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eden ✩
https://www.goodreads.com/abysmal
“People tell you who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.”
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“The more the ego seeks to secure every possible liberty, independence, superiority, and freedom from obligations, the deeper does it fall into the slavery of objective facts. The subject's freedom of mind is chained to an ignominious financial dependence, his unconcernedness of action suffers now and again, a distressing collapse in the face of public opinion, his moral superiority gets swamped in inferior relationships, and his desire to dominate ends in a pitiful craving to be loved.”
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“Man, the bravest of animals and the one most accustomed to suffering, does not repudiate suffering as such; he desires it, he even seeks it out, provided he is shown a meaning for it, a purpose of suffering. The meaninglessness of suffering, not suffering itself, was the curse that lay over mankind so far – and the ascetic ideal offered man meaning! It was the only meaning offered so far; any meaning is better than none at all … man was saved thereby, he possessed a meaning, he was no longer like a leaf in the wind…he could now will something; no matter at first to what end, why, with what he willed: the will itself was saved.”
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“I'm becoming an angry person with no tolerance for anyone. I'm aware of this shift, and yet have no desire to change it. If anything, I want it. It's armor. It's easier to be angry than to feel the pain underneath it.”
― I'm Glad My Mom Died
― I'm Glad My Mom Died
“About this time I had a dream which both frightened and
encouraged me. It was night in some unknown place, and I was
making slow and painful headway against a mighty wind. Dense fog
was flying along everywhere. I had my hands cupped around a tiny
light which threatened to go out at any moment. Everything
depended on my keeping this little light alive. Suddenly I had the
feeling that something was coming up behind me. I looked back,
and saw a gigantic black figure following me. But at the same
moment I was conscious, in spite of my terror, that I must keep my
little light going through night and wind, regardless of all dangers.
When I awoke I realized at once that the figure was a "specter of the
Brocken," my own shadow on the swirling mists, brought into being
by the little light I was carrying. I knew, too, that this little light was my
consciousness, the only light I have. My own understanding is the
sole treasure I possess, and the greatest. Though infinitely small
and fragile in comparison with the powers of darkness, it is still a
light, my only light.”
― Memories, Dreams, Reflections
encouraged me. It was night in some unknown place, and I was
making slow and painful headway against a mighty wind. Dense fog
was flying along everywhere. I had my hands cupped around a tiny
light which threatened to go out at any moment. Everything
depended on my keeping this little light alive. Suddenly I had the
feeling that something was coming up behind me. I looked back,
and saw a gigantic black figure following me. But at the same
moment I was conscious, in spite of my terror, that I must keep my
little light going through night and wind, regardless of all dangers.
When I awoke I realized at once that the figure was a "specter of the
Brocken," my own shadow on the swirling mists, brought into being
by the little light I was carrying. I knew, too, that this little light was my
consciousness, the only light I have. My own understanding is the
sole treasure I possess, and the greatest. Though infinitely small
and fragile in comparison with the powers of darkness, it is still a
light, my only light.”
― Memories, Dreams, Reflections
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