Mike Bechtle > Quotes

“Martin Luther supposedly said, “You might not be able to stop the birds from landing on your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“The Power of Influence I’ve realized that I choose not to spend much time with people who are trying to change me. If they take me on as a project to “fix,” I don’t respond well. But when they simply enter my life and accept me unconditionally, I become a different person because of their influence.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“We will spend every hour that we have. If we don’t determine where we’re going to spend it, then someone else will decide for us. Who deserves the best of your time today?”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“There’s usually no need to lecture or punish. It’s much more effective to just let people feel the natural consequences of their choices.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“The Bible isn’t just a book about religion; it’s a book about relationships, and it’s filled with practical suggestions for making our own relationships work. Here are some examples: Don’t bring up issues that have already been dealt with in the past. (Prov. 17:9) Don’t stretch the truth, but be honest in your conversation. (Eph. 4:25) If someone gets upset, don’t respond with anger. (Prov. 15:1; 25:15; 29:11) Listen carefully, and don’t interrupt until you’ve really heard the other person. (Prov. 18:13) Look for ways to encourage the other person. (1 Thess. 5:11) Pick your battles; avoid arguing whenever possible. (Prov. 17:14) Put energy into seeing things from the other person’s point of view. (Phil. 2:4) Spend a lot more time listening than talking. (James 1:19; Prov. 10:19) Think before you respond to someone. (Prov. 15:28) Watch carefully what you say so you don’t get yourself in trouble. (Prov. 21:23)”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“When people experience strong emotion, they can’t hear logic.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“We need to become different people in our responses to others, building character traits that allow us to handle their craziness without becoming victims. When we become different, people will respond to us differently. But most important, we’ll have the strength of character and the boundaries that allow us to be emotionally healthy, no matter what others do.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“A reaction is how we feel; a response is what we do.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“Joyful people are participants. They don’t miss the moments. They turn moments into memories.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“Most people see themselves as either better than they really are or worse than they really are, with an imbalanced focus on the positive or the negative. Humility means we see ourselves accurately, accept the way we have been created, and celebrate our uniqueness.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“We need to talk to the person, not about them.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“The event isn’t really the problem; it’s our response to the event.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“Drama-free” doesn’t mean getting rid of the drama or the people who create it. It means being free from its debilitating effects in our lives. This book is about getting free—not letting our lives and attitudes be controlled by the choices of others.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“Goethe wrote, “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.”[15] That’s true in every area of life—including our relationships.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“With expectation, we’re waiting for something specific that we want to happen, and we’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t. With expectancy, we release our own agenda in a person’s life, allowing changes to happen that we can’t control.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“We interpret the actions of others as malicious when they might be totally innocent. And how we interpret their actions is what upsets us.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“Holding anger toward someone in that way is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“I might believe some powerful truths, but if those beliefs are only in my head and don’t impact the way I live, nothing about my life will draw others to faith.”
― Mike Bechtle, Evangelism for the Rest of Us: Sharing Christ within Your Personality Style

“That’s the problem with our perspective; we always assume we’re right based on the information we have.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“If God designed introverts, doesn’t it make sense that he would want them to do his work through that personality? When introverts spend time trying to function like extroverts, they’re doing more than just wasting time. They’re actually robbing themselves of the very tools God gave them to do his work.”
― Mike Bechtle, Evangelism for the Rest of Us: Sharing Christ within Your Personality Style

“Integrity is who we are when we’re alone. It’s when there’s alignment between who we are on the inside and how we come across to others on the outside.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“False hope damages both parties in a relationship. We want the other person to change, and we hope and pray for the best. But the other person is responsible for their own choices and the consequences of those choices. If we think that our being consistent will make them change, we’re taking responsibility for them. If they don’t change, we’ve set ourselves up for disappointment.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“As Christians, we’re not salespeople; we’re just introducing mutual friends.”
― Mike Bechtle, Evangelism for the Rest of Us: Sharing Christ within Your Personality Style

“It means that we work on our side of the relationship, no matter what happens on the other side. We don’t change them; we change ourselves.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“So What Would Satan Do? 1. He would keep us distracted.”
― Mike Bechtle, Evangelism for the Rest of Us: Sharing Christ within Your Personality Style

“eventually opening your own cannery. You could control the product; you could control the market. You could control all the processing and distribution. And then, of course, you’d need to leave this little fishing village and move to Mexico City. Then you’d move to LA and eventually New York City, where you would run an expanding enterprise.” The Mexican fisherman said, “But, Señor, how long will this take?”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“It’s even worse when there’s a third person involved. If I talk to someone about you behind your back, I’m adding their perspective to my own, reinforcing my assumptions about your motives. Without talking to you and trying to understand your view, we move ever further away from realistic connection.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“We can’t stop various events from happening, and we can’t choose what other people do or say. Crazy people will always be present in our lives.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy if You Don't Give Them the Keys

“It’s inappropriate to have debilitating anger over events we can’t control.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“If they have positive and secure experiences early on, they can feel safe and build positive relationships. If they have negative experiences, they see the world as unsafe and develop skills to negotiate the land mines of life. When that happens, their ways of coping might appear crazy to others.”
― Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys