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“I stop myself from apologizing-because what would I even be sorry for? Existing too loud?”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“Growing up, I realized quite quickly that people hate being called racist more than they hate racism itself.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“They say love and hate are the same, just at different ends of the blade”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“I hate how they have the power to kill my future, kill me. They treat my Black skin like a gun or a grenade or a knife that is dangerous and lethal, when really it’s them. The guys at the top powering everything.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
tags: devon
“I don’t straighten my hair because I hate it; I straighten it because everyone else hates it for me.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“The smell of bitch-ass liar is nauseating.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“But I know dreams are dangerous; they give me too much false hope.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
tags: devon
“I didn’t invent this twisted system that pits us against each other and makes us do crappy things for status—but I do know how to play it.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“Even though I know I shouldn’t care, it annoys me that when girls know what they want and how they’re going to get it, they’re seen as cocky. But guys who know what they want? They’re confident or strong.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“I’m Chiamaka fucking Adebayo—I don’t need some prick telling me who I am and who I should be.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“And I won’t roll over and let someone else take my crown. Not in a million years.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“By fire, by force”.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“When you grow up like this, whether it’s in your nature or not, sometimes survival overpowers doing the right thing.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
tags: devon
“I don’t trust white people like you do. I obviously don’t think they are all murderers, but I think they are all racist.” “All?” I say, eyebrows raised. “It sounds wild, I know, but racism is a spectrum and they all participate in it in some way. They don’t all have white hoods or call us mean things; I know that. But racism isn’t just about that—it’s not about being nice or mean. Or good versus bad. It’s bigger than that. We’re all in this bubble being affected by the past. The moment they decided they got to be white and have all the power and we got to be Black and be at the bottom, everything changed. If we can’t talk about it honestly, and I mean really talk about it, then what’s the point? I read some Malcom X last year, and I agree with him. Some might even treat you good, like an owner might treat a pet.” “That’s wild,” I say. “Yeah, it is. I think anyone can be nice, but it’s not about being nice. You can’t escape a history like that and not be affected. Us Blacks, we start hating ourselves, and them whites start thinking they’re all better than us. Even if they aren’t thinking it constantly, it’s in there somewhere.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“Note to self: Don’t delete numbers of the people you hate. They might come in handy someday.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“No matter what I do, no matter how much I iron down the hair that springs from my scalp, or work as hard as I can, I’m always going to be other to them. Not good enough for this place I’ve tried to call home all my life.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“I can ‘fix' the kinks in my hair, but not the kinks in this whole system that hates me and Devon and everyone that looks like us.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“We’ve all had f—cking hard lives — doesn’t mean I’m gonna be an asshole about it.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“People love to reward conventionally attractive people.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“I’m no longer Chi, but Chiamaka, daughter of a Nigerian mother who loves the hair on my head more than I ever could.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“Money can only get you so far; you need power and influence to go with it.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“Sometimes I feel like I'm so lost in my own world, I don't notice the things that seem obvious to everyone else.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“They say life is full of surprises. That our dreams really can come true. Then again, so can our nightmares ...”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“That was the problem with love. It created blind spots in your mind. Bloodred flags were blocked out by high levels of dopamine and the trick of a gentlemanly smile.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Where Sleeping Girls Lie
“But something I've realized is that very few things in this world are good.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“Sometimes justice looked like this: it wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t just. But it was something. A start.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Where Sleeping Girls Lie
“Of course I do. What do you guys want to be when you’re older?” “I do not dream of labor,” Baz said.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Where Sleeping Girls Lie
“Whispers are like snakes; they slither into your ears and threaten to poison your sanity with their venom.”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“but I learned early on that it’s either kill or be killed”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Ace of Spades
“Shrek; that movie always makes life feel less like shit”
Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Where Sleeping Girls Lie

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