Angela B. Chrysler > Quotes

“I’ll give you until dawn. Whatever you ask of me, I’ll answer. Whatever you wish, I’ll consent.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“I smiled to hide the hell I lived. I smiled to hide the darkness. On the surface, I smiled and grinned and laughed. I had mastered my emotions. What emotions I feel, I allow. No one suspected my wars.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“Books. More books than I had ever seen in my life. I gasped and crawled to my knees. I couldn’t breathe. Books galore. Music books, philosophy books. Math books. Geometry. Opera scores, logic. I sobbed and cradled the books. I hugged them to my naked chest and I cried. I smelled them and touched their spines. I remember how violently my fingers shook. I buried my nose in their pages and wept. Never had I ever held so many books in my life. And they were mine. All my very own. The orgasm still riddled my body. It had barely begun to fade. One orgasm ended, but the euphoria was just beginning.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“Electricity is loud. Did you know? When we had power outages, the peace from the forest would seep in and blanket the house in perfect, beautiful silence.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“My father had started counting every penny he put into me. Every dime. Every dollar. He couldn’t give me a gift or hand me food without telling me how much I took from him. How selfish I was. How much my existence cost him. I had decided that I was worth exactly a dollar and if my father had to choose between the dollar and me, he would choose the dollar. TV was far more valuable.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“I have a fear of relationships,” I began. “When I love, I love easy, deep, hard, strong, and long. But I can not marry. I can not live with anyone. I can not accept gifts from anyone or let anyone close enough for intimacy.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“Hjuki and Bil


Hjuki and Bil chased the moon,

With waters from Byrgir’s well,

Upon their shoulders they did share,

Simul the pole and Saegr.



‘Mani,’ they cried and chased the sky,

‘From Byrgir whence we came,

To water the earth and water your drink,

And water the seas with rain’.



Hati looked back and Skol ahead,

But Mani gave no reply,

For Hjuki he took, and bent his crook,

And Bil was taken thereafter.



Hjuki and Bil still chase the moon,

From Byrgir whence they came,

To water the earth and water the drink,

And water the seas with rain.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Dolor and Shadow

“If I were alone right now I would descend into the bowels of my mind and, this time, I wasn’t certain I could come back. There was less and less reason for me to.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“I slid back into my mind and slid once more to my worlds. The wind and the green of Ireland flooded back to me and the clouds moved in from the sea. I threw my head back to the skies and smiled. I could hear the stream nearby and wasted no time seeking it out. She called to me and I listened. I found the stream and I followed through the wood. How I missed my forest, my cottage, my realm. How I wished for nothing else, but to stay there until I died.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“Up there with the wind and the trees, I found me. I could slip so easily into the elements and feel them move through me. It felt like I could really fly and wanted, so badly, to jump, to try.
...
There, in my glen, I was home. That is the only happiness I remember.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“She was the keeper of my smile and my laugh. She who housed my hopes, my dreams, my spirit. She was the center of my being, the bane of my existence, she was my be-all and end-all.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“I knew where I was. It had been too long. I blinked back the image and tried to clear my head. I had to remember which world I was in.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“I did want to release this poison inside of me. Something longed to put it out there. I ached to be heard. I had tried so many times before.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“Women have a sense about themselves. There are certain vibes they can feel. They just know. It’s survival instinct we were born with and mine was going off like a bean si on coke.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“My smile forever glows in my eyes and I know it. Too many men have told me this. I’m lethal.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“Online predators have mastered the art of sitting back and scanning a forum for a “target.” They look for females who brag and boast: first sign that the target is insecure. Then they move in and feel her out. They ask about her: what she likes, what she hates. Insecure people often and easily talk about themselves when barely coaxed. Within five minutes, a predator can determine if the target is close to her father or not. You absolutely want a female who has daddy issues because if the “pinch and grab” is to work, the predator must segregate the child from the parent as soon as possible. If the female has a good relationship with her father, this can never happen and the predator knows it. The female with a healthy parental relationship will confide in the father they trust and the father will move in to protect. The pedophile does this all while appearing sincere, genuine, loving, and affectionate. They compliment the target. Tell her things…like how smart or how beautiful she is. While they shower her with praise, they reinforce one message. “I accept you. I approve of you.” In truth, they are literally making notes as to what the target desires, dreams, and wants. They listen and reciprocate. The first three days are crucial for selecting a target. It’s all about trust and earning it fast. Time is of the essence.
...
On day one, you want to select a target and study their wants, loves, hates, and weaknesses. Make an agreement to meet next day, same time, same place. This establishes a sense of dependency with the target.
...
Shower with praise and develop a sense of acceptance. Make a request and watch her obey. Punish her with rejection. Reward with approval using gifts and compliments. All of this is impossible if a daughter knows her father loves her, and she isn’t needing the acceptance from others.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“As a child, all I saw were the monsters”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“My music had been my solace and I lived without it for ten years.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“I wear my soul in my eyes. Everything in my life primed me for the next event good or bad. Every event left me in the mental state I needed to be in to enter and maintain the next stage. If something had altered at any point along the way, then maybe I stood a chance. But it didn’t. One train wreck prepared me for the next train wreck, which only prepared me for the next train wreck until I had inevitably become what I am before you.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“I clicked on the message and slipped back into Ireland where I lay smiling in Raven’s arms. Together we watched the fire from the piles of blankets, clothes, and pillows scattered about on the cottage floor.
I felt him kiss the top of head and I tightened my hold on him.
“You know none of this is real, right?” he whispered. “It’s just a fantasy.”
I buried my face in his chest and felt him breathe beneath me.
“I know that,” I said. “But if I can’t have you, then I’ll settle for Ireland. Besides I’ve had a bad day today and I need this. I want to cry.”
...
“But you...” I looked into his eyes. “You walked in and sat down beside me and it feels so right. I can't live without you. I love what we have, where we are... And if ever there is a chance for more, I would take it in a moment’s breath. I love this. Whatever it is, I love it. I need it so much in my life. I need you. I need exactly what we are like this.
...
“I would want you to teach me. I would want you to teach me how to be intimate and how to let you in. I would show you all my cards, everything that I am and I would say please teach me to be gentle and sensual and romantic. Please teach me how to accept love because I don’t know how.”
...
You meant the world to me right up to the end, even when you found a way to wake me from the lies. And for that, you will always be my dearest friend, my sweetest love, regardless of whether or not you were real.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“The inner-most thoughts of our psyche. Those are the words we keep secret.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“ear. In most people, it provokes a response to run. ... I will make you cum and then I will run. That is what I was trained to do. My brain is programmed this way. My body is conditioned this way. Fear is my trigger. This is what I am. Fear. This is what I have become. This is my defense. You asked for my story. I will tell you exactly how I came to be like this.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“I hated checking my voicemail. I associate it with matters of importance and nothing ever was. Such a pain. I also hated guests, change, interruptions, and the feeling I got when someone came to my door. Anxiety, terror, then the arousal. I wanted him to leave and afterward I would indulge in a bit of fantasy.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“A person is not defined by their choices when the world is right, but by their choices when the world goes wrong. ... I think this is what Richard taught me. Shaun taught me to fight. Piss-ant taught me standards. Joe taught me endurance. Scott taught me to persevere and keep a cool head. Richard taught me to own my choices, good or bad.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“It felt good being independent and I loved it. Space. That was something familiar to me. That was something I could understand. Before my first kiss, I prized my solitude and had learned to associate safety and security in isolation.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“My mother was beautiful, but insecure, and she boosted her lack of confidence with boasting and bragging. Every story was embellished. Every truth, exaggerated. The rule with my mother is simple. Believe nothing.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“With mouths agape, they stared in awe at the floor of fire and wall of flame. Atop a horse of golden flames that whipped and licked the leather reins, untouched by the fire that twisted and burned, sat Heimdallr, guardian of the Bilrost.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Dolor and Shadow

“I remember dying a slow, painful death, the kind that leaves you hating the world. I was like a worm. I wove myself a cocoon of dragon scales and there I stayed. ... I shunned emotion, hated all, and embraced logic. I was cold and callous. I had given up. While the trees withered and died, so did I. I turned my heart to stone that autumn.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“I remembered. I had thrown it away all those years ago when I closed the lid of my piano and walked away. Music had been the largest line that tethered me to my pain and the first of the lines I killed to ease the hurt.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken

“Endurance teaches us one thing, if nothing else: to savor the calm after a storm. To savor the lives of those who survived.”
― Angela B. Chrysler, Broken