The Science of Stuck Quotes

“When you learn how to re-parent yourself, you will stop attempting to complete the past by setting up others to be your parents.” When you constantly seek validation from other people or when you push to the point of exhaustion, you’re “setting up others to be your parents.”
― Britt Frank, The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward

“Anxiety is sometimes the result of ignoring yourself.”
― Britt Frank, The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward

“Rule 1. Take Inventory Rule 2. Look for Easy Moves Rule 3. Make a List of Three Choices Rule 4. Know Which Pieces You Can and Cannot Move Rule 5. Do One Thing Rule 6. Listen to Feedback Rule 7. Celebrate”
― Britt Frank, The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward

“The most important thing to remember is that childhood is over. You made it. All of it. You survived birth, infancy, toddlerhood, childhood, and adolescence—for this alone you deserve a parade.”
― Britt Frank, The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward

“Anxiety is a series of uncomfortable physical sensations in your body without an identifiable source.”
― Britt Frank, The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward

“Anxiety is like the check-engine light on your car. If you disable it, you’re screwed.”
― Britt Frank, The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward

“Stay the course. In trauma work we often use the phrase “A different kind of bad is good.” A different kind of bad means change, and sometimes changing feels like breaking. But you are unbreakable”
― Britt Frank, The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward

“Stuck on "on": how to manage a Sympathetic response
1. Say to yourself, "I am having trauma response. This is a physiological process. I'm not crazy."
2. Make a list of people, places, and things that you love. Notice how your body feels as you think about hugging your best friend, sitting on a beach, or curling up with your favorite book.
3. Use your senses. Weighted blankets. Essential oils. Soft music. Warm tea. These can all help your nervous system come back down.
4. Count backward from the number 31.
5. Notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, and 1 thing you can taste.
6. Push as hard as you can against a door or a wall. Notice your muscles firing. Step back, take a break. Repeat three times.
7. Do simple math problems in your head. Simple thinking tasks will help your brain reorientate itself.
8. Name the sensations inside your body. Say to yourself out loud, "I feel tension in my neck. I feel tightness in my stomach. I feel he
at in my face." Then look for one place in your body where you feel neutral or calm. Most people can access neutral by noticing random areas like their left knee cap or right ring finger. Focus your attention first on the neutral area, then on the tense area, then on the neutral area. Do this for four minutes.
9. Don't ask why you feel panic. Do ask who or what will help you feel safe.
10. If you have a dog or a cat, gently put your hand on their heart and count their heartbeat for three minutes.

Stuck on "off": how to manage a high tone dorsal vagal state.
1. Remind yourself that you are not lazy or unmotivated. Tell yourself, "I am having a trauma response. This is a thing. I am not crazy."
2. Get cold. Splash ice-cold water on your face. Hold ice cubes in your hand. Put an ice pack on your neck. Or jump into the coldest possible shower you can stand.
3. Hum or sing. There's a reason people have changed "Ommm" since the 6th century.
4. Social connection is powerful
medicine. Connect with a human over the phone: good. Over video chat: better: In person: best.
5. Don't ask why you're feeling frozen. Do ask who or what might help you feel safer.
6. Don't use hyperbolic exaggerated language like "I feel buried" or "I'm drowning." This language reinforces the stress response. Instead, get really specific." I need to call my son's teacher, pick up my prescription and finish a proposal for work." Write down the specific tasks. This will help your brain click back into solution mode.
7. Suck on a lemon. This sounds weird, but it can help suck your brain out of shutdown mode.
8. Open and close your mouth. Then move your head. Then stretch your arms and legs.
9. Grab both ends of a blanket and wring it out as you would if it was soaking wet. Notice your muscles firing as you do this. Take a break. Repeat three times.
10. If you have a safe and willing friend or partner, make eye contact with them for 2-3 minutes. It's super awkward, but you will get a bonus dose of energy if you both end up laughing.”
― Britt Frank, The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward

“You can’t change anything about the past. But you can change everything about your future when you understand how your brain processes the present.”
― Britt Frank, The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward

“Anxiety always comes from somewhere—even if you don’t know where that somewhere is.”
― Britt Frank, The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward