How to Keep House While Drowning Quotes

“Upon your seeing a dirty kitchen, your inner voice may say something like, “I am such a hot mess,” but challenge yourself to think of something else it could mean. “I cooked my family dinner three nights in a row” is a true statement. If care tasks are morally neutral, then having not showered or brushed your hair in three weeks does not mean “I am disgusting” but instead simply means “I am having a hard time right now.” Let me tell you what the mess in my home means. It means I’m alive. Dirty dishes mean I’ve fed myself. Scattered hobby supplies mean I am creative. Scattered toys and mess mean I am a fun mom. The stacked boxes in the hall mean I was thoughtful enough to order what we need. The clothes strewn on the floor mean I had a full day. And occasionally mess means I’m struggling with depression or stress. But those aren’t moral failings either—and neither is that moldy coffee cup I keep not taking to the kitchen.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“Next time you are trying to talk yourself into doing a care task, what would it be like to replace the voice that says, “Ugh, I should really go clean my house right now because it’s a disaster,” with “It would be such a kindness to future me if I were to get up right now and do _______. That task will allow me to experience comfort, convenience, and pleasure later.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“9 Take a look at the history behind the term self-care sometime. Start with googling Audre Lorde. It wasn’t always about yoga and hobbies.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“With routines you are either on track or not. With rhythm you can skip a beat and still get back in the groove.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“Although it looks like a lot, there are actually only five things in any room: (1) trash, (2) dishes, (3) laundry, (4) things that have a place and are not in their place, and (5) things that do not have a place.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“There are just some seasons of life that we have to limp through.”
― KC Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“As you embark on this journey I invite you to remember these words: “slow,” “quiet,” “gentle.” You are already worthy of love and belonging. This is not a journey of worthiness but a journey of care. A journey of learning how we can care for ourselves when we feel like we are drowning. Because you must know, dear heart, that you are worthy of care whether your house is immaculate or a mess.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“Leaning into the things we feel naturally motivated to do creates momentum”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“Creating momentum is key because motivation builds motivation.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“having a limited capacity is not the same as being entitled and accepting help is not the same as exploiting others.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“Think back to the last kind thing you did for another human or animal. Remember the compassion you felt? The gentleness with which you helped them? That person. This is your compassionate self. This self feels empathy for others because they are worthy of love, and this self wants to give it to them.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“But sometimes the “right” way of doing something creates barriers for certain executive functioning skills. Sometimes the simple reason is that the right way is not enjoyable and so it gets procrastinated.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“favorite boundary phrase, which is “thank you for your concern, but I am not taking any feedback on this issue right now.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“In my work as a therapist I have seen hundreds of clients who struggle with these issues, and I am convinced now more than ever of one simple truth: they are not lazy. In fact, I do not think laziness exists. You know what does exist? Executive dysfunction, procrastination, feeling overwhelmed, perfectionism, trauma, amotivation, chronic pain, energy fatigue, depression, lack of skills, lack of support, and differing priorities.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“Health and hygiene are far more complex than “eat healthy and shower.” You must possess the social skills to call the doctor and attend appointments. You must have the time and energy to fill prescriptions and, again, the executive functioning to take the medications every day. Even tasks that appear to be secondhand thoughts to most people—brushing your teeth, washing your hair, changing your clothes—can become almost impossible in the face of functional barriers.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“How you relate to care tasks—whether you are clean or dirty, messy or tidy, organized or unorganized—has absolutely no bearing on whether you are a good enough person.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“And remember, while you compare yourself to others, convinced that if you could be like them you’d be happy and worthy, there is probably someone comparing them-selves to you, thinking the same. We are all somebody’s Susie.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“You are not lazy or dirty or gross. You are not a failure. You just need nonjudgmental and compassionate help.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“If you are wanting to tackle the pile of dishes—read on. step one: preparation Eat something sweet. Get that blood sugar up and find a great song to put on. Get yourself a cute apron and a pair of dishwashing gloves.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“laundry rules 1. Laundry baskets go in bedrooms Laundry baskets go everywhere. They go in every room even and especially in the kitchen and living room. 2. Wash clothes when the bins are full Wash only on Mondays and wash everything on Monday. Eventually this day will become synonymous with laundry and it will be easier to remember. 3. Sort darks and whites Load everything together. Do not sort. Wash on cold. 4. Transfer from washer to dryer quickly Set a timer once the washer starts. Set timer again once dryer starts. 5. Fold clothes Create multiple bins/baskets for clothes and toss them in unfolded. Hang a few shirts. 6. Put away in everyone’s different closets in their room All clothes are stored in one room, which is the en suite closet off the laundry area. It makes no sense to take clothes to three different closets when I am the person dressing all three of those people. Sit on butt and put away every family member’s laundry in under eight minutes without moving. making laundry serve you Laundry does not have to be done the way you have always been taught to do it.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“If you are completing care tasks from a motivation of shame, you are probably also relaxing in shame too—because care tasks never end and you view rest as a reward for good boys and girls. So if you ever actually let yourself sit down and rest, you’re thinking, “I don’t deserve to do this. There is more to do.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“At the end of the day I typically have a big pile of dirty dishes. I’ve been known to spend ten minutes organizing them on the countertop before loading them into the dishwasher. People almost always scratch their head and say, “You know the right way to do dishes would have been faster that what you just did.” And they aren’t wrong. It is, technically speaking, faster to load dishes directly from the sink into the dishwasher or, better yet, directly from using them into the dishwasher throughout the day. But sometimes the “right” way of doing something creates barriers for certain executive functioning skills. Sometimes the simple reason is that the right way is not enjoyable and so it gets procrastinated. For a lot of people, finding a method that bypasses the most executive functioning barriers or that makes a task a little less intolerable is better than what’s “quickest.” In the end, the approach that you are motivated to do and enjoy doing is the most “efficient,” because you are actually doing it and not avoiding it.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning

“realized that I only ever wanted to be skinny because I wanted to be loved and happy. But I already have that.”
― K.C. Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning