Ask the Author: Martyn Chapman
Answered Questions (11)
Martyn Chapman
Sadly, despite what some people think, Casanova was not a fictional character – so, he’s out. Then, there’s the anarchic Holden Caulfield from the Catcher in the Rye – but I’m the wrong age for that now, excruciatingly uncool, and far too tired to start a revolution. So, with dour and witty quotes like: “I’d say thistles, but nobody listens to me.” And, “It’s not much of a tail, but I’m sort of attached to it.” My choice has to be Eeyore (Winnie the Pooh). After all, with my mediocre public service career and dismal books, I’ve lumbered through life like a neurotic donkey. The inscription on my gravestone shall simply read: ‘Too Ashamed. Too irrelevant. So they buried me face down.’
Martyn Chapman
(Interesting! What a difficult task to set. I think the real answer is, “No, I can’t.” However, to meet the challenge, I have made a stumbling and very clumsy attempt:)
Her body trembled violently as her head was drawn to the handle on the bathroom door – the metal appeared to be vibrating. She blinked her eyes incessantly, her mind crumbling into oblivion as the door handle twisted and then moved slowly downwards.
Her body trembled violently as her head was drawn to the handle on the bathroom door – the metal appeared to be vibrating. She blinked her eyes incessantly, her mind crumbling into oblivion as the door handle twisted and then moved slowly downwards.
Martyn Chapman
As I grope inside my moth-ridden ‘summer’ drawer for my favourite Mediterranean swimwear and snorkel, my thoughts turn to the inevitable wait at the airport and how I should pass the time. Obviously, a bacon sandwich and a large latte comes first, but what then? Well, books of course. This year I have chosen two very different books. My first choice is Alan Bennett’s wonderful ‘The LADY in the VAN’ (The Complete Edition, which includes sketches and photographs). It was a present from a lovely friend, and a book I haven’t read before. My second book is Lee Child’s ‘Tripwire’. I’ve only just been introduced to the fascinating Jack Reacher and these stories are everything that is promised on the cover – fast-moving and gripping. Perfect with a cool poolside beer. Cheers.
Martyn Chapman
Writers are like ravens. We steal our friends’ experiences (and the occasional shiny garment . . . sorry, I mean objects!) and then, when we believe that they’ve been safely forgotten about, we plonk them in our books.
Just like 'Christmas on The Law', my 2017 Christmas short story will also be based on a true family mystery and tragedy. This German mystery is currently unresolved and my role is to take the story to the magical Nuremberg Christmas Market and try and bring it to a conclusion. I’m intrigued by challenges like: supposing these characters met up in these enthralling and historical surroundings, how would this influence them? What would they say to each other? And what would happen next? Fifty per cent of all my writing is based on reality, and I personally dislike plots that are too farfetched. "What! 50%? Even Hormones?" Some astonished and disturbed readers will exclaim. Well . . . look . . . essentially, all my books have to start like a film inside my head. If I can’t see the story in pictures, then I can’t write it down. Maybe if I just made the damn movie I might produce something worth blogging about.
Oh, well, writing successfully is the biggest mystery of all.
Just like 'Christmas on The Law', my 2017 Christmas short story will also be based on a true family mystery and tragedy. This German mystery is currently unresolved and my role is to take the story to the magical Nuremberg Christmas Market and try and bring it to a conclusion. I’m intrigued by challenges like: supposing these characters met up in these enthralling and historical surroundings, how would this influence them? What would they say to each other? And what would happen next? Fifty per cent of all my writing is based on reality, and I personally dislike plots that are too farfetched. "What! 50%? Even Hormones?" Some astonished and disturbed readers will exclaim. Well . . . look . . . essentially, all my books have to start like a film inside my head. If I can’t see the story in pictures, then I can’t write it down. Maybe if I just made the damn movie I might produce something worth blogging about.
Oh, well, writing successfully is the biggest mystery of all.
Martyn Chapman
Worryingly, I’m going astray here, but as much as I try and think clearly, my head is drawn to those curious furry aliens from the planet Zog – yes, I really mean the unruly and bewitching Zig and Zag. My fascination began in 1992 when they appeared on Channel 4’s The Big Breakfast. I know that they are mere puppets, but like Boy George’s chaotic introduction to the world of popular music, I’ll be forever intrigued by the roles they portray and their teasing sexuality. My bewilderment deepened when Zag came out as a cross-dresser with a bizarre attraction for Barbie dolls. Is their madcap stupidity an elaborate hoax? Or do they actually have intelligence of Martian proportions? So my favourite fictional . . . well, ‘celebrity’ couple, are a pair of anarchic and entertaining brothers who might actually be lovers. Hopefully, there are others on Goodreads who understand my peculiar choice . . . or will simply forgive this indulgence.
Martyn Chapman
Within the bricks of a novel there are several ideas and inspirations, but my core stories have come through personal experience, my work, and the revelations of loved ones.
I also feel very fortunate to have a large group of friends, and together we have enjoyed some exciting and intriguing adventures. There is nothing more satisfying for a writer than to travel safely hidden away within the comforting folds of a group of friends. And these travels have taken me to a number of fascinating European cities, where I stumbled upon secret places and people who would provide enormous stimulation.
'So,' you ask quietly, 'in writing Hormones and Crumble you’ve experimented with a pair of red stilettos and a mini-skirt?'
Well, that’s an interesting question. You see, a writer sees these garments and then we observe how the material moves, how the legs drive the fabric forward . . . You’re not convinced, are you?
Okay, I might have tried wearing similar clothing at a fancy-dress party, but two hours and a few beers is all that a writer needs! Anyway, I swear I’ve never sneaked up to the top of a tower crane or strangled a poor Dutch prostitute. The red lights were pretty though.
I also feel very fortunate to have a large group of friends, and together we have enjoyed some exciting and intriguing adventures. There is nothing more satisfying for a writer than to travel safely hidden away within the comforting folds of a group of friends. And these travels have taken me to a number of fascinating European cities, where I stumbled upon secret places and people who would provide enormous stimulation.
'So,' you ask quietly, 'in writing Hormones and Crumble you’ve experimented with a pair of red stilettos and a mini-skirt?'
Well, that’s an interesting question. You see, a writer sees these garments and then we observe how the material moves, how the legs drive the fabric forward . . . You’re not convinced, are you?
Okay, I might have tried wearing similar clothing at a fancy-dress party, but two hours and a few beers is all that a writer needs! Anyway, I swear I’ve never sneaked up to the top of a tower crane or strangled a poor Dutch prostitute. The red lights were pretty though.
Martyn Chapman
Writing is a tiny blemish on the skin, a mysterious bone in the elbow, a fetish. You’re born with it.
For me, inspiration is everywhere and stories began to develop inside my head from the very first moment that I was given a toy swing as a child. As I gently rocked back and forth, I felt convinced that the world was a movie and everything around me turned to stone if I was not on the film set.
My most recent book was inspired by a simple worm and it’s frantic struggle to escape from a concrete tomb. Now that is inspiration!
For me, inspiration is everywhere and stories began to develop inside my head from the very first moment that I was given a toy swing as a child. As I gently rocked back and forth, I felt convinced that the world was a movie and everything around me turned to stone if I was not on the film set.
My most recent book was inspired by a simple worm and it’s frantic struggle to escape from a concrete tomb. Now that is inspiration!
Martyn Chapman
2016 has been a very busy year. We (Sabine, my proof-reader and editor) have recently launched my first short story, Christmas on The Law, and we’re very close to publishing my third novel, Saving Worms (Jan 2017).
The exciting aspect of being an independent writer is that you don’t necessarily have to stick to just one genre. My first novel borders on the erotica with a tragic and complex tale of forced transvestism and prostitution; my second novel concerns an aloof crane driver, a disturbing event from childhood, and the riddles and secrets of friendship. The one thing that these books have in common is dark humour, mystery, revenge, and murder.
Saving Worms is totally different. This is a romantic comedy that stretches like an elastic stocking from the Yorkshire Dales, England, to the Black Forest in Germany. And the worms? Yes, they travel too.
The exciting aspect of being an independent writer is that you don’t necessarily have to stick to just one genre. My first novel borders on the erotica with a tragic and complex tale of forced transvestism and prostitution; my second novel concerns an aloof crane driver, a disturbing event from childhood, and the riddles and secrets of friendship. The one thing that these books have in common is dark humour, mystery, revenge, and murder.
Saving Worms is totally different. This is a romantic comedy that stretches like an elastic stocking from the Yorkshire Dales, England, to the Black Forest in Germany. And the worms? Yes, they travel too.
Martyn Chapman
Sorry, this is the serious bit, but only because it’s so important.
Undoubtedly, my first advice is that you must give yourself realistic time to complete the piece of writing to the best possible standard. Yes, I can only comment from my own experience and I have a full-time career in the civil service, but it took me ten years to write my first novel. Recently, I have returned to this book and uploaded a revised (and final!) version onto Amazon. Unless you are a robot or blessed with a very extraordinary talent, the vast majority of writers need the time to develop their skills and get a feeling for the work that they want to produce. To achieve this, you have to do a huge amount of writing.
Secondly, it might be free to publish your work on wonderful websites like Amazon, but don’t undo this colossal personal investment by not seeking professional help in plot structure, proof-reading, and a good book cover. Your book will become a part of you and if you do decide to publish it, you deserve a gorgeous specimen to be paraded in the public domain.
For my first two published novels, I approached a professional organisation for help and have since being very lucky to team up with an amazing proof-reader and a very talented artist. It has taken two years to write my latest book, Saving Worms, and then a further ten months for the editing and proof-reading process.
Finally, after all this work and investment, never dare to believe that you will make any financial return. Playing golf or running half-marathons cost money and the only return you receive is pleasure. I would never dream of giving up my Saturday morning round of golf because I fail to win any prize money.
Undoubtedly, my first advice is that you must give yourself realistic time to complete the piece of writing to the best possible standard. Yes, I can only comment from my own experience and I have a full-time career in the civil service, but it took me ten years to write my first novel. Recently, I have returned to this book and uploaded a revised (and final!) version onto Amazon. Unless you are a robot or blessed with a very extraordinary talent, the vast majority of writers need the time to develop their skills and get a feeling for the work that they want to produce. To achieve this, you have to do a huge amount of writing.
Secondly, it might be free to publish your work on wonderful websites like Amazon, but don’t undo this colossal personal investment by not seeking professional help in plot structure, proof-reading, and a good book cover. Your book will become a part of you and if you do decide to publish it, you deserve a gorgeous specimen to be paraded in the public domain.
For my first two published novels, I approached a professional organisation for help and have since being very lucky to team up with an amazing proof-reader and a very talented artist. It has taken two years to write my latest book, Saving Worms, and then a further ten months for the editing and proof-reading process.
Finally, after all this work and investment, never dare to believe that you will make any financial return. Playing golf or running half-marathons cost money and the only return you receive is pleasure. I would never dream of giving up my Saturday morning round of golf because I fail to win any prize money.
Martyn Chapman
Am I a writer? Or is that being too presumptuous?
I suppose I’m classed as an ‘indie’ and I produce books with my delectable partner rather than working with an established publishing house. But then, was the incredible Vincent Van Gogh a painter? What I mean by this is that his career was launched following his death, and no one knew much about him when he was alive. By choosing to be cremated I know that I can’t take my books with me, so this must be my moment.
No, I’m certainly not Vincent Van Gogh, and I look at my professional peers with great reverence and wonderment. And yet, I do write books and the marvellous thing that this brings is being able to tenderly layout my imagination.
A writer is a little different to the norm because we present our thoughts and fantasies to the watching world. It’s like a great reveal, I strip off my cloak, shiver a little, and then proclaim that this is what I’m thinking. Then, like a market stall, some readers browse and others pass by quickly.
I suppose I’m classed as an ‘indie’ and I produce books with my delectable partner rather than working with an established publishing house. But then, was the incredible Vincent Van Gogh a painter? What I mean by this is that his career was launched following his death, and no one knew much about him when he was alive. By choosing to be cremated I know that I can’t take my books with me, so this must be my moment.
No, I’m certainly not Vincent Van Gogh, and I look at my professional peers with great reverence and wonderment. And yet, I do write books and the marvellous thing that this brings is being able to tenderly layout my imagination.
A writer is a little different to the norm because we present our thoughts and fantasies to the watching world. It’s like a great reveal, I strip off my cloak, shiver a little, and then proclaim that this is what I’m thinking. Then, like a market stall, some readers browse and others pass by quickly.
Martyn Chapman
I have never suffered from writer’s block, but there is a good reason for this and it certainly has nothing to do with self-confidence.
Very sadly, writing does not pay any of my bills and I’ve never been fortunate enough to leap out of bed on a Monday morning and then settle down to begin an enthralling new chapter. In fact, the opposite is true. I’ll be stuck in a dull meeting about expenditure when I’ll feel a sudden compulsion to jot down some ideas for a new plot line.
Very often, I have to scribble notes in a secret code, which isn’t easy when my imagination is dazzled by red lights reflecting on a murky Dutch canal and my fingers are squeezing the neck of a poor prostitute.
Very sadly, writing does not pay any of my bills and I’ve never been fortunate enough to leap out of bed on a Monday morning and then settle down to begin an enthralling new chapter. In fact, the opposite is true. I’ll be stuck in a dull meeting about expenditure when I’ll feel a sudden compulsion to jot down some ideas for a new plot line.
Very often, I have to scribble notes in a secret code, which isn’t easy when my imagination is dazzled by red lights reflecting on a murky Dutch canal and my fingers are squeezing the neck of a poor prostitute.
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