Benjamin Wallace > Quotes

“when the end came and there was initial chaos and rampant starvation, people learned all too well that you could not rely on stuff. You needed friends. A dead phone provided no companionship; an empty house no comfort. The latest fashions provided no food, but you could always eat a close friend.”
― Benjamin Wallace, Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors: A Duck & Cover Adventure

“As a young man he seemed to pine for a bygone world of aristocrats. [In his twenties, he] took to wearing Edwardian three-piece suits with a pocket watch and chain.

[discussing Kip Forbes]”
― Benjamin Wallace, The Billionaire's Vinegar: The Mystery of the World's Most Expensive Bottle of Wine

“A world where no child need cry because you didn’t buy him that ring pop at checkout, even though you know that he’ll never finish it and it will just end up a sticky mass of carpet lint and hair somewhere under the seat of the car. A world where no child need cry for want of shelter or love. A world where that child will finally just shut his cake hole.”
― Benjamin Wallace, Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors: A Duck & Cover Adventure

“Phylloxera was the yellow root louse that devastated Bordeaux’s vineyards in the late 1870s.”
― Benjamin Wallace, The Billionaire's Vinegar: The Mystery of the World's Most Expensive Bottle of Wine

“Stand. Stand against this threat. Stand with your heads held high—for you are the true possessors of this world’s future. Stand proud. And I will stand with you. This is our world to rebuild. Not theirs. Ours. So, let’s not fuck it up. - The post-apocalyptic nomadic warrior from a speech given at the gates of Eternal Hope, Colorado, moments before the Massacre of Eternal Hope, Colorado.”
― Benjamin Wallace, Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors: A Duck & Cover Adventure

“Those guys had a hard time telling the difference between being funny and being dicks.”
― Benjamin Wallace, Junkers

“Traveling through time can get pretty bumpy. Especially around 2016. We don’t want anyone bumping their head while we’re passing over the election.”
― Benjamin Wallace, Commando Pandas & Other Odd Thoughts

“Château Latour, he drank an 1865 that was a revelation. Michael Broadbent was a staunch observer of that archaic British midmorning pick-me-up known as elevenses; every day he could be found, before noon, enjoying a glass of dry Madeira, German white wine, or Champagne. At 2:45 p.m., he would take a twenty-minute nap. Toward evening he would have a glass of Champagne or Tio Pepe”
― Benjamin Wallace, The Billionaire's Vinegar: The Mystery of the World's Most Expensive Bottle of Wine

“I told you the last time, it was the last time.” “Yeah, but you said that the time before that.”
― Benjamin Wallace, Commando Pandas & Other Odd Thoughts

“As Koch put it, “My brother Charles collects money. David used to collect girls, but not anymore. Fred collects castles. And I collect everything.”
― Benjamin Wallace, The Billionaire's Vinegar: The Mystery of the World's Most Expensive Bottle of Wine

“So, where do you want their weak spot to be?” “I don’t want them to have a weak spot. No weak spots. Total number of weak spots, zero. I want it to be so that if someone walks up to you and says, ‘hey, Krendisha’r, you moron, where is the Do’om Bot’s weak spot?’ the only answer you can give them is, ‘It doesn’t have a weak spot.”
― Benjamin Wallace, Commando Pandas & Other Odd Thoughts

“Many connoisseurs believed that the wines of Bordeaux had never again attained their earlier level of quality and ageability. For such collectors, a trove of pre-phylloxera first growths was the Grail.”
― Benjamin Wallace, The Billionaire's Vinegar: The Mystery of the World's Most Expensive Bottle of Wine

“Honey,” his wife, Jenny, called to him from the kitchen. The game was loud. He could pretend not to hear. He inched down into the faux-suede. The announcers were saying something. He ignored them too. They were idiots. “Honey? Did you hear me?” No, he didn’t hear her. He chose not to hear her. It was one of his super powers—like heat vision, but more practical and was less likely to start a fire.”
― Benjamin Wallace, Dads vs. The World

“In Bordeaux, big bottles could range from magnum (the equivalent of two bottles) to Marie-Jeanne (three bottles) to double magnum (four bottles) to Jéroboam (six bottles) to Impériale (eight bottles). In Burgundy and Champagne, older Jéroboams were called Rehoboams, an Impériale was called a Methuselah, and even bigger bottles existed, including a Salmanazar (twelve bottles), a Balthazar (sixteen bottles), and a Nebuchadnezzar (twenty bottles).”
― Benjamin Wallace, The Billionaire's Vinegar: The Mystery of the World's Most Expensive Bottle of Wine

“Wine was different from paintings or stamps or cars. Its very purpose was to be consumed, to register sense impressions and then disappear.”
― Benjamin Wallace, The Billionaire's Vinegar: The Mystery of the World's Most Expensive Bottle of Wine

“I don’t want to shoot you.” He so wanted to shoot them.”
― Benjamin Wallace, Junkers