Anchored Quotes

“Then we become more than simple story listeners. We become story editors and story writers.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“Belonging is not just a psychological state, it’s a biological need. Social connection is a necessary ingredient for a life of well-being.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“As long as we are alive, moments of both co-regulation and self-regulation are necessary for well-being.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“We listen to the sounds of words before we look for the meanings of those words.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“The word prosody is used to describe the inflection and rhythm of a voice. Prosody can be thought of as the music of our voice.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“Our soundscapes are filled with particular sounds called soundmarks.7 Some soundmarks help us anchor in regulation while others prompt a move into mobilization or shutdown.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“Where are the soundscapes that invite you in?”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“To locate your social engagement system, start by placing your hands at the base of your skull where your brainstem meets your spinal cord. This is the hub of the social engagement system.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“Our biology has evolved to include a system known as the social engagement system. When the ventral vagal building block was added, five circuits came into connection in the brainstem and the human social engagement system came to life. The ventral vagal pathway to the heart, joined with the nerves that control our eyes, ears, voice, and the way we move our head, make the social engagement system truly a biological face-heart connection”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“While we may give up the active search for people to connect with, our nervous system never stops looking for, waiting for, and longing for connection. Until the day we die, we long for safe and reliable connections. Co-regulation is essential; first for survival and then for living a life of well-being.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“our longing is not simply to feel safe but to feel safe in the arms of another.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“I am human because I belong to the whole, to the community, to the nation, to the tribe, to the earth. ARCHBISHOP DESMOND TUTU,
FOREWORD TO DIGNITY”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“What am I sensing in my body? Where is energy moving? Where is energy not moving? Do I feel filled? Do I feel empty? What state is active in this moment”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“Listening from the inside out is an equally important way to connect.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“Have you found a state that you don’t visit very often? Do you see a pattern that you know well or is there an interesting new pattern emerging?”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“the next step is to turn your attention to finding a phrase that helps you say a regulated yes and stay anchored in the state of listening with curiosity.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“Some of the phrases I use to tune in and turn toward are as follows: “It’s my biology wanting to send me a message.” “My job is just to listen.” “I can tune in, turn toward, and listen without needing to make meaning.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“we need to remember that our behaviors, feelings, and beliefs are emerging from an autonomic state, and our autonomic nervous system is working in service of our survival.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“With awareness comes understanding and with understanding comes choice.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“To try this practice, designed to help us move from self-criticism to self-compassion, bring up a moment when you felt distress and read these three phrases1: 1.​This is a moment of suffering. 2.​Suffering is a part of life. 3.​May I be kind to myself. If it feels soothing, you can place a hand on your heart and repeat these phrases.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“Autonomic listening is inextricably linked with the need for self-compassion. Self-compassion is an emergent property of the ventral vagal system. Survival states automatically activate self-criticism, so when we move out of safety and connection into a state of protection, we lose the capacity for self-compassion.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“From an anchor in ventral safety and regulation, we can connect to our states and listen to our stories with the distance needed for reflection.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“To me, the body says what words cannot. MARTHA GRAHAM,
NEW YORK TIMES INTERVIEW, 1985”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“Notice the ways it is different from the nonreactive, everyday landscape. The survival landscape offers protection through disconnection and collapse. If you begin to feel pulled into shutdown, bring your attention to what you brought with you from your ventral landscape and remember you are still connected to the safety and regulation of that place. Use your journal to document the features of your dorsal vagal landscape.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“Look for something in your ventral landscape that you can take with you.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“ventral, sympathetic, and dorsal, experiment with naming your states with your own labels. Turn inward, connect with each state again, and see what names you hear (e.g., sunny, stormy, foggy; flow, chaos, collapse; connected, activated, gone). Write down combinations of names that catch your interest and play with them until you find three that fit together and represent your experience.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“The image I have been using recently for the ventral vagal state is a colorful umbrella that is sheltering the sympathetic and dorsal vagal states, keeping them safe and dry.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“Ventral vagal energy is the active ingredient in safety and connection.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“The ability to flexibly move between states is a sign of well-being and resilience.”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

“the three pathways of the autonomic nervous system (dorsal, sympathetic, and ventral) emerged and formed the building blocks of the system (hierarchy). Our preferred place, the place where we find experiences of health, growth, and restoration, is anchored in the ventral vagal state of safety and connection”
― Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory