Matthew Diffee > Quotes

“Also, I don’t really keep up with the news. I watched CNN once, but that was only because I couldn’t get to the remote control without dislodging the catheter.”
― Matthew Diffee, The Best of the Rejection Collection: 293 Cartoons That Were Too Dumb, Too Dark, or Too Naughty for The New Yorker

“Marriage takes work, otherwise you're home together all day.”
― Matthew Diffee, Hand Drawn Jokes for Smart Attractive People

“What did Jesus order?”
― Matthew Diffee, The Best of the Rejection Collection: 293 Cartoons That Were Too Dumb, Too Dark, or Too Naughty for The New Yorker