Forgiving What You Can't Forget Quotes

“Sometimes when there are trust issues with people, it leaves you in this weird place of suddenly wondering who else in your world is not telling you the complete story. Even the slightest skepticism like this can quickly turn into full-blown suspicions that leak into all your relationships,”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“I felt I was working so hard to keep my heart in a good place—a forgiving place, a hopeful place—that I almost decided it would just be easier to let the bitterness have its full way with my heart. The payoff of forgiveness didn’t seem to be there like I’d hoped.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“I will not crumble if the other person accuses me of wrong intentions when I set boundaries. Instead, I can firmly say, “Please hear me speak this in love. I will respect your choices. But I need you to respect my choices. Communicating my boundaries is not being controlling or manipulative. It is bringing wisdom into a complicated situation.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“I can be honest about what I can and cannot give. It doesn’t make me a bad person to communicate the reality of my capacity. Dysfunction diminishes my capacity in every area. Boundaries increase my ability to function with more regularity within the capacity I have.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“I can say no. I must not confuse the command to love with the disease to please.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“Maybe it’s time to reeducate some people in our lives with clearly stated, gracefully implemented, consistently kept boundaries. It’s for the sake of your sanity that you draw necessary boundaries. It’s for the sake of stability that you stay consistent with those boundaries.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“it’s time to train some people how to treat us.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“Boundaries aren’t to push others away. They are to hold me together.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“Remember, forgiveness shouldn’t be an open door for people to take advantage of us. Forgiveness releases our need for retaliation, not our need for boundaries.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“The term enabling is often used for friends and family who seem to perpetuate addictive behaviors in a loved one by covering up their choices, rescuing them from consequences, and smoothing over issues they cause. But the term can also be used for how we handle family members whose behaviors aren’t caused just by an addiction but also by other issues they refuse to acknowledge and expect others to go along with and accept as normal.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“saving someone isn’t possible if they don’t agree they need to be saved. Even if I get them off these tracks in this moment, they’ll climb right back on them tomorrow. If your heart is more committed to change than theirs is, you may delay the train wreck but you will not be able to save them from it. And from what I’ve experienced, the more you keep jumping onto the tracks to try and rescue them, the more likely it is that the train will run over you both.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“I cannot control things out of my control. It’s easier to accept the fact that I can’t stop the rain.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“But when you are grieving over something or someone that was taken away, you wish you could go back in time. You dream in reverse. Instead of hoping for what will one day be, you long for a more innocent time when you lived more unaware of tragedy. But the griever knows they can’t go back in time. So healing feels impossible, because circumstances feel unchangeable.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“I grieve over it all. Grieving is dreaming in reverse.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“The proof doesn’t serve you; building a case won’t heal you. Holding on to all the hurt will only steal from you all that’s beautiful and possible for you. Let it go.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“Waiting for something from them holds you hostage to what the other person might not ever be willing to give. But if you want to move on? Heal? Lay down what hurts? It’s 100 percent your choice to make. The steps needed are yours to take. It’s what can be yours when you feel what you feel, think what”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“Soft hearts don’t break or beat or belittle, but broken hearts with unhealed pasts can often be found traveling wrong paths. They hurt, they sting, they say words they don’t really mean. The pain they project is just an effort to protect all that feels incredibly fragile inside of them.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“You must empty enough so you can shift from griever to receiver. There’s new to be found. The new healing you discover will be wonderful, but it probably won’t give you answers for why all this hurt happened. Making peace with the past doesn’t mean that you’ll ever be able to make sense of what happened. Good thing there’s something better than answers. To get better you don’t have to know why. Why they hurt you, why they misunderstood you, why they betrayed you, why they didn’t love you, protect you, or stay like they should. Their reasons are multilayered with a mysterious mix of their own pain. They are dealing with their own heartbreak and their own soul wrestling.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“I’m not a victim. I am a healed woman walking in victory.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“We need to feel what we feel. We need to think through what we need to think through. We need to get it all out and sort it all out. And, most of all, we need to stay put and be present for it all. Here”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“In relationships we have experiences both good and bad. We develop perceptions about the world and other people that affect what we see as we move on through life. Those perceptions interpret and fill in the gaps, and that belief then informs our reality.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“We can’t change what we have experienced, but we can choose how the experiences change us.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“inside every loss, a more wise, empathetic, understanding, discerning, compassionate person of strength and humility has the potential to arise within us.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“Yes, loss is certainly part of what shapes us. But it doesn’t have to all be detrimental. Loss can also shape us in wonderful ways if we will let it.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“There are hurts and losses we’ve experienced in our past that feed wrong beliefs and unhealthy tendencies, holding us back in the present.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“Loss is never the end of the story.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“At the very same time we grieve a loss, we gain more and more awareness of an eternal perspective. Grieving is such a deep work and a long process, it feels like we might not survive it. But eventually we do.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“And maybe that’s the first lesson for what makes vulnerability so complicated. If we risk being open, we risk being hurt. We risk the other person taking something from us. And we know to fear this pain, because, unlike Adam and Eve, we’ve experienced this pain. So we pull back and we get bitter and we become more and more easily offended and less and less willing to be vulnerable.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“Together, we’ll fight the shame threatening to bully its way into your mind. I will not add to your shame. I will speak the truth but always with the goal of helping you and helping us to stay healthy. I will not reduce you to being a sum total of your struggles. I will speak life by reminding you who you really are”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

“Instead of vulnerability meaning “I expose myself to harm,” what if it can be “opening myself to know and love other people while also allowing them to know and love me”?”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again