Jay Carter > Quotes

“Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong. —LEO BUSCAGLIA”
― Jay Carter, Nasty People

“Every time you meet a situation, though you think at the time it is an impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it, you find that forever after you are freer than you were before. —ELEANOR ROOSEVELT”
― Jay Carter, Nasty People

“They may talk rapidly and say things that will rip your heart right out of your chest. They can be very invalidating. Their conscience is diminished during the mania, so they may do or say things that seem unconscionable. In their normal state of mind, they may be quite personable and conscientious. If you have friends or relatives who have this imbalance, you really need to not take what they say personally when they are manic. Most of us think things we would never actually say, but mania can be a direct thought-to-mouth process. During the mania, the prefrontal lobe of the brain is diminished, so their judgment is poor, even though they may think brilliantly. They are not in tune to the bigger picture of things or the consequences of what they do. They may intellectually know what they are doing, but they are not engaged in the bigger picture. They feel good, and they may have what I call the trilogy operating: ego, arrogance, and entitlement. I know you might think that people can always help what they say, but if you do think that, refer to the section above on narcissism. Sometimes they really can’t help it. I am not trying to make excuses for them. I am merely trying to point out that it is not personal. What”
― Jay Carter, Nasty People

“If you abuse a collie when it is a puppy, she may shy away from people when she grows up. If you abuse a German shepherd, she may bite people when she is an adult. A pit bull may kill people when she grows up. A shih tzu will probably still love people when she grows up (and maybe become a therapist).”
― Jay Carter, Nasty Women

“Statistics show that it doesn’t matter whether a person is forced to go to a rehab or whether they volunteer. The cure rate is the same.”
― Jay Carter, Nasty Women

“There is a certain feeling that goes along with a double bind, a feeling of being trapped. This feeling should be your cue to start being aware of your environment. This feeling should automatically make you stop thinking, stop introverting. Remove yourself from the immediate situation, and take a look at what’s happening. Once an invalidator has you introverted and thinking, you are under his or her control. The solution: Do not introvert. Do not take it personally. Step back and take a look. Do not defend yourself. Try to notice what makes the invalidator want to put you on the spot.”
― Jay Carter, Nasty People