Dedicated Quotes

“That’s what commitments are—alternatives to self-obsession. Commitments free us to dedicate ourselves to something bigger than ourselves—to something beyond our shells. The French philosopher Jacques Maritain said that the meaning of life is “self-mastery for the purpose of self-giving.” This is the challenge of growing up—to turn the corner from self-mastery to self-giving. What is the moment at that corner—between inwardness, growth, and concerted self-development and outwardness, public interestedness, and other-centeredness? Commitment.”
― Pete Davis, Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing

“The philosopher Roberto Unger introduced me to the direct idea that our roots can lie in the future—and that in a democracy, “prophecy speaks louder than memory.”
― Pete Davis, Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing

“What accounts for this hesitation? Why do we love committers but act like browsers? I think it’s because of three fears. First, we have a fear of regret: we worry that if we commit to something, we will later regret having not committed to something else. Second, we have a fear of association: we think that if we commit to something, we will be vulnerable to the chaos that that commitment brings to our identity, our reputation, and our sense of control. Third, we have a fear of missing out: we feel that if we commit to something, the responsibilities that come with it will prevent us from being everything, everywhere, to everyone.”
― Pete Davis, Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing

“You’ve probably had this experience: It’s late at night and you start browsing Netflix, looking for something to watch. You scroll through different titles, you watch a couple of trailers, you even read a few reviews—but you just can’t commit to watching any given movie. Suddenly it’s been thirty minutes and you’re still stuck in Infinite Browsing Mode, so you just give up. You’re too tired to watch anything now, so you cut your losses and fall asleep.”
― Pete Davis, Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing

“reality becomes whatever we commit to.”
― Pete Davis, Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing

“Even if you get past all these monsters, there’s simply a lot of pain and exhaustion.”
― Pete Davis, Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing

“Early in his career, Martin Luther King Jr. preached about the need to have three dimensions in our life: length, breadth, and height. Length is about our connection to ourselves. Breadth is about our connection to our community. And height is about our connection to the transcendent. If these three dimensions are out of whack, King said, we will be, too. This advice tracks the three fears of commitment—and the three gifts on the other side of them. When you defeat the fear of regret and find a vocation—a purpose—you find a connection to yourself. When you defeat the fear of association and find solidarity—when you make friends—you find a connection to a greater community. And when you defeat the fear of missing out—through the joy of depth—you find a connection to the transcendent.”
― Pete Davis, Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing

“Early in his career, Martin Luther King Jr. preached about the need to have three dimensions in our life: length, breadth, and height. Length is about our connection to ourselves. Breadth is about our connection to our community. And height is about our connection to the transcendent. If these three dimensions are out of whack, King said, we will be, too.”
― Pete Davis, Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing

“Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote that we must choose between being an anvil or a hammer. We’ll either mold the world, or be molded by it. If you never go deep, you will always be the anvil. And the surest path to being the hammer is depth.”
― Pete Davis, Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing

“You exert your will to choose something bigger than yourself at the outset of a commitment, but because it is bigger than yourself, what it eventually asks of you is also bigger than your original choice.”
― Pete Davis, Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing

“Overcoming the fear of regret starts with lowering the stakes. It helps to remember that not every commitment is an existential saga, and that not all commitments have to be permanent. Commitments are relationships, and relationships are like living things. And living things die. When the life has gone out of a commitment, it’s no longer a relationship—it’s just a dead rule. It’s good to take on relationships and invest in them, and it’s good to work to heal relationships when they are sick. But when they are dead, they are dead. And there’s something morbid about playacting what’s not there anymore.”
― Pete Davis, Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing

“And then one day they would kick it all down and it would crumble in an instant, because their inner experience of these activities had become hollow years before.”
― Pete Davis, Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing

“for we have in our power the ability to perform the slow but necessary work of turning visions into projects, values into practices, and strangers into neighbors. But only if we commit.”
― Pete Davis, Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing

“Perhaps the most dangerous trend stemming from our modern identity crisis is the practice of taking a tiny scrap of identity that remains after the flood and having an outsize relationship with it. Instead of it being one part of you, it becomes an idol—and you feel a need to signal your devotion to it in dramatic ways.”
― Pete Davis, Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing