Dave Chappelle > Quotes

“The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. "I don't understand this person. So they're crazy." That's bullshit. These people are not crazy. They strong people. Maybe their environment is a little sick.”
― dave chappelle

“The girl says "Oh uh-uh, wait a minute! Wait a minute! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a whore!" Which is true, Gentlemen, that is true. Just because they dress a certain way doesn't mean they are a certain way. Don't even forget it. But ladies, you must understand that is fucking confusing. It just is. Now that would be like me, Dave Chappelle, the comedian, walking down the street in a cop uniform. Somebody might run up on me saying, "Oh, thank God. Officer, help us! Come on. They're over here. Help us!" "Oh-hoh! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a police officer!" See what I mean? All right, ladies, fine. You are not a whore. But you are wearing a whore's uniform.”
― Dave Chappelle

“I'm rich biotchh!”
― Dave Chappelle

“The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself especially when everybody is watching”
― Dave Chappelle

“Things like racism are institutionalized. You might not know any bigots. You feel like "well I don't hate black people so I'm not a racist," but you benefit from racism. Just by the merit, the color of your skin. The opportunities that you have, you're privileged in ways that you might not even realize because you haven't been deprived of certain things. We need to talk about these things in order for them to change.”
― Dave Chappelle

“The bottom line is no matter what happens to you, you got to keep going; and bitterness is quite cumbersome. Jokes is a way of shaking that off, processing something with the alchemy of levity.”
― Dave Chappelle

“I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy.”
― Dave Chappelle

“Lady, I'm just a nigga that loves titties.”
― Dave Chappelle

“Money is the fuel for choices.”
― Dave Chappelle

“To what extent do I have to participate in your self image?”
― Dave Chappelle

“The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.”
― Dave Chappelle

“If you look at life, anything in life through the framework of money, you will miss most of the picture.”
― Dave Chappelle

“Everybody gets mad because I say these jokes, but you gotta understand that this is the best time to say them. More now than ever, (...) you have a responsibility to speak recklessly. Otherwise, my kids may never know what reckless talk sounds like. The joys of being wrong. I didn't come here to be right. I come here to fuck around.”
― Dave Chappelle

“Hey,hey,hey. Smoke weed everyday”
― Dave Chappelle

“Sometimes you have to come out like a lion, so that you can be the lamb that you really are.”
― Dave Chappelle

“Every black American is bilingual. All of them. We speak street vernacular and we speak 'job interview.”
― Dave Chappelle

“I don't get mad at a photograph because it wasn't taken today”
― Dave Chappelle

“If you don't have the right people around you and you're moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself.”
― Dave Chappelle

“So sometimes I'll make up sh*t that's not even slang, just to see how they handle it and sh*t. It'll be the same thing, they just go:
"All right, we're gonna close the deal. Is that fine with you, Dave?"
"Yeah, it sounds good to me."
"Great. You have a good weekend, Dave."
"All right, buddy. Zip it up, and zip it out."
He'll be like...
"Uh... All right. Zippity-doo-dah, bye-BYE.”
― Dave Chappelle

“Twitter is a bathroom wall. Why would I write my thoughts on a bathroom wall?”
― Dave Chappelle

“I support anyone's right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?”
― Dave Chappelle