supposes that is why O is the boss -- he can do the almost-nearly-impossible.
"What's the situation, O? I don't feel good leaving town while Dr. Noway is lurking around. He's actually sending his nieces to my school! That can't be good."
"Dr. Noway IS your situation, Jane." O pauses and studies her until she feels kind of itchy and fidgety. Mostly because Jane knows the camera isn't that good on her phone, and it makes her skin look green.
"My situation?" she finally says, and is glad she hasn't eaten her sandwich yet. Maybe she should go to the vending machine in the cafeteria and get some yogurt and some soda crackers for her stomach.
"Dr. Noway ... brace yourself, Agent 777 ... Dr. Noway has joined your church."
Jane's scream sends all the birds from their perches throughout the entire county, and stops just short of setting off the fire alarm in the school.
What will Jane do?
How can she let Dr. Noway invade her church?
Why did Dr. Noway join her church? What can his nefarious plot BE?
Will she have to pay to wash all those cars that were bombed by frightened birds?
Find out in the next adventure of Bondservant. Jane Bondservant.
January 28, 2011
Think, Jane. Think!
When we last left our intrepid heroine, she was nonplussed (no, that doesn't mean she was subtracting, but she was confused. What? You don't like big, $10 words? And what's wrong with expanding your vocabulary? Better your vocabulary than your ... ahem ... dimensions.)
And what, pray tell, had Jane so confused?
See Jane stare.
See Jane watch Dr. Noway leave the school with his cute little nieces.
Yes, they are real nieces.
They are not cute little girl robots with bombs inside them.
Jane is very confused.
Dr. Noway has never gone into a place that belongs to the "good guys," such as a school or church or library and (perhaps) most government buildings and NOT tried to blow it up.
That's just the way he is.
Today, Dr. Noway has behaved very differently from his normal patterns.
What is Jane going to do?
Should she have checked for lobotomy scars on Dr. Noway before he left?
Has he been hypnotized?
She knows this is real life, and even though it is very nice that three cute little girls changed Mr. Gru, (see: Despicable Me) (No, I'm serious, SEE the movie!) it could not happen here, in Smalltown, U.S.A.
"Oh, I am so confused," says Jane.
"Yes, 777, I've noticed that about you," says a voice coming from her computer.
"Who's there?" Jane reaches for her super-stunner, and realizes yet again that it is packed away where she can't get at it.
The problem is, the holster for her super-stunner doesn't go with her outfit. She really needs to get a new one, or find a weapon she can carry in her pocket without putting unsightly bulges in her clothes.
"It's O," says the voice coming from her computer.
Jane walks over to her computer, and there is the face of her supervisor. O.
(Even though O looks like Keenan Wynne, he isn't a nasty old curmudgeon trying to take over the world by cheating nice but slightly daffy people, like in the old-style Disney movies.)
"But I didn't call you," Jane says.
"Yes, you did."
"No, I didn't."
"Yes, you did."
"But -- "
"Yes, you did," O says gently, but starting to sound somewhat peeved. (For those of you with teeny vocabularies, that means HACKED OFF!) "You said, 'O, I'm so confused.' So you did call me, 777."
"Well, I guess so, but I didn't mean to call you. And I certainly didn't expect you to answer."
"Get used to it, 777. We have a situation."
"You're telling me."
What is the situation Jane Bondservant and her supervisor O face now?
Stay tuned for more of the continuing adventures of Bondservant. Jane Bondservant.
And what, pray tell, had Jane so confused?
See Jane stare.
See Jane watch Dr. Noway leave the school with his cute little nieces.
Yes, they are real nieces.
They are not cute little girl robots with bombs inside them.
Jane is very confused.
Dr. Noway has never gone into a place that belongs to the "good guys," such as a school or church or library and (perhaps) most government buildings and NOT tried to blow it up.
That's just the way he is.
Today, Dr. Noway has behaved very differently from his normal patterns.
What is Jane going to do?
Should she have checked for lobotomy scars on Dr. Noway before he left?
Has he been hypnotized?
She knows this is real life, and even though it is very nice that three cute little girls changed Mr. Gru, (see: Despicable Me) (No, I'm serious, SEE the movie!) it could not happen here, in Smalltown, U.S.A.
"Oh, I am so confused," says Jane.
"Yes, 777, I've noticed that about you," says a voice coming from her computer.
"Who's there?" Jane reaches for her super-stunner, and realizes yet again that it is packed away where she can't get at it.
The problem is, the holster for her super-stunner doesn't go with her outfit. She really needs to get a new one, or find a weapon she can carry in her pocket without putting unsightly bulges in her clothes.
"It's O," says the voice coming from her computer.
Jane walks over to her computer, and there is the face of her supervisor. O.
(Even though O looks like Keenan Wynne, he isn't a nasty old curmudgeon trying to take over the world by cheating nice but slightly daffy people, like in the old-style Disney movies.)
"But I didn't call you," Jane says.
"Yes, you did."
"No, I didn't."
"Yes, you did."
"But -- "
"Yes, you did," O says gently, but starting to sound somewhat peeved. (For those of you with teeny vocabularies, that means HACKED OFF!) "You said, 'O, I'm so confused.' So you did call me, 777."
"Well, I guess so, but I didn't mean to call you. And I certainly didn't expect you to answer."
"Get used to it, 777. We have a situation."
"You're telling me."
What is the situation Jane Bondservant and her supervisor O face now?
Stay tuned for more of the continuing adventures of Bondservant. Jane Bondservant.
January 26, 2011
Book Review -- THE GREEN VEIL, Empire in Pine book One, by Naomi Musch
THE GREEN VEIL, Empire in Pine Book One, by Naomi Musch
January 2011 release from Desert Breeze Publishing
Lovely, soft, quiet in some ways. Gritty and painful in others.
"Real" is an over-used word, in some ways. But it feels real -- the people are real, their trials and tribulations and problems and joys and sorrows and bad choices and triumphs.
Real.
An interesting view of the pioneering/growth days of Wisconsin and the logging industry. I just never thought that lumberjacks and the lumber industry would make an interesting backdrop for a romance. Naomi carried it off.
Hmm, but the funny thing is, I DID love "Here Come the Brides." (Does that date me, or what?)
(And it wasn't because of Bobby Sherman, either. I didn't even know who he was!)
I recommend this book -- and I'm not really a fan or ardent reader of historical fiction. I knew Naomi was doing a great job with her characters when I was gritting my teeth and muttering, "You dummy, don't do that!"
She made me care. When I had a dozen other things to do in the day, I always made sure I read a few chapters of the book, because I wanted to know what Colette and Manason were going to do next!
Colette and her family headed into the vast, pine wilderness, leaving behind their friends and the boy she loved -- but who certainly didn't seem to realize it! He had dreams of making his fortune in the lumber business, of traveling and seeing and doing -- certainly not of settling down and being domesticated.
Years later, after some bad choices, after the mistakes and carelessness, schemes and selfishness of others got in their way ... well, you'll just have to read the book. They certainly earn their happy ending!
Good job, Naomi!
January 20, 2011
Hide, Jane. Hide!
Welcome to our third ultra-short episode of the adventures of Bondservant. Jane Bondservant.
When we last saw Jane, she was at the front desk of the small private school where she works, when in walked Dr. Jose Noway ... and two little girls he wanted to register to attend there.
See Jane scratch her head.
Jane is confused.
Then Jane is relieved.
Dr. Noway does not recognize her.
(Will wonders never cease? Her friend at the makeup counter at Macy's was right -- a new blush and different shade of lipstick, and she's a new woman.)
Jane thinks about the little girls. They are so cute, she just wants to bend down and hug them.
(Two things stop Jane:
First, she would not put it past Dr. Noway to hide bombs inside little robots disguised as adorable little girls, in the hopes that someone would hug them and blow themselves up.
And second -- Jane is in another room, pretending to look for the paperwork to register the little girls to attend her school.)
It is very hard not to push the master control for the fire alarm system for the whole school. Jane thinks about all the innocent (or not so innocent -- don't let those plaid skirts, bobby socks, bowties and other parts of a standard school uniform fool you into thinking the inside matches the outside) students working hard (or hardly working) at their desks.
Jane would like to push the button and send everyone running out of the school, because she would not put it past Dr. Noway to set off a bomb at any moment.
However, she knows she cannot believe Dr. Noway, and he might just be pretending not to recognize her. He could have come into the school deliberately to frighten her into pushing the fire alarm and send all the students running out of the school, to embarrass Jane and get her in trouble with her boss. A big, balding man with no sense of humor, who thinks women should only wear long sweaters and skirts down to their ankles and never jeans, and who believes fiction of any kind (especially movies and TV and romance) is an invention of the devil.
Then Jane gets an idea. A wonderful idea. She knows Dr. Noway could never answer one specific question -- and if he does not answer the question, he cannot put the little girls into Jane's school.
"We need to know your employer's name," Jane says, coming back to the counter with a stack of paperwork thick enough to choke two mules.
"My employer?"
Jane is very happy to see panic and -- very strange -- shame gleam in Dr. Noway's eyes.
"I am sorry," Dr. Noway says.
Jane fights not to smile. She waits for Dr. Noway to take the little girls and leave the school. Success! She has driven one of her arch-enemies out of the school without endangering the students or hitting the fire alarm.
"I am sorry to say, I am currently working for B.L. Zebob Industries. But I am looking for a new job," Dr. Noway quickly adds.
"B.L. Zebob Industries?" Jane thinks she is about to faint.
This is worse than if Dr. Noway had ten cute little girl bombs with him!
What will Jane do?
Stay tuned for the next episode of the continuing adventures of Bondservant. Jane Bondservant.
When we last saw Jane, she was at the front desk of the small private school where she works, when in walked Dr. Jose Noway ... and two little girls he wanted to register to attend there.
See Jane scratch her head.
Jane is confused.
Then Jane is relieved.
Dr. Noway does not recognize her.
(Will wonders never cease? Her friend at the makeup counter at Macy's was right -- a new blush and different shade of lipstick, and she's a new woman.)
Jane thinks about the little girls. They are so cute, she just wants to bend down and hug them.
(Two things stop Jane:
First, she would not put it past Dr. Noway to hide bombs inside little robots disguised as adorable little girls, in the hopes that someone would hug them and blow themselves up.
And second -- Jane is in another room, pretending to look for the paperwork to register the little girls to attend her school.)
It is very hard not to push the master control for the fire alarm system for the whole school. Jane thinks about all the innocent (or not so innocent -- don't let those plaid skirts, bobby socks, bowties and other parts of a standard school uniform fool you into thinking the inside matches the outside) students working hard (or hardly working) at their desks.
Jane would like to push the button and send everyone running out of the school, because she would not put it past Dr. Noway to set off a bomb at any moment.
However, she knows she cannot believe Dr. Noway, and he might just be pretending not to recognize her. He could have come into the school deliberately to frighten her into pushing the fire alarm and send all the students running out of the school, to embarrass Jane and get her in trouble with her boss. A big, balding man with no sense of humor, who thinks women should only wear long sweaters and skirts down to their ankles and never jeans, and who believes fiction of any kind (especially movies and TV and romance) is an invention of the devil.
Then Jane gets an idea. A wonderful idea. She knows Dr. Noway could never answer one specific question -- and if he does not answer the question, he cannot put the little girls into Jane's school.
"We need to know your employer's name," Jane says, coming back to the counter with a stack of paperwork thick enough to choke two mules.
"My employer?"
Jane is very happy to see panic and -- very strange -- shame gleam in Dr. Noway's eyes.
"I am sorry," Dr. Noway says.
Jane fights not to smile. She waits for Dr. Noway to take the little girls and leave the school. Success! She has driven one of her arch-enemies out of the school without endangering the students or hitting the fire alarm.
"I am sorry to say, I am currently working for B.L. Zebob Industries. But I am looking for a new job," Dr. Noway quickly adds.
"B.L. Zebob Industries?" Jane thinks she is about to faint.
This is worse than if Dr. Noway had ten cute little girl bombs with him!
What will Jane do?
Stay tuned for the next episode of the continuing adventures of Bondservant. Jane Bondservant.
