Rod White's Blog, page 52

Holding Hands

"[E]ven seeming emptiness is not sterile. In the times of waiting, it is enough if we do nothing more than sit with the birthgiver, offering a hand to be held." – Margaret Guenther

God is so filled with love that he is repeatedly born in the empty, welcoming space of the soul. You can see that as a vision of eternal fertility. Or you can see it as an invitation to further tragedy as new life is aborted 1000 times a day and wasted. But, the truth is, the emptiness is teeming with life. Whether life-receiving or life-rejecting, we are not vacuums, even when we act vacuously.

We could miss the life. I walked out of Morning Glory and said, "That movie was charming and meant nothing." But Gwen immediately and appropriately corrected me. "What do you mean? That movie was about staying with someone and hoping for change." It dawned on me that, "I am Rachel McAdams having a moment of self-loathing as I leave the theater!"

Rachel is the struggling producer of a morning TV show. Harrison Ford is the curmudgeonly has-been anchor subjected to her care. With perpetual perkiness, indefatigability and hope, Rachel wins him over, saves the show, proves mom wrong about disrespecting her dreams, makes New York seem friendly and gets the supposedly hunky guy (although I wasn't seeing the purported hotness, there).  

On the other hand, we could pretend that cobbled-together plots like that bear some resemblance to reality. As I walked out of Morning Glory, my first reaction was ungenerous and narrow, but it was not totally wrong. I laughed. I teared up. I enjoyed Rachel running in slow motion past Prometheus in Rockefeller Plaza. But at some point, I had to hit my head and say, "What do you mean? She found an apartment in Manhattan in one-morning! She meets a guy and after one page of dialogue they have passionate sex! Jeff Goldblum was cast! Real life is not like what rich people fret about in New York!" The movie is purposeful delusion. It is systematically giving birth to wind

So, as usual, there was birth planted in its emptiness. But, in the end, I think the life of God was aborted. So, as usual, my reaction was right and wrong. So I am glad to remember the original quote up top. It is probably the wisest response, most of the time, to patiently wait for anything that can be born to be born.   

I want to spend this week holding hands with people as they are giving spiritual birth. If they give birth to wind, may I hold their hand again when the next spiritual pregnancy comes to fruit. Even the movies are clamoring for morning glory. I think it is up to me to see that yearning as an emptiness waiting to be filled by God. When the smallest bump can be seen, or even the discomfort of being sick with something that isn't recognized as something, yet, it is good for me to sit and hold someone's hand. I'm not sure what will be born, or not. But my comforting presence given freely to those making their fear-filled journey through the big city is not useless.

Development

All weekend I talked about development — and I am not just talking about the in-town retreat the Leadership Team held with the discerning group to map out 2011 for Circle of Hope! No, I live in the Philadelphia region and we talk about development all the time: from what's happening in the casino district in Fishtown to the amazing speculation going on from Washington to Wharton in Point Breeze, from the big ideas happening in southwest Germantown exemplified by the Kroc Center and the eviction notices given  to the people in the tower at Queen Lane to the changes on 52nd St. with the influx of new home owners pushing out from University City. South of Temple is not what it used to be! The Riverfront Prison site in Camden might get used well! The South St. bridge reopened! It is exciting.

Development happens. Sometimes it is for the good. Much of the time it is the same old injustice in new clothes. Regardless, the church needs to develop along with it. I was talking to a new friend in the Kimball St. Garden this weekend who said visiting St. Peter's in Rome was the straw that broke the camel's back of his faith. He gave it up when he saw that piece of development. I felt him big time. When I was there a few years ago I asked God for an earthquake. That is the worst piece of advertising for Jesus in history. God becomes a baby to meet us person to person and the church advertises him with an overwhelming building designed to make you feel small and powerless in the presence of God (and the pope)!

In most of Philly's neighborhoods there are further shrines to the church's pride and power housing congregations who are trying to figure out how to stay afloat and become useful in their developing neighborhoods. I told the man I was getting to know that he could come see us in our room over a check-cashing store if he ever felt like experiencing an alternative. He said he might show up. But I am not too heartened that Circle of Hope's big contribution might be to provide a corrective for something done in 1626! We have our own development to consider!

This weekend we were considering our development in our developing region, and it wasn't that easy. The pastors put out some ideas that seemed to come from the best parts of our discernment process including slight changes to our basic identity statements. I was surprised at how much dialogue we need about it all. Change is not easy! There were two ideas, especially, that must feel like tearing down the Queen Lane public housing tower for people. They want it gone, but they aren't sure it doesn't mean something important is going to be lost.

I guess I am like a "developer," God help me. I don't need change for change's sake, but I think things can improve. When it comes to developing Circle of Hope, for instance, I think we should admit that we are diverse in race, class, background and location and stop talking about ourselves as if we are trying to become that. We became that. Now let's keep the heart of who we are and move on to what is next. Personally, I am not going to give up on any aspect of the work of reconciliation until I die. I want to keep overcoming the racist divides of our country (as were easily seen in the last election when Obama got his white backlash, even if no one will admit that), and I will keep being a proactive peacemaker (the need for such was also evident after the election when not one candidate on election eve mentioned the war in Afghanistan as a big deal to them). I think reconciliation is basic Christianity and I am not aspiring to it, I am it. I think we worked reconciliation into our DNA; we have it in our proverbs and mission teams. Let's not talk about doing it as if it is still in question. Lets be it.

For another less tangible thing, I think we, as Circle of Hope, should admit that we met all our goals for development as an institution and now we should act like we are developed. We are four congregations, nearly 50 cells, four pastors, lead by  20-person leadership team, served by three staff people. We have two profitable thrift stores and a counseling center. We have compassion teams that many people consider radical. We need to get our minds around that and imagine what is next as that new entity. Let's express ourselves as who we are now and stop dragging ourselves back into some nostalgic small thing. When we were a small thing, we dreamed of becoming who we are now (for anyone who just tuned in, we are just about what we were dreaming about). Let's have the dreams of what a Circle of Hope that exists now would dream! This requires some maturity, of course. The people getting pushed out of North Philly into the lower Northeast and out of West Philly and South Philly into Southwest are just moving with the flow. They don't create much flow. A lot of churches in town (like some churches on the street with BW) seem to be holding on as long as they can to what used to be great as the world changes around them. We were not created for that.

I am not up for not developing. Jesus is the source of a renewed imagination. Jesus continually renews our strength so we can face what is, now. I think he finds it exciting to work for redemption in the latest thing that has developed with the latest church he has developed. Let's keep up.

Poetry in the Face of Power

Several people asked me for a reprint of the poem I quoted last night, so I thought I'd offer it to everyone.

Creating is a sure way to reveal the creator; the creator reveals himself in our creativity. By re-imagining the world for everyone whose imagination has be re-organized by the domination system, we help restore the broken image of God we carry.

The poem is a "targum" by Brian Walsh and Sylvia C. Keesmaat from their book Colossians Remixed based on the following "poem" by the Apostle Paul (or one of his friends) included in his letter to the church in Colossae.

He is the image

of the invisible God,

the firstborn over all creation.

For by him all things were created:

things in heaven and on earth,

visible and invisible,

whether thrones or powers

or rulers or authorities;

all things were created by him and for him.

He is before all things,

and in him all things hold together.

And he is the head

of the body, the church;

he is the beginning

and the firstborn from among the dead,

so that in everything he might have the supremacy.

For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him,

and through him to reconcile to himself all things,

whether things on earth or things in heaven,

by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

Colossians 1:15-20

Here is the expansion on Paul's poem, designed to help us re-imagine with him for our time. I've made a few edits.

In an image-saturated world,

     a world of ubiquitous corporate logos

          permeating our consciousness

     a world of dehydrated and captive imaginations

          in which we are too numbed, satiated and co-opted

          to be able to dream of life otherwise

     a world in which the empire of global economic affluence

          has achieved the monopoly of our imaginations

     in this world

Christ is the image of the invisible God

     in this world

          driven by images with a vengeance

Christ is the image par excellence

     the image above all other images

     the image the is not a facade

     the image that is not trying to sell us anything

     the image that refuses to co-opt us 

Christ is the image of the invisible God

     the image of God

          a flesh-and-blood

          here-and-now

          in time and history

          with joys and sorrows

          image of who God is

     the image of God

          a flesh-and-blood

          here-and-now

          in time and history

          with joys and sorrows

          image of who we are called to be

               image-bearers of this God.

He is the source of a liberated imagination

     a subversion of the empire

because it all starts with him

and it all ends with him

          everything

          all things

     whatever you can imagine

          visible and invisible

          mountains and atoms

          outer space, urban space, cyberspace

          whether it is the Pentagon, Disneyland, Microsoft or Comcast

          whether it be the institutionalized power structures

          of the state, the academy or the market

     all things have been created in him and through him

he is their source, their purpose, their goal

          even in their rebellion

          even in their idolatry

     he is the sovereign one

          their power and authority is derived at best

               parasitic at worst

In the face of the empire

     in the face of presumptuous claims to sovereignty

     in the face of the imperial and idolatrous forces of our lives

          Christ is before all things

               he is sovereign in life

               not pimped dreams of global market

               not the idolatrous forces of nationalism

               not the insatiable desires of consumerist culture

In the face of a disconnected world

     where home is a domain in virtuality

     where neighborhood is a common "like" on Facebook

     where public space is a shopping mall

     where information technology promises

     a webbed-in, reconnected world

          all things hold together in Christ

               the creation is a deeply personal cosmos

               all cohering and interconnected in Jesus.

And this sovereignty takes on cultural flesh

And this coherence of all things is socially embodied

     in the church

          against all odds

          against most of the evidence

In a "show me" culture where words don't cut it

          the church is  

               the flesh-and-blood

               here-and-now

               in time and history

               with joys and sorrows

               embodiment of this Christ

          as a body politic

          around a common meal

          in alternative economic practices

          in radical service to the most vulnerable

          in refusal of the empire

          in love of this creation

                the church re-imagines the world

                in the image of the invisible God.

In the face of a disappointed world of betrayal

     a world in which all fixed points have proven illusory

     a world in which we are anchorless and adrift

          Christ is the foundation

               the origin

               the way

               the truth

               the life

In the face of a culture of death

     a world of killing fields

     a world of the walking dead

          Christ is the head of the resurrection parade

               transforming our tears of betrayal into tears of joy

               giving us dancing shoes for the resurrection party

And this glittering joker

     who has danced in the dragon jaws of death

     now dances with a dance that is full

     of nothing less than the fullness of God

          this is the dance of the new creation

          this is the dance of life out of death

          and in this dance all that was broken

               all that was estranged

               all that was alienated

               all that was dislocated and disconnected

               what once was hurt

               what once was friction

                    is reconciled

                    comes home

                    is healed

                    and is made whole

               because Grace makes beauty out of ugly things

          everything

          all things

           whatever you can imagine

          visible and invisible

          mountains and atoms

          outer space, urban space, cyberspace

          every inch of creation

          every dimension of our lives

     all things are reconciled in him.

And it all happens on a cross

     it all happens at a state execution

          where the governor did not commute the sentence

     it all happens at the hands of an empire

          that has captured our imagination

     it all happens through blood

          not through a power grab by the sovereign one

     it all happens in embraced pain

          for the sake of others

     it all happens on a cross

          arms outstretched in embrace

     and this is the image of the invisible God

          this is the body of Christ

It's Not the Same Anymore

When Ben Rosenbach's best man got up to offer the traditional toast at his wedding reception the other night, his childhood friend burst into tears and had a difficult time becoming composed enough to say anything. All his good memories of his youth with Ben met with the joy of this experience his best friend was having — it was a collision of grief, joy and surprise. His point was that Ben is full of love and truth and his character will be a blessing to Megan. But there were many other things swirling inside him other than his point. He found himself in the middle of a moment of change — for Ben and for him. He was sure Ben would bring all the good things of their past as backyard buddies into the future, but the future was not going to be the same as the past.

As I watched that in the beautified Broad and Washington space, I couldn't help but think that many people who worship together there are having similar feelings as they watch Circle of Hope move into the future. They have a lot of very fond memories of the church's childhood and now it is not the same anymore — and it is not going to be the same. They know we are taking all the good things we became in our past into the future. But our future is not going to be the same as our past.

One of the members of my Coordinating Group told the other cell leaders in the group last week that every time he hears Rod talk about "what's next" he winces — and I talk about that a lot. It is one of our distinctives as a church to "move with what the Spirit is doing next." It's a whole chapter in the book I was assigned to write! I have to admit, that some days I feel so bad about making someone wince that I wince when I talk about what's next too! It is good news that God has redeemed us and is making us new. But sometimes all that changing feels like bad news.

We made one big decision when we organized as Circle of Hope and we have always reaffirmed it. We decided to be one church in many locations. We are intentionally multi-celled – as a network of cell groups and as collections of cells forming congregations that are joined as a network. This was not too hard to deal with when we were a mother congregation and a flourishing daughter. Now we are four congregations and many years down the road. No one can really know everyone. Most people don't have a good idea of our history. It is difficult to put one's mind around everything that happens in a week. As a result, for some people, "It is not the same anymore." And for the last 100 new people who entered when it was as it is, it never was "the way it used to be."

I bring this up because I think we are all facing a big challenge right now. I can see it in the discerning process, and I could feel it last year, too. It takes a very mature group of believers to stay engaged with the big possibilities we face. While we will always have the joys of being face-to-face congregations and of personally ministering and receiving care in cells, we are also a substantial network. Everyone needs to love the whole church and the whole region, too, not just their cell or congregation. At the same time, everyone needs to love their cell, congregation and neighborhood and not get lost in the network. This takes a vision of the redemption project that is more like Jesus' all the time.

Maybe it is not so hard to have a big vision like that, theoretically. We do love Circle of Hope. It is an exciting church doing meaningful things in faith. But being a part of Circle of Hope can also be like going to a friend's wedding all the time. We grow up and start new things. The love we share in Jesus keeps forming more family! We end up more than we were before, even when we liked what we were before. We end up needing new leaders who can handle the new organism we have become. In the moment, it is easy to feel a little overwhelmed by that, until we get enough composure to toast it!

As a people, we need to struggle with discerning how God wants to use who we are now, rather than perfecting what we used to be. That is tough! We have to apply our proverbs to ourselves in a new way and keep leaving our "precious memories" of Circle of Hope behind so we can take what is best into the future.

We'll make it through our most recent transition, I think. God will help us. Our engines of change in South Jersey and North Philly will give us reason to keep up. The vision of our developing Leadership Team and staff will steady the helm. But it really takes a lot of love from everyone; it takes some mature love. It takes things like getting through the toast at the wedding and honoring your buddy's marriage.  We really want to do such things and we really don't. So we need to be real people of faith. We planned Circle of Hope to require real people of faith to survive. That hasn't changed.

Conversion Stories

In my circles, the word "conversion" sort of has a bad reputation. I think that is because strange, power-hungry men (for the most part) have been in the mass media for decades prowling for conversions. People feel like it would be a sign of low self-esteem to give in to them – sort of like owning the Pocket Fisherman because you saw it on TV.

That's too bad. Because conversion is a good word. It basically means an event that resulted in transformation. Maybe we don't like getting coerced into conversion, but people yearn for transformation, and that is the essence of what relating to Jesus is all about. So maybe I don't need to be "converted" in the worst sense of the word, but no matter how many people try to get me to accept myself just as I am, I long for the transformation God promises. The more of it I experience, the more I long for the fullness.

I got to thinking about conversion when I was sitting at breakfast yesterday with the members of Shalom House and their Guidance Team celebrating the entry of Kristen into the household. We told peacemaking stories. Many of them included the conversion it took to be committed to Christ's way of peace. I needed to be converted to that even after I was a Christian! My father was in the Navy. My brother was in Vietnam. I enthusiastically voted for warmongers. My conversion was mainly due to an honest reading of scripture. When Paul talks about the armor of God he says to have "your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace." (Eph 6:15). I don't know why I would need to be a Christian at all if I have to undo Christianity so I can fit war into Christ's peacemaking.

So I was encouraged by the Shalom House people.

As I was remembering them this morning, a flood of realization came to me. Last night at our PMs, I was surrounded by people who were experiencing conversion. Some of it was rather dramatic.

A person quit his high-paying and high-powered international job last week because he feels convicted to have a life in Christ.

A person risked her job to get off in time to get her family to the PM, now that they have just one car.

A person is making a covenant with the church, even though it goes against his grain to be so noticed and connected.

A person has been released from her former ambitions and is bravely looking into the brand-new future that is opening up before her.

Even as I am listing these conversations that all happened during the course of one evening, I realize that there are many more I could be listing — some small examples, some large. There is a lot of conversion going on. Knowing Jesus and being one of his people is changing people and allowing them to go with further change. I don't know if transformation is breaking out, but I am glad to at least have my eyes opened to it a bit more. Are you noticing any conversion in your quadrants?

Kick a Sleeping Dog For Jesus

Chaucer wrote: 'It is nought good a slepyng hound to wake.' ('Troylus and Crisedye,' 1374). By the time the saying got to Dickens in David Copperfield it was, "Let sleeping dogs lie."  By the time it got to Pennsylvania in 2010 it was something of a way of life. "Whatever you do, don't cause a conflict. Organize your life around avoiding anything that might even be taken as having an objection."

This attitude kinds of messes up the redemption project, don't you think? — since being connected to Jesus (even if you don't say anything about it!), if some people just know about it, will be something that causes conflict. So some Christians I know are even more determined to be as unobtrusive as possible, lest they "turn someone off," or more likely just violate the family credo, "Let sleeping dogs lie" – "Never risk a bite…It is mean to kick…You can't tell if that dog is nice or mean so just don't have a relationship at all and call that being nice to dogs."

But this brings me to the other dog proverb that comes from the super-short Greek fable: "There was a dog lying in a manger who did not eat the grain but who nevertheless prevented the horse from being able to eat anything either." This comes from Lucian way back I the 2nd Century and has been popular ever since. About the same time, a version came up in the colorful, but wisely rejected, Gospel of Thomas, attributing the thought to Jesus: "Woe to the Pharisees, for they are like a dog sleeping in the manger of oxen, for neither does he eat nor does he let the oxen eat." It's kind of similar to Matthew 23.13: "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men's faces; you do not enter yourselves, nor will you let others enter."

If you are committed to letting sleeping dogs lie, you are like a dog in the manger. You have the spiritual food people need to eat, but you are so committed to not forcing it down their throats that you let them starve. In essence, you won't even eat it yourself, because it might cause you problems if it really became part of your metabolism and made you like Jesus, dusting it up with Pharisses!

If you are following all this dog metaphor, I hope you are getting that we'd all be better off if we kicked a sleeping dog for Jesus. Most of the people we know are not peacefully sleeping, they are in a spiritual coma and they need to be awakened. Worse, they have taken an overdose of nonsense and if we don't get them awake and keep them awake, they might die.

Of course, the same dire circumstance awaits believers who don't get involved with the dogs (as Jesus even seemed reluctant to do!). We could end up being sleeping dogs in the manger! Sometimes I think that is exactly what we are like. It is not that we are trying to keep people away from our spiritual food. We're like well-fed dogs bedded down in our little nests, oblivious to the world. Or if we are not well-fed and bedded, we are at least nested – likely to have this week go by and not one sleeping dog kicked, including ourselves.

The Common Loneliness — Francis Day 2010

On Francis of Assisi Day, 2010

It could have been that Francis

Crawled out into the bushes of La Verna to die

Like an old alley cat –

Scrawny from fasting

And disappointed that his dream turned so human.

Or it could have been that Francis

Longed so much for home, he couldn't resist.

Like the prodigal son,

He came to his senses

And gave in to seeking the meal his holy memory could taste.

Either way, he ended up in the wilderness

And the mountain was a lonely silence,

Like nothing but a frightened man

With nothing to offer but emptiness.

And yet he had to keep going, step by step, up the hill.

Either way, he ended up alone,

Experiencing the pain both of separation and union –

Like a young man leaving home

And like a father letting go,

And he aware of it all, yet powerless before it.

It could have been that Francis

Did very few of the things people recalled.

But what believer is not so lonely

With disillusion and desire

That they would dare to disabuse us of their own story?

False Comfort from the Capuchins

My uniform is pretty simple. In summer it tends to be shorts and indestructible Chacos. In winter I put on long pants and black sneakers. Perhaps I picked up the simplicity from Christians I admire. The Amish have a uniform from the late 1800s which continues to turn heads in Lancaster Co. And I love the Franciscans, especially the Capuchins (after whom cappuccino was named), who returned to the brown (hooded) robe of St. Francis in the 1500's, including the rope belt with three knots to...

Gen-Y: Do Not Become Slaves of Human Masters

I get confused about the arbitrary labels assigned to "generations" in the marketing worldview that dominates us. But, for today, let's go along with Cindy Krischer Goodman and call them Gen-Y, the 18-30 year olds I love so much. The Inquirer picked up one of Mrs. Krischer Goodman's pieces (and may have edited it to death it is so choppy) about how the recession has smacked the age-group with reality. "About 37% of 18-29 year-olds have been underemployed or out of work during the recession...

Do Not Become Slaves of Human Masters

I get confused about the arbitrary labels assigned to "generations" in the marketing worldview that dominates us. But, for today, let's go along with Cindy Krischer Goodman and call them Gen-Y, the 18-30 year olds I love so much. The Inquirer picked up one of Mrs. Krischer Goodman's pieces (and may have edited it to death it is so choppy) about how the recession has smacked the age-group with reality. "About 37% of 18-29 year-olds have been underemployed or out of work during the recession...