Rod White's Blog, page 50

Go See Of Gods and Men

Dear friends, please go see Of God's and Men. If you are in Philadelphia, it will be at the Ritz Five for about five more seconds, I imagine. It is the most Christian movie I have ever seen. It is as slow as life in a Cistercian monastery, so don't go sleepy. It is in French with subtitles, so don't go irritable. It is about being a real Christian, so go discouraged, or questioning, or ignorant. Go to meditate on what it means to live by faith in a tumultuous, violent world.

Here's the trailer: A monastery perched in the mountains of North Africa in the 1990s. Eight French Christian monks live in harmony with their Muslim brothers. When a crew of foreign workers is massacred by an Islamic fundamentalist group, fear sweeps though the region. The army offers them protection, but the monks refuse. Should they leave? Despite the growing menace in their midst, they slowly realize that they have no choice but to stay… come what may. This film is loosely based on the life of the Cistercian monks of Tibhirine in Algeria, from 1993 until their kidnapping in 1996.

Gwen and I both felt, after we left the theater, "I have been WAY over-concerned with my problems." It is easy to forget how wrapped up we get in small things and make them big, because they are the only things we've got. The movie was about big things and how to find the faith to face them. Watching it made me understand that I could also be faithful in relation to my small sufferings.

I have been praying ever since, "Thank you, Lord, that there are still people who do something as radical as plant their Cistercian monastery in the Atlas Mountains to pray for Algeria and love its people!" The story of these monks opened my eyes to realize that I am living among such a people, who are inspired enough to be a circle of hope and plant themselves in the middle of the megalopolis with a very similar intention and practice. We aren't Cistercians, but we are strange enough when we aren't too afraid to be so. Plus, we have Compassion Teams and intentional households that keep us on the edge. "Thank you, Lord!"

Circle of Hope has a strange connection with the monks, you know. They were kidnapped on the exact weekend we had our first public meetings. It was Palm Sunday. Jesus says, "Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."

Exodus 15 — a Little Wisdom for God to Amplify

We had a couple of perennial questions arise at our cell last week. We were reading Exodus 15, which is a great paean to victory. God intervenes on behalf of the escaping Israelites and drowns Pharaoh's army in the sea — the women dance and sing. 

When certain Old Testament tales are considered, three questions regularly arise:

1) You are always talking about love. The God of the Old Testament hardly looks universally loving. What's with that?

2) A big change seems to have taken place between the Old and New Testaments, what am I to think about God and the Bible?

3) I've been taught that God never changes. If God has actually developed a new kind of love, isn't that wrong?

Lately, it seems like I have become audacious enough to attempt answers to giant questions in a blog post. This is another of those attempts. I won't get too far, but I want to stay in the dialogue. 

Let's talk about God's love 

What people call love these days is often social tolerance ("Love me, love Slovenia") or consumer preference ("I love Cheetos. I am part of the Frito Lay community") . People think God loves like they do  and then get mad at him for being out of line. When he intervenes with any kind of judgment or strategy in the world that seems WAY out of line.  So Exodus causes problems. 

Intervention looks like intolerance. Why would God be on Israel's side?  If the Pharaoh's soldiers were just doing their jobs, why would God kill them for it? All the questions are based on a "democratic" idea that love is protecting someone's right to be themselves.   

Intervention looks like a denial of choice.  Why would God get in the middle of people making their choices and be so domineering?  All the questions are asked assuming everyone is a consumer following the invisible hand of the marketplace, not the personal hand of God. 

God's passion for the redemption and health of creation is more complex than social and economic theories. His love is not subject to such theories. But his purposes are hardly secret. God is well known and his plans for humanity have even been written down for about 3000 years. His invitation to love has been consistent. Should he violate the most recent philosophy that has arisen to oppose him or debunk him, that would not be unusual. 

A nice piece of work on what God is doing in relation to all the violence in the Bible can be found here: http://fromhousetohouse.wordpress.com/war-in-the-old-testament-a-journey-toward-nonparticipation/

God in the Old and New Testament

Merely comparing and contrasting pieces of the Bible, is not listening very carefully to the Holy Spirit, it is more like Sesame St. characters trying to teach us that "one of these things is not like the other." I think it is much better think of the scripture in more relational terms. We should think of God as a parent, like Jesus does, not as an abstraction, like modern science might  (or like Greek philosophy, for that matter).  Then it is easier to understand how the scripture relates.

Creation was designed to grow and change, and God is responding accordingly. Talking to different eras of the world, as scripture does, is like talking to different cultures today — Nigeria is not Thailand, but believers are having a fine time with God in both places. What's more, you are probably reading this paragraph with a different emphasis than someone else. If we wrote down all the different responses to it, that wouldn't mean that I was different.  What is consistent, among many things,  from the beginning to the end in the Bible is the theme of being freed from slavery to people, to sin and to death. That goal is fulfilled in Jesus — there is not a difference, but there is a development.

God is love. But God's goals are not necessarily for everyone to feel loved. The creation is tested by sin and is facing death.  The goal is salvation. The need is redemption. We may often be like toddlers who need basic convincing that we are safe; I think the Lord is all for that. But we are designed to grow up into our fullness as embodied spirits, which includes seeing history as God sees it and finding our place in it. Seeing the Testaments as a flat study in character development rather than a testament of God's work over thousands of years of history is too tiny. Testing the material to see whether God can be trusted, rather than seeing how God has shown his passion for us again and again, is too small.

Does God change?

Clark Pinnock wrote a controversial book not long ago that I liked. He debunked the Greekified notion that God is Aristotle's unmoved mover. Instead he posited that God's covenant with us made him the most-moved mover.  Relating to God as if he were an element on the periodic table is strange.

God's character and goals are consistent. He actively, personally holds the universe together. He can and will create and end time as we know it. He has developed in relationship with us as a species as we have developed. He changed the universe when we were created, which changed his experience, as well. Reducing God to a predictable, changeless definition, rather than a living, generative Spirit, may be comforting in some small way, but it is not true enough.

These thoughts probably don't go far enough, but I am convinced the Holy Spirit of God will enlighten us if we keep in dialogue with God and his people. In our Men's meeting last night, we were talking about what wisdom we might have to offer to the next generation. We had a lot to think about. But one thing was for sure — they are passionately engaged with principles that are not revealed as God's way; they are fairly ignorant about God's cross-bound love. No matter how inadequate we feel to speak back to the onslaught of antichrist thinking, we need to stay in the dialogue, and pray. God will amplify what little wisdom we have.

The ask: the background music of hiving off

A striking circle of ten from the BW Hive List got together last night for a late-night brainstorm about the future development of Circle of Hope Broad and Washington. It was stimulating.

While we were discussing great things, there was a little emotional tune playing in the background. It was almost like a minor-keyed theme in a mystery movie that lets you know something scary is going to happen, a note of fear. Growing a church to hiving size means making new relationships, which most of us like, but making new relationships includes something most of us don't like: the ask. The tune kept building to the point when all the ideas would come down to the ask.

My mother liked taking me shopping for groceries as child. For one thing, my mother was so extraverted she didn't like to do anything alone and I was available. But I think the main thing was that I was rather entertaining as I interacted with the various people we would meet in the aisles. I would ask people about themselves, their clothes, their groceries. And if they wouldn't talk to me, I would ask my mother about them. My mother found this boundary-breaking amusing. The downside was that I would also ask for every single thing on the shelves that looked mildly interesting or tasty. So very early on, I had a lot of experience with the word NO. I was buying snacks yesterday for the PM, so I know that the tragedy of being told no is still very real for the under-six set. A young boy was lying in the aisle screaming under the watch of a bemused dad because Skittles were not on their list.

I was relatively oblivious to being told NO as a child. I just kept on expressing my hope for Skittles until I got a yes. If I got one yes out of a hundred NOs, that kept me going. But as I got older and understood that NO often had more meaning than whether I was going to get a piece of candy, I got a LOT more reticent. I began to feel rejected by NO. One hundred NOs of rejection were not made up for by a single yes. I began to feel generally rejected and didn't want to ask at all, lest I get rejected. The scary tune of the ask became background music in my brain.

Having intimates who lived a general yes to me did not necessarily make up for the times they dared to say NO to me. Even having a God who Paul could say this about didn't solve all my problems:

For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by us—by me and Silas and Timothy—was not "Yes" and "No," but in him it has always been "Yes."  For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. 2 Corinthians 1:19-20

Even God did not consistently convince me that being rejected, being an imposition, or being unwanted was less important than being free to be myself, being confident that I am safe no matter what, and living in a state of grace that is "yes" to me. I still was nervous about asking.

This nervousness about just asking makes church planting hard. Even if one is not aggressive about getting someone to come to an event and you just want to tell your story, you're still asking someone to listen. Church planting is all about the asking. You have to experience a LOT of NOs to get a yes.

I was telling the circle of hive-interested people last night that when I was being an evangelistic fanatic in college, I had days when I vowed to ask everyone I met to come to our new Bible study in our side-by-side apartments. That meant I would be asking all sorts of people I was sure would say NO, unless a miracle happened. Many did say NO. But a surprising number didn't and an even more surprising number became new disciples of Jesus.

Its been more than a few years since I was in college. Since then advertisers have become so oppressive (i.e., AT&T Station is a travesty!) that anyone with love in their heart feels like they should not add to the asking. That's just a general, devilish thing that has happened to us to make us keep quiet. No one even gets to hear the yes we have for them because we are all too busy telling AT&T NO for the millionth time, like some five-year-old in the store who never learns. It is tiring. We don't want to add to the asking, even if we are asking in the name of Jesus! Someone might think we are merely marketing!

But even more so, it is hard to ask because we don't like getting rejected. Asking in the name of Jesus is more like asking, "Do you want to make love?" than it is asking, "Do you want to buy a box of Girl Scout cookies?" (Samoas are still the best). Works of faith areintrinsically intimate. They are in the love zone.  If we ever hive off Broad and Washington, it will be because a substantial number of people trust the YES in Jesus enough to bear the nos of people who aren't ready yet or, for whatever reason, don't want them and Jesus now. Like perpetual askers at a middle school dance, we'll get up and cross over to a person who has a lot of power over our emotions and ask them to dance. There's no hiding it; we're asking because we like them. We love them, already, even before we find out what their response will be. We can get hurt if they reject us. We aren't selling a mere product. Our love for Jesus and them is intrinsic to the "product" if we are "selling" at all. So asking is no small thing. The music of the fear of no could drown out the dance music!

It is no wonder that we sometimes hate to ask. It could hurt. But if we don't ask, it could hurt even more. It will certainly hurt our chances of multiplying if we won't do it. I am going to keep meditating on that YES I can count on from God in Jesus.

Five Things that Are Usually on the Cell's Table

One of the blessings of my work is the luxury of having stimulating dialogue. Sometimes the stimulation is because I am in the midst of some fascinating problem, but often it is just a matter of sorting out the intricate issues of being a Jesus-follower in an ever-changing, ever-falling world.

In the past few weeks, I have had the pleasure of some deep conversations that have me thinking about the main issues we face when we are trying to form cells. Every Cell Leader, if they are engaged with their fellow cell members, is going to run up against the opposition people feel to being a Jesus-follower and forming  a community centered around Him. They aren't just being "bad," they are entering the cell already deeply influenced by large societal forces. So they bring forceful assumptions that usually pressure the cell to conform to them. They are not likely to automatically change their minds and habits to conform to our vision of what following Jesus is all about!  Besides, the tug of war about whether the church or the society is more conformed to Jesus is often not a "cut-and-dried" matter. Stimulating dialogue should ensue. 

I've got some "proverbs" forming in my mind that deal with the regular issues I am discussing with people. Some of my friends have theories about life from the society that I don't share. The other day, I jotted down five things I had been repeatedly talking about with people. They didn't come up as "topics," they came up as assumptions. I decided to briefly flesh them out as topics today to see if I could state them positively and get some feedback. Here goes:

Knowing things and knowing ourselves is more about being known than processing data.

Wisdom is revealed and received more than extracted from precedent or "the research." When I say that, I mean that wisdom resides with God and is primarily revealed in Jesus. But I think a lot of people expect to discover God by endless data processing, since that's what we do. Processing means progressing.

As a result, many people will assume that more knowledge means more progress, and progress is what we are all about. If the cell does not provide data, they may not think they are getting anywhere. If you bring up the Bible, they may be nervous, because the Bible is old data. They think that the present state of science, democracy and probably capitalism, really is that much smarter than everyone who ever lived before; humankind has progressed. They are also likely to think that the future will be even better; they might feel like they'll be left behind if they attach to Jesus .

Christians certainly believe we are coming to a good end. And we believe individuals and societies can and should get better. But we know God has always known better, knowing God in every era is knowing better, and being known by God as God promotes our discovery of our eternity is best of all.

Blindly applying whatever is the latest "best practices" may flip vulnerable people "out of the frying pan and into the fire. "

People often tell me I will be on the wrong side of history if I don't adapt to what's coming around. I am trying to be adaptable. Last night I actually suspected I might be TOO adaptable when students from Ohio came to the meeting and thought they had arrived at a different spiritual planet. One of them said, "I think one of my friends went to a church like this, once." I like to be on the edge of what is next, not "out of this world." We need to reach into what is coming and reach back into what was.

I think we should not blindly go with whatever the scientists and pseudo-scientists invented in the last 100-500 years, certainly not the last 50 years, certainly not with the latest political movement that popularizes their findings.  As my mom said, "Just because someone is popular does not make them good." (That's either Mom or Jesus). When the bandwagon crashes, the most vulnerable get most hurt.

I don't think we can underestimate just how unwilling most of us are to suffer.

There is a lot of pressure to make being ourselves feel good and to never suffer being disliked, disrespected or disabled. Dis is becoming a forbidden syllable. (And don't dis me because I said so!) We are not supposed to experience dis-ease, dis-comfort, dis-appointment. If you are the cell leader that perpetrates any dis there may be instant dis-tance. Don't be afraid, just keep talking about it.

Some things about us are not going to change this side of the age to come. We can be comforted, happy and stable, but we might not be perfect or perfectly related. Being saved is better than being perfect. Being who one is and letting God accept us and change us is better than demanding that society (or the church) supply a perfect environment for our perfect life.

Expressions of faith change over time to match the era and the needs, but that's not improving the faith, that is just being clear.

We Jesus-followers have always adapted to whatever society we are in, most of the time for good, sometimes with spectacularly wrong results.  In the US we tend to have rich people arguments, assuming the whole world is like us (or would like to be!).  In the Congo, our brothers and sisters are debating something else.

My basic thought about everything is "What provides for redemption?" Not, "How can I make my religion adaptable to what's happening now?" I'm not ashamed of Jesus. God does not need updating, as if he were a style. But, at the same time, love speaks the language of the loved one.

Being chosen is the beginning of freedom.

Most people seem to think that choice is the end of freedom. For instance: if Libyans get democracy, everything will be fine (just like it is here!). I don't think many people consciously this this, but they act like they beleive that endless choices, like consumer choices, make them human. Human rights is often a discussion of "choice."

I agree that having rights is sure better than being dominated! But I hasten to add that the philosophy of choice is also a domination system and being free from conforming to it is my right in Christ. Having many or few choices does not make me more human and certainly not more spiritually free.

This is a tricky argument to have while munching on a cookie during a cell meeting. But it will undoubtedly come up, because a lot of people think morality is about rights. Since Christians are all for morality, then we must be about rights. It is surprising to people when we go deeper than that and talk about how losing our right to be "free" of God has given us freedom to be our true selves back in relationship with God.

In looking this over, I probably have too many giant issues squashed on to this little page. So thanks for getting this far. That's kind of how my life has been lately — full of stimulating conversations that can't get finished in a short amount of time.  It is also like a cell — full of facinating people with more issues to consider than there is time in a meeting.

Any help you can give in how to state redemptive truths positively and not just join the flame-throwers on the net, in the Congress and on TV will be appreciated.

Five Things that Are Usually on theTable

One of the blessings of my work is the luxury of having stimulating dialogue. Sometimes the stimulation is because I am in the midst of some fascinating problem, but often it is just a matter of sorting out the intricate issues of being a Jesus-follower in an ever-changing, ever-falling world.

In the past few weeks, I have had the pleasure of some deep conversations that have me thinking about the main issues we face when we are trying to form cells. Every Cell Leader, if they are engaged with their fellow cell members, is going to run up against the opposition people feel to being a Jesus-follower and forming  a community centered around Him. They aren't just being "bad," they are entering the cell already deeply influenced by large societal forces. So they bring forceful assumptions that usually pressure the cell to conform to them. They are not likely to automatically change their minds and habits to conform to our vision of what following Jesus is all about!  Besides, the tug of war about whether the church or the society is more conformed to Jesus is often not a "cut-and-dried" matter. Stimulating dialogue should ensue. 

I've got some "proverbs" forming in my mind that deal with the regular issues I am discussing with people. Some of my friends have theories about life from the society that I don't share. The other day, I jotted down five things I had been repeatedly talking about with people. They didn't come up as "topics," they came up as assumptions. I decided to briefly flesh them out as topics today to see if I could state them positively and get some feedback. Here goes:

Knowing things and knowing ourselves is more about being known than processing data.

Wisdom is revealed and received more than extracted from precedent or "the research." When I say that, I mean that wisdom resides with God and is primarily revealed in Jesus. But I think a lot of people expect to discover God by endless data processing, since that's what we do. Processing means progressing.

As a result, many people will assume that more knowledge means more progress, and progress is what we are all about. If the cell does not provide data, they may not think they are getting anywhere. If you bring up the Bible, they may be nervous, because the Bible is old data. They think that the present state of science, democracy and probably capitalism, really is that much smarter than everyone who ever lived before; humankind has progressed. They are also likely to think that the future will be even better; they might feel like they'll be left behind if they attach to Jesus .

Christians certainly believe we are coming to a good end. And we believe individuals and societies can and should get better. But we know God has always known better, knowing God in every era is knowing better, and being known by God as God promotes our discovery of our eternity is best of all.

Blindly applying whatever is the latest "best practices" may flip vulnerable people "out of the frying pan and into the fire. "

People often tell me I will be on the wrong side of history if I don't adapt to what's coming around. I am trying to be adaptable. Last night I actually suspected I might be TOO adaptable when students from Ohio came to the meeting and thought they had arrived at a different spiritual planet. One of them said, "I think one of my friends went to a church like this, once." I like to be on the edge of what is next, not "out of this world." We need to reach into what is coming and reach back into what was.

I think we should not blindly go with whatever the scientists and pseudo-scientists invented in the last 100-500 years, certainly not the last 50 years, certainly not with the latest political movement that popularizes their findings.  As my mom said, "Just because someone is popular does not make them good." (That's either Mom or Jesus). When the bandwagon crashes, the most vulnerable get most hurt.

I don't think we can underestimate just how unwilling most of us are to suffer.

There is a lot of pressure to make being ourselves feel good and to never suffer being disliked, disrespected or disabled. Dis is becoming a forbidden syllable. (And don't dis me because I said so!) We are not supposed to experience dis-ease, dis-comfort, dis-appointment. If you are the cell leader that perpetrates any dis there may be instant dis-tance. Don't be afraid, just keep talking about it.

Some things about us are not going to change this side of the age to come. We can be comforted, happy and stable, but we might not be perfect or perfectly related. Being saved is better than being perfect. Being who one is and letting God accept us and change us is better than demanding that society (or the church) supply a perfect environment for our perfect life.

Expressions of faith change over time to match the era and the needs, but that's not improving the faith, that is just being clear.

We Jesus-followers have always adapted to whatever society we are in, most of the time for good, sometimes with spectacularly wrong results.  In the US we tend to have rich people arguments, assuming the whole world is like us (or would like to be!).  In the Congo, our brothers and sisters are debating something else.

My basic thought about everything is "What provides for redemption?" Not, "How can I make my religion adaptable to what's happening now?" I'm not ashamed of Jesus. God does not need updating, as if he were a style. But, at the same time, love speaks the language of the loved one.

Being chosen is the beginning of freedom.

Most people seem to think that choice is the end of freedom. For instance: if Libyans get democracy, everything will be fine (just like it is here!). Not many people think that but they do act like endless choices, like consumer choices, make them human. Human rights is often a discussion of choice.

I agree that having rights is sure better than being dominated! But I hasten to add that the philosophy of choice is also a domination system and being free of conforming to it is my right in Christ. Having many or few choices does not make me more human and certainly not more spiritually free.

This is a tricky argument to have while munching on a cookie during a cell meeting. But it will undoubtedly come up, because a lot of people think morality is about rights. Since Christians are all for morality, then we must be about rights. It is surprising to people when we go deeper than that and talk about how losing our right to be "free" of God has given us freedom to be our true selves back in relationship with God.

In looking this over, I probably have too many giant issues squashed on to this little page. So thanks for getting this far. That's kind of how my life has been lately — full of stimulating conversations that can't get finished in a short amount of time.  It is also like a cell — full of facinating people with more issues to consider than there is time in a meeting.

Any help you can give in how to state redemptive truths positively and not just join the flame-throwers on the net, in the Congress and on TV will be appreciated.

The Bully, The False Lover, The Shrewd Army Commander

I had a spiritual director once who was trained in the "Ignation School" of spirituality. Our relationship was a nice experience for me. He was a chemist, by education, and brought much of the personality and expertise of his field with him into our relationship. Being almost the opposite of a chemist, in training and typical personality type, I benefitted greatly.

At one point, he told me about the three ways I could be tempted, according to Ignatius, and asked me to decide which way I was being tempted in the moment. I have never forgotten the imagery. Here are the thoughts from the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius Loyola paraphrased by David Fleming. I thought you might like to examine yourself to see how you are likely to be opposed this week.

Three Ways the Enemy Works

Like a Bully

The enemy behaves like a bully who is a weakling before strength, but a tyrant before weakness. It would be characteristic of a bully to lose courage and take flight when confronted with someone who is determined and strong of will. However, if a person loses courage and begins to flee, the anger, vindictiveness, and rage of the bully will surge up and know no bounds.  In the same way the enemy becomes weak, loses courage, and turns to flight as soon as the one leading a spiritual life faces their temptations boldly. (SE 325)

I have been very encouraged this week by dear friends who have had the courage to face "the bully" in whatever guise he was taking. They make me remember the recurring dream I had for several weeks, long ago now, in which a "monster" was chasing me. Gwen suggested I prepare to turn and face it that night rather than dreading to run away from it in my dreams. I decided to do it, and in my dream I did it. The result was exactly as Ignatius said. I proved it had no power over me.

Like a False Lover

The Enemy's behavior can also be compared to that of a false lover.  One who loves falsely uses another for selfish gains, and so people become objects at one's disposal or like playthings for entertainment or good times.  A false lover usually suggests that the so-called intimacy of relationship be kept secret because of fear that such duplicity will be made known.  So does the Enemy often act in ways to keep temptations secret, and our tactics must be to bring our temptations out into the light of day to someone like our director, confessor or some other spiritual companion. (SE 326)

I regularly hear about the literal "false lovers" who lock people up. Porn is the undiscussed  false lover for any people. Many people have connected with a person who doesn't love Jesus and that relationship is a secret love. Some people have many secrets about how they have satisfied their lust and pretended they didn't to their intimates. Sex it a spiritual matter. Although many people are resolute in pretending otherwise, there are probably no inconsequential couplings or orgasms.

But our loves are not all sexual. We have many lovers who use us and leave us kicked to the curb. We trust our employers or addictions or abusers, even when they don't love us like Jesus. We trust our false selves in all their delusions and bad heart-habits, even when they have repeatedly been proven self-destructive.

The solution is dialogue. We shouldn't wait for our expectations of trustworthiness to be fully satisfied before we talk about our lovers. They are much less powerful in the light. Just because they fear the light, and they tell us that being secret is better, and they warn us of the terrible consequences of living in the light, that doesn't mean they aren't lying.

Like a Shrewd Army Commander

The Enemy can also work like a shrewd army commander who carefully maps out the tactics of the attack at the weakest point of defense.  The military leader knows the weakness is found in two ways:  a) the weakness of fragility and unpreparedness, and b) the weakness of complacent strength which is self-sufficient pride.

The Enemy attacks come against us at both points of weakness.  The first kind of weakness is less serious in that we more readily acknowledge our need and cry or for help from God.  The second kind of weakness is far more serious and more devastating in its effect upon us so that it can be a more favored tactic of the Enemy. (SE 327) 

Peter says the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. This is a similarly threatening image. Our enemy is like an army commander scoping out the weak defenses of our walled city. Some places, like the gates we open to the world every day are well-defended because we know about them. But there are weak sections of the wall, perhaps, that defend places we never expect to be attacked, or don't want to imagine being attacked because we've been hurt there before, that are much more dangerous.

For instance, Circle of Hope is a relational network. We count on people loving one another. We have 50 cell leaders entrusted with nurturing the process of micro-communities. So, naturally, we can get complacent about how everyone supposedly loves one another and can be "sitting ducks" in the gun sites of an enemy shooting conflict at us. We can be so committed to our harmony that we don't allow healthy conflict, or don't even allow needed change to occur if it might create conflict – even though we have a proverb that says, "Everyone is recovering from the sin addiction – expect conflict."

On a more personal level, each of us might be very unaware of our childhood defense mechanisms and just consider them "normal," or even "my right to be who I am," or even, nowadays, "my genetic disposition that I can't change even if I want to." We could all use a little more Ignatian attention to self-sufficiency. The enemy would love us to be self-sufficient. It is antithetical to serving God.

Ignatian spirituality is not for the weakly committed. It takes a lot of time to ponder all the ways we could be growing stronger in faith and becoming stronger opponents to the enemies of God. I am encouraged to take the time, because much of the time I am not spending becoming aware of my temptations I am spending conforming to them.

My Week of Seeing Jesus in the Morsels

Lent is coming soon and it will inspire a good fast. That's good, because I could use one. But until then, I think I am determined to receive whatever I am served at whatever table I am seated to see God revealed. Last week was a feast.

Monday it was linguine, Mexican linguine at Paloma. (I don't understand them, but it was delicious). My Valentine told me she was going to let the conversation flow wherever it flowed and enjoy it. She gladly wore the bracelet I bought her from the Eyes Gallery, which is always full of Mexican oddities. (Do you detect a south-of-the-border theme?) The blessing was easy to spot in the surprisingly good pasta: many Valentine's Days and deep, comfortable love. Given where we come from and our native incapabilities, that is no small blessing.

Tuesday it was a quesadilla at ten o'clock after buying a minivan. I have the van sitting in the garage waiting to be driven, waiting for grandchildren to grind chocolate into it, chocolate I probably shouldn't have given them. The quesadilla asked the question as I impatiently waited for the cheese to melt, "How much are you going to pack into this week?" The voice of Jesus was in the quesadilla.

Wednesday morning it was the granola of brotherhood with the band of cell-leading brothers at Morning Glory. Their partnership seemed like a sudden development. Suddenly everyone loved one another and was committed to the group like it is life-saving. It made my yogurt especially sweet to be with them. In spite of all their professional and family pressures, they want to have a life in Christ that makes a difference.

Wednesday night it was limp pasta at the Gold Standard with my neighbors. We decided to have dinner together rather than just meet for snow shoveling. My one neighbor was ready to tell stories about Vietnam and gang life in North Philly. We were focused on his seventeenth and eighteenth years. They were entertaining years. Jesus was in the entertainment, in seeing people who I don't normally see just the way they are, in offering understanding, and in waiting for love to do what love does. 

Thursday noon it was spanakopita with the pastors in the Lebanon Farmers Market. (No kidding). I could have had the Kenbrook Camp lunch but we evacuated to visit Jonny's mother (thus preventing his early demise). She has an Egyptian-food stand in the market and served us what undoubtedly amounted to the entire day's profits. Delicious. The pastors are deliciously spiritual and committed to one another. The conversation was deliciously spiced with talk about Coptic Christians in the midst of Egyptian upheaval.  Jesus was definitely at the table. Rich fare.

Thursday night it was a horseradish chip at the cell meeting. My cell knows I am repenting of my weird dietary habits this year, but what is a few chips going to hurt? They also know I rarely leave the supermarket without buying something I have never eaten, like horseradish-cheddar potato chips. God was in the being known and still being loved.

Friday it was the family feast for the twins' birthday — toddlers and babies everywhere, new houses and new developments, faith stories, disappointments, negotiations about how to be a clan. Again, even while washing every dish in the house afterward, it all seemed like a blessing. I am so happy it is all right to come to our table and tell the latest miracle story about how someone bumped into Jesus by bumping into one of us.

Saturday it was overpriced burb food with friends who are worth suffering bad food for. We were shooting for PF Chang's and ended up at Redstone (don't bother – but then, I realized I am very spoiled by Philadelphia food). Jesus was especially in the tales of woe that surfaced, and which were received, and which benefited greatly from being told in a place where one is sure to be loved.

Sunday it was a carb-feast with the women of Shalom House and their Guidance Team (I look forward to meeting the men of Shalom House, soon). Jesus was easy to see in the vision of their listening tour, and in the creativity around the table. In the desire to see big things happen, it is often easy to overlook just how big it is to participate in what is happening already!

Then, Sunday night, Josiah made sure I got one of the Tootsie Pops on the snack table. That's a big deal to me. Papa needs a Pop. Being loved by a child loosens up the candy-coated shell around my inner child.

This week, I honestly hope my spiritual food is not accompanied by so many calories. But I am encouraged to consider each morsel as a gift and have a feast of love when the babaganoush and diet cherry Pepsi are passed to me like bread and wine.

The Real St. Valentine

This poem reflects the theme of our benefit last Friday night that promised to uncover the "real" St. Valentine. I'm not sure the event did that, and I am not sure this poem does much better, since it references later exaggerations as 3rd-century fact. But my valentine said it needed to see the light of blogosphere day. So I offer it to you.

The first almond blossoms had begun to green

When the Goths began to mass in the north.

Emperor Claudius, the Butcher, turned his eye

To the budding men of Rome's underground.

Where love flowered, he put down his boot

And forbade the young men to seal their vows.

"Rome is doomed if her imperial needs

Are thwarted by the demands of squawking babes."

The church in Rome had grown like a wild vine,

And tending it was a priest named Valentine,

Who was blind to the edict and married the church

And included the faithless in proclaiming their faith.

The powers quickly found his garden of grace,

Burst in and beat him beyond recognition,

Then buried his love even deeper in their prison,

Where forty-six captives soon sang praise by his side.

The jailer had a daughter in the first dew of spring

Who had never seen a flower or the light of day.

The saint prayed again and light spread further;

His last words to Julia: "From your Valentine."

On the day lovebirds mate in 269, they say,

The guards dragged him to the place of execution

For marrying against the emperor's order.

He lost his head in a final spray of blood and love.

The powers rage against the blossom of covenant.

Each spring a new war, each day a deeper blindness,

Every season of time a new martyr to take a stand

In the ever-foolish cause of revealing God's image.

Emptiness as a Friendly Place

Emptiness, yearning, incompleteness: these unpleasant words hold a hope for incomprehensible beauty. It is precisely in the seemingly abhorrent qualities of ourselves — qualities that we spend most of our time trying to fix or deny — that the very thing we most long for can be found: hope for the human spirit, freedom for love.

This is a secret known by those who have had the courage to face their own emptiness. The secret of being in love, of falling in love with life as it is meant to be, is to befriend our yearning instead of avoiding it, to live into our longing rather than trying to resolve it, to enter the spaciousness of our emptiness instead of trying to fill it up. — Gerald May in the Awakened Heart.

It is hard to see emptiness as a friendly place. Our whole quest as a society is going the exact opposite direction — filling up our houses and storage units with stuff and our schedules with activities. I think a lot of us have sex in a vain attempt to fill and be filled. Gerald May is talking about something with which we are not very familiar.

I was struck with my own fear of that empty place in me when I reflected on our meetings last Saturday. At the monthly training I was surrounded by 50-plus loving people; then at the Leadership Team meeting I was with dear comrades, among whom are some of my closest friends. Yet I still came away feeling distant and fearful of my emptiness. I expected something from the meetings I did not get. I wanted to leave with joy, motivation and faith. There was so much joy, motivation and faith in the room, one would think it was hard to resist! I'm not saying I did completely resist. But the meetings did not satisfy my yearning. In fact, they seemed to heighten it.

I thought it might be helpful to name what we often feel in the middle of the sea of goodness and grace in which we swim.

As I said at the meetings, I seemed to meet a series of seriously empty people looking for fullness last week. They were making careful assessment of Circle of Hope (and me!) to see if we were likely candidates to meet their need. I resented being assessed like that. And I was sure I did not meet the test, which made me feel inadequate and guilty. But I relate to the search. I feel sorry for the seekers like I feel sorry for myself. When you've been hollowed out by drugs or other addictions, when you went to your parents and found them wanting or neglectful, when your mate broke your heart, the emptiness can feel desperate. We certainly don't want to look somewhere that is going to injure us again! Our insides make definite demands, even if we don't want them to!

I am often in a quandary as to what to do with myself. Much more do I wonder how to talk to someone else who appears at the door empty and ravenous and yet picky about the food served, even resistant to being fed. If we do not lose ourselves to find ourselves in Jesus, we are just full of it — that is, we are full of impossible expectation. I don't always have a good solution for people who haven't gotten to the end of thinking they can fill themselves up, or that they will be filled up if they just hook up with the right person, if they find the right community, of if they get a few friends. It will not all be better.

I know my life is not better until I enter the spaciousness of my emptiness and meet God there. The wide plains of our loneliness is the homeland of the Holy Spirit. Let's be kind to ourselves as we realize this. As obvious as the thought might seem, the reality of moving that direction is excruciating. Rather than being merely irritated with the hungry packs sniffing the air around us for connection or running away from the fear of lack of it, let's stay near each other and help one another with the terrors of life in the Spirit.

Admiring Menno Simons

It is Menno Simons Day. If you would like the 90-second recap, you can find one here. (I love the tone of the narration!)

 Some people say that a week in the 2010s is like a year of the past. Hilary Clinton called an unprecedented meeting of all her ambassadors for this week to try to get a handle on the U.S. response to the upheaval in the Middle East and North Africa. Things are changing fast. On Menno Simons day (died Jan 31, 1561) I think it is good to remember that many years in the  1500's were like last week in Egypt. Without social media and technology, the change took longer to take hold, but it was no less earthshaking. Menno Simons struggled for many years with how to respond to the new opportunities for faith and action that came to him as a priest in the crumbling Catholic Church of the Netherlands.  

 Menno Simons became a leader in the Anabaptist movement upon request. Radical reformers had produced the takeover of Munster by people trying to usher in the second coming by force. Menno had a more reasoned and gentle way that he promoted the rest of his life. Get the whole story here. He told the delegation who asked him to lead the scattered Anabaptists that he would pray about the matter of his leadership. When they came again, as he says in his writings, he surrendered his "soul and body to the Lord … and commenced in due time … to teach and to baptize, to till the vineyard of the Lord,… to build up His holy city and temple and to repair the tumble-down walls."  He was re-baptized soon after his withdrawal from the Catholic Church in 1536. By December 7, 1542, one hundred guilders were offered by the authorities of Leeuwarden for the apprehension of Menno, who appeared by night at different places to preach and baptize.

Menno Simons turned away from tradition and became Bible-centered in all his beliefs and practices. Once he had turned to the Bible, he took it for the Word of God and made it the cornerstone of all his work. His writings are filled with Bible quotations. His approach to the Bible differs from that of other church-reformers in the 1500s. For Simons, everything is, above all, Christ-centered. Every book and every little pamphlet he wrote have this motto on the front page: "For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ" (1 Corinthians 3:11). Christ-centeredness marks his theology and the practices he derived from the Bible. Discipleship or a fruitful Christian life was very strongly emphasized. Also emphasized was the fact that discipleship does not take place in a vacuum or as a matter merely between the individual and his God, but rather within the congregation, the church of Christ. Menno's faith is therefore not only Christ-centered but also church-centered. His chief concern was the living in  the true body of Christ. Again and again he refers to 1 Corinthians 12:13, 25-27, and Colossians 1:18-24. The prerequisites for being part of the church according to Menno are regeneration and willingness to bear the cross of Christ. These two are inseparable. Discipline was as natural in the church of Menno Simons as any normal function of the healthy body.

Menno Simons was one of my heroes of the faith when I was first becoming a Christian as a history major in college –  I ended up being a history-of-Christianity major! As I met my ancestors in the faith, I kept meeting people in every era who seemed to "get it." The majority of the church might be adapting to whatever political or philosophical emphasis dominated the world, but God always had someone who notably kept the true faith and fed his or her era with it. Menno Simons was one of these people.

Today, among the many things he has left us in our inheritance from him, I offer four:

Pay attention to how the Lord wants us to respond to the times. Be afraid, if you must, but don't let fear stop you from obeying your heavenly vision.
Take the lead. Simons did not think he had it in him, either. True leadership may be less about charisma and more about consistently doing what needs to be done.
Be Christ-centered. As the Egyptians are demonstrating, regimes and ideas come and go. What we can demonstrate is that the word of Jesus is everlasting. It is not about "god" or "values" it is about the Lord.
Build a real church. This is the Anabaptist genius that I appreciate the most. The majority of the reformers in the 1500's either cleaned out the Catholic church and kept the framework, or made up an alternative wedding between state and church with better theology. The Anabaptists took the reform movement to its radical basis and tried to live it out. I'm still impressed that they were so much the church that the authorities wanted to arrest them! May our authorities see us as so real and so not them that we pose a threat.